Hours Later
"That is just pathetic." I'm perched high in a tree while staring down at a woman who is in an unconscious heap on the ground. It's Koyuki, she must have escaped somehow. I'm almost impressed, she got away from not only the Konoha shinobi but my minion as well. "You escaped and ran away. Do you really think that is going to change anything? You think that the Konoha shinobi are that feeble and weak willed?"
"Do you not see the hypocrisy in those words?" A faint voice whispers into my ear. It's not a voice I've never heard before, in fact it is one I'm very familiar with. It's Tsunade's voice.
"Holy shit I'm actually crazy now." I say to myself. "I'm hearing voices in my head that's not the Jiongu. I'm actually crazy."
"Yes, it only took me this long to twist and turn you." Another voice speaks in my head but this one is sinister and evil. It's Orochimaru. "I'm so happy you've become like me."
"I'm nothing like you." I snarl out. "Why the fuck am I responding? You don't exist. I'm imagining things."
"But you are like me." Orochimaru continues. "Isn't life so much more fun when you don't care what happens to others?"
"I do care for others. I'm nothing like you. I refuse to fall down to your level." I wage war with the imaginary voice.
"You used to." Tsunade softly chimes in. "You used to be someone I admired, the representation of all the good Konoha can offer. Someone willing to sacrifice everything for their friends."
"I'm trying to stop a fucking war!" I snarl out. "I care so much about people that I'm planning to stop a war before it starts! You don't get to say I don't care!"
"But what about the people of this country?" Tsunade brings them up. "They're fighting a war right before you yet you do nothing. What caused you to fall so far from the shinobi I respected?"
"I know!" Orochimaru cuts in. "It was me! I took him and made him like me! We're monsters in arms!"
"NO!" I'm fucking insane. I'm arguing with voices in my head. "I am not like you! I will never be like you! I want nothing to do with my family's murderer!"
"Kukukuku, it's far too late for that!" Orochimaru laughs in glee. "After all, you're my child!"
"I AM NOT YOUR CHILD! I WILL NEVER BE YOUR CHILD!" My roar echoes across the barren tundra.
"Then why do you act like him?" Tsunade asks of me. "Why is it that when faced with a problem you react exactly like your father would?"
"He's not my fucking father!" I snarl out.
"Isn't he? Because that's what I see." Tsunade's words cut me to my core. "I don't see you, I see another Orochimaru."
"I am better than him! I am not him! I am nothing like him!"
"Then prove it." Tsunade demands. "Your words mean nothing, your actions do."
"And right now you're acting exactly how I want you to!" Orochimaru happily says. "You're only thinking about yourself and what you need! Just like your father! Just like me!"
"ENOUGH!" I shout out and I grab a kunai. Then I bury the blade into my temple without even a wince of pain. "I am not crazy! I do not have voices in my head! What the fuck am I doing responding to them like that? No! I'm not crazy. I'm not."
With a sharp tug I pull out the kunai.
"Okay." I look at the kunai that was just in my head. "Maybe I'm a little crazy. None of that shit was normal."
...
Hours Later
"This is pointless." I sigh out from my high perch in the trees. "Are they ever going to find her? She's going to be at risk for frostbite."
~Host Naruto is approaching.~
"About fucking time." I growl out.
I watch from my high perch as Naruto stops a few strides away from the fallen princess.
"How long are you going to fight this?" He asks her and miraculously she begins to stir. "Come on. Everyone is waiting."
Naruto doesn't wait for a response, he bends down and picks her up. He starts walking them back towards where everyone is waiting.
"How long are you going to fight this?" Tsunade asks me. "All they want is their friend back."
"Oh my god I am fucking crazy. It's happening again." I'm half tempted to slam my head into a tree. Repeatedly. "Shut up. Just shut up."
I begin the delicate process of tailing the two people. Doto is after Koyuki so I'm sticking near her until he shows up.
"My how far you've fallen." Tsunade condescendingly says in my head. "Reduced to stalking after your own friends. You could be down there right now. You could be the hero that found the Princess. Instead you're the coward that ran away."
"I am not a coward."
"You are." Tsunade assures me. "If those who have the strength to make a difference do nothing then they are cowards. They're too afraid to step up to the challenge and instead step aside like weaklings."
"I am not weak!" I snarl at her.
"Chakra and jutsu does not equal strength." Tsunade lectures me. "True strength is never giving up. Never succumbing to defeat. Always striving to move forward. You hold a great amount of power and talent at your fingertips but you are lacking in strength."
"That's not what I've taught him." Orochimaru cuts in. "He knows from my teachings that power rules over all. That you can't depend on others that the only person you can rely on is yourself. He's taken my lessons to his heart! All five of them!"
"But you are not his sensei." Tsunade speaks. "You're merely a stepping stone, his true sensei is Kakashi. And Kakashi imparted a very important lesson to Alvarcus. One that he remembers from before they ever met in this world."
"Those who abandon the mission are scum but those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum." I recite from memory. "I have not abandoned them."
"Then what do you call this?" Tsunade asks.
"That's it!" I snarl out at a quiet volume as I continue to tail Naruto and Koyuki. They're heading into a tunnel and judging by the tracks left in the snow the rest of the movie crew and Konoha gang are on the other side. "I've had enough of this bullshit gimmick of angel and devil on my shoulders!"
"Yes that's right! Ignore her! You don't need friends, they'll just be in the way. All you truly need is unrivaled power." Orochimaru doesn't listen to me and continues talking anyways. "All you need is me."
"I do not need you. I am using you." I say back to the voice in my head. God dammit I'm insane.
"You're becoming him." Tsunade points out. "You've stopped caring about people. Isn't the real reason behind this trip to calm yourself down and start to care again? The sword was just a ruse for Orochimaru. Even you recognize that you're becoming like Orochimaru."
She's right. That was the entire point of going on this trip. It was to collect myself and start caring again.
"That's never going to happen." Orochimaru snorts. "If he cared about people he'd be down there right now helping the Konoha gang. But instead he's running across a mountain to beat Naruto and Koyuki to the exit. At the very least he'd do something like planning to save the people of the Land of Snow but there's not even a single thought of that in his head. It's like he's afraid to care about anyone again!"
"Alvarcus why are you afraid to care about people again?" Tsunade asks softly.
"Because it hurts so much to lose them." I admit and my throat starts to block up and my eyes start to water. "I've lost so many people. Each one of them rips out a piece of me, it's the worst kind of pain imaginable. It surpasses everything else I've been through. I don't want to go through that pain again. I don't want to watch as they die before me. I'm afraid to care about people because I don't want to lose anyone else."
"So you're sacrificing your humanity to spare yourself pain?" Tsunade gently asks. "Alvarcus the bonds that you make with people will last lifetimes. Just because you can lose someone does not mean you will."
"How can you say that?" I weakly ask the voice in my head. "If I might get hurt again then why even form the bond in the first place?"
...
A/N:
If we hit 500 Power Stones by the end of this week, I'll drop an extra chapter as a thank-you!
Thanks for the support! ;)
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