Chapter 62: Luxury Cars, Romantic Disasters, and Two Very Large Problems
There were three things Kankuro loved in life.
Puppets.
Engineering.
And constructing increasingly ridiculous machines that made ordinary people question whether he understood the meaning of reasonable.
Tenten shared two of those interests.
She didn't particularly care about puppets, although she appreciated their mechanical complexity.
But weapons and engineering?
Oh, absolutely.
Which was why the two had been forbidden from working without adult supervision.
An unusual restriction considering they were both highly accomplished shinobi.
Unfortunately, their supervisors had very good reasons.
"Explain to me again," Shikamaru said slowly, "why the evacuation submarine needs a luxury entertainment room?"
Kankuro looked offended.
"Morale."
"Morale?"
"Obviously! People are escaping a potentially devastating invasion. They'll be stressed. We need to maintain morale!"
Shikamaru stared at the enormous blueprint.
There was a swimming pool.
A restaurant.
A theater.
And, for reasons nobody could explain, a miniature golf course.
"You're building a submarine," Shikamaru reminded him.
"Exactly."
"For emergency civilian evacuation."
"Exactly!"
"Not a floating holiday resort."
Kankuro looked personally wounded.
"Why can't it be both?"
Tenten nodded thoughtfully.
"He has a point."
Shikamaru closed his eyes.
Somewhere in the universe, common sense packed its bags and left.
They had promised Skypiea an evacuation system, which meant constructing enormous submarines capable of transporting thousands of civilians beneath the Blue Sea.
The vessels would require life-support systems, emergency supplies, medical facilities, sleeping accommodations, durable hulls, and reliable propulsion.
They would also need to withstand deep-sea pressure.
A minor inconvenience known as the ocean trying to crush everyone into paste.
Fortunately, advanced sealing techniques, chakra-enhanced materials, and Dial technology offered interesting possibilities.
Unfortunately, the engineers had discovered something even more interesting.
Luxury vehicles.
"Speaking of improvements," Tenten announced, pulling out another blueprint, "I've been designing something for myself."
Shikamaru immediately became suspicious.
"What?"
"A motorcycle!"
Asuma raised an eyebrow.
"A motorcycle?"
"An upgraded one. Advanced propulsion, Jet Dials, reinforced chakra-metal frame, defensive barriers, and cloud-based flight capabilities."
Choji leaned forward.
"So it flies?"
Tenten grinned.
"Exactly!"
Kankuro nodded approvingly.
"Excellent. I've been thinking about something similar for Gaara."
Shikamaru's eye twitched.
"Why?"
"Because he's the Kazekage!"
"And?"
"And a Kazekage deserves an appropriate official vehicle!"
Kankuro dramatically revealed another blueprint.
It depicted an enormous luxury car.
Armored.
Flying.
Equipped with defensive sealing arrays, advanced propulsion, and enough comfortable seating to make a royal carriage look like public transportation.
Asuma whistled.
"That's actually impressive."
"Thank you!"
"Completely unnecessary, but impressive."
Kankuro ignored the second part.
"Think about it. The Kazekage of Sunagakure arriving in a magnificent flying limousine! Political prestige! Luxury! Security!"
Tenten nodded enthusiastically.
"And the protective barriers would make it extremely difficult to damage."
"Exactly!"
"Plus, we could install emergency teleportation anchors."
"Brilliant!"
"And maybe concealed weapons!"
"NOW YOU'RE TALKING!"
Shikamaru slowly lowered his forehead onto the table.
Then Kankuro delivered the finishing blow.
"Besides, it'll be perfect for Gaara's dates with Conis."
Silence.
Choji stopped chewing.
Asuma stared.
Kurenai raised an eyebrow.
Tenten's eyes widened.
Then she smiled.
"Ohhhhh."
Kankuro grinned.
"Right? Imagine him taking her for a romantic drive through the clouds!"
Tenten immediately grabbed a pencil.
"We need adjustable lighting!"
"YES!"
"Comfortable seats!"
"OBVIOUSLY!"
"An automatic music system!"
"AND A REFRIGERATOR!"
Choji raised his hand.
"Can we add a snack compartment?"
Kankuro pointed at him.
"Finally! Someone understands luxury!"
Asuma rubbed his temples.
"You're building a dating vehicle for the Kazekage."
"A diplomatic transportation platform," Kankuro corrected.
"With romantic lighting."
"International relations!"
Kurenai finally stepped forward.
"All right, that's enough."
Everyone turned.
She smiled pleasantly.
It was the kind of smile that reminded people why genjutsu specialists were terrifying.
"You two have promised to develop evacuation vehicles for an entire civilization."
Tenten straightened.
"Yes, Kurenai-sensei."
"And instead, you're designing romantic limousines?"
Kankuro raised one finger.
"Technically—"
"Kankuro."
He lowered his finger.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Submarines first. Luxury vehicles later."
Tenten sighed.
"Fine."
Kankuro grumbled.
"Nobody appreciates innovation."
Shikamaru lifted his head.
"Trust me. When you've built enough submarines to evacuate Skypiea, I'll personally approve your ridiculous flying car."
Kankuro brightened.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"And Tenten's motorcycle?"
"Yes."
"And the entertainment room?"
"No."
"You're crushing my dreams."
"Good."
Despite the nonsense, the project was genuinely exciting.
The engineers had never attempted anything on this scale before.
Building enormous nonmilitary submarines required solving problems far removed from ordinary weapons development.
Air circulation, freshwater production, food storage, pressure resistance, medical support, passenger capacity, and long-distance underwater navigation.
Every solution could improve their existing technology.
And every failure would teach them something new.
Preferably without involving actual passengers.
Asuma examined the revised designs.
"Let's start by determining how many people each vessel needs to carry."
Choji nodded.
"And food supplies."
"Of course," Kurenai replied.
"Enough for a long journey."
"Yes, Choji."
"And emergency snacks."
Shikamaru sighed.
"Why is everyone obsessed with snacks?"
Choji looked genuinely confused.
"Because emergencies are stressful?"
Kankuro pointed at him.
"SEE?! MORALE!"
Kurenai confiscated the miniature golf blueprint.
Meanwhile, Naruto Uzumaki was doing something considerably more sensible.
Which was surprising, considering his reputation.
"Everyone ready?" he asked.
Gaara, Conis, Kakashi, Sakura, and Neji gathered around him.
Naruto grinned.
"Excellent! Express transportation service, now departing for Alabasta!"
Sakura folded her arms.
"Please don't announce it like we're boarding a train."
"Thank you for choosing Uzumaki Airlines. We hope you enjoy your instantaneous journey."
"Naruto."
"Complimentary refreshments are unavailable due to budget cuts."
Kakashi nodded.
"Terrible service. One star."
Naruto gasped.
"Betrayal!"
He activated the Flying Thunder God.
The group vanished.
One moment, they were surrounded by Skypiea's endless clouds.
The next, they stood inside a familiar palace courtyard beneath Alabasta's warm desert sun.
Conis gasped.
"We're here already?!"
Naruto spread his arms.
"Welcome to Alabasta!"
Gaara examined the surroundings with a faint smile.
The architecture, the heat, the endless desert beyond the palace walls...
It reminded him of home.
Conis noticed.
"Is your village like this?"
"In some ways," Gaara replied.
He looked toward the distant dunes.
"Sunagakure is also surrounded by desert. Although our buildings are different."
Conis smiled.
"Could you show me?"
"Of course."
Naruto grinned.
"Look at that! The Kazekage's first international sightseeing date!"
Gaara turned toward him.
A small amount of sand rose from the ground.
Naruto immediately pointed toward the palace.
"OH, LOOK! ARCHITECTURE!"
Kakashi chuckled.
Some things never changed.
News of Naruto's arrival spread through the palace remarkably quickly.
Apparently, it was difficult to keep the arrival of a blond, teleporting natural disaster secret.
Especially when that natural disaster had become something of a local celebrity.
"SAINT OF RAMEN!"
Naruto stopped.
A palace guard stood at attention.
Then another guard appeared.
"THE SAINT HAS RETURNED!"
Naruto slowly turned toward Kakashi.
"...It's getting worse."
Kakashi's eye curved.
"Quite the religious following."
"I didn't start a religion!"
"These things happen."
Sakura covered her mouth.
Neji looked toward the ceiling.
His shoulders were shaking suspiciously.
Then Princess Vivi appeared.
And suddenly, Naruto had a different problem.
"NARUTO!"
She hurried toward him with a delighted smile.
Before he could say anything, Vivi threw her arms around him.
"You're back!"
Naruto laughed, returning the hug.
"Hey, Vivi! Of course I'm back!"
She pulled away just enough to look at him.
"You said you'd visit, but I wasn't expecting you so soon."
"Well, I was nearby."
Sakura stared.
Nearby.
He had crossed an enormous distance through space-time ninjutsu, and his explanation was nearby.
Vivi laughed.
"I'm glad."
Then her eyes drifted toward Sakura.
"Hello, Sakura."
"Princess."
They smiled.
Perfectly polite smiles.
The kind exchanged by two women who were absolutely not measuring each other's proximity to a certain blond ninja.
Kakashi noticed immediately.
Naturally.
He had survived several wars, countless assassination attempts, and decades of shinobi politics.
Recognizing an incoming romantic disaster was practically instinctive.
"Well," he announced, "I should check on the palace defenses."
Neji nodded.
"I'll accompany you."
Gaara looked toward Conis.
"Would you like to see the city?"
Her face brightened.
"Yes!"
Vivi smiled.
"I can arrange a guide."
"That won't be necessary," Gaara replied.
Conis took his hand.
The two departed.
Naruto watched them go.
Then grinned.
"Gaara's really enjoying himself."
"He certainly seems happier," Vivi agreed.
Sakura nodded.
"Good for him."
Kakashi glanced between the three remaining youngsters.
Then smiled beneath his mask.
"Have fun."
And disappeared.
Coward.
Vivi led Naruto and Sakura into a private sitting room overlooking the palace gardens.
Tea and snacks arrived shortly afterward.
Naruto immediately helped himself.
"Ah! Alabasta hospitality! I've missed you!"
Sakura rolled her eyes.
"You were here a week ago."
"A week without good snacks is a long time."
Vivi giggled.
"I'm delighted to know my kingdom has left such a profound impression."
"Oh, absolutely. The people, the scenery, the food—"
"The princess?" Vivi added sweetly.
Naruto paused.
Sakura's eyes narrowed.
Vivi smiled over her teacup.
Naruto chuckled.
"Well, obviously. You're one of the best parts."
Vivi's smile widened.
Sakura's cup made a suspiciously loud noise against its saucer.
Oh, she was definitely doing this on purpose.
Vivi hadn't forgotten their goodbye.
The kiss.
The rather successful little trick she'd used to steal it.
At the time, she'd assumed Naruto would disappear into the Grand Line for months, perhaps years.
That was how adventurers worked.
They sailed away.
Got into ridiculous trouble.
And eventually returned with stories involving sea monsters, treasure, and inexplicable property damage.
But Naruto could teleport.
And he'd actually come back.
After barely a week.
Suddenly, the possibility of pursuing her growing crush seemed much more realistic.
Very interesting.
Very encouraging.
And Sakura Haruno was absolutely not enjoying this development.
She, Ino, and Hinata had already reached a rather delicate understanding concerning Naruto.
If he genuinely couldn't choose between them, they were willing to consider sharing a future with him.
It was an unusual arrangement.
A complicated one.
And certainly not something any of them had expected to discuss while stranded in another universe.
But they'd discussed it.
Vivi, however?
Vivi was not part of that agreement.
She was a lovely princess.
Kind, brave, intelligent.
Wonderful person.
Sakura liked her.
She simply didn't appreciate the princess treating Naruto's romantic future like an international trade opportunity.
Especially after that goodbye kiss.
Sakura hadn't forgotten.
Not even slightly.
"So," Vivi said, leaning closer to Naruto, "did you miss me?"
Naruto smiled.
"Of course."
"How much?"
"Enough to come visit."
Vivi laughed.
"A diplomatic answer."
"I've been attending meetings. It's contagious."
Sakura leaned forward.
"Careful, Vivi. He might start charging consultation fees."
Vivi smiled.
"Really? And what does he accept as payment?"
Sakura's smile became dangerous.
"Usually ramen."
Naruto nodded.
"Very reasonable rates."
Vivi rested her chin on her hand.
"Only ramen?"
Sakura watched her carefully.
Don't even think about it.
Vivi looked toward Naruto with an innocent expression.
"Because I remember you accepting something else last time."
Naruto blinked.
Then laughed.
"Oh, that."
Sakura's eyebrow twitched.
Vivi's cheeks colored slightly, but she maintained eye contact.
"That."
Naruto leaned back comfortably.
"You caught me off guard. Pretty clever."
Vivi smiled triumphantly.
"I thought so."
Sakura reached for a biscuit.
The biscuit cracked.
Very loudly.
Both looked toward her.
She smiled.
"Delicious."
Naruto glanced at the crumbs.
"...Apparently."
Vivi giggled.
And Sakura decided the princess was enjoying herself far too much.
A little later, Vivi offered to show them something.
She led them toward a large courtyard where several craftsmen were working around an enormous unfinished sculpture.
Naruto stopped.
Stared.
Then slowly began grinning.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me."
Before them stood the beginnings of a statue.
A blond hero.
A dramatic pose.
And a very prominent ramen bowl.
Vivi looked delighted.
"You remember my promise?"
Naruto burst out laughing.
"YOU ACTUALLY STARTED BUILDING IT?!"
"Of course!"
"THE RAMEN BOWL!"
"Naturally."
Sakura stared at the sculpture.
Then at Vivi.
Then at Naruto.
"You're making a statue of him holding ramen."
Vivi nodded proudly.
"He's the Saint of Ramen, after all."
Naruto was practically glowing.
"Finally! A nation that understands proper priorities!"
Sakura folded her arms.
"That statue is going to make your ego unbearable."
"Going to?" Vivi asked.
Sakura looked at her.
Then both women laughed.
Naruto placed a hand over his heart.
"Wounded. Betrayed. By two people I trusted."
Vivi stepped closer and brushed a little dust from his shoulder.
"Don't worry, Naruto. I think you make a wonderful hero."
Sakura watched her hand.
Closely.
Very closely.
Then she stepped forward and adjusted Naruto's collar.
"There. Much better."
Naruto glanced down.
"Was something wrong with it?"
"No."
Vivi hid a smile.
Sakura's face remained perfectly composed.
Naruto looked between them.
Then toward the enormous statue.
He had faced dangerous enemies, strange powers, and enough political disasters to fill several history books.
But somehow, standing between these two felt like navigating a particularly delicate battlefield.
One where nobody had technically declared war.
Yet.
Vivi lightly took his arm.
"Come. There's another part of the garden I want to show you."
Sakura immediately took his other arm.
"Wonderful. I'd love to see it."
Naruto glanced left.
Then right.
Then smiled.
"Excellent! Guided tour!"
Vivi and Sakura exchanged another smile.
A very dangerous smile.
Somewhere far away, Ino probably sneezed.
And for reasons she couldn't explain, felt an urgent need to check on Naruto.
The visit continued for another couple of hours.
Gaara showed Conis the desert landscapes and explained how life in Sunagakure differed from life in Skypiea.
She was fascinated by the architecture, the marketplaces, and the enormous stretches of sand.
Gaara, meanwhile, was enjoying something unfamiliar.
Showing someone a piece of his world without needing to discuss war, politics, or responsibility.
They even found a quiet café.
Conis ordered something sweet.
Gaara ordered tea.
And the Kazekage discovered that explaining sandstorms to a curious angel was considerably more enjoyable than attending council meetings.
Elsewhere, Kakashi checked on the protective arrangements they'd left behind, while Neji examined the palace's security.
Everything appeared peaceful.
Alabasta was recovering.
The people were rebuilding.
And the improvements Naruto and the others had helped establish were functioning properly.
A reassuring sight.
Eventually, everyone regrouped.
Vivi accompanied them to the departure courtyard.
"I'm glad you visited," she told Naruto.
Naruto grinned.
"Of course! I'll drop by again."
Vivi smiled.
"I'll be counting on it."
Then she stepped closer.
Sakura immediately became alert.
Oh, no.
Absolutely not.
Not again.
Vivi leaned forward.
Sakura shifted.
Naruto glanced between them.
Vivi smiled.
Then gently kissed Naruto's cheek.
"Until next time."
Sakura froze.
Naruto laughed softly.
"See you, Vivi."
Vivi stepped back, looking extremely pleased with herself.
Sakura narrowed her eyes.
The princess had learned.
Not another stolen kiss on the lips.
Something smaller.
More innocent.
Practically impossible to complain about without looking unreasonable.
That was clever.
Annoyingly clever.
Vivi glanced at Sakura.
Their eyes met.
Both smiled.
The diplomatic incident remained unresolved.
Naruto activated Flying Thunder God.
And the group vanished.
Vivi watched the empty courtyard for a moment.
Then touched her own cheek with a thoughtful smile.
Yes.
This little crush was definitely worth exploring.
Little Garden was exactly as Naruto remembered it.
Hot.
Humid.
Filled with enormous prehistoric creatures.
And home to two giants who had apparently decided that a century-long argument was an excellent retirement plan.
The group appeared near the familiar clearing.
A tremendous crash echoed through the jungle.
Birds scattered.
Trees shook.
Then came a booming laugh.
"GYAGYAGYAGYA!"
Followed by another.
"GABABABABA!"
Conis jumped.
"What was that?!"
Naruto smiled.
"Old friends."
A moment later, two enormous figures emerged from opposite sides of the clearing.
Dorry and Brogy.
The legendary giant warriors of Elbaf.
Each stood approximately twenty meters tall, carried enormous weapons, and possessed the cheerful disposition of men who considered attempting to kill each other a perfectly respectable recreational activity.
"NARUTO!" Brogy roared.
"GABABABABA! THE LITTLE HUMAN RETURNS!"
Naruto waved.
"HEY, BIG GUYS!"
Dorry leaned forward.
"COME TO WATCH OUR DUEL?!"
"Actually, we've got a proposal!"
Both giants paused.
"A PROPOSAL?"
Kakashi smiled.
"An interesting choice of words."
Naruto ignored him.
The shinobi explained their plans for Skypiea.
The protective barriers.
The evacuation submarines.
And the underwater refuge they intended to establish in the region near Little Garden.
Dorry scratched his beard.
"AN UNDERWATER CITY?"
"Emergency refuge," Shikamaru would have corrected.
Unfortunately, Shikamaru wasn't present.
So Naruto simply nodded.
"Basically!"
Brogy laughed.
"GABABABABA! SO YOU'LL BE BUILDING NEAR OUR ISLAND!"
"Yup. Which means powerful enemies might eventually come looking."
The giants exchanged glances.
Then grinned.
"LET THEM COME!" Dorry thundered.
"WE ARE WARRIORS OF ELBAF!" Brogy declared.
Naruto laughed.
"That's what I figured!"
Kakashi sighed.
Apparently, subtle diplomatic warnings were wasted on people whose hobby involved century-long axe fights.
Naruto folded his arms.
"Actually, there's something else. We're eventually planning to visit Elbaf. If you'd like, we could help you get home when we reach it."
Silence.
Dorry looked at Brogy.
Brogy looked at Dorry.
Then both shook their heads.
"IMPOSSIBLE!" Dorry declared.
"OUR DUEL IS UNFINISHED!" Brogy added.
Naruto nodded.
"Fair enough. What's the duel about again?"
Both giants froze.
Dorry scratched his head.
Brogy stroked his beard.
A long silence followed.
Then—
"...I DON'T REMEMBER!" Dorry admitted.
"NEITHER DO I!" Brogy laughed.
Conis stared.
"You've been fighting for a hundred years..."
"YES!"
"And you don't remember why?"
"NO!"
"...But you're still fighting?"
"OF COURSE!" both giants roared.
Naruto burst out laughing.
Kakashi rubbed his forehead.
Gaara looked mildly impressed.
Neji appeared to be reconsidering everything he knew about rational human behavior.
Sakura stared at the giants.
"A hundred years."
"GYAGYAGYAGYA!"
"A hundred years of fighting."
"GABABABABA!"
"And neither of you remembers the reason."
"THAT'S RIGHT!"
Sakura closed her eyes.
Somewhere, a medical professional was experiencing sympathetic stress.
Naruto eventually stopped laughing.
"All right, new idea!"
The giants looked toward him.
"Instead of staying here, why don't you come to Skypiea?"
Dorry blinked.
"SKYPIEA?"
"An island in the sky," Naruto explained. "Above the clouds."
Brogy's eyes widened.
"AN ISLAND IN THE SKY?!"
"Yup!"
"CAN WE FIGHT THERE?!"
Naruto grinned.
"Absolutely. We'll find you somewhere suitable for your duel."
Dorry considered that.
Brogy considered it too.
For the first time in a century, both giants were confronted with an extraordinary possibility.
A change of scenery.
"WE HAVE BEEN HERE A LONG TIME," Dorry admitted.
"A VERY LONG TIME," Brogy agreed.
"THE JUNGLE HAS BECOME BORING."
"AND THE DINOSAURS TASTE THE SAME!"
Conis slowly turned toward Gaara.
"...They eat dinosaurs?"
Gaara nodded.
"Apparently."
Naruto continued.
"Besides, Skypiea could use powerful guardians. If the World Government ever causes trouble, having two legendary giant warriors around would be extremely helpful."
Brogy grinned.
"SO WE WOULD PROTECT THE SKY PEOPLE?"
"Exactly!"
Dorry's grin widened.
"AND CONTINUE OUR DUEL?"
"Of course!"
The giants looked at each other.
Then raised their weapons.
"WHAT DO YOU SAY, BROGY?!"
"GABABABABA! A NEW BATTLEFIELD SOUNDS EXCELLENT!"
"GYAGYAGYAGYA! THEN IT'S DECIDED!"
Their enormous weapons crashed together.
The resulting shock wave shook the clearing.
Conis squeaked.
Sakura caught her balance.
Neji looked toward the shattered trees.
Kakashi sighed.
Naruto grinned.
"Awesome!"
Dorry lowered his sword.
"WE SHALL GO TO THE SKY!"
Brogy raised his axe.
"AND CONTINUE OUR GLORIOUS DUEL!"
Naruto gave them a thumbs-up.
"Welcome aboard!"
Then he paused.
A thought occurred to him.
A very important thought.
"Hey, Kakashi-sensei?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you think Gan Fall has ever seen giants?"
Kakashi looked toward the two enormous warriors.
Then toward Conis.
Then back at Naruto.
"...I suspect he's about to."
Naruto's grin widened.
"Oh, this is going to be hilarious."
Conis, meanwhile, had begun imagining the reaction of her people when two enormous warriors appeared in the sky and announced that they'd been trying to kill each other for a hundred years.
She slowly covered her face.
Somehow, she had a feeling her peaceful homeland was about to become considerably more interesting.
And considerably louder.