The rest of the day flew by; the news I accidentally overheard had short-circuited my brain. My brain was still grappling with reality. I had seen a similar scenario in my dreams countless times, the golden opportunity in which stars aligned in my favor.
I felt as if the golden mother herself had finally listened to my prayers and granted me my one and only wish.
The recruiter earlier had come to notify me that I was eligible to become the personal bodyguard of the son of the Scarlet Devil.
Well, might as well jump from the window and get over with this… No, no, no, no. What if this is not a dream… No, it can't be. There's no way.
My hands were still trembling, so much so that I couldn't even begin to eat the dinner my mother had so carefully prepared, and I was spilling the soup all over the table.
"Enough with this!" My father suddenly slammed her fist onto the table.
And just like that, I was forcefully brought back to reality.
It felt strange; the news we just received couldn't have been better, yet the mood at the table couldn't be worse.
Both my parents seemed really tense for some reason; none of them were happy, and they wanted for me to match their mood.
"Don't get too worked up about it; you're not going." My mother said it in an incredibly cruel and venomous tone; it felt like a sharp blade that cut the air between us.
Those words echoed multiple times in my mind for a while.
"What? Why? Isn't this what we've been waiting for all along?" I replied.
"No, this isn't it. That's what YOU wanted." My father corrected me.
"But if we refuse, we might never get a second chance." I tried to negotiate, but they already knew it.
"It's fine, there's no need to rush; we're not lacking money. We don't need to take unnecessary risks." My father was quick to join in the conversation to shut down all my hopes and dreams.
"But—"
"No buts! I'm not going to sell my own son to advance my career." He spoke over me, not giving me a single inch to go.
"But I want to go," I said, raising my voice against them in protest.
"We don't. End of the discussion." My mother said, slamming her hand against the table.
"I don't understand. I thought—"
"End of discussion," my father yelled louder to ensure his point was understood.
"Why are you being so stubborn about this? I don't get it?" I wasn't ready to give up when my goal was within reach; all I needed was something, an opening to exploit.
"I'm not going to send my only son to some unknown place to risk his life; it's better to simply stay here where it's safer and more secure," he explained.
"We're going to rot in here!" I yelled.
"William!" My father yelled my name even louder, urging me to stay silent.
"No!" I yelled back. "It doesn't make sense. Every day you kept repeating the same thing, "Connections are power," this and that, every day, but now that it matters, we don't want that? Why?
"This time it's different." He said.
The situation makes no sense! How is it any different?
I wanted to yell and scream, but doing so would've just further solidified their positions, so I tried to calm down and take a deep breath.
"How, how is it any different? If I become the personal guard of the prince, wouldn't that count as establishing a connection?" I tried to make a reasonable point this time.
"That's too risky." My mother reminded me.
"Risky? Is that it? Is that why you're against me candidating for this position?" I asked, shocked.
Blood was starting to boil once more.
Risk, why is that word getting in our way? What about our great-grandfathers who served in the war? Did they not take those risks in order to show our loyalty to the Jittermeist family?
"Yes, you could die in that position; it could happen anytime, and we wouldn't even know. Many candidates during the selection process die, often at the hand of other candidates who seek to secure a spot for themselves." My father explained as he frowned.
"Many times the corpses are just tossed aside, and the family wouldn't even be notified of the death," my mother added.
"That's a risk I'm—"
"No! Not while you're still under my care; that's final. Now finish your meal." My father shouted to end the conversation.
This felt like the final stab in the heart when the goalpost was so close.
I tried to stand my ground, standing up ready to argue, but a single glance at my father's furious gaze immediately shut me down.
"This could set us backwards," I reminded them.
"If that happens, so be it." Despite him shouting moments earlier, now he sounded more calm than ever; he stared at the cup of water.
Even my mother looked somewhat uncomfortable at the situation.
"What will the uncles think?" I asked.
"Let them think what they want; I'm sure they were offered the same thing as us. If they also refused the deal, they have no right to complain to us." My father answered. He was cold and straight to the point.
"What makes you think they'll refuse?" I asked him.
"I have my reasons; now finish your plate and go back to bed. You have a long day tomorrow."
I was starting to feel anxious; for the first time in my life, talking to my parents felt like talking to a brick wall. There was no opening to exploit; they weren't reasonable and rational.
"Mom!"
"No matter how much you plead, I'm not going to side with you on this." She said as she averted her eyes.
I could tell she was doing her best not to be swayed by me.
"But you said you'd always support my dreams." I tried to use this excuse to emotionally blackmail her, but that didn't make her budge.
"Yeah, I said that, but if your dream might kill you, then I'm obviously going to be against that; the risk is simply too high, so you should reconsider it." She replied.
"You're throwing away the biggest opportunity of my life." Since she was looking much easier to sway than Father, I tried to keep some pressure against her.
"I'm saving your life." She replied.
"Tell me that when someone else picks that position and uses it to further–"
"How many times must I repeat myself?" My father interrupted me; now he was starting to sound angry.
"At least give me a chance to prove myself!" I screamed back.
"No, we already argued enough; the decision is final." My father repeated once more, ending the conversation.
I just remained silent, stunned by what he had just said… there was no going around it; no matter what, he wasn't budging.
I tried to look for my mother's help, but she immediately averted her gaze.
Please.
I was begging mentally; I was prostrating myself. Everything I wanted was in front of me, contained in that paper letter my father was so intent on destroying.
Before he can destroy it, I need to find it; I can't let him destroy that letter.
And in that moment a crazy thought crossed my mind: What if I ran away with that letter? I could easily forge my parent's signature, maybe with some luck on my side. I could get accepted into the training program to become one of the prince's bodyguards.
As we were finishing our dinner, I tried looking around the living room, scanning every inch in search of that letter, but failed to spot it.