Chapter 42
Tsunade cared little about anything around her. The days just meshed together as she drank and gambled her life away. There was little reason to care about anything because everything she cared about was already gone.
This world was just an empty shell that she lived in. She wasn't even living, though, just waiting for the day she would disappear. This world was no longer for her; she didn't feel like she belonged in it anymore.
She lost, like she usually does. She lost this game called life, and now it had taken everything from her. So, she drank, and she gambled because it meant nothing. After all, that was the only thing that kept her mind from its darkest places.
And the only reason she didn't want to confront the deepest and darkest place in her mind was because of one girl whom she took in on a whim. She didn't understand Shizune at all. She had already taught her everything she could.
She could return to the village and be treated with more respect than anyone else. Or she could leave for any place in the world and do as she wished. Yet, Shizune stayed with her, took care of her, and tried to protect her.
"What an idiot." She didn't know who she meant: herself, Shizune, or this boy lying down on the table, completely out cold. "He is still a hundred years too early to be able to outdrink me."
"I wouldn't say a hundred; maybe ten should suffice for how he is doing right now." Tsunade turned to the Third Hokage, who appeared out of nowhere and was sitting with her right now. "Shizune, be a dear, and please take care of him."
"Take him to our room," Tsunade said when Shizune looked over at her. "Who is he anyway? And he said he didn't come here because you asked. Was that true?"
"He didn't. His name is Iruka Umino, and he was my son's student. The one Orochimaru took to do his experiments on."
"I see. How bad was it?"
"He was dissected, drugged to oblivion, but before Orochimaru could go further, my son managed to get to him. And he managed to get that boy out; that's all that matters."
"Do you want my sympathy, old man? I'm sorry for your loss, but it has nothing to do with me. No matter who you send, this boy or Jiraiya, my answer won't change."
"I know."
"So, what? You thought you could come yourself?" Tsunade scoffed at the Third Hokage's face. "Nothing would change even with you here."
"I know. There is nothing in the village for you. Nobody is waiting for you. Even Jiraiya barely comes by nowadays."
"So why send him to me?"
"I didn't," he replied. "He came himself. Because he wanted you."
Tsunade took a long sip from one of the remaining bottles on the table. They sure made the bar owner happy today. Most people would need a doctor by now to treat alcohol poisoning. So, she could give her praise for the boy to last this long.
Though it didn't matter. Whatever his past was, whatever he wanted right now from her, it didn't matter. She had abandoned her life, and that meant the village, too. Like the rest of the world, it was just an empty place with no meaning to it anymore.
"You can take him back on your way out," Tsunade said as she finished her drink.
"I think I will have you return him. Though you only have till Monday, he has a class to teach."
"Hey, old man, who do you think you are?" She was getting pissed off by all those uninvited guests coming to her and telling her what she should do.
"Me?" The Third Hokage chuckled. "I am just an old man. A foolish old man. A man who could only try his best, but failed over and over again. A man who could only disappoint everyone around him, and yet still be expected to do his damn job. An old man who shouldn't have grown so damn old to begin with."
"Tch, it is too late to regret it now." Tsunade let him talk and even drink from one of her bottles.
"And yet, that's all I do nowadays," he replied. "But I don't regret a few things in this life of mine. I don't regret loving you three as my own children, even if one of you betrayed me. I don't regret letting my own son go to rescue his student, even if it cost his life. I don't regret looking at his boy as if he were my own grandson, even if I worry for him far too much. Because I can never stop loving them, no matter what, and it is the greatest gift that was bestowed upon me."
Tsunade, for the first time in ages, took a good look at the Third Hokage. Her teacher. He was old. It was hard to believe that the most powerful man she had ever known was getting so old. His hair was now gray. His face was full of wrinkles.
His once fierce and sharp eyes were now replaced by ones that held only melancholy. And even though he had a humorous voice, Tsunade could feel the tiredness in his tone. There was no longer a teacher she once knew in him anywhere.
"That was always your problem: you are too forgiving, too caring, too loving of the people around you." Tsunade couldn't stand him. "I am not you, not even in the slightest. I reserved my love for only a few. And I have lost them; there is nothing in my heart to give anymore, not to anyone. So, you can leave; your speeches won't change anything."
"As I said, I didn't come here to change you or bring you back. Just to say that you are always welcome back. No matter what."
"Tell that to Danzo; that man will never let it go that I left just like that," Tsunade scoffed at the idea of that ugly bastard ever letting her do as she wished.
"Danzo is dead." That was probably the only thing she was happy to hear from her uninvited guests.
"He croaked finally? What got him? His own poisonous heart? Well, that's probably not, since one needs to have a heart to begin with for that to happen."
"That boy you dismissed so easily killed him."
"What? He didn't even stand a chance against Shizune, and I know how strong she is compared to…"
"Iruka Umino is his name. Try to remember it this time. And yes, he isn't as strong as someone like Shizune, whom you taught personally. Yet, he still fought against the whole ROOT, got to Danzo, and finished him. Because that is the kind of man he is, someone who can be beaten, and while still on the ground, will think of a way to get to you. A true shinobi, who endured much at his age and continued to endure for the future generation."
"If you aren't leaving, then I will be going," Tsunade said as she stood up, too fed up with his nonsense. "I don't care who or what he is. Or what he has done or is doing. I don't care about anything, old man."
"I wonder, maybe you don't, but I think he will get to you." The Third Hokage finished his drink as he also stood up to leave. "Iruka is someone who, no matter what, manages to get to his targets. No matter the obstacle or who they are. So, be careful."
There was still one thing that hadn't changed about him: his stupid riddles. The way he spoke of things was so enigmatic that it sickened her. It was like he knew everything and was observing how others would react.
Though it seemed more like he already knew how others would react to begin with, she couldn't believe that such a man, who knew so much, was still so damn foolish. He should never have picked up that damn hat, since he knew what the price of it would be, and yet he still did. What else could she call such a man but a fool?
…
She thought she had known the most foolish and idiotic people in this world, but looking at him, she now knew that the rest weren't even in the same league. Countless cut scars, burns, and poisoned skin that would never regain its color without a transplant, and that was only his front.
Iruka Umino was just a boy in her eyes. A boy who should have been long dead. But looking at his body, she could tell that even death wouldn't want it. From her experience, she could tell just how many times his bones were broken and how many times they were treated improperly.
As he said, he had long since given up on life to have such a broken body. It's just that the life in him wasn't ready to let him go for whatever reason. Still, even then, how can somebody be so reckless with their own body?
"Lady Tsunade?" Shizune looked worried as she watched Tsunade inspect Iruka's body.
"I don't even want to know what was done to him. Where was his fat? It looks like he only started growing muscle a couple of months ago. And before that, he must have starved himself to the bone. He should still be in the hospital, not picking fights he can't win."
"Argh," Tsunade flinched away as she heard a groan coming from the man; it was pure agony.
She covered him after satisfying her curiosity and was about to turn away and go back to sleep, but his groans of agony didn't stop. They were subdued, like he had experienced it countless times and was just trying to get through the pain.
But it wasn't physical pain. No, she was well-versed in this kind of pain the boy must now feel. The nightmares that are tormenting him are probably not that dissimilar to hers. He is just a boy; she couldn't watch him anymore.
"Maybe I went a bit too far with him." Shizune looked apologetic as she watched the boy.
"Don't be sorry for him," Tsunade told her. "He doesn't need it, nor do you have to be."
Everyone was just following this stupid path of shinobi. So, nobody needed to feel sorry for them. It was their choice, and even though they knew what was awaiting them in the future, they continued to follow that path. None of them deserved any sympathy.
"Should we leave before he wakes up?" Shizune asked.
"There is no reason. Since he managed to find us, he will be able to do so again. I will just tell him off when he wakes up and make him give up."
There was no way she could return to that place. She would only be reminded of Nawaki and Dan. She couldn't bear to do so. To be reminded of them meant being reminded of their deaths and everything that could have been done to avoid them.
Though Danzo's death did surprise her, as she hated that man, his lack of decorum and his thinking were what at first drove her away from the village. But it wasn't only him: the elders, the clans, the whole system.
All of them had problems, and none of them even tried to do better. None of them could think of change, of fixing things. And the Third Hokage wasn't any better. He also decided that change wasn't worth it. How could she live in a place like that, where even death couldn't bring people to change their ways?
For that reason, she was glad that Shizune decided to stay with her rather than return to the village. The last thing Tsunade wanted was to see Shizune corrupted too. Corrupted by power and fear to the point where she couldn't see the people in front of her.
Tsunade would have nothing to do with any of that. So, no matter who came to take her back, she wouldn't even listen to their words. That was her decision, and it was the only thing she was sticking to.
A.N. As always, thanks for reading and supporting me, so I can continue writing without any concerns, and if you want more, up to seven more chapters, you can support me on pa treon. com \ ironwolf852.