New York
Action Movie Expo
Barney was hyped, whooping and waving his arms like a lunatic.
But the action newbie's "tribute" was more than Ted could handle.
"Listen, Ted…"
Ted awkwardly called out to the action newbie—using his own name. "You can't keep using my name, man. I'm busting my butt to make it big in architecture!"
"Architect, huh?"
The action newbie blinked, clearly lost.
Back in middle school, Ted had saved him once, and he'd sworn that if he ever made it big, he'd pay tribute to his superhero, Ted Mosby.
Problem was, he barely scraped through high school—college was a pipe dream.
Normally, he'd have been stuck in some nowhere town, a total nobody, with zero chance to repay his hero.
But lucky for him, he was gifted.
Emmm.
Like, really gifted.
How else could he debut and instantly dominate the action movie world, skyrocketing to king status?
He'd even blown up outside the niche!
The endless stream of fans swarming him for autographs today was proof—mostly steel-wool Valkyrie types, sure, but still!
Emmm.
With no looks or physique to speak of, being the darling of those battle-hardened Valkyries made perfect sense.
They'd seen it all—didn't care about shallow stuff. Inner beauty was their jam.
If this guy had a stat sheet, he'd dumped every point into one attribute.
Brains? Nonexistent.
How else could he genuinely think this was a tribute to Ted?
"You mean Beloved Architect?"
The action newbie's god-tier comprehension kicked in.
Three months, 125 films—he'd gone from actor to director to writer, starring in his own stuff now.
Everything he saw, his brain just screamed "action movie plot!"
Can't help it—love what you do, right? Occupational hazard.
"…"
Ted was speechless.
"Dude, you actually nailed it," Barney piped up, eyes gleaming as he jumped into a brainstorming sesh with the newbie. "That'd be an epic movie title!"
He threw up a dramatic hand gesture, winking at Ted. "Ted Mosby: Beloved Architect! Trust me, it's gold."
"Barney!" Ted groaned, exasperated.
He knew what Barney was up to.
Last time Ted griped about how being an architect didn't impress the ladies, Barney overheard and took it as a personal challenge.
Using Ted's name and job, he'd launched a full-on pickup mission.
Turns out, "architect" was fresh meat for the seasoned pros out there—kinda like how old-timers love urban rebirth novels with quirky new jobs.
Didn't even matter if the writing sucked.
Novelty and moves were what counted.
"Right?!" The newbie beamed at Barney like he'd found his soulmate, pointing at him. "Actually, I'm prepping a new flick—starts shooting tomorrow night…"
"Hold up!" Ted cut in, panicking. "Hey, no offense, man, but isn't there some other way you could honor me?"
"Wait, you're not mad, are you?"
The newbie finally clocked Ted's real feelings, looking crushed.
"Oh man, my dad was right—I should've just planted a tree or something (Jewish tradition for memorials). I'm such an idiot! I thought you'd be touched!"
"...I am touched," Ted said quickly. He was too soft to hurt anyone's feelings. "Really! It's just… I feel kinda guilty. Because, uh… I wasn't actually the one who saved you that day!
It was Lance Hardwood…"
"Seriously?!"
The newbie's eyes lit up, all earnest and clueless. "You guys might not know this, but in my line of work, that name's got serious potential—no, it's practically unbeatable!"
"Oh yeah?" Ted played along, faking it.
"Totally!" The newbie started daydreaming. "Lance Hardwood: Beloved Architect!"
While Ted smirked, thinking he'd dodged a bullet, the newbie hit him with a curveball. "Starring… Ted Mosby!"
"...Can you please stop using Ted Mosby? Shouldn't you just go by Lance Hardwood?" Ted begged, rubbing his temples.
"Sorry, bro," the newbie said, genuinely apologetic. "I've already made it big as Ted Mosby—can't switch names and start over now!
Maybe in your field, you can swap names whenever, but in mine? It's all about the brand."
"...Names matter in my field too!" Ted protested.
"Really?" The newbie blinked, confused. "Your job pays that well? How come I've never heard of it?"
Ted had no comeback.
Compared to this guy who'd blown up worldwide, his salary and bonuses were peanuts.
"No hard feelings, alright?" the newbie said, sheepish. "How about I make it up to you? Oh—tomorrow night, we're kicking off the new shoot. You guys should swing by if you're curious! You could even join in.
And if you're into meeting some hot leading ladies from the biz, I can hook you up!"
"Deal!" Barney shoved a stunned Ted aside and shook the newbie's hand, locking it in.
Just like that, it was settled!
Ted got dragged off by Barney, still reeling.
"What did you just do?!" Ted snapped once they were outside, the cold air hitting him.
"Chill!" Barney shot back, annoyed. "If I hadn't jumped in, you'd have blown a once-in-a-lifetime shot! Don't tell me you've never watched an action flick.
Or that you think the actresses in those aren't drop-dead gorgeous!"
"…"
Ted choked.
He couldn't lie—those leading ladies were stunning.
Faces and figures that could blow Hollywood A-listers out of the water!
"I'm married!" Ted yelped, grasping at straws.
"I know!" Barney stared at him like he was nuts. "We're just checking it out tomorrow night—not doing anything shady. What's going through your head, man?"
Ted shut down. No words left.
The Next Night
Ted couldn't outstubborn Barney and got dragged to the set.
He'd flat-out refused Barney's idea to offer up his apartment as a filming spot, though.
"Here's the blueprint for the new International Beloved Tower," the newbie declared, decked out in a suit, hammering away at a keyboard like he knew what he was doing.
"Oh, Beloved Architect, you've done it again," a gorgeous assistant in a tight red OL outfit purred, perched on the desk, tossing out perfectly timed praise.
"Let's celebrate…"
The scene rolled on. Barney was eating it up, but Ted couldn't take it anymore—he bailed.
He was married to Anna now, after all.
Medical Center
Adam was running a private session for Alice Grey when his phone buzzed with a frantic call from Ted.
After hearing the chaos, Adam muttered "Ridiculous" under his breath but said, "Ambulances are slow—I'm on my way. Don't move her, or you'll risk worsening the injury and causing internal bleeding."
He hung up, grabbed an emergency kit from the ER, and peeled out in his car.
Sure, it was absurd, but a life was a life—worth 0.01 lifespan points!
Plus, he was kinda curious about this "Ted Mosby" action star.
He'd thought he was the only one stuck with a mess like this. 😅
(End of Chapter)