March 7th put her hands on her hips, speaking righteously. "How much is left in the Express Fund? How much pocket money per month? You're still young—at the prime age for hard work! Don't waste time resting—tomorrow you're doing chores with this lady!"
[I'm seriously scared March 7th is about to say, "How can you sleep at your age?"]
[I thought she was actually going to say it.]
—
Stelle propped her chin with one hand. "Why are you suddenly so diligent? You're not March 7th! Who are you? What did you do with March 7th?"
"It's not like that!" March 7th gave an awkward laugh. "The thing is… the conductor asked me to clean the cargo car tomorrow. But it's pitch black in there, and there are always these weird noises. It gives me the creeps… I wanted someone to come with me…"
Stelle shook her head. "But tomorrow's the live broadcast of the Mobile Ball Tournament. I already promised Uncle Yang we'd watch it together."
Seeing Stelle's firm attitude, March 7th began to think.
How can I convince Stelle to come with me?
"There might be tons of forgotten treasures in the cargo car!"
Whoosh.
Stelle was already standing at the door. "Let's go!"
[Please don't tempt the Trailblazer—you'll find the Trailblazer can't resist temptation at all!]
[Actually, they struck first.]
[Very on-brand for Stelle. Wait—does Stelle even have a character? Or is her character just 'universal protagonist'?]
—
After a hard day's chores, March 7th decided to treat Stelle to a cup of milk tea.
She pulled out her phone and started browsing drinks.
[Too many things to roast here, hey!]
[Isn't the Astral Express floating in space? Has Honkai: Star Rail's delivery service gotten this competitive?]
[I never imagined you could order takeout. Does the fuel cost even break even?]
After fiddling for a while, March 7th looked helplessly at her phone. "One less-ice Fuel Drink, one full-sugar Love at First Sight. Ugh—the Oh-Yeah-Puff-Puff mobile milk tea flagship's delivery service is way too cunning. Even maxing out the add-ons, we're still short the price of one milk tea to meet the minimum order."
[Wait a second—did something weird just flash by?]
[I remember Fuel Drink is… that thing, right?]
[It's all MiHoYo's own IP—what are you even worried about?]
—
At that moment, Stelle suggested, "Why not just go to the store and buy it? That delivery milk tea ship isn't far from us right now."
"No way! The Express rarely comes into their delivery range. Sometimes you just want that experience—lounging comfortably on the sofa, and whoosh, whatever you want shows up right in your hand."
March 7th had a sudden idea. "Looks like we need someone to help make up the order."
Her gaze flicked back and forth between Dan Heng and Himeko. "Better go with Teacher Dan Heng."
With that, the two approached Dan Heng. "Look, look—they say drinking this 'Mi Niang Yogurt Cow Milk Tea' gives a massive stat boost!"
Dan Heng frowned slightly. "What kind of boost? Blood sugar?"
In the end, Dan Heng let out a breath. "One cup, then."
[Teacher Dan Heng really spoils these two.]
[Of course—he treasures his friends.]
[You could tell even back in the Dan Feng era.]
[Teacher Dan Heng is just too good.]
—
Finally, Stelle saved up enough Express Fund!
With Pom-Pom's help, she finally got her own bathroom!
Stelle looked at the oversized bathtub, feeling refreshed. Lying in the tub, she began humming little tunes.
Firefly's signature BGM—"Water Dragon Chant," "If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking," "nightlow," "moon halo"…
[Gotta admit, it's actually pretty nice.]
[Yeah, it really is nice.]
[Firefly: Please pay the licensing fee.]
[Whatever you do, don't let Dan Heng hear—or he'll start flooding the ocean again.]
[She's still not over Penacony!]
[Damn it! The last lesson is still chasing me!]
[What's that last one? I can't find it online.]
[It's foreshadowing.]
[Foreshadowing? What foreshadowing?]
—
"Hello, Shut Up. Delivery robot 'Fried Rice Genius No. 123' is very unhappy to serve you."
Shut Up glanced at the small robot, then turned to Pom-Pom. "Beloved conductor, why is there a… fellow pot-lid-head colleague on the train? Has everyone gotten tired of my cooking?"
Pom-Pom spread his hands. "The conductor is surprised too, Pom. Lady Herta sent him over—said he should stay here for a while for business exchange, as thanks for Stelle helping test Simulated Universe."
The delivery robot suddenly spoke. "Retrieving: Lady Herta's instructions.
Playback: Let your dozen-or-so Amber Era–old outdated catering robots enjoy retirement already. Why not try the space station's housekeeping robots? If they're good, have Asta send you one."
Shut Up: "I appreciate Miss Herta's kindness, but I'm far from retirement age. I can still continue providing 'high-quality' dining service to the Nameless."
The delivery robot paused. "Activating subtext translator: Old thing, time to step aside."
"Oh, you're really direct!"
Pom-Pom stomped his foot. "That can't possibly be Lady Herta's subtext, right? Fried Rice Genius No. 123 is forbidden from provoking the Astral Express's head of catering!"
[Pom-Pom is surprisingly protective.]
[Is that how you use 'protective of one's own'?]
[With Pom-Pom's age and seniority, it's not like it matters anyway.]
—
Shut Up turned to Pom-Pom. "No problem, beloved conductor. I won't stoop to the level of an unreasonable pot-lid-head.
We both understand what's truly valuable isn't hardware—it's decades of consistent work accumulating grease in the belly and humor in the mind.
Just like right now: grease and humor are homophones—quite amusing."
Pom-Pom looked speechless. "You're at it again?"
"Hahaha!" The delivery robot suddenly burst into laughter. "Hilarious: hahaha… Shut Up, senpai, your humor has me rolling!"
A question mark popped above Pom-Pom's head. "Huh? You guys actually like these dad jokes?"
The delivery robot's attitude flipped 180 degrees from before. "Shut Up-senpai, you are the true genius. Please allow me to apologize for my earlier rudeness.
I failed to recognize true jade despite having eyes—though as a catering robot, I may not actually have eyes."
Shut Up encouraged him. "That joke still needs work. Keep practicing."
Pom-Pom half-opened his eyes at Shut Up. "You're actually critiquing now?"
"No problem. During the business exchange period, Fried Rice Genius No. 123 will follow Shut Up-senpai closely to study the art of controversial humor."
(The subtitles deliberately crossed out "Genius" to highlight the delivery robot's attitude shift.)
Pom-Pom was helpless. He lowered his head. "I have so many things I want to roast, but never mind, Pom… At least the two of them can get along peacefully. That's a good thing, Pom~"
[Hahaha, can this robot still be used after going back to the space station?]
[I'm scared this little robot's gonna get marinated in flavor.]
[Wonder if we'll get space station plot later—I wanna see what happens when this robot goes back.]
[Shut Up's become a master now.]
—
At this moment, another passenger joined the Astral Express.
After finishing work, Fried Rice No. 123 would always go to Shut Up's side to humbly ask for guidance.
Each time, it would make the mechanical duo burst into laughter.
The rest of the Express crew could only treat it as normal by now.
One day, after chores were done.
Pom-Pom stormed over to the group, cheeks puffed in anger.
"Who was on duty today? Why is there so much water on the floor? I almost slipped just now, Pom!"
Dan Heng looked apologetic. "Sorry—I had a sudden idea to use Cloud Chant Technique to clear dust from the floor, but I didn't control the force properly. Sorry for the trouble."
"Oh… so that's what happened, Pom…" Seeing it was Dan Heng who messed up, Pom-Pom's attitude immediately softened. "Then the conductor won't blame you. Treat it as passenger duty—but please clean up the standing water on the floor."
March 7th shook her head with a sigh. "It's almost dinner time, and now you have to clean up all this water. Poor thing, Teacher Dan Heng."
Stelle suddenly had an idea. "Want to try using Cloud Chant Technique to clean up the water?"
"I'd rather not—if it fails again, the whole train's gonna turn into a water car, Pom." Pom-Pom quickly interrupted the dangerous thought.
But Stelle's suggestion actually sparked something in Dan Heng.
He pondered how exactly to proceed.
Finally, he nodded solemnly. "Looks like I'll have to try Cloud Chant Technique again…"
"Hey hey hey—be careful, Dan Heng! The conductor's really gonna get mad."
"Cave Heaven Concealed Moon, Azure Dragon Cleanses the World."
"Ohhh, it's heating up." Stelle excitedly clapped her hands.
Pom-Pom reached out to stop him. "Nooo, Dan Heng passenger!"
Clear water moved like an extension of his arm, silk-like draping over the floor, lifting dust and grime, and channeling it back into the bucket.
Everyone who saw it was stunned. "It… actually worked?"
"Mm." Dan Heng nodded. "I'm gradually getting the hang of it. From now on I can use this to clean too."
Pom-Pom jumped up in panic. "Absolutely not allowed anymore, Pom!"
[Isn't this also a form of Trailblazing?]
[Teacher Dan Heng actually has this mischievous side too.]
[He's got cold humor—sometimes he just likes to troll a little.]
—
After dinner, several people sat on the parlor sofa, enjoying post-meal relaxation.
March 7th was bored and surfing the net.
Suddenly she saw a comment and read it aloud. "'Still believing in academic authority, huh? Herta's just a plagiarizing little thief, and he's only after grant money.
Imaginary numbers? Total scam. Ever seen a tree fork? Ever seen a tree leaf? Actually the universe is flat—it's one big imaginary pancake!'"
March 7th clenched her fist. "Ugh, Dan Heng! This guy's commenting like that on your science post. If it were me, I'd roast him hard."
Welt Yang advised from the side. "Even so, stay calm. Just explain the reasoning clearly. If he keeps being unreasonable, no need to engage further."
Dan Heng thought for a moment. "How about this."
He replied in the comments: "Online communication can be easily misunderstood. How about we meet offline for tea? I can explain the Sea of Trees theory to you in person."
A few seconds later, the other party sent him a private message.
Dan Heng looked puzzled after reading it. "I just wanted to explain things face-to-face—why is he apologizing now?"
March 7th forced a smile. "Your profile picture is a photo of you practicing with a spear. Anyone would be scared."
[This is called taking it offline for real!]
[Hahaha, straightforward Dan Heng.]
[I get it—this segment is everyone taking turns being the daily-life protagonist!]
[Haha, looking forward to Old Yang's turn.]
[Daily life really is hilarious.]
[Feels like this whole Express family is super weird, but somehow they just click—and it's really heartwarming.]
[It's all Aha's doing!]
—
Late at night.
March 7th stood alone at the bar, looking around.
From the corner of her eye she caught something. Turning her head—Dan Heng?
"Dan Heng! You scared me—why are you sneaking around? Super stealthy vibes…"
March 7th seemed to realize something. "Wait—is it? Sneaking in for midnight snacks? Come on, what do you want to eat? I'll join you—hehe, don't worry, I won't tell anyone."
Dan Heng shook his head. "No—I'm looking for something. I have to find Himeko's creative dish recipe before tomorrow."
He glanced at the bar and spotted a recipe book on one of the stools inside. "Found it—it's right here."
March 7th broke into a cold sweat. "Ah… Himeko's planning to pioneer again on the culinary path?"
"Exactly." Dan Heng let out a heavy breath. "And according to the conductor's intel, she plans to put it into practice at tomorrow's dinner."
He opened the creative recipe book. "Deep-fried watermelon sticks, stir-fried swan silk risotto, confit coffee bean duck leg…"
[As expected of Himeko—only she could connect these words.]
[Wait—is this even food anymore?]
[Super niche dish names.]
[I have a bad feeling about this!]
[Pom-Pom did his best.]
—
March 7th shook her head like a rattle. "We have to stop her!"
Dan Heng looked at the recipe book in his hand. "A recipe like this is better off disappearing from the world. Right or wrong—I'll bear it alone!"
"Teacher Dan Heng! So heroic… We can only pray Himeko-neesan has a short memory!"
[Hahaha—eating feels like going to fight a Lord Ravager.]
[Feels like fighting Phantylia would actually be easier than eating one of Himeko's meals.]
—
That day.
Following the strange sensation crawling up her spine, Stelle tracked the source of the eerie aura.
A creepy doll was staring at her.
And the doll was none other than a Sparkle doll.
But Stelle thought—this thing could not only be used for explosions, but also for chores, right?
"By the way, who's the chore captain this week? Oh right—it's Uncle Yang!"
[This thing really isn't scared of exploding?]
[Wait—how is there another one? Did Sparkle board the train?]
[Probably snuck it onto March 7th at some point when no one was looking.]
[Oh, now I get it.]
[Wait—do we really explain everything with March 7th?]
[Theoretically, yeah—March 7th can handle it.]
[Yay—finally Old Yang's turn.]
—
At that moment, Welt Yang was searching everywhere for something.
Seeing this, March 7th sneaked up behind him. "Hey, Uncle Yang—what are you playing at?"
Welt Yang adjusted his glasses, expression grave. "March, perfect timing. I woke up this morning and couldn't find my glasses. Have any of you seen them somewhere?"