This wasnt what anyone expected. Yes, it was safe to say that no one could ever say that this was what they had thought they would see when they got out of bed in the morning.
Voldemort had expected fear. When ever he thought of his greatest battle He had always expected a grand duel that would be spoken of in hushed, terrified whispers for centuries, a clash of titans where the very foundations of the wizarding world would tremble under the weight of his dark ascension, he always imagined it would be dumbledore and after he killed the old man he they would be none to stop him as he began his absolute rule.
But that's not what was happening here.
Because what he got instead was being mocked by children, mere children for god sake, they were killing his men and somehow keeping up with him to defend against him. It was a sight to behold.
Diagon Alley had never seen anything like it. Three children, each appearing no older than ten or eleven, with cherubic faces and mischievous glints in their eyes, were overwhelming the most feared killers in Britain with a blend of absurd precision and cruel, theatrical flair.
The public, unknowingly safely shielded by an invisible, shimmering dome of magic that Harry had anchored to the surrounding buildings, watched in stunned disbelief. The nightmare that had plagued their sleep for decades was being toyed with and reduced to a pantomime circus.
The three boys were not moving like they were fighting. Rather, it was like they were performing a show for all to see. They moved with a synchronized grace that was entirely unnatural, dodging Killing Curses as if they were slow-moving bubbles in a light breeze.
The brown-haired boy, possessing a smirk that looked far too sharp for his youthful face, twirled what was clearly a toy wand he technically didn't even need. With exaggerated elegance, he redirected a bone-breaking curse toward Walden Macnair, who yelped as the spell hit him and, instead of breaking ribs, transfigured his dark, intimidating executioner's robes into layers of fluffy, neon-pink tutu frills.
"Honestly," the boy sighed dramatically, his voice carrying clearly over the sounds of battle through a magical amplification that made him sound like a stage actor. "If you're going to try and murder people in broad daylight, at least dress for the occasion. Pink really brings out the bloodlust in your eyes, don't you think? It softens the 'I-murder-innocents' aesthetic."
He burst into a fit of giggles as Macnair tripped over his own petticoats, the heavy boots of the Death Eater tangling in the lace. Nearby, people, watching from the edge of the crowd under the shielding, felt a surge of hysterical pride.
Another Death Eater, Avery, tried to sneak around a pile of rubble to attack from behind. The black-haired brother didn't even turn around. He simply stomped his foot onto the cobblestones, triggering a burst of animated stone hands that erupted from the ground. They grabbed Avery by the ankles and hoisted him upside-down, shaking him like a piggy bank.
His wand fell from his hand, clattering uselessly on the stones, followed by a handful of stolen coins and a very confused toad. His dignity, however, fell much harder.
"Ten points to Gryffindor if someone gives him a wedgie!" the brown-haired one called out, cupping his hands around his mouth.
To the shock of the remaining Death Eaters, the crowd's fear was beginning to melt into amusement. Someone in the crowd, bolstered by the safety of the shield, actually threw a heavy jar of pickled onions at the dangling wizard. Two more people followed suit with dungbombs.
The upside-down wizard shrieked as enchanted paint suddenly splashed across his chest, forming bold, glowing letters that pulsed with a neon light "I TRIED TO KILL KIDS, AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID SHIRT."
The crowd erupted into a mixture of jeers and laughter. Voldemort's scream cracked the windows of nearby shops, including the thick glass of Ollivanders. It is a sound of sheer, unfiltered, agonizing fury.
He was the Dark Lord! He was the conqueror of death! He was the heir of Slytherin, not a prop in a child's playground game! Yet these children were making a fool of him and his people.
He unleashed a massive pulse of magic, a wave of obsidian energy intended to level the street and everyone on it. The magic hit the wall and didn't pass, but the inside was destroyed and cleared out, with few of his people actually surviving.
Next was the red-haired boy who was barely even awake, SO he decided to leave little talk with him.
The red-headed brother, who had spent most of the fight looking like he was trying to find a comfortable place for a nap amidst the carnage, pointed lazily in Voldemort's direction. The pulse of magic bent and twisted around the children in a perfect, glowing arc, recoiling with twice its original speed and weight, and slammed directly into the Dark Lord's chest.
Voldemort staggered back, his breath hitching as his own malice was shoved back down his throat.
"Ugh," the redhead muttered, scratching his nose and blinking sleepily. "That spell really stinks when it hits the caster, doesn't it? It smells like wet dog, moldy cheese, and really bad life choices. You should try mints, Tom. Or maybe just stopping."
The boys seemed to be shifting the very world as spells curved around him, or vanished. The children did something that made the world spin, and it was getting hard to fight.
He needed to get it to stop.
The laughter that followed hit Voldemort worse than any reflected curse. It was the sound of his legend dying. He was not going to, and for this, he was going to make sure Timmy had a way, but it's very dangerous.
"Enough," Voldemort shouted as he released a blast destroying everything in the area, yet still nothing touched the people.
The spinning stopped as his men, those who were still alive or injured, stood from the ground and faced the little kids, now more wary, fear in their eyes and more tensed. The brown haired boy was laughing as the blaced haired boy smirked,
the red hair already dozy off. "are you wittle angry" the brown haired one said, making baby talk to voldemort who looked like he wanted to skin the boy and rip his insides out, "are you stressed is that it. it is old age, or too much work, maybe you just havent had some, maybe thats it. come on you can tell me dont be ashamed" he said wiggling his brows.
"Look at him, with a face like that, I'm pretty sure he's never gotten some," the black-haired one gestured to Voldemort. Someone seemed to snort in the crowd. That seemed to make the dark lord even angrier.
"or is it that you swing the other way" the brown haired one said as if trying to whisper it but everyone could still hear him. "its okay no one will judge you" the dark lord scream in rage and fired off a spell at the children who fired their one in unison, the clash hit creating an explosion that obsucred everyone vision before the dust clear and what people saw could only be described as jaw dropping.
There, standing where the darklord stood, was still him, but different. Where before he was in his robes looking menacing despite the situation, now....now he was in tight leather clothes, skinny shots wearing a...a....a starp-on with lucious malfoy kneeling in front of him in his underwear, hand on the starp-on.
The whole area froze as people tried to understand what they were seeing. "My eyes, my eyes," someone shouted from the crowds, as people started screaming and covering their eyes, while others bursted out laughing despite trying to hold it in.
The kids gasped as they covered their eyes, "Have you no shame" the black-haired one said coldly, shaking his head, "My eyes burn. I can't unsee it." The brown-haired one, screaming, rolling on the ground, "So that's what you prefer," the red one muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.
The dark lord and Lucious seemed not understand what was going on as they stood there trying to process what was happening, how they got in this situation. The Death Eaters didn't really know how to react and just stood there.
Then, a large blast hit the group again, and once more, as the dust cleared, the scene seemed to have changed. This time, Voldy was on his knees, a ball gag in his mouth, wearing shorts, hands and legs chained, with all his Death Eaters surrounding him, all covered in leather and wearing starp-ons.
"Make up your mind," the brown-haired one shouted, "are you the dark lord-who-gives or are you the dark lord-who-recieves" That seemed to send the crowd into another fit of laughter.
The Death Eaters all started to struggle with the leather as they tried to remove them and Voldemort was struggling in his restraints as he screamed with the gag on. The laughter continued for a few more moments before the atmosphere seemed to shift.
Then, the three boys stepped forward.
They were in sync. Their faces were blank and expressionless. As they spoke in unison, the same voice came out, making it sound like an echo, "I have had my fun, and I think it's time to end this." The one in three voice spoke, it was eerie as it freaked people out, making some even step back.
The form of the boys seemed to start to shimmer, then dissolve into dust as they started merging together. As it formed a black silhouette in the shape of a man, it was a man of black particles that just floated there with shining bright green eyes.
The crowd seemed to have all been put under a spell as their eyes glazed over, leaving only the death eater and Voldemort himself aware.
The creature raised its hand, and then from the sky it came.
The sky turned a deep, bruised purple, the clouds swirling into a violent vortex. Not because of a weather charm, but because the World itself was answering his Authority before magic even had a chance to react.
Voldemort tried to struggle as he saw the light and felt the magic being cast, but it was too late. For him and his follower.
Then came the light.
A pillar of divine might crashed down from the bruised sky, striking the center of the Death Eaters with the force of a falling mountain.
Pure magic came down and hit the target. The magic burned through the flesh, it was like it boiled their insides. Their screams didn't echo for long because there was nothing left of them to produce a sound, and nothing left of the air to carry it.
When the light finally faded, the alley fell into a silence so profound it felt like the world had forgotten how to breathe. There were no bodies. No ashes. No remnants of the dark robes or the masks. Just empty cobblestones and a slight, lingering scent of ozone and peppermint.
Harry dusted off his sleeve, more out of habit than need. He looked around at the glazed eyed witches and wizards who were still in their minds watching Voldy's humiliation.
"Well," he said, smirking slightly, his piercing green eyes glowing slightly. "That was fun. I think I've done enough community service for one day. Time to head back."
Another rift opened behind him. Green eyes glimmered with a final, mischievous spark before he stepped through, heading back toward Grimmauld Place with a spring in his stride.
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