HIM
The scene is so strange to me I freeze.
Adah holds Laura by the wrists, anger and fear marring Adah's face.
Laura's hands are turned up in surrender, one clutching an envelope fat with money.
She is half turned towards me, eyes searching me just as fervently as mine search her.
I had spent hours wondering how time would change her. Sleepless nights had me worrying that she would return to how she was when she first came here, a shadow wearing her skin. Empty. Hollow.
But no.
Unlike everyone else, Laura has only gained roundness. Her face is no longer all sharp angles, but rather soft peaks and valleys.
Her hair is pulled back, but not in her restricted bun. The curls are artfully sculpted into braids and twists, framing her face.
She's wearing a jacket of deep green that looks as though it was made for her.
She looks perfect.
Just as beautiful as the day I lost her.
I take one step forward, shaky and driven by shock.
But that's when I see it.
The thin gold band on her ring finger.
Somehow she knows, from my eyes, my expression, or something deeper, exactly what I see.
She tries to come towards me, but I'm already turned. Already closing the door and walking down the hallway.
"Aleksi wait—"
Her voice fades out as I get farther away. As I sprint up the stairs.
As I form a plan.
HER
"Aleksi wait—"
Pain shoots up my arm and I remember Adah holds me firmly in her grasp.
Her grip is iron, biting into my skin.
"I have to—"
"No." Her voice is so full of finality it stops my struggling.
Tears fill my eyes, and all the emotions I've been holding back for three years come crashing into me.
"Adah, please."
"What good do you think will come of this, Laura?"
I shake my head, chest aching.
"I—I don't know—"
"Laura." Desperation cracks her voice. "Our arrangement only works because of how little you interact with this place. How completely we follow the rules."
I swallow thickly. She's right.
"I can be here. I can give them the money and leave—"
"If you were just going to give them the money, you would have sent it," she hisses, angry now.
"I just thought…"
"Thought what? That if you came back here all the things that sent you away would magically be gone?"
I shake my head, unable to give her an answer. Yet she continues.
"You being here will just make things more difficult for everyone. Including you, Laura. Look at what it has already done! You are not the only one at risk here you…you selfish girl!"
Perhaps in the past, I would have yielded. But years of pain, of longing, push my next words from my mouth, unbidden.
"I am always selfless!" My voice breaks, sharp and raw. My whole body trembles.
"I am always the one to give things up, to make sacrifices. I am just…" I trail off as the fight drains from me. "I'm just so tired."
I go limp, and Adah finally lets go of my hands. They fall uselessly to my sides. It seems the fight has gone out of her as well. The fiery anger is gone, replaced by a cold sort of acceptance.
"I'll give them the money. Go back. Go home. We can talk about solutions at my next visit."
My knees feel weak.
"But…"
"Laura. Do you not remember how hard it was to leave last time? The longer you stay the harder it will be."
She's right.
I remember perfectly.
My last few days in Angloria were a blur. Packing, resigning, and finally, leaving in the dead of night.
Adah and I snuck down the empty streets, slipping into the docking station at the port.
I looked out at the endless water and a chill crept down my spine.
"I can't do this, Adah." I took a stumbling step back, shaking my head.
She grabbed my shoulders, forcing my eyes away from the open ocean.
"You can. You must."
I breathed deeply, but a shakiness lived in my bones.
"Remember who you are."
"Laura Prescott," I whispered.
"Remember why you're doing this."
I didn't need to say it out loud. It was with me always. Under my skin.
Ice in my veins, I nodded.
Numbly, I pulled a small letter from my pocket.
"Please, give this to Aleksi."
She looked at it hesitantly, so I didn't wait for her to refuse.
I shoved it into her hand, my fingers shaking. A ship horn blew, letting me know I must leave.
"I expect a letter in a month." I said firmly, reminding us both of our plan.
She nodded, and I turned, running for the gang plank.
I swallowed the reality of what I was doing before it could swallow me.
Because if I thought about what I was doing, about the consequences, I would never get on the ship.
So I forgot that I'd never see this place again, and stepped into my new life.
I don't tell Adah that I'm not sure if I can do it again. If I'll be able to force myself onto the ship this time.
Instead, I pick up my case, trying to shut out everything my heart is telling me.
Adah just nods, relieved.
It's short lived, though.
Because the door slams open, and I come face to face with everyone I've tried so hard to forget.