Tick-tock... tick-tock... tick-tock...
Uhh...
Tick-tock... tick-tock...
She slowly opened her eyes, too comfortable to get up.
"Blue," she said, staring at the ceiling.
Tick-tock...
Blue...
She didn't move. She didn't move at all.
Tick-tock...
There wasn't a clock. In fact, she wasn't hearing anything. It was silence, complete silence.
Tick-tock...
"I don't want to get up..." She remained lying down, too lazy to do anything other than enjoy the moment of peace.
"I want to... I don't want to do anything."
Tick-tock...
"I need more time... to relax..."
Tick-tock...
After a while, she began to feel tired... of doing nothing. The blue she kept looking at was starting to bore her. Instead of getting up, however, she rolled lazily to the side, changing her field of vision.
"White..." she muttered under her breath, her mind exhausted, even though she had just woken up.
Tick-tock...
"...blue..." she finished with a sigh, closing her eyes slowly. But she wasn't sleepy enough to fall asleep.
"...black..." She breathed with her mouth open, trying to gather her own thoughts.
"...I like black... I don't find it scary at all..."
Tick-tock...
"...it's actually more peaceful than blue or white..."
Tick-tock...
"...I wouldn't mind if there was nothing in front of me... for eternity..."
Tick-tock...
"...because I wouldn't have a brain to feel anything..."
Tick-tock...
"...it's more peaceful this way..."
Her mind came to an ease as she thought about eternal peace. A slight, soft smile creeped on her face, her eyes watering up just a little.
"...I don't want to get up..."
Tick-tock...
But something continued to bother her: boredom.
"...I would stay in an empty room for a year... for one billion dollars..."
She couldn't stay in one place for too long, or she would start getting bored. She hated boredom.
"...it's not as hard as it sounds... I promise..." She smiled slightly, her eyes still closed. Tears streamed down her face, her mind filling with unpleasant thoughts once more. Actually, they were pleasant thoughts, just not at that moment.
"...I don't want to... have a brain..."
Tick-tock...
"...I don't want... to feel pain..."
Tick-tock...
"..."
She fell silent once more. It seemed as if she were asleep. But she couldn't sleep while filled with regrets. It was impossible for her, unless she was truly exhausted.
Tick-tock...
Time began to bore her. She had thought it was all over. She wanted it to end soon. The boredom.
Tick-tock...
"...I'm really tired... I don't want to get up..."
Tick-tock...
The silence began to grow more deafening than ever. The buzzing was the only thing she could hear, besides her own voice. The absence of sound only made it louder, while talking relieved the discomfort. But she didn't like to speak more than a few words. It was... exhausting...
"...please, please, please..."
She slowly opened her eyes again, looking at her own body and hoping for a better result. "White..." was the color of her hoodie. Not because she liked that color, but because... because... there was no reason. Not everything needs a reason to make sense. Just like her.
She curled up, hugging her legs while still lying down. She hugged them with all her might, seeking warmth. She felt at peace for a moment. She felt the warmth she had been needing for a while. And it wasn't coming from anyone else. Her own company was relaxing sometimes. She smiled slightly, and her eyes involuntarily filled with tears once more.
Because of this, she felt a little more joyful and curious to finally take a look at her surroundings. It was white and blue, the colors of the future. But not just any future. A cold, but utopic future.
There were floating metal objects and lines that stretched from one wall to another. The lighting gave the place a welcoming aura, although it seemed cold and lifeless.
She stood up slowly, almost losing her balance on her frail legs. She felt as if she were in paradise. The utter silence forced her brain to focus on the colors, which hypnotized her for a few seconds. They were... soothing.
The air was also very pure and... delicious? Not to the palate, but to the nose. It entered her nostrils like a purified cloud. It was humid, devoid of any impurities. It was almost too pure. She wasn't used to it; in fact, nobody was, because that place was too ethereal to be real. But she was there. Isn't that proof enough that that place was real?
But she didn't want to believe that that place existed in her world. Nor that other worlds existed. But that didn't matter to her at that moment. What mattered was that she felt relaxed after a long time. She looked at the glass wall; outside, there was a beautiful, futuristic city, full of blue, white, green, and orange. The buildings had geometric shapes and straight lines.
She walked to the window and touched it with both hands, as if savoring the view. She looked down, feeling chills from the altitude; she was probably inside a skyscraper. But she couldn't stop looking, as if the whole place had hypnotized her.
She turned around to look throughout the room she was in. There was a computer on a desk, its monitor turned on. The aesthetics of that machine brought back vivid memories of what she thought it would look like in the future: white, blue and holographic.
She felt oddly attracted to it, as if she were a child again, optimistic about the coming decades. Technology would adapt to humans, the environment would live in harmony with them, the streets would be safe... all of that had suddenly become reality.
She sat in the white, floating chair, settling in as it adjusted to her body. It seemed metallic and hard at first, but it was very comfortable. She felt at home, but not her usual home...
"Eh?" she murmured, staring into the void. Something seemed strange. Everything was peculiarly familiar. She knew she had never been there before, but she couldn't remember her usual home.
"Am I really supposed to be here...?"
Tick-tock...
"It doesn't matter... nothing really matters... I'm just going to enjoy the moment." She made up her mind and started using the computer. It worked perfectly, even better than expected. It was incredibly fast and very intuitive to use.
However, there was no access to internet. She was isolated.
"It doesn't make that much of a difference... I don't want to leave here anytime soon."
She rummaged through the folders, finding one with several songs.
"In fact... I prefer being alone..."
She put on some random music, trying to liven up the mood. It was electronic and relaxing. She stood up and ran from one wall to the other on the other side of the room repeatedly, feeling lively. For some reason, she couldn't get tired. That "tiredness" she felt while lying down wasn't physical.
She opened the door and ran aimlessly down the hallway, reaching a balcony inside the building, facing the enormous glass wall overlooking the city. She rested her arms on the metal railing, looking down. The ground floor was far away, but she could see trees and an inviting entrance. Her fear of heights, however, had vanished. She could feel nothing but happiness.
Then, she felt a chill down her spine, as if something was wrong. Her smile slowly faded as she tried to understand the situation she was in. "I should never feel this happy... this won't last forever..."
She lay down on the floor, looking up at the ceiling, a glass ramp that revealed the sky. The cold metal beneath her back wasn't as uncomfortable as it seemed. She traced circles on the glass parapet beside her, savoring the brief moment of freedom.
"What am I doing here anyway...?" After minutes of silence and peace, she finally stood up and continued to explore the place.
She ran upstairs to find the rooftop. The door was unlocked, so she simply pushed it open and was greeted by a gentle breeze and a beautiful blue view of the city. It felt like childhood. She walked to the edge and looked down; she felt no fear. Instead, she was excited.
She let her gaze sweep over the city of her dreams: everything was perfect. Clean, beautiful, practical, a marvel of architecture. She placed her foot forward, hovering it in the air. Her eyes shone with hope, as if she wanted to jump, as if... she had always wanted to do that.
She hesitated for a while, trying to resist the temptation. "No, I cannot do this... I can't end it all so soon... not when I'm where I've always wanted to be."
She gazed at the city for a few more minutes, never tiring of it. Every square deserved to be contemplated.
She returned to the building and walked through the corridors. The walls began to transition from blue to green, changing the aesthetic. She opened a green door and went through it.
Inside, there was a green and cozy room. It felt therapeutic, as if that place could be used as a recovering center.
She jumped onto a green sofa. It was soft and... bouncy? The texture resembled that of a balloon. It was shiny and looked metallic, but it was actually elastic.
"Hahaha!" She laughed as she repeatedly jumped on top of it, then lay on her stomach, swinging her legs innocently.
"I could live like this forever..." She frowned, troubled by unpleasant thoughts. "They say humans need company to avoid going crazy... I disagree. I'm much happier alone..."
She smiled faintly, the silence deafening. "Yeah... I would be totally fine..."
She stood up and slapped her own face, pushing away the thoughts. Then she lay down on the green carpet on the floor. She began to move the carpet's fibers, recalling long-forgotten memories. It was very soft, like a cloud.
"How long has it been... since I lay down on a carpet? It feels like heaven..."
As soon as she got bored, she got up and went to the nearest computer. She began browsing through the files aimlessly, trying to find something interesting. She listened to several songs, all of them relaxing.
However, something dark began to bother her: she enjoyed the peace, but she was also starting to get bored with that place. It was perfect, too perfect. She had always loved perfection, but she also got bored easily with things, especially repetitive ones.
She entered a blue cafeteria that resembled an aquarium. The walls had windows overlooking the water, with holographic fish. Nothing real, though. She sat in a chair and began fidgeting with her fingers, waiting for something that would never arrive. The water above her shimmered in random patterns, as if she were the one submerged.The waves mercilessly washed away her worries, and she was able to relax again.
She wasn't hungry. She didn't feel tired or hungry. The whole situation was dreamlike, the kind that erased her basic needs. She didn't know how to feel about this. She didn't know if she was happy or not. Because that situation wasn't as perfect as she wanted it to be.
She walked around some more, finding an orange area. There was a window on the ceiling. She looked up. The buildings were tall enough to scrape the sky. She felt small, insignificant, as if nothing she did mattered.
She sat on a round sofa. Behind her was a glass column with a screen simulating lava. She looked up again: the lava was pouring down on her head, as if she were being scorched alive. Why was she thinking about something so gruesome? Because it was something she was starting to miss. She punched her own face with all her might and felt no pain.
She was beginning to... feel nothing at all. She walked aimlessly once again. She opened a random door, expecting something extraordinary to happen.
She lay down on the green, stretchy sofa and closed her eyes, trying to sleep. She couldn't. She kept her eyes closed for a while, waiting and waiting...
Tick-tock...
Time went on...
Tick-tock...
After what seemed like an eternity, she opened her eyes, feeling exactly the same as before. With the same level of boredom and tiredness. She sat up, rubbing her eyes. On the carpet, there was something... or rather, someone. It wasn't an ordinary human being, though.
His silhouette resembled that of a boy. But his skin and hair were transparent, made of glass. At first, she felt frightened, after being alone for so long.
But she didn't scream nor freak out. She stared at the boy calmly, who was also staring at her. They exchanged glances for minutes that seemed endless, until she broke the silence.
"Who are you...?"