Inside the Mental Realm
Akio spent the entire afternoon talking.
Everyone else spent the entire afternoon listening.
"So, nephew, now you finally understand how incredible your great-uncle was, right?" Akio declared proudly. "Don't listen to all those stories from your elders. Every last one of them is biased because I used to keep them in line when we were kids. And by 'keep them in line,' I mean taking on all of them at once."
His nephew chuckled.
"We were kids back then. Besides, didn't I always respect you later on?"
Akio narrowed his eyes.
"You still weren't as loyal as Mito. She was on my side from day one."
Mito smiled warmly.
"Grandfather once told me that when I was born, you were so overwhelmed you cried all night."
Akio's face darkened.
Never managing to punch his older brother even once remained one of life's great disappointments.
His nephew looked thoughtful.
"Really? I remember you holding Mito for about two seconds before handing her back and walking away. I thought you were disappointed I'd had a daughter."
"That wasn't disappointment. That was emotional overload."
Akio sighed dramatically.
"Anyway, enough ancient history. Let's talk about something cheerful. The future, maybe?"
Tobirama shook his head.
"The old stories are more interesting. You still haven't explained why you disappeared after your duel with Lady Chiri. You spent years developing some secret technique. Did it ever work?"
"Of course it did. Did you forget my Shuriken Substitution Technique?"
Akio grinned.
"As for why I vanished... I was an eleven-year-old boy. A pretty girl showed up, and I got a crush."
Several heads turned toward Chiri.
"The Uchiha were terrifyingly strong, so I figured I needed a trump card. Unfortunately, the technique wasn't nearly as powerful as I'd imagined. By the time I perfected it, Chiri was already gone."
Tobirama and Mito exchanged surprised glances.
They had suspected as much for years.
They simply hadn't expected him to admit it so casually.
Akio, meanwhile, had long since stopped caring about preserving his dignity.
At a hundred-plus years old, embarrassment was a luxury.
Still, he couldn't help sneaking a glance toward Chiri to gauge her reaction.
Her expression remained calm.
Then, after a moment, the corner of her mouth lifted slightly.
"Akio," she said, "you're technically going through puberty again."
Akio froze.
Before he could think of a response, information from the outside world reached him, leaving him caught between laughter and despair.
"Chiri, the Uchiha who arrived after you, Madara is Tajima Uchiha's son. Tajima was born before you died, right?"
She nodded.
"He was. I was sixteen when he was born. I even held him once."
She paused.
"So the Madara you keep talking about is Tajima's son."
"Exactly."
Akio snapped his fingers.
"When you get the chance, go introduce yourself. Tell him you're practically family and ask if he knows a way to transfer ocular power. If he doesn't, I'll think of something else."
"I really don't think"
"Ask anyway."
Akio waved her off.
"My consciousness needs to get back outside before something catastrophic happens."
Two Minutes Earlier
Kushina's House
Naruto had spent the morning fighting in the Chūnin Exams and the afternoon helping clear debris from the destroyed western district.
By the time he got home, he was exhausted.
"I'm home!"
After shouting toward the kitchen, he sprinted straight to his room and launched himself toward his bed.
Halfway through the jump, horror struck.
There was already a kid sleeping in it.
Braking in midair was impossible.
Naruto desperately twisted his body to avoid repeating that infamous accident involving himself and Sasuke.
Just as he was about to land
The sleeping boy casually raised a leg and kicked him.
THUD.
Naruto hit the wall hard enough to leave an impression.
After recovering, he saw that the kid was still pretending to sleep.
Furious, he nearly summoned shadow clones and prepared a Rasengan.
Fortunately, Kushina burst into the room before disaster could strike.
"Naruto! That's your great-grandfather!"
Naruto blinked.
"My what?"
Kushina stared at Akio's youthful face for several seconds before sighing.
"You heard me. That's my great-grandfather. Which makes him your ancestor."
"Ancestor?!"
Naruto leaned closer.
"What happened to him?"
THUD.
Another kick.
Naruto had expected it this time and blocked with both arms.
Unfortunately, Akio apparently anticipated that as well and kicked harder.
Naruto suffered another humiliating defeat.
"Yep," he muttered. "That kicking style is definitely him. But why does he look like this?"
Kushina shrugged.
"How should I know? Honestly, I wouldn't mind turning back the clock myself. Maybe not eleven years old, twenty-one would be nice."
"Eleven?"
Naruto grinned.
"Wait. If he's younger than me now, does that mean he has to call me big bro"
"Don't."
Naruto wisely stopped talking.
He watched Akio for a moment.
"Grandpa usually sleeps with one eye open. You can barely move without him noticing. But this time he's really out cold. He's kicked me twice and still hasn't opened his eyes."
Kushina paused.
"Really?"
Naruto nodded.
"Great-Grandpa! Wake up! Dinner's ready!"
As she spoke, Kushina carefully rolled up one of Akio's pant legs.
"Still no leg hair," she muttered. "Makes sense. An eleven-year-old wouldn't have any yet."
Her gaze slowly drifted upward.
Then she froze.
"Nope. Terrible idea. If he wakes up, I'm dead. Besides, who knows if an eleven-year-old has armpit hair yet?"
Naruto, however, had no intention of letting the opportunity pass.
A painful childhood memory resurfaced.
Years ago, he'd tried and failed to pluck a single hair from Akio's leg.
Now there weren't any.
After a long internal struggle, Naruto extended a hand toward a new target.
Akio's eyebrow.
THUD.
"WHY?!" Naruto cried. "Mom rolled up your pants and nothing happened!"
Akio sat upright, grinning.
"That's because when I sleep here, the only person I instinctively defend myself against is you."
He looked at Kushina.
"Kushina, I trusted you."
Kushina laughed nervously.
Akio raised an eyebrow.
"What was the plan? Trying to collect materials for another pair of mittens for Tsukika?"
"Mittens?" Naruto asked.
Kushina waved both hands frantically.
"No! Just curiosity! Pure curiosity!"
At that exact moment, Minato called from the kitchen.
"Kushina! Tsukika's awake!"
Kushina practically teleported toward the door.
"I should go check on her."
"I'm coming too."
Akio stood.
"At this point, I look more like her brother than Naruto does."
Naruto stared silently.
Explaining things to children was surprisingly easy.
Tsukika accepted the idea that her great-grandfather had become an older brother in record time.
In fact, she seemed delighted.
Akio privately suspected she had always considered Naruto a somewhat disappointing older brother.
Holding Tsukika felt strange now.
Partly because of the size difference.
Mostly because of the situation itself.
Puberty.
Now he finally understood what Chiri had meant.
He glanced down at Tsukika and sighed inwardly.
"At least she's safe."
Then another thought occurred to him.
"Still... maybe I should keep my distance from certain other pretty girls."
Being physically eleven again came with challenges.
And Akio had no intention of becoming the punchline of his own story.
"Puberty is dangerous enough without giving fate extra opportunities."
---
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