Losses… something that weighs, doesn't it?
But losses are only the sum of a weight, together with the punishment you impose on yourself.
And what can be done to stop… that weight? Not… soften it.
We pretend we don't see, or that everything has already passed. But that never suppresses the real weight.
…
Let us own our own mistakes, so we do not remain slaves to our own penance.
To stop it, all it takes is…
— — —
The sun hung once again over the boy's eyes. Burning, almost like an angel in its first contact with humanity.
"What…? Why am I at the exit of Morrow-en…?"
He thought, bringing his hand to his forehead and lightly touching the surface. His thoughts were disconnected. Only flashes crossed his mind, as if under interference.
"I'm an idiot… I ran all the way here like a suicidal maniac. It's a miracle I'm still alive. Urgh…"
He propped an elbow on the ground and slowly steadied his body.
"…I need to get back as soon as possible. Those idiots are going to end up burning my house down if I leave them alone."
…
"Uh? Why is my hand so smal—"
— It would be beautiful… if it weren't an artificial "sun." You know… our imagination takes us pretty far when we zone out like this, HAHAHAHA! I almost got caught by myself.
Before he could finish the thought, a soft voice echoed. Caerius's hand went to his still-blurred eyes, rubbing them as his vision slowly adjusted to the light of the reflectors.
— If those FAV bastards didn't keep blocking the entrance to the belt all the time, we might actually get the chance to see a real one…
A sigh escaped his lips before turning into a bright smile.
— For now, we'll have to make do with what we have. We just can't get used to it.
That face… that voice…
"…Huh? What kind of sick joke is this? I'm in Morrow-en, but…"
"No… it's impossible. Is this a dream? Did I die? What is this, punishment for my sins in life? God… can't I have peace even in death?"
— Hey, Cae! What's with that face? You've been looking like that for minutes! Hmm… I KNOW! It was the lecture my dad gave you, right? You know he hates it when we talk about this "dumb" dream of ours. You don't have to look like a kicked puppy!
The person beside Caerius stepped closer, gave him a light slap on the shoulder, and lay down next to him. Her long dark brown hair fell like a veil over both of them, spread across the ground below the belt.
The boy stared into her eyes, almost needing to confirm for himself that the situation in front of him was real. Some kind of purgatory? Hell? And yet… there was something he felt in that moment. An almost-certainty of something he had pushed aside for a long time.
— Naeris?
A single word.
— …Naeris…?
The boy repeated it. His voice failed.
That name… that face…
It shouldn't exist. Not here. Not after everything.
— Yes, Cae? I'm here.
A characteristic smile. A confirmation.
And then…
Fsh.
— …I missed you so much, little sis…
The hug was tight, firm, and tense around the girl. Casting aside every present doubt, the only thought in little Caerius's mind at that moment was to anchor himself to his most beloved loss.
— C-cae? You…
After a few seconds, the girl slowly raised her hands along her brother's back. The touch sent a nostalgic sensation through him. Even after so long without feeling it, without the warmth… it was still enough. It still filled the empty space.
She suppressed all her perplexity in that instant.
— Shhh… calm down, I'm here, okay? Breathe. What happened?
Silence stretched for a few seconds. No answer came.
— You never get like this over my dad's stupid lectures. Damn it, Cae.
The words died in Caerius's mouth. Only sniffles and tremors came from him, his face buried against his sister's shoulder.
— Haaa… okay, I get it. Stay as long as you need. You crybaby brat.
Naeris pulled the still-confused boy closer. Her hand moved from the top of his head down to the nape of his neck, patient, waiting for her brother to come back.
…
Time passed as if it had nowhere to be, stretching the moment of comfort. The reflectors above them had already dimmed their "perfect" glow. The cold, from the lack of direct heat, sent involuntary shivers through both of them.
— So… feeling better…?
…
— Yeah. Sorry about that. I… don't know what came over me.
The boy pulled away slowly, his arms still refusing to fully break the contact. The fabric of his sister's sweater was completely soaked, marking the path his face had taken before it finally let go, full of wrinkled impressions.
Caerius pulled his knees against his chest and looked around. Trash organized into separate piles. Reflectors more alive, less dead. Breathable air. Without that damn gas that had imprisoned his people. It was different, but…
"I remember this. Tsk… what a dream of…"
He refused to finish the thought.
— Urgh, look at this. It was my favorite sweater!
Naeris stood up calmly, brushing her hands over every centimeter of her clothes, removing dirt and any wrinkled marks.
— Let's head back to the city. Din's gonna be furious that we left without telling him.
A few seconds later she extended her hand toward little Caerius, who still had his eyes fixed on the memories around him.
Caerius raised his hands into the air—not toward the girl's hand, but almost as if trying to feel a density that wasn't there.
— Come on. The walk from here is long… you know that. Look, I promise I'll keep you entertained enough to wipe that gloomy look off your face.
He stared at his sister's face while she spoke. That natural expression… so genuine. His own heart raced without him knowing how to interpret the situation. Even so…
— Alright. But when we get there, I want my favorite dish for dinner.
— Hmm… let me see… would that be pasta with potato purée sauce? Or…
She placed a finger under her chin, thoughtful.
— Roast pork with vegetables?
— THAT'S IT! Roast pork with vegetables!
Fup.
Naeris's hand found the boy's still-raised one, giving him something to hold onto as she pulled him up.
— Let's go. I promise this time I won't put Nemis on kitchen duty with me. Just… don't scare me like that again. You little shit.
He couldn't hold back a small twitch at the corner of his lip, followed by an almost imperceptible sigh.
"Keep your head on straight…"
…
Tap, tap, tap.
Tap, tap, tap.
The cold night breeze accompanied them with every dragged step. The filtered air that slipped through the corners of the structural beams made the earlier heat feel less present now.
"The air is strangely clean… it's light. The ground doesn't hold heat like that either."
Caerius took a deep breath. His lungs filled without him coughing or wrinkling his nose.
— Naeris, how many hours has it been since we came out here?
he asked, increasing his speed with every step, almost running, until he ended up crashing into Naeris's back. She stopped and brought a hand to her forehead.
— Damn it, my nose!
Caerius complained, but Naeris pretended not to understand and ignored him.
— Hmm… four hours? We left pretty early, I think before lunchtime. That's my guess, anyway. It's almost nightfall.
She started walking sideways, looking at Caerius and pinching his cheek.
— What is it? Scared Din's gonna pull your ear and kick your ass?
Caerius made a pained face and turned red, clenching his teeth as the urge to sneeze took over.
— No… a… ATCHIM! Don't fuck with me! Me, scared?! Don't be an idiot! I just think that…
He stopped talking and looked up.
— Think what?
— Din hates it when we come out here. In a way, he's not wrong. I… think it'd be better if we avoided this, so…
Caerius stopped speaking when he saw Naeris's expression.
— …What's with that face?
— …Look who's talking. You, of all people, Caerius…
She touched the top of his head and rocked it back and forth.
— You're the first one to show up whenever Vallum comes up. And you're not exactly the most obedient person in the world, much less mature.
…
— You're still a kid, Cae. You don't need to think so much. Just live and enjoy your dream. Make it real. After all, I'm here too, right? It gets easier when we can share it.
She spoke, moving her hand from the top of his head down to his neck.
— Maybe you've got a little fever.
…
"Whatever's going on… maybe… it wouldn't be so bad to play along a little."
— Fever? I just haven't developed the patience to deal with you for more than thirty minutes yet.
Naeris pulled her hand back, smiling.
— Great. Now you're more "Caerius" than before. Let's keep walking. While we're at it, we can invent an excuse to make our "torture" a little lighter when we get there.
Naeris turned and started walking again. Caerius followed, but his calves burned. Kilometers already covered, and the lights still looked distant.
— I forgot how tiring this is…
Caerius rested his hands on his knees, thinking out loud too much, while Naeris kept the pace. The exhaustion seemed nonexistent for her.
— Don't complain so much. There's still at least six kilometers left. It's not that far… we'll be there soon. Just stop being a wimp until then, okay?
…
— …Wimp? Did you just call me a wimp?
— Yeah, a wimp. What, you gonna do some— hey, Caerius, what's with the rock?
Vush!
— HEY, THAT COULD KILL ME! Cae?!
Naeris dodged the small rocks Caerius threw at her as he backed away, forcing him to chase after her. The two of them continued toward Morrow-en.
Apparently the muscle pain had vanished… convenient.
"The lights are getting closer…"
Caerius looked at the distant lights. His chest still burned, but this time it wasn't just from the effort. And everything he did when he looked at her face… was smile.
— — —
Tap, tap, tap!
— Hah… hah…!
The boy was breathing heavily, as if his lungs were about to be forced out through his mouth. His lips were dry. Sweat ran down his face, accompanied by a harsh sensation of thirst. He looked a little pale.
— Hah… hah… getting called a wimp apparently worked as fuel, see? I always think one step ahead.
Naeris said, pinching Caerius's nose while laughing at him, even though she was in the same state.
— Idiot. I'm dead… but at least we made it. Barely…
He threw himself onto the ground and took a deep breath. His vision focused on a different Morrow-en. The entrance welcomed them almost with open arms.
"Welcome to Morrow-en! No matter who you are, you'll always have a second chance… or even a third!"
A small reminder next to the vivid neon screen declared.
"Was this message… always here?"
But Caerius quickly buried the question, unable to look away.
Stalls stretched out right behind the welcome structure. Each one with its own personality. Mr. Willisanx's and that cranky Norkia's were the highlights of the area—extravagant in their own exaggerated ways.
Further ahead, behind the commerce, were the houses, the alleys, the narrow streets… and Caerius couldn't stop remembering.
Those people moving back and forth. Familiar faces. That familiar smell that reminded him of afternoon coffee… a table surrounded by people, friends, family, and even acquaintances known only by name. Afternoons of wasted conversation with gossiping neighbors arguing over whatever excuse the day had given them.
— Hah… that's it. This is the kind of warm, inviting atmosphere we need right now.
Naeris took a deep breath, her chest expanding, and made a point of releasing the air slowly, as if she wanted to keep the scent. Her face turned red as she approached a basket with calmer steps.
"Don't take if you're not going to buy! Save and recycle!"
It was written on the front of the plastic-bag basket in thick, irregular scrawl. At the end:
"Not written by Norkia, thank you ♡"
— Wow, WHO could've written that? Did they run out of plastic bags or something?!
Naeris smiled while grabbing more bags than necessary, just to provoke whoever she knew was watching. She tossed a few toward Caerius, who was still on the ground, staring at some distant point.
— Are they gonna start sending reusable bags to save the turtles? …Oh no!
She huffed, walked up to Caerius, and snapped her fingers in front of his face.
— Don't start! Come on, snap out of it. If I'm gonna make that food, we need to buy some things at the stalls.
Caerius returned his attention to Naeris the exact moment she grabbed his wrist and pulled him up, pushing him forward while he awkwardly held the bags between his arms.
— You could at least be a little less rough once in a while. That's why girls like you don't do well with guys.
The last sentence came out almost like a frightened whisper. Luckily, it went unnoticed by the girl.
— Don't complain. I'm gonna use some strong seasoning today to see if I can wipe that dumb look off your face.
Tap, tap, tap.
— Let's go!
After taking a deep breath and making the first step, they finally entered the civilization of Morrow-en. Their walk was light now, without the urgency that had kept them moving before. The smell of the place contrasted with something more natural, mixed with the scent of metal and odds and ends.
— HEY, MORNIS! PASS ME THE SOLDERING IRON!
The shout mixed with the voices echoing through the air before fading.
— Damn it, damn it… where did it go?! Don't tell me that son of a bitch newbie mixed it up and switched it for a… lighter…
Even without seeing the muttering man, anyone passing by could feel the anxiety of someone thinking: "I'm so fucked…"
— I was thinking of getting a bit of rump steak, tomato, and that little pinch of oregano that already comes with salt. It'll give the flavor a nice boost!
Naeris turned around.
— What do you think, my little test subject? Hey… Caerius!
She realized she'd lost sight of him only a few seconds after he decided to look around more.
— URGH!!! My dad's gonna kill me…
…
Meanwhile…
…
The metallic smell mixed with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Voices crossed the streets between the improvised stalls, blending with the sound of scrap being moved and the clicking of keys being pressed.
— HEY, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I ALREADY TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THE THINGS SEPARATED ON THE REPAIR TABLE. THEY BELONG TO THE CUSTOMERS!!!
The voice was shouting from one of the highlight stalls on Street E.
Raised on two wooden pillars with old iron beams inside, the stall was outlined by a purple-pink neon that climbed from the base of the counter up to a crooked sign: "Norkia's Workshop: Electronics and Parts." With the name in extravagant highlight.
"I'd forgotten how tacky this is."
Caerius approached with calm steps. He stopped in front of the counter, rested one arm on it, and observed the items. Motherboards, processors, memory sticks, fuses… plus some already-repaired appliances on display.
"This motherboard… it's the same one from that grumpy old lady Clancy's computer…"
BOOM!!
A small explosion inside the stall drew the attention of a few passersby.
— Tsk… SHIT! Who in their right mind leaves the power supply switched to 220V?? KIWAN!!!
— O-oi, Miss Nork—
The boy didn't even have time to react.
— What did I tell you, huh? Always check everything before I put my hands on it. Our job here is to FIX things, not the OPPOSITE!! I could've been fried alive, YOU IDIOT!
The woman threw the fried power supply against the boy's chest. The smell of burnt wires and rising smoke reached Caerius's nostrils.
— Now go! Stop by Louise's stall and get a new power supply. Tell her to put it on the tab. Say we're out of stock. I need to have this computer ready by tomorrow morning for the old man from Street A.
— S-sorry! It won't happen again. Excuse me!!!
The boy ran off, passing behind Caerius in a hurry.
She reached out, grabbed a pack of cigarettes hanging behind a shelf, and placed one between her lips.
Psss… psss… psss.
She lit it, took a long drag, and massaged her temple.
— Urgh. Bunch of idiots.
…
— Uh?
She looked directly at Caerius after a few moments. The boy was almost freely handling the parts on display. She approached and leaned over the counter.
— What is it, Caerius? Did you lose something?
she asked through clenched teeth, the cigarette following the movement of her lips.
— Interested?
Norkia pointed at the motherboard the boy was holding.
— I was just looking, Miss Norkia. You've got a lot of stuff in your stall. I don't remember there being this much old junk.
Caerius smiled and put the part back on the table. The woman ground her teeth at hearing "junk" come out of that brat's mouth and blew a puff of smoke in his face.
— Not junk. Reclaimed technology. And yes, we've got plenty of good stuff here. The batch we get from Vallum doesn't disappoint. Even if it's infinitely inferior to what stays up there.
She crouched behind the divider. The sound of things being rummaged through, while others flew behind her. Eventually she returned with a few parts in her hands and spread them across the counter.
— The batch was late again this week. The last shipment only brought a few of these. More robust motherboards and processors with slightly more decent integrated graphics. Other than that… same as always.
Her expression followed the slow movement of her relaxing eyelids. Her lips parted into a thin line as she let out a resigned sigh.
— Sorry, kid. No new gadgets for you to drool over today.
Her hand clenched hard against the wood before relaxing when she saw a customer approaching.
— Hey, Norkia! Did you manage to fix that washing machine I left here? I can't stand that dirty-laundry smell anymore…
The man threw himself onto the counter, resting both arms and burying his face between them.
— Of course, Orresal. Just… uh…
She brought a finger to her nose and pinched it, the cigarette almost falling.
— …five minutes… I'll grab it from the other side and bring it over…
Tap, tap, tap, tap!
…
Caerius picked up one of the parts, holding it with the delicacy of a flower.
"And to think Vallum is going to cut the batch shipments from every few weeks to every few months."
He lightly pressed his shirt against his chest. His eyes burned a little before a sigh dispersed the feeling.
— Urgh… ha… haa… HA!
BAM!
Norkia brought the appliance from the other side of the stall and set it down next to its owner.
— Here it is, good as new. The problem was just a chip with a bad contact. I applied new solder and a bit of thermal paste.
The man nodded… even without understanding a single word of what the woman was saying so naturally. He pulled a few Crest notes from his pocket and completed the amount with coins.
— …Hmm… uh-huh, all good! Come back anytime… and with clean clothes!!
Norkia wiped the sweat from her forehead and sighed lightly.
— Haaa, another satisfied customer. It's nice when you can give someone their smile back just by fixing something that was already broken.
She spoke almost to herself, raised her arms above her head, and stretched. Then she turned to Caerius with an exaggerated spin and placed a hand on his shoulder.
— Well, time to head home! It's getting late and—
— I promise, Norkia. I promise I'll work hard every day so that we can have the best view from up there.
…
— Caerius…
— And when we live there, we'll be able to see the highest technology together. That's a promise.
Caerius spoke with the conviction of a thousand men, his eyes locked on Norkia's. The woman couldn't hold back a small smile. Her expression softened almost imperceptibly. The idea of someone from below managing to reach the top of technology was almost fantastical in her mind.
— …A promise, huh? Caerius… I'm very satisfied with my reclaimed technology. Even if the people up top might think it's just trash. But thank you for… carrying my dream with so much care.
Her hands moved from the boy's shoulder to his hair, lightly ruffling it with her fingertips.
— Ah, before you go…
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap!
BAM!
Norkia placed several things on the counter: high-end processors, robust motherboards, memory sticks with flashier finishes.
— These were the last and only standout products from the previous batch. To start—
— Didn't you just say everything you received was the same?
Caerius interrupted. The woman ground her teeth slightly.
— Rule number one: every individual is a potential competitor. That includes a brat like you. But now, to start…
She smiled, adjusted her glasses, and tied her dark brown hair into a ponytail before opening her cracked lips with vigor.
— These parts you see on the table are a complete kit, perfect for a snot-nosed kid your age. COMES WITH A NEXT-GEN MOTHERBOARD, SUPPORTING UP TO 64GB OF RA—
— I think it's a bit of a stretch to call it next-gen when infinitely superior technology exists. Since we only receive what—
Before Caerius could finish, she slammed a hand firmly on the table.
— SILENCE, JUST DETAILS! What matters is that my products are the ONLY QUALITY ONES ON THIS ENTIRE STREET!!!
Her other hand rose proudly to her chest as she looked around the street, checking if her competitor was listening.
— Anyway, Caerius… you can take it. It's a complete kit. Not a big deal… but I think it'll already be a big help for you chasing that dream of climbing to Vallum. Just… don't overdo it, okay?
She said, bringing a hand to the boy's forehead and giving it a light push, accompanied by a smile. She wrapped each component quickly, but with a care in her hands that was impossible not to notice.
— Here. Take it. And go straight home. There's only a few minutes left until nightfall.
She pushed the box against the boy's arms. The weight of it didn't come from the contents, but from what it meant to the woman in that moment.
— I promise I'll make it worth it, Norkia.
He turned to leave, took a few steps, then looked back over his shoulder.
— By the way… I thought you'd quit smoking.
Norkia uncrossed her arms, brought a hand to the back of her neck, raised an eyebrow, and smiled in disbelief. She stretched lightly before turning to tidy the back of the counter.
— What a scary joke, kid.
…
"Strange. I… could've sworn Norkia didn't smoke anymore…"
…
"Well, it shouldn't be anything. Better go find Naeris."
Caerius adjusted the box in his arms and left in search.
— — —
Minutes later, the sun had already gone to sleep and the moon was lifting its face. The climate in Morrow-en was cooling. A cold breeze struck Caerius's face as he grew tired of searching for his sister.
"Where's that idiot? I swear I'm gonna make her swallow this whole box when I find her."
He approached a resident who was gathering his things and putting everything inside his house, ready to settle in for the night.
— Mr. Lio, have you seen Naeris around?
Caerius asked, raising his small arms to help the man take down some clothes hanging in front of the window.
— Aaah, thank you, little Caerius. Naeris? Well, I saw her shopping at some of the stalls. Last time I saw her, she was talking to Porkinnon before heading off.
The man spoke calmly while taking the clothes from Caerius's hands.
— If you want, I can walk you halfway. It's already getting late, isn't it?
— Ah, no need! Thanks for the help, Mr. Lio. I'm gonna go before the old man grabs me by the neck and turns my skin into a rug.
Caerius turned to leave, picking up his pace a little.
— If you want, I can walk you halfway. It's already getting late, isn't it?
Caerius stopped and looked back for a moment. Mr. Lio had repeated the exact same line, with the same intonation and the same intention.
…
— No need. I'll get there faster than you can blink. See you!
Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap!
"Mr. Lio's hearing is worse than the old man's."
Silence stretched for a few moments. The small Halvorn home was already in sight.
Caerius started to get worried. His eyebrows furrowed and his arms tightened around the box.
— …where's Naeri—
FLOP!
A bag hit him square on the back of the neck. The boy stumbled forward. His hand went to the impact site, already preparing a barrage of insults.
— Why you son of a—
— Where the hell were you?!
It was Naeris. Of course.
There was no doubt. Who else would do something like that?
— …I don't know why I'm still surprised…
he muttered, while Naeris approached with one hand full of bags and the other pointing accusingly at the boy.
— I searched EVERY street looking for you! From Street A all the way to Street V! Are you an idiot?!
Her hand went from the air to Caerius's face, holding it.
— Naeris… cal—
— DON'T YOU "CALM DOWN" ME! YOU DISAPPEARED! What if something happened to you?! What if you died?!
The girl was visibly shaken. Her eyes were red, even without tears. Her other hand clenched the bag's handle tightly so she wouldn't do the same with the other.
— Nae… sis, calm down. We're home, remember? No one was going to do anything to me…
— …You idiot.
She released the boy's face and turned away, picking up the bag she had thrown and putting back the vegetables that had spilled onto the street. Her hands were visibly trembling.
Silence stretched for a few more seconds until Naeris broke it with a sigh.
— I'm sorry. I got carried away. I was worried. Just… don't do that again…
The FAV could show up at any moment.
…
— Pffff… the FAV? Have you lost it? As if they'd come down here in their vests just to patrol around.
— …
Naeris answered only with an unsettling silence. She stood up and stared at the boy for a few more seconds…
Almost as if she wanted to say something, but…
— Let's go. The door needs to be opened.
She started walking again. Caerius followed her pace. The distance between them was considerable. His mind stayed absorbed in his sister's reaction.
"…The door needs to be… opened?"
He repeated the phrase in his own mind, almost testing the flavor of each word. He couldn't understand what it was supposed to mean, much less why someone like Naeris would say it with such a… serious tone.
Caerius sped up and got close enough to place his hands on the girl's shoulders.
— Hey, Nae… what did you mean by "The door needs to be opened"?
When he realized it, Naeris had stopped in front of a house.
She turned her head and, with the same smile from when he woke up, said:
— The door to our house, you idiot. Come on, let's go…
Tap, tap, tap…
Toc, toc.
No one answered. No one came. So Naeris opened the door herself.
— Old man Din must be asleep. We got lucky this time.
…
— Cae?
…
— Aren't you coming?
One look. Just one.
— …Of course. You first. I'm right behind you.
— Don't take too long. It's cold out here…
Naeris stepped into the room and disappeared from the boy's sight into the dark corners of the house, muttering something as if she were looking for a light. Despite everything, it was still Naeris. It was still…
…
Caerius…
…come back.