Curiosity overwhelmed Dudley, and he exerted considerable effort to flip himself around and scoot forward so he could have a good view of the door. He watched as Vernon opened the door. A young woman stood on the doorstep. A thick mane of raven-black hair framed her pale face, which was highlighted by gleaming violet eyes. Dudley stared, suddenly feeling lust.
"Er… can I be of assistance?" Vernon inquired curiously, also drinking in her looks greedily.
"Yes, you can," the young woman answered with a small grin, bringing her hand up to her mouth as if to stifle a giggle. However, before the hand got to her face, it stopped in midair and jolted imperceptibly. A black stick was now pointed at a spot between Vernon Dursley's eyes.
"You're one of those freaks!" Vernon exclaimed, drawing the attention of Petunia who had finished her phone call and had just now noticed that a strange person was in their home.
"Yes, I am," the girl whispered, walking forward, forcing Vernon to step back as Dudley and Petunia stared with fright. Vernon's backside bumped into the stair railing, and he was forced to remain standing there while the girl casually slammed the front door shut behind her, never taking her eyes from Vernon.
""What do you want?" Vernon demanded, his face reddening as he tried to be brave in the face of a crazed intruder.
Bellatrix's eyes looked past Vernon's shoulder and fell upon the door to the cupboard under the stairs. "Tell me, Mr. Dursley. Have you ever locked anybody in that cupboard?"
"No," Vernon said, shaking his head emphatically.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," Vernon squeaked, staring cross-eyed at Bellatrix's wand.
Bellatrix turned her attention to the beached whale. "Has he ever locked anybody in the cupboard?"
Dudley shook his head, his eyes wide.
Bellatrix looked back to Vernon. "It's your lucky day. Or rather, your day has become luckier than it might have been otherwise." She withdrew her wand from Vernon's face and proceeded to enter the living room proper, her attention directed to the fireplace. She waved her wand at the fireplace and dissipated all of the magic Harry had placed on it to protect his cache.
"Who are you?" Petunia demanded shrilly.
"My identity isn't relevant to you," Bellatrix retorted, casting another spell to make sure that Harry had not forgotten to let her know about any extra defenses surrounding his cache. As she cast the detecting spell, she noticed the newspaper Vernon had been reading and picked it up.
Vernon was outraged. "Don't you touch my newspaper!"
Bellatrix rolled her eyes and shuffled the sections around until she found the main page. The date was printed beneath the masthead. December 19, 1997. "Perfect," Bellatrix mumbled to herself.
"I was reading those sports scores," Vernon Dursley barked. "I demand that you leave this house at once! You have no leave to just walk into someone's house and mess around with their newspaper."
Bellatrix casually swung her wand around and casted a jelly leg jinx at Vernon. He went down onto the floor, unable to stand while affected by the jinx. "You'll wish that messing with your newspaper was the only thing I did to you before I'm done," Bellatrix declared.
"If my sister sent you, I'll wring her neck!" Petunia shouted at Bellatrix.
Bellatrix turned to Petunia and arched one of her eyebrows coolly. "What does your sister have to do with anything?"
"She's a freak, just like you."
"You're the freak," Bellatrix retorted, "but for the sake of conversation, perhaps you could tell me who your sister is. Maybe I know her."
"Lily Potter," Petunia spat. "She went to your freaky school and married another freak."
"Lily Potter," Bellatrix said slowly, the light dawning in her eyes. "As in Lily Evans?"
"Yes. Do you know her?"
Bellatrix smiled wryly. "Yes. If it makes you feel any better, I kind of thought she was a freak, too."
"Oh."
Bellatrix turned back to the fireplace and cast a spell that caused the bricks to open up and reveal one of Harry's boxes. Bellatrix grabbed the box, set it on the couch, and opened it. Petunia stepped over the look into the box, her nosy nature overcoming her fear and outrage.
Bellatrix reached into the box and smirking at Petunia, withdrew a handful of golden galleons and slowly dropped them back into the box. "Bet you didn't know that you had wizard gold hidden in your house!" She sorted through the potions contained among the money, wands, and colored cube before shutting the box. "That's all I need. Well, except for that newspaper. I'll be taking it."
"How dare you!" Vernon yelled, somehow sounding manly despite his position on the floor.
"If you don't know how I did it by now, you'll never learn," Bellatrix replied as she slapped the newspaper on top of the box. She shuffled through it and retrieved the sports section. "I'll leave you with this, however." She walked over to where Vernon was on the floor twitching, kneeled down, separated one of the pages, crumpled it up, and stuffed it in his mouth before scattering the rest of the pages around the house.
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