Ren opened his eyes.
The forest smelled of wet earth and pine. Birdsong drifted somewhere far off — the same three-note call he had heard at least two hundred times before. Sunlight filtered through the leaves in thin, pale shafts. His back was against the same tree trunk, bark rough against his spine.
Peter lay sprawled a few meters away, face-down in the moss, chest rising and falling slowly. Unconscious. Just like always.
Ren stared at him for a long moment.
Then he looked down at his own hands. He held Peter's dagger and stared at his reflection in it. He knew what needed to happen, yet hesitation filled his mind. It wasn't just once or twice — but two hundred and thirty times. His wish of leaving this place had come true, but at what cost?
Ren took a deep breath and set his mind. In one swift motion he lodged the dagger in his skull. It was a swift death, but he wouldn't know the pain until he woke up again. He held his head while standing, then crumbled to the ground as the pain intensified. He knew fully it wasn't the pain of the hit — it was just his brain reacting. It was his body faking the pain. He took a deep breath and got up, heading toward Peter. He knew only that sharp dagger of his would be quicker and more painless to achieve this.
The forest was quiet. Too quiet. No birds. No wind. Just the soft crunch of his boots as he walked toward the tree line.
He knew where Peter would be.
Same tree. Same branch.
In one jump he reached the branch where Peter was scouting. Mid-air, Ren stretched his leg back and delivered a strong kick to Peter's head. Peter was turning around too late. Ren's foot landed on Peter's face with the impact sending him flying. He hit the tree, altering his trajectory as he landed on the ground unconscious.
Ren bent down, took the dagger from Peter's hand.
He looked at the blade. Still sharp. Still the same.
He turned it once in his hand. Then, without hesitation, he exhaled once and drove it in the center of his skull.
Huff… huff… huff…
Forest again.
He woke up.
"228," he whispered while breathing heavily. He held his head.
He stood up.
Walked to the tree.
Forest.
Same spot.
He stood.
Walked.
Peter on the branch. Ren sneaked up on him — same kick. Peter hit the ground knocked out. He grabbed the dagger and drove it through the skull.
Darkness.
Huff… huff… huff…
Forest.
"227."
Again.
Tree.
Dagger.
Skull.
Darkness.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Each time the same:
Wake up
Walk
Knock Peter out
Get the dagger
Angle it just right — fast, clean, through the thinnest part of bone
One sharp push
Nothing
No hesitation after the first few.
The pain never got easier — it just became familiar. A routine. A toll he had to pay.
He kept going.
Each stab was the same length. Same angle. Same moment of cold metal meeting bone, then warmth, then black.
He woke up. Yet his eyes were much colder and steadier. The weight of it all showed its toll on him. His mouth barely opened and he whispered:
"1."
Forest.
Same spot.
He stood.
Walked.
Peter on the branch. Yet Ren stopped, turned back and walked away. The change of direction he made was a first since he started, but it was a familiar one as he head in the direction of the village.
He reached the village entrance where the old man stood greeting him all those times before. He headed toward Tamara's house.
His mother: "Ren?"
He walked toward her and grabbed her arm as she hugged him. They both headed inside and entered the house. Ren stepped in and sat at the dining table. His mother closed the door and the curtains.
Her voice changed to Tamara's.
"Ren, what are you still doing here? I thought you were going to leave."
Ren looked down as if he was tired.
"I came to say goodbye. This is the last layer."
Tamara smiled.
"Good. It must have been hard for you."
Ren ignored her words.
"What will happen to you?"
She replied,
"This part of me will die."
Ren's hands shook as he pushed his hair back.
"What if there was a way to save you when I get out? What if there's a chance?"
Tamara walked over and embraced him while he sat.
"It's alright. I've already accepted it. You should also. You should not worry about me but yourself. Trying to wake up will be difficult. Have I not told you about the last layer?"
He interrupted her and said it with her:
"The last layer is the hardest. I've sensed it."
He sighed and stood up.
"I guess this is indeed goodbye."
She turned back.
"And what of our promise?"
Ren hesitated, looking at his hand.
"Don't worry. I already made up my mind."
He looked up at her.
"Can't change your look. I want to see my teacher one last time."
She laughed, but there was no joy within it. It was shallow as it gets.
"You know as well as I do that I can't do it and draw the attention of the dream world."
She wiped her tears while hiding it.
"I have another request for you. Can you look for my husband and my son when you get out?"
Ren's face got all emotional.
"Tamara… I didn't want to mention it, but I don't think it's possible."
She turned to him.
"I know you have things to take care of, but at least consid—"
She got interrupted by Ren.
"Tamara, it's been 20 years since this village was wiped out. The incident with your son might have happened even much earlier."
Her eyes opened wide. More tears ran down. She stumbled and fell, then started weeping, covering her eyes.
"How? How long have you known?"
Ren replied,
"Since you showed me your memories. I couldn't know for sure what was true… until I saw the 22nd watchtower guardian. He was the same one I saw before all of this—days before—but in your memories he was much younger. And with my friend repeating that your village was wiped 20 years ago, I knew for sure."
He held her by the arm and helped her stand.
"I didn't want to say anything, but since you are here, you must be alive out there, right?"
She walked forward toward the stairs.
"Goodbye, Ren. You can go now."
Ren looked down, hurt and sad. He walked toward the door but then stopped.
"I never asked you about your husband and children's names. Perhaps I can find out what happened to them. It's the least I can do for helping me."
She—who was going up the stairs—got down and sat by the steps.
"My husband was a farmer named Sebastian. My memory comes short when trying to remember him. As for my two sons… it's Lucius , the eldest and Orrin is the one who's currently..."
Ren heard a long, sharp ringing the moment she said those names. His knees shook and struggled to hold him. He dropped to his knees as the ringing intensified, isolating him from hearing what she was saying. He closed his eyes and all he could see was Knight Commander Gorann saying the word "Orrin, Orrin" in different tones and times.
Tamara rushed toward him.
"Ren! Ren!! Are you okay?"
Ren couldn't hear her through that ringing. He instantly got up and grabbed her by the neck, yelling:
"Where is he? Where is that bastard Lucius?"
Tamara slowly changed back to her original look. Ren—upon seeing her—dropped her and hysterically started looking up and down in all directions. He saw the dream world reacting to him: everyone started slowly gathering outside the house.
He opened the door and looked behind, seeing Tamara on the floor, grabbing her neck shaken and scared. He hesitated for a moment but sprinted out, avoiding the crowd outside. He ran with tears falling and headed toward the forest.
After a while of running, he saw Peter walking and looking left and right, calling his name. Ren increased his speed and knocked Peter out. He instantly grabbed his dagger and pointed it toward his head but stopped as the action of him hurting Tamara kept refreshing in his mind. But then he screamed and drove the dagger angrily through his skull.
His eyes felt heavier than usual. It felt like they had been shot for a while. He was lying on his back. The ground felt hard and cold. He opened his eyes. Everything was foggy. It wasn't the forest greeting him or the sky, but a stone roof. That roof looked familiar to him. He lifted his head, slowly and stiffly. He recognized the walls. He looked forward and saw someone standing. He got up as the person turned to him.
Ren's eyes opened wide with a terrified look. Lucius was standing there looking back at him. It was the same scars he had, same clothes. Ren bent his head lightly and realized the full picture: Lucius grabbing Shin by the neck with Shin fallen to his knees, defeated, as his eyes were rolled back to his skull, blood spilling from his mouth and nose.
Lucius smiled.
"You are awake. Too bad for your friend here."
Ren on his knees, eyes open, couldn't blink. He just sat there, in his mind questioning the reality he woke to.