Concupiscent = Lustful
...
So...
Uhh...
Hey.
My name is Neil.
Neil Nordegaf.
...
Now you might be wondering what my dilemma is.
Well, you see...
It all started when Julie asked us to go home.
We weren't sure if we actually wanted to do that.
But we went home anyway.
We can't exactly help, but be worried about Y/N fighting off some rando and Kim suddenly asking where Y/N is before running off to where he was.
I wasn't exactly in the best of mind.
I genuinely wanted to help Y/N.
Cause, uh-- y'know, he's like a big brother that I never had.
One who was always looking out for others, including me.
And I respect it really.
He does all these things for us.
But he never lets us do things for him.
After Knives and I talked to Julie about Y/N's whereabouts, she told us that he was staying at Kim's place.
And I couldn't help but notice the way Julie says it... with venom.
Like the idea of Y/N living somewhere else other than hers, pisses her off to an extreme measure.
Knives noticed it too before we headed out of there.
If both of us were to stay there any longer, she might've snapped something.
Our necks, maybe. Kidding, of course.
Dang, now I get why people have the hots for Julie.
Is she just angry at you or something? You can immediately see her figure standing out like a mannequin.
Too bad, she's reserved for my boy, Y/N.
In Y/N's defense, he's not that DENSE.
He's just someone you need to be direct with, or you're just going to egg him on like an idiot.
Trust me. The number of times I see Kim getting all jittery is enough to tell that she didn't notice Stephen, Knives, and me staring at her like a headlamp giving her the go-ahead and make a move already.
...
Anyway, I'm getting off track.
We've finally arrived at Kim's abode!
...
Knives: "I was hoping to talk to Kim about something..."
Neil: "About what exactly?"
Knives: "...It's not something I can talk about right now... It's like uh... secret for girl to girl?"
Neil: "Okay, sure."
Knives: "...You're not gonna even question it?"
Neil: "I mean... do you want me to?"
Knives: "You're awesome sometimes."
Neil: "I learn from the best."
Knives: "Y'know, I get that Y/N's like someone you can rely on, but what is he really to you anyway?"
Neil: "Hmm... Honestly, we can save that talk for another time cuz we're here already."
Both of them are already standing near Kim's door.
Before they could even twist the knob, a loud muffled sound could be heard across.
Netflix: "Are you still watching?"
"O.! .U.K~! A.! .H! OOo....!"
...
Uh-- What?
Knives: "...O-Oh (/////)."
Neil: "Confused... What are they doing in there?"
Knives: "Y-You don't know??"
Am I supposed to know what's going on?
"R.GH.! TH..E! F-F..K~! A.~!"
Neil: "I don't, honestly. Should I?"
Neil Nordegaf ------> Still innocent.
Knives: "N-No! You don't have to know! They're just- Uh! Playing games! That's all!"
Neil: "Oh, really? Why didn't Y/N invite me then? We always did play games together back at my place."
Knives: "Uh..."
S#%t! For a 20-year-old man who still hasn't touched adult things, that's kinda cute and hot. At least for me-- why did I think of that?!
I mean, I haven't, but that's besides the point!
...
I wonder what Neil's face would look like if we did it--
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! SHUT UP, BRAIN! SHUT UP!
Y/N! Kim! You'd better pay me back later after this!
Knives: "It's just their bonding time, you know? Kim's actually excited and all that biz! She really wants to be with Y/N."
Netflix: "Why do I even bother-- I can see you two fucking!!"
Kim: " YES! You're so right! Yeah? Yeah~?! Ah! Ah! Ah! AH! AH! AH~! RIGHT! FUCKING! THERE! OoUGH~! Fuaaaccck!"
Knives: "..."
Neil: "Oh! I get what you're saying, Knives."
Knives: "...You do?"
Neil: "They're having a date! God, I should've known that they would immediately start dating!"
Knives: "U-UH, yeah! Hahaha! Good for both of them, right?"
Kim: "Y-You want more~?! OOGouH~~~!"
Knives: "We should probably go, like right now."
Neil: "Sure, finally that they're starting to like each other after all this time."
Walking away from Kim's house, Knives can still hear Kim's moans outside the area.
Kim: "COMING!!!"
Netflix: "Holy shit! It's everywhere-- IT'S ON MY FACE SCREEN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"
Knives: "Blush... Oh my god..."
...
...
...
As both Neil and Knives walk away from that rambunctious neighborhood, Neil couldn't help but think.
No way... Neil Nordegaf, thinking?
Hell must've frozen over.
Knives walking, happy to be beside her boyfriend, stares at him, genuinely curious as to what is eating him up inside.
Knives: "What'cha thinking about?"
Neil: "Well... I kinda missed the time when me and Y/N were hanging out before... all of this, you know?"
Knives, knowing what Neil is talking about, nods.
Knives: "You're right about that... Everything stays, but it still changes.
Neil: "It's just... How do I say this without getting sad about it...?"
Knives: "..."
Neil: "Maybe it's the fact that he's hanging out with Kim more... I get a little jealous at times."
Knives: "Go on..."
Neil: "You know how he is with me and to you guys."
Neil: "He's a helper. He's a supporter. He's... someone that you can actually rely on..."
"Y/N... He's... like a big brother to me."
Knives: "Clasping her hands to her mouth, gushing... Oh my god, that is so cute!"
Neil: "You can call it like that. I don't really care. He was... really something, y'know? Like he'd be there even when you don't expect him. How about having a bad day? He'll be there at a moment's notice. I-I don't know what I'm saying all of a sudden..."
Knives: "Oh, baby..."
Hugging Neil with all her might, Neil reciprocates the hug.
Neil: "It's okay. I'm not sad. I'm just... feeling left out all of a sudden."
Knives: "You're so cute, you're like a baby sometimes."
Neil: "Chuckles... Is that right?"
Knives: "I mean- yeah! Cuz you're worrying about nothing. Like, at all. You know how Y/N is. He'll be there for you always, and him forgetting you? That would make you a worrywart than anything else at this point."
Neil: "...Hmm."
Knives: "And besides... that means we get to spend more time together... now that they're busy with each other."
Neil: "...You're right, Knives. I shouldn't be aggravating on something I can't control."
Knives: "Atta boy! Now, let's get you to walk to my parents' house since you're homeless now."
Neil: "Oh... yeah, forgot about that."
...
Knives: "Where are you going?! My parents this way!"
Neil: "I will not get shishkebab and gaslight myself into thinking that is normal-- NO!"
Knives: "BAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEE!"
Neil: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
[Last Night Prior]
Roxie: "You know... if you ever said like I was here chilling with you right here in the night sky, right now? I would've actually cut you in half. No questions asked."
Ramona: "Sweating... Where did that even come from?"
Roxie: "Eh, I don't know, maybe it's because both of us exist in the same place as if we didn't just fight not a moment ago? Sounds very stupid if you ask me."
Ramona: "Actually, yeah, it is stupid."
Roxie: "Right?! But, anyway, before we go on our separate ways and do whatever..."
...
Roxie: "How are you?"
Ramona: "Hmm?"
Roxie: "Like, are you okay? All that stuff, worries, future, future, yada yada yada, and all that."
Ramona: "Chuckles... Well, for your question, I am fine, Roxie. Never been better, now that we've actually talked than just swing swords and bats."
Roxie: "Heh! Yeah. Also, I... uh-- I'm sorry about giving you all those injuries to you. Most of them were really unnecessary."
Ramona: "No, it's fine. I deserved it at least. You needed to get that and let it out of your system, right?"
Roxie: "I'm really sorry."
Ramona: "Apology accepted."
Roxie: "So, we're cool?"
Ramona: "Of course. We're still staying as friends, though."
Roxie: "...Fair."
...
Roxie: "So... who's this... Y/N guy, anyway?"
Ramona: "Oh, him? He's nothing special."
Roxie: "What? If he's nothing special, then how did he like, you know, got your heart and stuff?"
Ramona: "...He didn't. I did it and gave mine to him, all by myself."
Roxie: "But why, though?"
Ramona: "I-I don't know, honestly."
Ramona: "He just has that thing where he can instantly tell, or maybe he knew because Matthew Patel told him about all of us."
Roxie: "...That fucking hobo."
Ramona: "At the time, I didn't know why or what... I was just minding my own business, from my job as usual, before all of this happened..."
[FLASHBACK]
All I did was just deliver some goods to the receiver before I entered into his dream, which was, by the way, so fucking cool.
Roxie: "Dang, it was so cool that it made you say the word 'fucking'. You don't usually say things like that unless you mean it. Anyways, continue."
Ramona: "Thank you."
So while entering, the entire space that this guy had was ginormous, it felt like seeing an actual dream that people would imagine themselves in. And the most normal thing I've seen in there? Y/N, not changing his own personal face and his own entire being.
Roxie: "How does that correlate to anything, really?"
Ramona: "Well, most of the time that I enter the Subspace Highway. There are always these people who dream and try to be someone different than what they are now. Y/N himself doesn't need to do anything because he's already accepted himself for who he is and what he is. It's amazing. It's beautiful. A nice change of pace from what you always see in the real world.
Roxie: "...You know you could be just speculating all of this and making shit up."
Ramona: "Maybe, but we're getting sidetracked."
Noticing Y/N, she waves and greets herself to him with a wave.
Ramona: "Hello, I didn't know that there were other people who could use Subspace like this. Are you the one who made this place?"
Y/N: "I did. All by myself."
Ramona: "Whistle... It looks pretty cool, and I fancy the vibe here."
Y/N: "Thanks. Anyways, what's a stranger like you doing around here? You new or something? And not even a greeting? Tsk tsk tsk, what bad manners you have."
He smirks at her as if it were bad manners not to do so.
She could tell he was joking. Amusement was all she thought of.
Ramona: "...I think we're gonna get along just well. I'm Ramona. Ramona Flowers."
She opens her hand for a handshake, practically making Y/N do the same thing.
Y/N: "Shakes her hand... Y/N. Y/N L/N."
Ramona: "I'll say, dude, I'm kinda jealous of how you did all of this in your head. What's your secret?"
Y/N: "...I just think a lot, that's all. It wasn't like something amazing or anything I did."
Ramona: "So you just... poof and then it's there?"
Y/N: "I mean, yeah, it's not like I'm exceptional at it. People can do it too because they can. Here, I can teach you."
Walking over to an empty spot outside of his space, he stands there, positioning himself.
Y/N: "If you can imagine yourself doing something, be somewhere, and being different? All you have to do is let yourself free and... let go."
Ramona: "I...I don't know. This is so sudden."
Y/N: "There's no rush to be done. If you don't want to do it right now, that's fine. But, if you're willing, know that I'll be here for as long as you need and... for as long as you want."
Given the choices, Ramona hesitates.
But as Y/N said, she doesn't need to do this for now.
She can do this another time.
But will there ever be a time when they can do this again? Maybe this Y/N guy might forget about her after this.
It's not like she's got nothing to lose. It wouldn't hurt to try.
Sighing, she walks towards the empty spot and closes her eyes.
...
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...
...
...
Sparkles.
That's what she could see in the vast darkness.
As if it had a mind of its own, it stared right back at her, with child-like curiosity.
It laughed like a child filled with joy.
Danced all around her with energy sprouting all over the darkness.
Staring at her with such joy that she had never experienced.
Staring at her lovingly as it was her parent.
Staring at her as if she were the entire world.
Staring at her with such a gaze that Ramona wanted to cradle it in her own arms.
It wasn't something she could comprehend.
It wasn't something she wanted to understand.
...
But maybe... just maybe.
She could learn a thing or two about the sparkles.
...
Y/N: "...You okay? You started to... cry all of a sudden."
Opening her eyes, tears are pouring out of her; she tries to wipe them all away.
She couldn't.
It kept going on and on til she could no longer help but feel remorseful.
Of all the things that she had done.
For breaking their hearts.
Cheating on them like it was easy to begin with, when it wasn't.
Ramona: "...I'm sorry."
She wanted this to be over.
Ramona: "I'm sorry."
She wanted nothing more than to apologise.
Ramona: "I'm sorry..."
She wanted to punch herself in the face for being such a scaredy-cat.
Running away from the problems because she was scared.
Of commitment.
Of trust.
Of anything.
Of love.
...
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...
...
...
...
Ramona: "Huh...? W-What are you doing?"
Zooming out of the camera, we can see Y/N...
Hugging her.
The atmosphere was filled with soft, bright lights.
Sparkling and Shining. Appearing and Disappearing.
Blinking and Sparkling. Existing and Emerging.
Ramona couldn't understand why he...
No...
She did understand.
And so she reciprocated the action. Hugged him tightly as if he might disappear.
Y/N: "It's okay... It's alright. Just let it all out. No need to bottle it up anymore."
Drip
Drop
Drip
Drop
Ramona: "Hic... Hic... I... Hic... I'm such a... piece of shit...!"
Y/N: "..."
Ramona: "I thought I could just ignore all of it and just be on my own way... Turns out, it'll just come back and bite you back in the ass."
Ramona: "I can't even help myself in the first place! The fact that I can live like this and move on as if nothing happened?! Wow, I'm fucking disgrace!"
Y/N: "..."
Ramona: "If I kept going at it, I might as well just kill myself at this point--"
Y/N: "Stop it."
Ramona: "What?! It's true!! Because all I've done is just--"
Y/N: "And does it solve the problem naturally?"
Ramona: "If I disappear, sure--"
Y/N: "Then, you're an idiot."
Ramona: "..."
Y/N: "You think that getting a couple of pity points would help, but it's not. Killing yourself is never the answer to things you can't and couldn't control. Does it go away if you commit suicide? Sure. But you'd be ruining other people's lives if you leave this life right now. It's not that what you're going and experiencing through isn't to be scoffed at. What's wrong is with how you react to it. Don't just go and pull that shit out from your ass as if you've just made the correct, perfect answer. Not everything is right and wrong. There will always and will be a middle ground between the two choices that are presented to you. Don't go off the rails because you're weak. Do this shit and keep going even if you're fucking weak. That's the whole point of living because it's all we've got."
Ramona: "..."
...
...
...
Roxie: "And? What happened next?!"
Ramona: "Well... That's something you'll have to hear from him."
Roxie: "Groans... You're blue-balling me so hard! Wait, I don't even have a penis..."
Ramona: "Chuckles... Thanks for the talk, but I gotta like go and sleep."
Roxie: "Yeah, you kinda need that right now. Again, sorry for slashing you all over you."
Ramona: "It's fine. It's fine. It was something you needed to do. You know, because of me."
Roxie: "Still, I'm sorry."
Ramona: "Apology accepted, again. I'll be going now. See you soon, Rox."
Roxie: "You too, Ram."
As Roxie watches Ramona roller skate out of her sight, she couldn't help but be glad that Y/N helped Ramona. Making her see the error of her ways. The worry and care he must have shown for Ramona to change herself...
...
...
Huh?
No way...
No way...!
Roxie: "Are you fucking kidding me...!"
"Shit... I have a crush."