Gehrman was a man of knowledge. He did research, learned new things, experimented, and found the most efficient, ideal result.
So when he learned about the phenomenon that was the "bachelor party," he made sure to put in just as much work as he did for everything else.
Which is to say, he did a lot of research on alcohol.
Of course, drinks weren't needed to have a good time. However, this plan was not so much for him to celebrate, but rather to enjoy throwing a bunch of guys in a chaotic group, getting them relaxed and casual, and just watching the show.
And if he wanted the best possible scenario, he needed alcohol.
Unfortunately, there were a few issues. Namely that his friends were all Awakened, and were thus highly resistant to alcohol as it was technically a mind altering chemical that their increased constitution would defend against.
Therefore, drastic measures had to be taken. Fortunately, they lived in a world of science, and Gehrman was quite a miracle worker when he wanted to be.
Not to mention this was something already researched. Though Masters rarely got drunk, few ever attempted it, Awakened did so all the time.
So it only took one night to figure out everything that he needed to.
Which was good, because the actual wedding was only 6 days away, and he wanted to get everything ready and done a few days before then.
Satisfied with the math, Gehrman started to think up a plan for the night.
Of course, he also took a couple sips of his new drink.
The taste of alcohol was bad, that much could not be denied. This was especially the case when it had to be concentrated to such a degree that it could affect Saints and Masters.
Fortunately, Gehrman had become a great connoisseur of drinks, so he had managed to get the taste altered to a rather pleasant "wild berry" that was very enjoyable.
He still needed to experiment with some other drinks for those of lower Ranks, but Gehrman had already come up with a plan to circumvent that.
Usually the "groomsmen" (the group of guys that the party would include) planned the night. However, Gehrman was taking a different approach and designing everything himself.
Plus, the groomsmen did not know that they had been chosen yet.
That would have to change.
Using his communicator, Gehrman started a group chat.
Gehrman: "Congratulations, you have all been selected as my groomsmen for my upcoming wedding, but more importantly, the guys who are all going to get drunk with me because you are my very closest friends."
Caster: "I refuse. We are in a literal apocalyptic event right now. We don't have time for this bullshit."
Sunny: "As much as I hate to agree with Caster, he is right."
Kai:"I appreciate the invitation Gehrman, though I admit, I am a bit surprised to find myself here. If you want, I can see about setting up some music for the event?"
Gehrman:"Of course, Kai. You are a truly wonderful person and though we haven't spent as much time together, I do believe you are most worthy of being included in such a group. (P.S. you should all take a note from Kai and start being more excited about this).
Oskar:"I am not entirely opposed, but I do gotta ask who half these people are. All I know is Caster, and if the others are like him then I doubt it would be a good time."
Caster: "Fuck off."
Sunny:"Kai and I are much more pleasant people than Caster."
Caster: "Go to hell. I'm not doing this."
Gehrman:"Stop bullying Cater. He needs to improve his social life and this is a prime opportunity for such a thing. That goes for Mordret as well."
Sunny: "You better be joking."
Kai: "I would prefer that guy not be present."
Sunny:"I would prefer that guy dead."
Mordret:"Oh my, Sunless, you wound me so deeply. And here I thought we had bonded after killing that Titan together."
Sunny:"Screw off you murderous maniac. Where did you even get a communicator?"
Mordret:"Well, our good friend Gehrman gifted me one a little while ago, I suppose it was for this very purpose."
Oskar: "Hold up, did you say you killed a damned Titan? What the hell, are you guys famous?"
Kai: "Surprisingly no. Sunny keeps a low profile and Mordret…well he's more infamous than famous."
Sunny:"Yeah because he's a serial killer."
Mordret: "Such a hurtful title. I do believe all of us have killed at least one other human, no? Though I can't say the same for this Oskar fellow, and I suppose the one time Caster was supposed to kill someone he didn't quite manage it."
Caster:"Shut your mouth you filthy abomination."
Oskar:"I get the feeling that this group getting drunk with each other would lead to at least one person dying."
Gehrman: "It won't. Because I'll be there and I am quite confident that I can keep everyone in line no matter how drunk we get."
Kai: "I don't mean to be rude, but how would that even work? I didn't think Ascended could get drunk."
Oskar: "Wait, are you all Ascended?"
Mordret:"I suppose so. Are you not?"
Oskar: "No, I'm fucking normal."
Gehrman: "Oskar, you just passed the 1st Nightmare as a 50 year old, I wouldn't call that normal."
Oskar:"I'm 38! What the hell, did you think I was 50 all this time?"
Gehrman: "Kinda? Anyway, that is not important, as for your question Kai, I have managed to develop several concoctions with high enough alcohol concentrations to get us all tastefully tipsy."
Sunny:"How sure are you that it will just be tipsy. I don't have an interest in drinking in the first place, but if I'm actually impaired then it's a hard no."
Gehrman:"Oh? Have you decided to join in on the party and stop being a stick in the mud?"
Sunny:"As long as Mordret isn't there then it's fine, I guess."
Gehrman:"He's going to be there. It will be funnier if he is."
Mordret:"I'm not sure how I feel about that."
Caster:"I am not doing this no matter what."
Gehrman: "Caster I will literally kidnap you. This is an order from your sponsor. Plus, it is a very special occasion and this is the last time I will be a free man, you simply must celebrate with me."
Caster:"What on earth are you talking about?"
Gehrman: "BACHELOR PARTY!"
Sunny:"Gehrman, did you imbibe blood today?"
Gehrman: "No, but I did test out the alcohol concoction myself though. It works great by the way. Probably the greatest invention of all time. And if you don't share it with me, I WILL be passive aggressive to you all for 2 years. It will be hell, I promise."
Mordret:"Sounds like a splendid time. I will be sure to pick out a suitable vessel."
Oskar:"What the hell does that mean?"
Sunny: "He goes into people's souls, kills them, and wears their bodies like a skin suit."
Oskar: "What the actual fuck"
Kai:"It is very disturbing."
Caster: "It's evil."
Mordret: "What a lovely bunch of people you are."
Gehrman: "Indeed! It's gonna be a great time! REMINDER: I will kidnap anyone who doesn't show up on time! It'll be in New Yharnam so I'll come pick everyone up individually."
Gehrman put down his phone and looked around the room.
It was spinning a bit.
"Oof that drink kicked in fast."
Old Gehrman had been a moderate consumer of beer and ale back in Yharnam, however with the rise of the Old Blood, the alcohol business got rather scarce since that Blood was far more intoxicating.
Still, he was fairly confident he could handle his alcohol.
Then he remembered that he was in Dorian's body. Though his physical form had been altered several times over, and though his unique Soul seemed to give this body more traits of Old Gehrman and Johann, it was still 17 (oh so close to 18).
"Wait, am I underage drinking?"
The thought worried him for far longer than it should have. The true and factual answer was it didn't matter.
Who was going to stop him?
Perhaps Ki Song could, but he somehow imagined that his mother-in-law had bigger things to worry about.
…Seishan could.
She couldn't force him to stop, but what if she thought it was dumb. Everyone else thought it was dumb (except Kai, Oskar, and technically Mordret) but they were little bitches so it didn't matter.
He pulled out his Communicator again, ignoring the bickering in the groomsmen group chat he had just made.
Gehrman: "Seishan, would you mind if I consumed copious amounts of alcohol a few days before the wedding to celebrate our union?"
Seishan:"I…don't know how to respond to that. You do not have to ask me to do such things, I trust you will be safe. However, I do find it odd that you would do this without inviting me."
Gehrman:"Sorry, boys only. It's a bachelor party. I am very excited. Perhaps you could do a bachelorette party? I have been going through old internet archives and these were both common happenings before weddings in ancient times."
Seishan:"I have not heard of it. I will have to look it up. I wish you luck in your outing though, be safe."
Gehrman:"Sounds great! I won't be doing strippers by the way, but if you want to hire a guy go right ahead. I think Revel could use it based on what you've told me."
Seishan: "What?"
Gehrman:"Don't worry about it, see you soon, beautiful lady."
Gehrman set his communicator down again.
"Probably shouldn't have sent that one about the strippers." Gehrman frowned and then looked back at what he sent. "Did I just call her 'beautiful lady?'"
Gehrman looked back at the sheets strewn across on his desk.
"I might have screwed up the math a bit. Oh well, that probably won't be too big of a problem."
…
Seishan stared at her communicator for a long moment. The words Gehrman sent looked up at her with a certain amount of heat.
"Beautiful lady…" Seishan whispered.
Then she put her phone down and sat down on the unused bed in her quarters. She would be going back to Ravenheart, like she did every night, in a short while. In fact, Seishan was about to leave when Gehrman sent him that strange series of messages.
Gehrman was starting to become a problem.
Not because he was doing anything bad, not because he wasn't good to be around anymore, but rather, he was starting to take up too much room in Seishan's head.
It wouldn't have been a problem if Eunbin hadn't casually recommended sending him a suit one time. The idea seemed great at the time, but when she saw him…
In hindsight, her error was obvious. It was not so much that the suit looked amazing on him. Which it did. The way it clung to his shoulders was very gratifying to look at.
Instead, the switch in dress made her reevaluate him.
He had looked like a boy when they had first met – which was something she had long sworn not to think about – and so she had never really found him attractive.
That was, until that very moment.
She hadn't noticed it until then, but something in her mind reset then. Perhaps it was because this was their first true "romantic date" or maybe it was the scene, maybe it was the suit. In all honesty it was probably a combination of all those things.
However, all those things led to one immutable truth: he had grown.
It was supernatural, and no one really seemed to acknowledge how he went from looking like a teenager to someone in their young 20s after Transcending.
She had noticed it after he Asecended as well, but had just assumed that it was because he had changed a lot in his body's puberty.
But no, there were actual changes down to the bone structure.
Perhaps it was those other souls that made up his own existence bleeding through, or perhaps it was one of the countless other oddities about him.
None of that mattered. What mattered was that he was handsome. Of course, all Saints were handsome or beautiful, it was impossible for them not to be. However, surrounded by those beauties all her life, Seisahn had grown a bit desensitized to them.
Which was why it caught her so off guard when her heart actually skipped a beat when looking at him.
He had walked in with a simple smile only to freeze up when she saw her.
That felt good. That felt damn good. It was a bit of a rush, to be honest. And she wasn't entirely sure why.
There was something more though, that became clear to her as they talked. When he questioned whether she was being genuine, it made her upset, but also a tiny bit sad. As if he couldn't consider trying something more despite his physical reaction.
However, that was proven wrong.
When she leaned in to kiss him, it surprised her how nice it was. It felt ridiculously natural. And it was also very pleasant for other reasons.
Unfortunately, all these things were taking up too much space in her mind.
The wedding was a big deal, but it was also an opportunity to take out some champions of Valor.
Not to mention she was in charge of developing plans to deal with Valor once they arrived in Antarctica, which would be just days after that wedding.
And yet…
She groaned and picked up the communicator. Looking at the messages she tried to parse out some sort of hidden meaning.
There wasn't any.
That was also something nice about him. He said what he meant, and there were never any ulterior motives.
"Focus," she said out loud.
Reading the words again, she shook her head.
"A stripper? That can't mean what I think it means."
She suddenly had the image of a poor dancer plucked from the Waking World doing a routine in the great halls of the ancient Jade Palace, a place forged by a god.
A smile tugged at her lips at the thought.
"I guess I will look into this 'bachelorette party.' It would only be fair to indulge if he is going to as well."