There was a flash of green. A scream, or many. And then, for a moment, there was nothing. Then that nothing was filled with a vast whiteness that made him squint as he laid on a floor that seemed to expand into, well, a bright space that he couldn't quite see into.
Severus sat up and looked around, thinking that he was, perhaps, in a very sterile looking King's Cross. He thought that if he wasn't dead then the sheer brightness of everything would be hurting his eyes.
Fuck.
He was dead.
"You're not dead," a gravelly voice said, and Severus stood up, spinning around to find himself staring at a figure cloaked in the blackest cloak he had ever seen, no face was visible, however he got the distinct impression that the figure was smirking at him. Not in a scary, threatening way, though. In a giddy, excited way.
"Death?" Severus asked nervously, the figure nodded his cloaked head, "If I'm not dead, how am I speaking to you? Why am I here? Wherever here is…"
"You're almost dead. Your heartbeat and breathing are both very, very slow. But I stopped them from stopping completely, as I am able to do from time to time. You are here, in what I guess you could call Limbo, and you are talking to me, because you have choices to make. Choices that I can give you. And, whichever choice you make, I will help you continue on with," Death said.
"Why do I have choices? I was hit by the killing curse. That is meant to kill me. Why did you choose to stop it from killing me?" Severus said, he was beyond confused
"A very good friend of mine, Ignotus Peverell, wanted me to save you. You see, it is little known but the Prince family does, in fact, descend from the Peverell family. And you are one of his descendants. His favourite one, alongside the Harry Potter that Hermione once knew. He has been watching over you since the day you were born, as he does with all his children, and let me tell you, he has been begging me to let him come back to life so that he could mother you the way you deserve since the day your father found out about magic. I was very tempted to let him, however that is something that I'm not technically allowed to do. I am sorry it took you so long to have a family that actually cares about you. If I could have raised him from the dead to raise you as his own, I would have, but, well, it is very much against the rules, unfortunately," Death said, sounding rather put out and distressed by the whole situation.
"It's fine," Severus said past a lump in his throat.
"It's really not. I tried to get my brothers and sisters to agree to let me do so, but they wouldn't let me. It wasn't in your fate, or whatever. To hell with them, I say, what sort of fate is it for a child to be hurt by those that are meant to love and cherish them more than anything else in the world?" Death sounded rather like he was pouting, or trying not to cry, "But I can only do what I'm allowed to do. And technically speaking, I can stop you from dying, for a brief enough period to give you the choice to do what you want to do,"
"What I want to do?" Severus asked.
"Yes, what you want to do. You have had precious little choice in anything that has happened to you over the years. I'm not going to let you potentially die without giving you the choice to do so," Death said.
"I can choose to die?"
"Yes. That is one of your options. I can completely stop your heartbeat and breathing and send you on to the afterlife. I know that you have thought, a fair few times, of the escape of death. And if you would like to choose that option, then I will allow you to do so, and send you on to Ignotus so that he can look after you the way he has longed for your entire life. Or, I can send you back to your body, and allow them to keep you alive. Allow you the opportunity to be happy now, with your family, with Remus, and with any little ones you two may have along the way," Death said, his voice soft, gentle.
"I doubt it's really going to be happy for a while," Severus scoffed, "Mum's in labour far too soon, Hermione is with the Dark Lord, the war is still going on. And, I mean, can I even have that life after the war, with Remus. Can we even have kids? Should we? I don't know what a good parent is supposed to be like. I… I dreamt a lot what they would be like, but I don't know how to be a mum. What if I hurt them? Or let someone else hurt them? Or abandon them? What if I can't love them because I never really knew what love was?" he thought he was hyperventilating, honestly, which made no sense to him.
But then there were warm arms circling him and pulling him close to a warm body that felt like love, and hope, and home, and everything else he had needed his whole life. And his head rested on a soft shoulder as he tried to get his emotions under control, because he couldn't be seen like this.
"Ignotus, I told you not to come, that everything would be fine," Death said, definitely pouting.
"Everything isn't fine, though, is it," the man holding him said gently, rubbing Severus' back, "My baby boy needs love, and care, and gentleness, not whatever you did to set him off,"
"I thought we agreed that he was our baby boy?" Death said, still pouting.
"Not when you upset him, he's not," Ignotus said with a slight growl.
"I didn't mean to," Death whined.
Severus pulled back from the man to look between the two in confusion. Ignotus smiled at him in a way he didn't think anyone had until Minerva adopted him. The man was old, and soft, and had a twinkle in his eyes as he looked between Severus and Death, a gentle one, a kind one. One that spoke of too many emotions, too many years, and yet was still so thoroughly in love with people and the world.
"Sorry, for erm," Severus trailed off, not sure what to do or say.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Severus. You have been through far too much in your short life, it is okay to break down occasionally," Ignotus said softly, "But, Severus, child, know that we have faith in you. If you decide to go back to your family, to Remus, to your future, I have every faith that you can be happy, once all of this war stuff is over with. And I know, that you have what it takes to be a good mother, if you want to be a mother,"
Severus swallowed thickly, "How could you possibly know that?" he whispered.
"The thing about being friends with Death is that I get to see any world I want to see, any time I want to see. I have seen possible futures where you and Remus have children, whether one or more, and you are the most wonderful mother to them. You see, Severus, you may not have grown up with a mother that did what you needed her to do. But you know what you wanted as a child, what you needed. And you still know that. I know you think of times in the future, when you are all safe, and happy, and of any children you may have and how you want to raise them. I also know that above all else, you will do whatever you can to protect them, and that you do not want to hurt them, in fact you will do whatever you can to ensure that you do not hurt them, and that no one else will either," Ignotus said, taking Severus' hands gently into his own.
"That doesn't mean anything. I might hurt them, one day. And I don't think I can live with that. I can't live with that. I want that life. I want a family. I want a family with Remus. But I can't… I don't even know how to love. What is love? I don't know," Severus said, shaking his head desperately.
"Severus, you are perhaps the most loving person I know. You love so deeply, and you love even when you have been wronged so terribly. You love your friends even though many of them spent years of your life bullying you, horrendously. You love your new parents despite the fact it took them five years to get you away from your biological parents. And I know that a tiny part of you even loves your biological parents, even despite everything they did to you. I also know that you love your possible future children enough already to want them to have the best life, the life you didn't have and yet deserved, the life you wanted to have, and I know you love them enough to do whatever you can to give them that life," Ignotus said, his voice both gentle and firm, honest in ways that Severus hadn't heard in a while.
"What would I be going back to anyway? The war. Hermione being tortured by the Dark Lord. Mum and the baby… are they even okay? What if the war doesn't end? I can't… I don't know if I can keep going. What if James and Lily still die? Or anyone else? What if Remus dies? I… We have messed things up so thoroughly that we have no clue what is going to happen anymore," Severus said, defeated.
"You don't have to go back, if you don't want to. You can come home with me," Ignotus said gently.
"But if you do go back, we will be sending you back with help," Death said from next to them, and Severus looked up at him, confused.
"Help?"
"This war has gone on for too long. This war shouldn't have happened in the first place to be truthfully honest, but that is besides the point. Too many people have died for nothing, are potentially dying for nothing, being hurt for nothing. Too many families torn apart. I want this over. We all do. So I am sending help back with you, if you go back," Death said, sounding like he was grinning again.
"What help?" Severus said, raising an eyebrow sceptically.
"First of all, a ritual that you and your father can do to summon all of the horcruxes to you. Secondly, these," he pulled a dagger and a stone out of his pocket and held them out to Severus.
"A dagger, and a stone?" Severus said skeptically.
"They can both only be handled by you, or your future children. But I feel like death by dagger is boring and fitting enough for someone who has done so much damage to the world. His death will take approximately five minutes and each second of it will be excruciating, as he deserves, and there is a little added something to ensure that he can't make another horcrux at the last possible second so he will be dead for good. And the stone is so that you can talk to me and Ignotus whenever you want to, mostly Ignotus though, unfortunately, I have a lot of work to do," he sounded like he was pouting again.
"You want to talk to me?" Severus said, shocked as he looked at Ignotus.
"Of course, Severus, why wouldn't I want to talk to you? You are my favourite child. You have survived through so much, and I am so, so proud of you. And I will continue to be proud of you, whether you come home with me, or you go home to your future. I just would like to be able to walk beside you, sometimes, if you go back to your family, and that is the only way I can do so, if you want me to," Ignotus said, a bright, proud smile on his face, "It is up to you, though. Do you want to move on with me? Or do you want that life you dream of?"
"I want that life," Severus whispered, his breaths deeper than they were just a second ago, "I'm… I'm scared, though,"
"I know, baby. But it's okay. You're not alone anymore. You have your family around you to help. And you have the two of us, too. No matter what happens, we will all love you, and we will all be proud of you," Ignotus said, kissing Severus' head delicately.
"Always," Death said softly, squeezing Severus' shoulder.
"Why are you giving me this choice?" Severus asked, unsure.
"Because you deserve the chance at being happy, if you want it. And, well, this wasn't meant to be your time to go. So, it will only be your time to go, if you want it to be your time to go," Death said, "I also love you, and I don't want you to be dead yet. I want you to live your life to its fullest. I also think it would be hilarious to watch Tom's reaction to you being alive as you stabby stab him with that lovely little dagger of ours," he crooned.
Severus chuckled, "Stabby stab?"
"The problem with being immortal beings is that Death and his family have rather childish tendencies, especially when they get bored," Ignotus said, shaking his head at his friend fondly.
"Well, eternity is boring," Death said, definitely pouting.
"Indeed it is, dear," Ignotus said, rolling his eyes as he looked back at a somewhat smiling Severus, "Do you want to go back?" he asked, ever so gently.
"I… Yes," Severus said, with a nervous nod.
"You'll be okay, Severus. I promise. And we are here for you if you ever want an otherworldly chat," Ignotus said.
"We love you, and we believe in you, Severus," Death said wholeheartedly.
Severus nodded.
Ignotus let go of his hands, and smiled brightly of him, "We are proud of you, Sev. Always,"
Severus smiled at him and looked at Death, "How do I go back?"
"Simply," Death put his hand on Severus' head, it was both gentle and cool, "close your eyes and breathe, I shall send you back to your body now,"
Severus closed his eyes and breathed.