The first official thing I did upon reaching Fontaine was not heroic.
It was not majestic.
It was not worthy of song, legend, or any respectable bard with standards.
The first official thing I did upon reaching the Nation of Hydro, justice, opera, drama, beautiful architecture, and extremely questionable emotional stability…
Was vomit on a random stranger's shoe.
To be fair, I did try to aim away.
That had to count for something.
Unfortunately, the stranger did not share my generous interpretation of the event, and approximately three seconds later, I received a very justified slap to the back of the head hard enough to make my soul briefly consider returning to Sumeru.
Paimon screamed.
Lumine apologized.
Nilou apologized harder.
Greg remained on my shoulder and somehow managed to radiate disappointment through scales.
I wiped my mouth with the dignity of a fallen emperor and raised one trembling finger.
"In my defense…"
Lumine turned toward me with dead eyes. "Do not."
Paimon hovered beside her, arms crossed and looking far too pleased with my suffering. "Paimon told you! Slow water movement! His only weakness!"
"It is not my only weakness," I muttered, pale enough to legally qualify as Fontaine marble.
"Oh yeah?" Paimon said. "Name another one."
I opened my mouth.
Then closed it.
Then glanced at Lumine.
Then Nilou.
Then Greg.
Then back at Paimon.
"…Pretty women, apparently."
Nilou's face turned pink.
Lumine smacked the back of my head.
"Worth it," I wheezed.
We eventually escaped the immediate social consequences of my ocean-based humiliation and continued walking through Romaritime Harbor. And honestly? Even while dead like a wet tissue, I couldn't stop staring.
Fontaine was different.
Inazuma had felt like being illegally exported into a thunderstorm with political trauma attached. When we first reached Inazuma, I was dead, depressed, wanted by bureaucracy, and emotionally prepared to fight the weather itself.
This?
This was different.
Here I was still dead.
Still slightly depressed.
Still fighting the aftermath of calm water betraying my stomach.
But I was also excited.
Very excited.
Dangerously excited.
The harbor itself already felt like a stage. Waterways shimmered beneath elegant structures, mechanisms turned with clean precision, and people moved through the place with that specific Fontaine energy that said even buying bread could become a dramatic legal statement if the lighting was good enough.
Nilou walked beside Lumine, her eyes wide with wonder. "It's beautiful…"
Lumine nodded. "It is."
Paimon floated forward, looking around eagerly. "Everything looks so fancy! And complicated! And expensive!"
"Welcome to Fontaine," I said, still slightly hunched but emotionally rising from the dead. "The nation powered by justice, mechanisms, dramatic timing, and the collective inability of anyone here to speak normally when they can perform instead."
Lumine sighed. "You've been waiting to say that."
"For months."
Nilou looked at me with curiosity. "So Fontaine is really centered around justice?"
"Oh, absolutely," I said, straightening a little despite my stomach threatening legal action. "Justice here isn't just a system. It's entertainment. It's culture. It's religion with better costumes. They judge people equally and dramatically, because apparently fairness needs stage direction."
Paimon tilted her head. "That sounds… weird."
"It is. But stylish."
Lumine glanced at me. "And the Archon?"
Ah.
There it was.
The opening.
The topic.
The cutie.
The burdened disaster queen.
I placed a hand over my chest, suddenly recovering twenty percent of my vitality through sheer emotional investment. "The Hydro Archon is a cutie."
Lumine stopped walking.
Nilou blinked.
Paimon stared.
Greg's tail froze.
I continued with complete sincerity. "A dramatic cutie. A smug cutie. A cutie carrying way too much weight on her shoulders while pretending the entire world is her stage and everyone else is simply lucky to witness her monologue."
Paimon slowly said, "Paimon feels like that was both praise and concern."
"It was."
Nilou's expression softened slightly. "That sounds lonely."
And there.
That was Nilou.
Straight to the heart.
I looked ahead toward the city's direction and smiled faintly. "Yeah. It is."
The others went quiet for a moment, maybe because they heard the shift in my voice. Maybe because they knew me well enough by now to notice when the joke wasn't fully a joke.
Then, naturally, I ruined it.
"Also, she is best girl number one."
Lumine's eyes narrowed.
I raised a finger. "Except for my girlfriends."
Nilou covered her mouth.
Paimon groaned. "There it is."
"Important clarification," I said. "I may be unhinged, but I am politically careful."
"Romantically reckless," Lumine muttered.
"Emotionally adventurous."
"Stupid."
"Also true."
Greg flicked his tail.
"Do not agree with her."
Tail flick.
Betrayal.
I continued anyway, because if I stopped talking every time someone judged me, I would never speak again. "Also, the judge here is a highly emotional dragon."
Paimon blinked. "A what?"
"A highly emotional dragon."
Lumine stared at me. "The judge?"
"Chief Justice, technically. Elegant. Tall. Serious. Voice like he could sentence someone to prison and make it sound like poetry. Emotionally unstable, but in a dignified way."
Nilou tilted her head. "You said dragon."
"I did."
Paimon floated closer. "Are we just ignoring that?"
"I recommend temporarily ignoring many things in Fontaine," I said. "It helps preserve brain function."
Lumine rubbed her forehead. "Am I really going to marry this dumbass?"
Nilou gently patted her shoulder. "We did say yes, though."
Paimon immediately pointed at Lumine. "It's all on you."
Greg flicked his tail in agreement.
I slowly looked at all of them. "Wow. After my dramatic explanation, I receive betrayal?"
Lumine smacked me on the head again.
I clutched my skull. "Fontaine's justice system has already failed me."
"It's working perfectly," she said.
We continued walking through the harbor, and despite the jokes, the excitement didn't leave me. Fontaine stretched around us like a promise wrapped in marble and water, and with every step, I felt the story shifting beneath my feet.
Then we saw them.
A young man stood near the harbor area, dressed like someone who had stepped out of a magic show and into real life without losing the spotlight. Beside him was a quiet girl with cat ears and a tail, her expression so calm and unreadable that she looked like she had mastered the sacred art of being done with everyone before they even began speaking.
Lyney and Lynette.
Of course.
I recognized them instantly.
Performer siblings.
Charming magician.
Deadpan assistant.
Cute cat girl detected.
Also Fatui-adjacent.
That part stayed in my head.
Because I knew the plot.
And because knowing the plot meant knowing when to shut up.
A rare skill.
Underdeveloped, but real.
The young man smiled as we approached, bright and polished in a way that felt natural without being careless. "Welcome, travelers. Judging from your appearance and the way you're looking around, I'd say this is your first time in Fontaine."
Paimon immediately perked up. "That obvious, huh?"
"A little," he said with an easy laugh. "But don't worry. Fontaine welcomes visitors from all nations. My name is Lyney. I'm a magician."
The girl beside him gave a small nod. "Lynette."
Then silence.
Paimon blinked.
"…That's it?"
Lynette looked at her. "Yes."
I leaned toward Lumine and whispered, "Deadpan cat girl detected. Fontaine already peak."
Lumine elbowed me instantly.
Pain.
Worth it.
Nilou bowed politely. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Nilou, and these are Lumine, Paimon, Shigeru, and Greg."
Greg lifted his tail from my shoulder in formal acknowledgment.
Lyney's eyes brightened with polite curiosity. "A very distinguished companion."
I nodded proudly. "Greg is our judgment department."
Lynette looked at Greg for two seconds. "He seems qualified."
Greg flicked his tail.
Accepted.
Paimon, however, had locked onto something else entirely. She floated closer to Lynette, eyes shining with curiosity. "Um… Paimon doesn't mean to be rude, but are those ears and tail real?"
"Paimon," Lumine warned.
Lynette blinked slowly. "Yes."
Paimon's eyes widened. "Whoa…"
I whispered, "Cute cat girl confirmed."
Lumine elbowed me again.
"Blondie, my ribs are under oppression."
"Good."
Lyney laughed lightly, clearly amused by the chaos already unfolding. "You all seem lively. That's good. Fontaine can be overwhelming at first, especially with the attention surrounding the prophecy and recent public discussions."
Nilou looked around, thoughtful. "There's a certain… theatrical feeling here. Even the atmosphere feels like people are waiting for something to happen."
Lyney's gaze moved to her, and his smile became genuinely appreciative. "You have a performer's awareness. Are you a dancer?"
Nilou smiled, a little surprised. "Yes. I dance at the Zubayr Theater in Sumeru."
"I thought so," Lyney said warmly. "You carry yourself with stage presence. Not just grace, but control. Like someone who understands how to hold the eye without demanding it."
Nilou's cheeks flushed lightly. "That's very kind of you."
I stepped forward immediately.
"Careful, magic boy. That's my goddess."
Nilou went redder. "Shigeru…"
Lyney blinked, then smiled like he had just been handed a new trick to enjoy. "Ah, I see. My apologies."
Lynette looked at me calmly. "Possessive."
I pointed at her. "Observant cat."
She blinked.
Then, very quietly, "Accurate."
Paimon whispered to Lumine, "Paimon likes her."
Lumine sighed. "Of course you do."
Lyney, either bravely or foolishly, continued smiling. "Since you're new arrivals, perhaps we can help. Fontaine has its own customs, transportation systems, and legal procedures. Also, if you were hoping to meet someone important, now may be a good time."
Lumine tilted her head. "Someone important?"
Lyney's smile sharpened just slightly, performer-like. "The Hydro Archon."
Paimon nearly dropped from the air. "Already?"
I looked away, pretending to be surprised.
I was not.
Lyney gestured for us to follow. "If you'll come this way, I believe you may get your audience sooner than expected."
Lumine glanced at me.
I gave her an innocent smile.
She narrowed her eyes. "You knew."
"I know many things."
"That wasn't denial."
"I know many things poorly."
"Still not denial."
Nilou smiled gently. "Let's go and see."
So we followed Lyney and Lynette through the harbor area, the Fontaine air shifting around us with every step. People began to notice Lumine. Of course they did. The legendary blonde traveler, hero of multiple nations, walking into Fontaine with a floating companion, a famous Sumeru dancer, a judgment lizard, and one pale idiot recovering from nautical defeat.
A normal arrival.
By my standards.
Then the crowd ahead stirred.
A presence swept through the area before we fully saw her.
Not power, exactly.
Performance.
The feeling of curtains rising.
The sound of an audience holding its breath.
And then she appeared.
Furina.
The Hydro Archon stood before the gathered people like she had been born under a spotlight and raised by applause. Her smile was bright, smug, theatrical, and sweet in a way that immediately made the whole harbor feel like a stage built just for her entrance.
Paimon gasped beside us. "Huh!? So… she's the Hydro Archon? But how did she know we were looking for her?"
Furina lifted her arms grandly before anyone could answer, her voice ringing across the crowd with dramatic confidence. "My dear people, rich and poor, those with cup in hand and those with nothing at all, raise your glasses in celebration! If you don't have one, then just raise your hand in lieu."
Several people in the crowd actually raised their hands.
I respected the commitment.
Furina continued, eyes shining as she turned toward us. "As you can all see, unfamiliar travelers have arrived in our nation. Come, let us make a toast in honor of this Traveler and her companions who have journeyed here from distant lands!"
Paimon looked around quickly. "Uh… is she talking about us?"
Lumine whispered, "Nobody here seems to be holding a glass…"
I whispered back, "Fontaine runs on symbolic beverages."
Furina smiled wider. "I've long heard of the turmoil and chaos you've left in your wake as you visited other nations, but I welcome you nevertheless… No, I have come to receive you personally."
Paimon looked at Lumine. "Turmoil and chaos?"
Lumine slowly turned toward me.
I raised both hands. "Why are you looking at me?"
Greg flicked his tail.
"I was only involved in maybe sixty percent."
Furina pressed onward, her voice full of theatrical pride. "Fear is for insignificant cowards. I am a god, and I will never entertain the notion of such meaningless wariness. You can rest assured, I see clearly your sincerity."
Nilou watched Furina with fascination, but also something gentler. Concern, maybe. The kind only Nilou noticed so quickly.
Of course she did.
"Of course," Furina continued, "seeking an audience with me is the most sensible thing to do. It will allow you to truly behold my power and witness my authority. Intelligent people always gather under the correct banner."
Lumine blinked slowly.
Paimon whispered, "She's… really confident."
I whispered, "Theater kid Archon."
Lumine elbowed me again.
I accepted my punishment.
"I, Focalors," Furina declared, placing one hand dramatically against her chest, "hereby welcome you to the nation of Hydro and acknowledge the value and significance of your trip. Now, you may rejoice in this!"
There was a pause.
A very Fontaine pause.
Lumine looked at Paimon. "Well, finding the Archon was easy enough…"
Paimon nodded numbly. "Yeah, Paimon still can't believe it… It feels like we've only been here for a few minutes. But the Hydro Archon's entrance was, uh… how should Paimon describe it? A little over the top?"
"A little?" I whispered.
Paimon floated forward carefully. "Ahem… Uh, Miss Hydro Archon… How did you know we were coming?"
Furina's eyes brightened with the joy of someone being handed another chance to speak. "Ah, I see. As outlanders, you inevitably lack even some of the most basic understanding. Don't forget that even the gods can be divided into the mediocre and the excellent. I suppose it's only natural for you to be awestruck by my abilities."
Paimon's mouth opened slightly.
Furina leaned into the performance even more. "You had best stop and consider… do you really have the noble qualities and etiquette necessary to communicate with a god? All it takes is a flick of my finger for me to know everything about you."
Paimon muttered, "Whoa, talk about sounding high and mighty…"
Lumine whispered, "Feels like she can't get over herself…"
Furina froze.
Only slightly.
But I saw it.
That tiny gap between performance and uncertainty.
That split-second where the smile held, but the person behind it flinched.
And my own smile faded.
Just a little.
Because there she was.
Not just Furina the dramatic.
Not just Furina the smug.
Not just Furina the cutie best girl number one except my girlfriends.
There was weight behind that smile.
A stage too large.
A role too long.
A loneliness hiding under applause.
And I knew.
I knew enough.
Furina recovered quickly, though not perfectly. "Oh? What's with these looks? Perhaps the welcoming ceremony still isn't enough? Hmm, what else should I say then?"
No one answered.
The crowd murmured.
Paimon whispered, "Uh, is she waiting for us to start talking?"
Then someone nearby gasped. "Wow, I didn't expect to see Lady Furina here. What a surprise!"
Another voice joined in. "Wait, does this mean they're the legendary blonde Traveler and her companions? How did I not notice before?"
A third person pushed closer. "Hey, what's all the commotion? Oh, is that Lady Furina? Is there some kind of drama going on?"
"Of course!" someone else said excitedly. "That's the blonde Traveler, the one all those stories are about. Lady Furina came here to personally see her… Oh, I bet this is going to be the duel of the century!"
Paimon's face dropped. "Duel?"
Furina laughed, a little too brightly. "Ahaha! Yes, but don't get too excited now. My dear believers and spectators alike tend to get quite rowdy, and despite the noise, I've come to tolerate all their ruckus."
I looked toward Lumine.
Her eyes were already sharpening.
Furina lifted her hand. "You may consider this my reward to all of you! I have determined that there will be an epic duel between myself and this traveler from another land, just as you were hoping to see!"
Paimon flailed. "Huh!? Now she wants to fight? Aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves?"
Lumine's hand moved toward her sword.
Her expression hardened.
"Fighting gods?" she said quietly. "I've got a résumé."
Mistplitter's light began to form.
I moved.
Not lazily.
Not jokingly.
Fast.
My hand closed gently around Lumine's wrist before she could fully draw, and I shook my head.
She stopped.
Paimon stopped.
Nilou's eyes widened.
Greg went still on my shoulder.
Even Lyney and Lynette seemed to register the change immediately.
Because I wasn't smiling anymore.
Not really.
"Shigeru?" Lumine asked, surprised.
I looked at her, then at Furina.
"No," I said softly.
Lumine stared at me.
I gave her wrist the faintest squeeze, then let go.
"Not this one."
That was enough.
For Lumine, it was enough.
She didn't understand yet.
But she trusted me.
So she lowered her hand.
Then I stepped forward.
The crowd murmured. Furina watched me approach, her confident smile still in place, but her eyes had changed. Curious. Guarded. Maybe even slightly confused.
Good.
Let her be confused.
Everyone expected me to say something stupid.
Everyone expected chaos.
Even my own companions probably expected me to call her "water cutie" or challenge Fontaine's entire legal system to a dance-off.
Instead, I stopped before the Hydro Archon.
And kneeled.
One knee to the ground.
Head lowered.
Hand over my chest.
The entire harbor went silent.
Not quiet.
Silent.
Paimon made a small strangled noise. "Shigeru…?"
Nilou covered her mouth, eyes wide.
Lumine stared at me like she had just witnessed a natural disaster reverse direction.
Lyney's performer smile vanished into genuine surprise.
Lynette blinked twice.
Even Greg froze on my shoulder, probably questioning whether I had been replaced by a more respectful clone.
And Furina…
Furina looked stunned.
For the first time since she appeared, the performance cracked wide enough to show the girl beneath it.
I spoke clearly.
Not loud.
Not theatrical.
Not as a joke.
"I, Shigeru," I said, voice steady, "fiancé of Mondstadt's Honorary Knight, the Sword of Liyue, Vice Commander of Inazuma's Resistance Army, Buer's Protector, and Mortal Sage of the Adepti…"
I slowly lifted my eyes to her.
"…greet thee, Her Majesty, Furina de Fontaine."
A wave of whispers moved through the crowd.
"Isn't that the chaotic one?"
"I thought he was childish…"
"Didn't he just vomit on someone's shoe earlier?"
"Wait, he's actually kneeling?"
"Her Majesty…?"
Furina stared down at me, eyes wide enough that for a moment, the smugness couldn't fully recover.
"I…" Her voice caught slightly.
Then she straightened, trying to reclaim the stage, but there was a stutter in the movement now. A flicker of uncertainty under the mask.
"W-Well," she said, lifting her chin, "it seems at least one of you understands proper etiquette before a god."
I smiled faintly.
Not teasing.
Not mocking.
Just soft enough that maybe only she could tell the difference.
"Of course."
Her gaze locked with mine.
And there it was again.
That weight.
That impossible burden hiding behind sweetness, arrogance, drama, and applause.
I knew that look.
Different shape.
Different story.
But I knew it.
The smile worn too long.
The role that became a prison.
The lonely stage.
The fear of failing people who didn't even understand what you were carrying for them.
For one second, looking at Furina felt like looking at a reflection of every version of myself I never wanted others to see.
Former.
Current.
Hidden.
Broken in ways covered by jokes.
My smile remained gentle.
But inside, my thoughts became very still.
I will save you.
Not because she asked.
Not because she trusted me.
Not because Fontaine deserved a clean story.
But because no one should have to stand alone on a stage for that long while everyone clapped for the mask and never saw the person drowning beneath it.
I lowered my head slightly.
And if that emotionally unstable dragon fails to protect you properly…
I will personally punch some sense into Neuvillette.
Respectfully.
Probably.
Mostly.
Furina watched me for another long second, still caught somewhere between surprise, pride, and something she didn't seem ready to name.
Behind me, Paimon whispered, "Paimon is scared. He's being serious."
Lumine whispered back, "I know."
Nilou's voice was softer. "He sees something."
Greg flicked his tail once.
Agreement.
I stayed kneeling before Furina de Fontaine, the harbor silent around us, the waters of the Nation of Justice gleaming behind her like a stage curtain waiting to rise.
And for once, I did not ruin the moment.
Because this time?
The performance wasn't mine.
It was hers.
And I knew better than anyone how heavy a performance could become.
__________
End of Chapter 182
Quests Completed:
*Successfully arrived in Fontaine.
* Immediately disgraced yourself by vomiting on a civilian's shoe.
*Survived public humiliation with minimal permanent damage.
*Explored Romaritime Harbor while recovering from catastrophic seasickness.
*Explained Fontaine using increasingly questionable descriptions.
*Accidentally exposed your emotional attachment toward the Hydro Archon.
*Identified Lyney and Lynette without spoiling the plot.
*Successfully resisted saying something catastrophically stupid during first contact.
*Prevented Lumine from drawing her sword against an Archon.
*Shocked the entirety of Romaritime Harbor by kneeling before Furina.
*Successfully broke through the Hydro Archon's stage persona—for one brief moment.
*Secretly accepted a new mission: Save Furina.
Rewards:
*+1 Civilian's Shoe (Permanently Traumatized)
*Public Dignity -75
*Furina's Confusion +100
*Nilou's Proud Smile (Ultra Rare)
*Lumine's Trust Restored
*Greg's Tail Flick ×1 (Respect Version)
*Lyney's Genuine Surprise
*Lynette Blink Counter +2
*Audience Silence (Legendary Drop)
*New Passive: "Knows When Not to Joke"
*Quest Marker Added: "Protect the Hydro Archon"
Achievement Unlocked
"Behind the Curtain"
-Recognize the person beneath the performance before anyone else.