The afternoon sun cast long shadows across the cobblestone path as Hozuki Nozomi watched Yukino carefully position a cardboard box beside a row of hedges. The scent of freshly cut grass mingled with the faint sweetness of nearby cherry blossoms, their petals drifting lazily in the spring breeze.
Inside the box, two cats blinked up at him with patient, golden eyes.
His lips twitched involuntarily.
"Yukino, are you serious?"
"What?" She straightened, brushing a strand of midnight hair from her face, her ice-blue eyes narrowing with genuine offense. "Of course I'm serious."
The girl crossed her arms beneath her chest, her Sobu uniform jacket shifting as she turned to face him fully. Her voice dropped into that particular register she used when lecturing—soft but absolute.
"Nozomi, in this world, no beautiful girl will dislike a cute cat." She lifted her chin. "Especially someone like Kaguya-san, who looks so dignified and cold, but actually has the softest heart buried underneath all that aristocratic posturing."
Her pale fingers gestured toward the box.
"A cute cat's charm is the perfect key to unlock that heart. Besides—" A flicker of accusation crossed her features. "—didn't you use a cat to trick me before? What, when it comes to Kaguya-san, suddenly you're too embarrassed to employ the same tactics?"
Beside them, Yui Yuigahama's brown eyes went impossibly wide. Her coral-pink hair swayed as she whipped her head between them, her glossed lips parting in shock.
So Nozomi, that's how you are!
You already used a cat to trick Yukino-chan!
But even as Yui processed this revelation, something nagged at her. This whole setup felt... unreliable.
"Yukino, of course I'm not treating Kaguya-san differently." Nozomi rubbed the back of his neck, the gesture casual despite the skepticism in his amber eyes. "I just... feel like this is unreliable?"
Yui nodded so vigorously her twin buns bounced. "I also think it's hopeless, Yukino-chan! Why do you think Kaguya-san will definitely like cats? What if she likes dogs?" Her expression brightened at the thought. "Just like me!"
Yukino's expression froze mid-certainty, her composure cracking like thin ice.
A beat of silence.
"...Anyway." She cleared her throat, regaining her footing with visible effort. "Let's try it first."
She crouched beside the box, her pleated skirt brushing the stone path as she adjusted the cats' positions with meticulous care.
"First, we use the cats Nozomi found to attract Kaguya-san's attention and attempt to open her heart. When she inevitably struggles to handle them, she'll have no choice but to entrust our Service Club with finding their owner."
She's projecting, Nozomi thought, watching Yukino fuss over the felines with barely concealed affection. Using herself as the template.
And honestly? The logic wasn't entirely flawed.
It had worked on her, after all. He'd used a cat to create an excuse to approach Yukino Yukinoshita. One interaction became two. Two became routine. Routine became something neither of them had words for until they'd tumbled into bed together and found entirely different vocabulary.
But Kaguya Shinomiya was not Yukino Yukinoshita.
Based on everything he understood about the young heiress—combined with the intelligence Hayama had reluctantly provided—Kaguya most likely wanted him to become her dog. Her subordinate. A useful piece on her board.
That look in her eyes during their confrontation hadn't been attraction. It had been acquisition.
The Shinomiya Family operated as a true zaibatsu now, their influence spreading through Japan's economic arteries like slow-moving venom. His position as a divine child, his alliance with Yukinoshita, the Suoh Family backing him through Yuki—all of it represented a consolidation of power that threatened Shinomiya's dominance.
No wonder Kaguya had announced the club review order the moment she'd arrived. She was building her own army, eliminating useless organizations while cultivating career-focused clubs that could produce loyal talent for her future empire.
The Shinomiya reach meant plenty of people would work for her with minimal incentive.
Even Hayama Hayato—golden boy, beloved by everyone—now operated under her command.
I'm overthinking this.
He pulled his attention back to the present, where Yukino was practically vibrating with determination.
"Fine." He reached into his bag, withdrawing the "cat bag" prop—a small dimensional pocket that functioned as portable shelter. "I'll cooperate."
The two cats emerged with synchronized mews, their fur soft as velvet beneath his fingers as he positioned them in the cardboard box. He showed them Kaguya's photograph, bribing them with dried fish until they understood: this human, be adorable.
They meowed in acknowledgment.
Yukino pulled him and the others behind a hedge thick with white flowers, their sweet perfume almost cloying this close. Yui pressed against him on one side, Asuna Yuuki on the other, their combined warmth a contrast to the cool spring air.
They waited.
Minutes stretched.
Then—
The click of expensive shoes on stone.
Kaguya Shinomiya rounded the corner with Ai Hayasaka at her side. The afternoon light caught the crimson ribbon in Kaguya's raven hair, illuminating her porcelain features like a painting come to life. Her movements were precise, economical, every step measured to project effortless superiority.
Hayasaka walked half a pace behind, her blonde hair pulled back in a professional style that matched her neutral expression.
On cue, the cats performed beautifully.
"Meow~... Meow~"
The sound was pitiful, plaintive, calculated to pierce even the coldest heart.
Kaguya paused.
Her dark eyes slid toward the box.
Two cats stared back at her with enormous, glittering eyes. They mewed again, softer this time, and padded toward her on silent paws. Their small bodies pressed against her calves, rubbing against the pristine white of her short socks, leaving traces of warmth and fur.
"Miss."
Hayasaka's voice was calm, her gaze seeking instruction.
Kaguya Shinomiya's attention drifted toward the hedge.
Behind it, Yukino Yukinoshita ducked so fast she nearly collided with Nozomi's chest. He steadied her with a hand on her shoulder, feeling the tension coiled through her muscles.
When Kaguya's gaze moved on, Yukino crept back up, her blue eyes peering through the leaves. Yui followed, then Asuna—three sets of curious eyes watching the scene unfold.
Nozomi joined them, genuinely intrigued despite his skepticism.
Kaguya Shinomiya stood perfectly still, the cats circling her ankles with increasing desperation.
Then her lips curved.
The smile was beautiful. Cold. Empty of anything resembling warmth.
"What a boring test."
Her voice carried clearly in the spring air.
"Ai. Deal with them."
"Yes, Miss."
Hayasaka bent gracefully, scooping both cats into her arms with practiced efficiency. They mewed in confusion, their small bodies squirming against her grip.
She walked to the nearest trash receptacle.
And dropped them inside.
The metal lid clanged shut.
Kaguya turned and walked away without a backward glance, her footsteps receding into the afternoon stillness.
Beside him, Yukino's hands clenched into fists so tight her knuckles went white.
"How... how could she treat them like that?"
Her voice shook with genuine fury—the righteous anger of someone who saw cats as sacred creatures deserving of worship, not disposal.
She lunged forward.
Nozomi caught her wrist.
"Don't." His grip was firm, grounding. "It's bait, Yukino. She wants to lure you out."
Yukino's breath came hard, her chest rising and falling with barely contained rage. But she forced herself to look—really look—at where Kaguya and Hayasaka had stopped.
They stood near a distant fountain, heads angled just slightly toward the trash receptacle.
Waiting.
Damn. Yukino's jaw tightened. She knew the entire time.
Nozomi released her wrist and focused on the cats, issuing a silent command through the connection the prop provided. Find Kanda Sorata. Suimei High. Go.
The cats squirmed from the trash, shook debris from their fur, and bounded off toward the neighboring academy.
Kaguya Shinomiya couldn't follow them personally—too obvious, too beneath her station. But she would certainly dispatch subordinates to track their destination.
They would find Kanda Sorata, the boy famous for collecting strays.
Whatever complications that created for him were not Nozomi's concern.
He guided Yukino and the others to a secluded alcove behind the science building, the stone walls cool against his back. The scent of nearby wisteria hung heavy in the air, purple blossoms cascading overhead.
Yukino paced, her heels clicking against the pavement in sharp, angry staccatos.
"Kaguya-san has no heart! How could she treat them so cruelly?" Her voice rose with each word. "Having her attendant throw them away like garbage—it's unconscionable!"
She's genuinely upset, Nozomi observed. The cat thing really is her weakness.
"Um..."
Yui raised her hand tentatively, her voice small but hopeful.
"How about we try with dogs?"
Her brown eyes sparkled at the possibility. If Kaguya-san happened to like dogs, then maybe—just maybe—Yui could connect with her as a fellow canine enthusiast. They could bond! Become friends! Share pictures of their pets!
Nozomi watched her optimistic expression with something approaching pity.
Yui Yuigahama had no idea what kind of opponent she was suggesting they approach.
Kaguya Shinomiya didn't make friends. She collected assets.
And the pink-haired girl beside him, with her open heart and eager smile, would never survive that particular game.
He reached out and ruffled her hair, ignoring her squeak of protest.
"Let's table that idea for now."
Yukino had already stopped pacing, her strategic mind clearly cycling through alternative approaches. The afternoon light caught the determined set of her jaw, the calculation sharpening her beautiful features.
Plan A had failed spectacularly.
Nozomi suspected Plans B through Z would follow suit.
But watching Yukino Yukinoshita throw herself against the immovable object that was Kaguya Shinomiya promised to be entertaining, at minimum.