Jay-Jay's POV
"How are you?" Dr. Claudia greeted me.
I didn't move from where I stood. I was staring at Kuya as if he had betrayed me.
"Sit down first, kid," Tiger ordered.
I tried to turn around to approach the door, but Tiger quickly blocked my way. He forced a smile, as if silently apologizing because he had no choice.
I flinched when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I immediately looked to see who it was and saw Kuya's serious face staring back at me.
"Sit down, Jay," he ordered and gently pulled me.
Even though I didn't want to, I obeyed him. I bit my lower lip while keeping my head down, staring at the floor. I sat in front of the doctor. Even without looking at her, I knew I knew she pitied me deeply.
My hands were resting on my thighs, They were shaking, so I clenched them into fists—to hide it and to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall because of the heavy feeling in my chest.
Why did I feel so cheated?
I had no fight left. There was nothing I could do. No way to escape. No one to defend me from Kuya. I never thought he would do this.I thought he understood how I felt—that's why he kept me away.
I was angry at myself. I didn't want to do this, but I knew he would force me, and I couldn't think of any excuse. I couldn't even fight for what I wanted.
What am I supposed to do?
"Angelo, we really shouldn't be doing this," the doctor told Kuya.
"She managed to remember something from her past. So what if she tries again?" Kuya insisted.
"The child is scared."
"She's always afraid. But she needs to do this."
I finally broke down in tears. I couldn't stop myself because there was nothing else I could do. I felt like a puppet controlled by the hands playing with me. I was suffocated.
After remembering what I did to Aries, I no longer wanted to remember anything else. What if what I did was even worse than that? What if I actually hurt someone beyond repair? I might not be able to handle it. I might completely lose my mind.
"I-I don't want to," I whispered so softly that only I could hear it.
But I knew the doctor heard me. She held my hand, and I glanced up at her. She smiled at me as if telling me to trust her.
How? When she couldn't even stand up to Kuya?
"Angelo…" she called my cousin. "It would be better if you give us some space and privacy."
Kuya Angelo stared at her, as if studying whether she had any hidden intentions. Luckily, the doctor knew how to convince him. She didn't break eye contact.
"This is part of the consultation," the doctor added. Only then did Kuya look away. He pointed toward the room where I had slept earlier.
Dr. Claudia held my hand and gently invited me to go inside the room. I followed her. As soon as we entered, I noticed Kuya trying to follow us, but the door closed quickly, leaving him outside.
"Sit down," the Doctor said softly, pointing to the edge of the bed. I did as she said, and she sat beside me like we were just two friends in this room.
"We're not going to do what Angelo wants. Don't worry, I won't force you to remember anything." She smiled at me. "Just tell me whatever you want to say."
I stared at her. I originally planned to just keep my mouth shut the entire time, but for some reason, my tears suddenly started flowing, and I began to cry. She immediately hugged me.
I hated what I was feeling.
"It's okay to cry."
But I wasn't okay. How long would I feel this way? I just wanted a normal life, even just for now. I still wanted to enjoy my high school life. Even just for a little while. Even just this year. I wanted to be free from my past. From the lies surrounding me. From the control over me.
I wanted to breathe without carrying any problems on my shoulders.
But why was that being denied to me? Why?
"I'm so tired."
Her embrace tightened. "I'll tell you this—not as a doctor, but as a friend and someone going through struggles too," she said with a deep breath. "It's normal to feel tired, especially when nothing changes no matter what you do. It's normal to feel that way when things keep repeating. It's perfectly normal. You have every right to feel that way."
I pulled away and faced her. "It's hard to keep going when I don't know what I'm facing. It's exhausting. I'm okay not remembering my past—why does it have to come back to me?"
She wiped my tears. "It may feel better not to remember the pain of the past, but how else will you learn from it?"
I didn't understand.
What was I supposed to learn from what happened to me? From what I did to Aries? From those terrifying memories? All I felt was guilt, and now I had to keep running away because I didn't want to hurt anyone else.
What about the other things I couldn't remember? What would those teach me? It was like she understood my thoughts. She smiled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"You're too young to go through all this. But life doesn't make us suffer for no reason. We are meant to be hurt—not just to feel pain, but also to learn from it."
I shook my head. Her words only made me feel more burdened.
"You don't understand."
"What about you? Do you completely understand yourself?"
Her question hit me like a slap. Silence was my only response. Do I even really understand myself?
I had to admit that I didn't. All I knew was that I was struggling. And it was the memories from my past that were making me suffer. All I wanted was for those memories to disappear. For all the pain from them to vanish.
"You don't understand yourself because you admit you don't know what you're facing. That's because you're trying to bury your past, thinking it's for the best—but it's not. Running away from your problems has never been the solution."
I knew what she was doing. She was trying to convince me to do what Kuya wanted. I thought she was on my side, but it seemed they were just the same. They were just slowly wearing me down.
"You can move forward from your past. But you can only do that if you let go of it. And sometimes, to let go, you need to find where it all started—the point where everything began. And there you'll truly understand what you're facing."
Is that really the only way? Was there no other option? Did I really have to face everything I was running away from?
"I'm scared," I whispered, but she still heard me.
"Fear will continue to make things harder for you." She held both my hands. "If you really can't do it, it's okay—but believe me, it will only get harder especially now that your memories are slowly coming back. It's better to be prepared."
I bit my lower lip, but it didn't stop me from crying. She hugged me again, and this time, I hugged her back.
There was something different about the way she comforted me. It felt like we were feeling the same thing. Maybe this is how psychiatrists are—they make their patients feel like they're not alone or different.
But her actions went deeper than just being a doctor and a patient. It felt like she was a friend I could always lean on, even though this was the first time we had a proper conversation. She didn't leave my side until she was sure I was okay.
She helped me fix myself up. She even combed my hair. Suddenly, I felt like I had an older sister. So this is what it feels like to have an Ate.
"Can I ask a question?"
"What is it?"
"What's your relationship with Ci-N Peralta?" I asked, and I heard her soft laugh.
"He's your classmate, right?" I nodded weakly in response.
"We're cousins."
"I knew it. Are all the Peraltas related to each other?"
"Not all of them, I think. But it's easy to tell if a Peralta is part of the family. If they're in the medical field, they're automatically a relative. It runs in the blood," she explained, and I couldn't help but be amazed.
The entire Peralta clan really was in the same field. I suddenly remembered that Ci-N actually wanted to become a pilot. How could he do that when his whole family is telling him that he had to follow in their footsteps?
"Has no one in your family chosen a different profession?" I asked, hoping that Ci-N wasn't the only one going against the grain. You never know, right?
"There was my dad. He became a businessman, but it didn't turn out well," she answered, and I could feel the sadness in her voice. It seemed like I had touched on a sensitive family issue.
"Are you close with Ci-N?" I changed the subject.
She chuckled slightly. "Not really, but I do like him. He's making the most of his childhood."
I laughed softly, too. Then I started asking her more questions about Ci-N, and she answered them warmly. At one point, she mentioned the Batang Kumag's siblings, but she quickly took it back. It seemed like even she wasn't fond of them.
We talked for hours. She even mentioned how she met Kuya Angelo—they were batchmates, and he was also classmates with Ma'am Cindy. But she didn't give many details, as if there was something she was avoiding mentioning.
Our conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door from Kuya Angelo. She had no choice but to leave the room and leave me to rest.
I took the chance to change into my home clothes.
When I stepped out of the room, Dr. Claudia and Tiger were already saying their goodbyes. They said they had to leave. I followed them to the door, but since I was still mad at Kuya, I decided to leave with them too. My cousin just watched me, assuming I was only escorting the guests to the elevator and would come right back. That's on you.
I waved at Dr. Claudia and Tiger before the elevator doors fully closed. It was a bit surprising that PPAP was really here too. He looked so serious, far from his usual playful grin back at Kingsground. His style hadn't changed though. I was this close to humming "I have a pen… I have an apple…"
I walked back once they were out of sight, but I didn't return to Kuya's unit. I went to the unit of the King of the Snakes instead. Hopefully, they had food.
I rang the doorbell repeatedly. I didn't know the password for their keypad lock, so I had to wait for someone to open the door for me. Thankfully, I didn't wait long. The door opened, revealing Keigan's face—with one lens of his glasses already cracked.
What happened?
He stared at me curiously, as if waiting for me to speak.
"H-Hi, is Keifer here?" I asked, and he looked at me from head to toe.
I suddenly felt self-conscious because I was only wearing shorts and a T-shirt—very much home clothes.
"He went out to buy food," he replied. "You can wait for him inside if you want."
I quickly nodded. That was exactly what I intended to do. I wasn't going back to Kuya Angelo's unit. Let him wait or look for me for nothing.
Good luck with that.
He let me in and pointed to their expensive-looking sofa so I could sit down. Their unit was quite different from Kuya's. I couldn't tell if it was the design or the placement of the appliances. The color scheme was darker, unlike Kuya's place, which, even though it had a very masculine feel, still had some life to it.
I sat down and looked around. I noticed a glass and some clutter on their dining table. It looked like someone had been eating while reading or tearing up some paper.
"Do you want anything to drink?" he asked.
I didn't even get to answer before he was already heading towards the kitchen. I didn't complain, thinking he genuinely wanted to offer me something while I waited for his brother.
Honestly, I couldn't help but be puzzled by his behavior. It was so different from the way he acted toward me this morning. I remembered the words he had said, and suddenly I felt self-conscious again.
I watched him from where I was seated. Could I really be his condition? Keifer had mentioned we had some similarities in our situations. Could it really be possible that we were exactly alike? Could he have also experienced something in his past that he couldn't remember? Did he also change when he saw blood?
What exactly was our condition?
I quickly looked away when he suddenly turned toward me. I didn't want him to think I was watching him. That would be so creepy.
After a while, he finished. He walked over to me, placed the glass of juice in front of me, before sitting down on the sofa across from me.
"Keifer might be on his way home. Go ahead and drink."
I nodded and thanked him. I stared at the juice for a second because I thought I noticed something, but I brushed it off since the person who made it was watching me. I didn't want him to think I was picky.
Whatever it was, it would just end up in my stomach anyway.
I drank it. There was nothing wrong except for a strange aftertaste. I knew I was drinking grape juice, but there was something in the flavor I couldn't quite explain. I only drank a little because of it.
"You don't like it?" he asked, his voice tinged with sadness.
I felt guilty, so I immediately brought the glass back to my lips and finished the rest of the juice. Even though I wasn't sure about the taste anymore, I drank it all so his effort wouldn't go to waste.
I let out a small burp after emptying the glass. He smiled sweetly at me before standing up and excusing himself to clean up the dining table. I nodded and let him be.
Minutes passed, and I started feeling something strange in my stomach. It was churning from the inside. I tried to figure out why. I knew I wasn't hungry or needed to use the bathroom.
Is it bad to drink juice on an empty stomach?
As the minutes passed, the cramp intensified. I subtly rubbed my belly, hoping the pain would go away. But with every passing minute, my stomach hurt even more. I was starting to sweat too.
I glanced at Keigan, but his back was turned to me and he seemed to be writing something.
I instinctively lay down on the sofa because of the pain. I was growing weaker, and my breathing was getting heavier. I felt like throwing up. There was something wrong with this stomach pain. This wasn't normal.
I needed to go back to Kuya's unit. It would be embarrassing if I ended up writhing in pain here. I could hide from Kuya Angelo later.
I tried to stand up, but I immediately sat back down as the pain intensified. I was so weak that I couldn't even sit properly. As embarrassing as it was, I knew I needed to ask for help.
"K-Keigan," I called out to Keifer's brother. "Can you help me?"
I didn't hear a response, but I saw him walk over in front of me, holding a notebook with a few torn pieces of paper.
"Can you please call my cousin? He's just in the next unit," I pleaded.
He raised the notebook and wrote on it. "The effect is faster when you put in more," he said, then continued writing.
Put in more… where?
My eyes automatically went to the glass I had drunk from. Damn it… I knew it! That's why there was something odd about the taste of that drink.
"What… what did you put in it?" I groaned weakly because of the stomach pain.
"Glue," he answered casually.
What? Do I look like a piece of paper that needs glue?
I was now using both my hands and arms to try and ease the pain in my stomach. My soft groans slowly turned into quiet cries. The pain grew worse, and I couldn't stop myself from writhing.
I wanted to get angry at him, but I couldn't even get the words out because the pain was overwhelming. I desperately wanted to vomit, but nothing would come out of my throat.
I didn't know who to call for help. I was scared of what might happen to me if I just waited for the stomach pain to subside.
I needed to help myself. I let myself slide off the sofa, knowing I couldn't stand up. I'd have to crawl.
But before I could move, I heard a door open. I turned to look and saw a crying Keiren. He was also clutching his stomach, and after just a few steps, he collapsed on his own.
"Kuya… My stomach hurts!" he cried.
I looked at Keigan, hoping he would help his brother, but instead, he just wrote on his paper again.
"It's only starting to take effect now," he wrote.
Even his own brother?
My eyes widened. What the hell is wrong with him? He even made his own little brother drink glue? What does he plan to do to us?
Keiren's crying grew louder. Worry consumed me. His young body might not be able to handle the pain. If I, who was older than him, was already this weak, how much worse must it be for him?
"Kuya!" he pleaded.
Despite my weakness, I forced myself to crawl toward him. Tears fell from my eyes because every movement made the pain worse. I was already screaming, but I needed to make sure Keiren was okay.
But I couldn't even reach him—not even the tips of my fingers. All I could do was cry with him. I prayed silently that someone would come and find us.
Keifer, please… get here already!
I could barely move. Even breathing was making my stomach hurt more. I couldn't hear Keiren's crying as clearly anymore, and that scared me even more. If this went on any longer, something terrible might happen to him.
My fear eased a little when I finally heard the front door open and Keifer's panicked voice filled the room.
"What happened?" he asked, clearly alarmed.
I saw his confusion, unsure of who to approach first. I immediately gestured toward his brother out of worry.
"Keiren… check on him," I sobbed, my voice breaking.
He did as I asked, and I heard him calling his brother's name. Just like me, Keiren didn't respond. I prayed he hadn't lost consciousness.
Keifer lifted his brother and then moved toward me.
"Hold on to me, Jay. I'm taking you both to the hospital," he said, fear and worry evident in his voice.
I couldn't move anymore, but I didn't want to be a burden to him. As much as I wanted to stay behind, I knew he wouldn't agree. I gathered whatever strength I had left, clung to him, and forced myself to stand up. I cried out in pain, the effort making the agony even worse.
I matched his steps as he walked toward the door and out. He briefly let go of me to open the door. I held onto him tightly, gripping even harder with every step we took. I didn't want to slow him down or be a hassle.
But despite my best efforts, my strength gave out, and I slipped away from him.
I saw Keifer fall to his knees, still holding his brother. His panic grew as he tried to figure out who to help first.
I sobbed—not just from the pain but from my frustration. I couldn't do anything in this situation. I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't want to make things harder for him. He needed to take his brother to the hospital, and I didn't want to slow them down.
"S-Sorry," I cried weakly.
"No. No. Don't apologize," he said firmly as he approached me and then turned his back. "I'll carry you."
He took my hand and tried to pull me up onto his back. I did my best to hold on and position myself properly. Then he bent down to lift his brother again. I clung to him tightly, even though my body was completely weak.
He managed to carry us both into the elevator. He set us down briefly to catch his breath and took out his phone to call for help. I couldn't clearly hear what he was saying anymore, but it seemed like he was calling for an ambulance.
"That'll take too long!" he shouted, his frustration evident.
"T-Take Keiren first," I whispered, but he still heard me.
"No. I'm not choosing who to take first. I'm taking you both to the hospital together," he insisted.
So stubborn.
I admired him. His strength and determination were something to envy. He would do everything he could for us. He wouldn't pick one over the other.
If only I were strong too, I could help him. If only I could do something to lessen his burden. If only I could reach out and help.
The elevator bell rang, signaling that we had reached our floor. Keifer was about to lift me again when the doors opened, and Kuya Angelo's sharp curse greeted us. He immediately lifted me and carried me out of the elevator.
It seems my prayers have been answered.