"You shouldn't have come here." Mingzhe sighed and did his best to ignore the flinch Chenzhou couldn't hide completely.
At least Eirian couldn't hide her anger.
It gave Mingzhe the strength to stay the course.
Eirian's anger was better than sadness. It would burn away everything else until she was ready to deal with it, and by then, she could help Chenzhou deal with everything.
They would mourn Mingzhe together, and that would save them.
They'd probably come out of it stronger.
Mingzhe could live with that.
….
He could die with that.
And he had too.
Chenzhou stepped closer. Of the two of them, the three of them, Chenzhou was the heart.
Somehow, the First Blade of the Camelia was the gentlest of the three of them.
"We wanted-" Chenzhou stopped.
Eirian stepped up beside him. "We deserve to hear it from you. The truth."
Mingzhe smiled, sad. "You did. I told the truth." It took more than he'd expected to say to their faces when they were so close.
All he had to do was reach out, and he could touch them.
He wouldn't even have to stretch.
And yet somehow they were still so far out of reach.
Eirian didn't look completely convinced, but Chenzhou did.
"You really hate me that much?" Chenzhou's voice was quiet. Eirian's gaze snapped to him before turning back to Mingzhe, eyes blazing.
"You know that I don't." Mingzhe insisted. "You know that, but we weren't always close. I didn't always know… I was very young, not that that's an excuse. It's hard to see the entire picture when you're young. You get stuck on all the ways you're being wronged because you don't understand that sometimes, that's just what life does. There's so much more I know now that I wish I had known then. So many things I would have done differently. I could live another hundred years and never stop thinking about that, but there is no point in dwelling on it. It will not change anything."
"What was it the Yangs said that made you…" Chenzhou trailed off.
Mingzhe had been vague with Counsel Margrave because letting people draw their own conclusions was often more convincing than trying to force them to change their opinion. "I don't even remember now. It wasn't— they didn't just walk up next to me and ask me to join them. It was…slow. Hikari was my best friend. Spending time with his family was part of that. Somehow I wasn't, and then I was." Mingzhe shrugged. He wanted to do something more, but in this tiny cell, with bars between them, what he wanted wasn't really an option. "As I got older…well, it became clear that they were very wrong about some things and not wrong about others."
"Not-" Eirian sputtered.
"The Vault." Mingzhe pointed out gently. "The Bandri. How long did it take for all of this to be discovered? You are good leaders, you'll be great ones someday. If we'd all met now, things would be different."
"But they aren't." Chenzhou shook his head. "I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could bring this to me."
Eirian scowled, "You don't need to apologize." She turned to Mingzhe. "You could have brought any concerns to either of us at any time. You had a responsibility as a leader in the Crimson Army, and you… you always took it so seriously."
Mingzhe nodded. "I know. I am not making excuses. There were many times when I could have made a different choice. I didn't. I never wanted to put this on you two."
"But you did." Eirian snapped. Chenzhou put a calming hand on her arm. It was something he never would have done as recently as a few months ago, and as much as Mingzhe was disappointed that he couldn't be a part of it, it was enough to see that it was there. Between them.
"I'm sorry." Mingzhe meant it too, even if they didn't completely understand what he was apologizing for.
"If you give me a good enough reason…" Chenzhou trailed off.
"You know you can't do that." The fact that Chenzhou was even considering it was terrifying. "If you try to do that for me, it will leave an opening for the Yangs, and you cannot risk a single one of them surviving." The heat in his voice surprised them both. "You don't understand yet, but you will. Lady Yang is far more dangerous than you think, and the Camelia and Sorrow will never have peace."
"And you're leaving us to deal with her alone." Eirian sounded bitter now.
"Is this really the only path you see ahead of you?" Chenzhou asked. Their fingers tangled together.
Mingzhe could change his story now, and maybe Chenzhou could save his life. Eirian could get her cousin involved, and all chance of law and order and hope for the future would be gone.
"Yes."
~ tbc