Xu Yan kept his face buried in his hand.
If secondhand embarrassment could actually kill a person, he was pretty sure he'd just become the first cannon fodder in history to die from it.
The bench went quiet. He genuinely wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole.It didn't. The earth, mockingly , stayed exactly where it was.
After what felt like a decade , he finally lowered his hand and forced out a smile. "...Haha. I just talk to myself sometimes. Bad habit."
Lu Yichen looked at him for a second, then nodded. "I see."
Xu Yan's smile nearly cracked in half.
[Please don't nod. Just pretend you didn't hear any of that. I'm begging you.]
Neither of them said anything after that. The silence very loud . Xu Yan snuck a glance sideways. Lu Yichen was scrolling through his phone , unbothered expression, like nothing mortifying had happened thirty seconds ago.
[Damn. Even checking massage looks so handsome on him.]
He looked away fast. [No. Control yourself. Pretty people are dangerous.dangerous for my heart .]
Right then his phone buzzed.
Campus Forum
🔥 Hot Post: "Business freshman caught cheating — on the FIRST DAY?"
Xu Yan's eyes lit up. He tapped it without thinking .The whole thing was already up — someone had gotten photos and everything. The comment count was climbing in real time.
1L: walked past by total accident, saw everything
2L: "she tripped" 💀
5L: that excuse deserves a medal honestly
11L: the keychain moment was so satisfying I clapped
Xu Yan grinned and scrolled faster.
[University students are terrifying. The breakup ended three minutes ago and there's already thirty comments.]
Then a shadow fell across his screen. He glanced up.Lu Yichen was looking at his phone.
Xu Yan locked it instantly. "...Habit."
Lu Yichen was quiet for a second . "You use the forum a lot?"
"Not really." A pause. "...Just everyday... ."
"..."
"..."
Xu Yan wanted to physically retrieve those words from the air. [It's literally your first day of school, what are you saying—]
But Lu Yichen didn't seem to care. He just pulled out his own phone.Xu Yan watched sideways. A familiar blue icon appeared on the screen.
Campus Forum.
He blinked. Once. Twice.[...Wait. He uses it too?]
Lu Yichen opened the exact same post and scrolled through the comments in silence. After a moment, he said, "Fourth comment's wrong."
"Hm?"
"That photo was taken just before the argument. It's not actually proof of anything."
Xu Yan stared at him. "...You're analyzing it?"
"You aren't ?"
"...reasonable. Very reasonable ." He nodded like this was a perfectly reasonable exchange to be having.Somehow, the whole thing had gotten weirdly comfortable — two strangers on a bench, one with milk tea, one with mineral water, both reading a stranger's breakup thread with the seriousness of literary critics.
A minute later, Xu Yan couldn't help himself. "The OP totally missed a key photo, by the way."
"The keychain?"
His eyes went wide. "YES. That was the emotional climax. The whole breakup loses half its impact without the keychain."
Lu Yichen gave a small nod. "Agreed."
Xu Yan just stared at him.[Wait.][He gets it.][He actually, genuinely gets it.]
Most people watched drama for the thrill of it. But This guy was breaking it down scene by scene, like he was reviewing a movie. For the first time since waking up in this body, Xu Yan felt someone this close to being a comrade.Then a phone rang. Lu Yichen glanced at the screen and stood up. "I have somewhere to be."
"Oh — okay ." Xu Yan nodded quickly. "See you."
The words were out before his brain caught up with his mouth.[...See you? Why would we "see" each other again? We watched one breakup together, that's not a relationship, that's a coincidence—]
He was still thinking how to his word back when Lu Yichen looked at him for one more second, then smiled.
"Mm," Lu Yichen said. "We probably will."
Then he turned and walked off down the stone path.
Xu Yan watched until he disappeared around the corner, then let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.He looked down at his half-finished milk tea. Then, quietly, opened his Notes app.
Today's Survival Log
√ Watched gossip.
He paused, then added one more line.
√Accidentally acquired a gossip partner named Lu Yichen.
He stared at that sentence for a long moment."...This doesn't count as changing the plot," he said out loud . "We just watched a breakup together. Professional spectators. That's all this is."
Satisfied with his own logic, he closed his phone and headed off toward the cafeteria, completely unaware that on the other side of campus, Lu Yichen had opened the Campus Forum again and type a name into the search bar.
'Xu Yan.'