Albeit speaking of turning back to the palace, nonetheless Shang Yuan in no way returned; conversely, he spurred his horse straight in the direction toward Shang Mountain.
He spurred the horse to gallop exceptionally fast, to the degree that the guard possessed no means to pursue and catch up with; in the final analysis, the person solely knew to recklessly run following behind.
The realm of his heart broken to pieces, trust collapsing inside a fleeting moment, Shang Yuan's heart was as though squeezed by someone, aching and painful without bound; he solely wished the horse to gallop exceptionally fast to bring his very self far away from the source-origin of tragic sorrow.
For what cause must he together with another person contend and struggle? Whether the heart of RongCheng knew if it still resided at his place or not? If it be so, then what benefit was there to contending and struggling? The indifference and cold distance of the person throughout entire recent times was sufficient to express that matter.
The affection and care for so long now, as it turned out, was entirely solely deceit; every single word RongCheng had promised was merely deceiving people, that was all.
Ahead, the road Shang Yuan traveled all of a sudden became muddled and dark; the sky rained not, yet fog barred the path, or was it by reason of his tears streaming down? Bitter and harsh for the affection of husband and wife, in a instant it already broke completely to pieces.
He wished not to cry; crying solely all the more caused his very self to become frail and weak, nonetheless the tears continuously of their own accord streamed endlessly without ceasing.
"RongCheng… RongCheng…" The name that once was the most beloved, now all of a sudden transformed into tragic pain; I have no choice but to let go of hands from here onward.
From now on, devoid of him, would the person be all the more happy or not? If it be so… he would depart… permanently departing far away from the person...
Shang Yuan had departed since a long time already, yet RongCheng still had not gathered back his soul; every single thought inside him all of a sudden was as tangled as raw silk: "What have I performed? For what cause am I at this place?"
… To together with his own adopted brother recklessly hurl into love-desire throughout day and night identical to wild beasts, abandoning the virtuous wife inside a empty room with a lonely pillow, not thinking a single shred toward the person further.
"For what cause did I act thus? For what cause did I act in such a manner?" He understood not, truly understood not… solely sensing his very self was truly muddled to the point of straying off the path and forgetting the way back, so that now when unexpectedly awakening, before his eyes every single thing all of a sudden broke completely to pieces.
RongCheng turned back to the bed to sit down, by his own self ruffling his hair and tearing at his scalp, inside his heart immensely full of regret, wishing to think out hundreds and thousands of methods to explain, to request forgiveness, to hope for the person to pardon, yet forever still knew not what he must speak, knowing not by what means to face toward Shang Yuan.
Catching sight of it thus, Yan Si sat beside RongCheng, gently calling: "Eldest brother…"
Hearing the voice of Yan Si, inside the heart of RongCheng all of a sudden fiercely churned with rage-fire, sensing as though he intentionally lured and entice to cause his own self to become like this, because he loved him not… never yet had loved him; speaking so, from where did this frantic and frenzy desire arise out?
Was it due to him? Was it due to his very self employing treacherous tricks to bewitch all!?
Suddenly catching sight of the burner cast and flung down upon the ground by Shang Yuan, RongCheng in a flash remembered back to the thick and suffocating smoke of incense Yan Si burnt for him every night; he abruptly stood up, slapping him one turn exceptionally hard, grinding his teeth, asking: "What did you perform!? What did you burn!?"
Facing toward the genuine fierce wrath of RongCheng, along with the plan completely breaking to pieces, Yan Si inside terror huddled his frame, continuously shuddering: "I… I performed nothing… I solely wished you to be joyful…"
"Wished me to be joyful!?" RongCheng grinded his teeth, clutching upon Yan Si's neck, squeezing tightly: "Ah Si… Ah Si… for what cause did you degenerate and corrupt to transform into this manner!?"
The day he brought Yan Si back to this place, the person was bright and pure identical to a lotus blossom of white, pure and virtuous, good and kind; how could he cause such foul and bad matters in this manner? How could he be intoxicated with desire to the degree of knowing not the morality of acting as a human being, knowing not right or wrong, to coerce him into becoming an unfaithful, inhuman, and unrighteous entity?
Yan Si was inside the moment of suffocating, still striving to utter each single character: "It is… due to… you dragging me… it is you… abandoning me…"
RongCheng heard it identical to thunder striking beside his ear, without awareness sensing panic and chaos, his fist involuntarily loosening: "It… is due to me?"
Just being pardoned, Yan Si coughed choke-chokingly, again striving to bring the entirety of sin and fault to pour upon the head of RongCheng, in resentful anger saying: "You violated me… dragged me into the interior of fallen desire, in the final analysis abandoning me… transforming me to become in such a manner… What wrong matter have I performed!? Was it not that I formerly pleaded with you to release me back to the forest, yet you stubbornly held and retained me at this place, tormenting me by means of cruel abandonment; you care for your chief wife, yet see yourself as possessing no fault toward me!?"
Those toxic words were identical to ten thousand arrows piercing through the heart; the self-pity and guilt toward the chief wife and toward the adopted brother for a fleeting moment squeezed tightly upon his spirit… In the midst of the moment when his mental strength was muddled, RongCheng grinded his voice, saying: "Listen clearly here! Even if I once violated, then this fallen depravity is due to the base lowliness of your own self; think not that by employing filthy tricks you will attain your desire! Entire life of my RongCheng, there is solely one single love, which is exactly Shang Yuan. Since it is not love, no matter what is performed, I will also never accept you; formerly it was thus, permanently toward afterward it will also be in such a manner!"
The words of RongCheng were identical to slapping directly upon Yan Si's face; he was dazed, for a fleeting moment knowing not where his own self was straying toward, solely sensing his heart aching to the ultimate bound.
Not loving? Formerly never yet… permanently toward afterward it would also be thus? In the final analysis, what was he chasing following? What was he seeking? Performing entire wholes was for what cause indeed?
The fist of RongCheng squeezed tightly; he in a cold voice said: "We stop at this place, it is fine already; hope that you toward afterward ought not to strive to perform anything exceeding the margin… furthermore... wishing to turn back to the forest, then begone; if still remaining at this place, approach not near to me."
His words just finished, RongCheng instantly gathered up the remaining remnants of the incense burner, and then departed away straight away, even not looking upon Yan Si even a single turn.