It was a regular day in MURICA 🦅 🇺🇸 💥 🦅 🇺🇸 💥 and Michelle was surfin' the web with his good friend Tempest cardboard standee.
Suddenly, right in the corner of his eye Michelle noticed an ad selling kinder surprise eggs.
"Holy shit, tempest! I haven't had one of these in ages since Attorney Admiral President God banned them." Michelle said
Tempest said nothing because he's currently made of cardboard.
"Aw you're right, they're illegal I can't have em. This must be the dark web." Michelle sadly said.
"Who cares bro, the best Minecraft mods come from the dark web. It's perfectly ethical to use it." Foivos, who was also in his house for some reason, said.
"True, all my best material of marginalized groups getting beaten to death came from the dark web. It's chill in there." Added Penis.
"I feel like those two things aren't very comparable but okay." Said Foivos.
"Well, I'm convinced. We're going to the dark web!!"
And so it was. Michelle clicked on the advert and it took him to an eBay auction in darkweb.com where he bid his entire house. He would have gotten it if someone hadn't bid the charred remains of hamala karris-bot from chapter 5.
"Aw shucks. That was the last one." Michelle pouted.
"Worry not Michelle, as I will use my Personality Waves™️ to triangulate the position of whoever bought that last kinder surprise egg." Said Personality Guy. He then stared very hard at the computer screen and started making some inhuman noises.
"I've found it! The thief is currently located in the newly refurbished dodecahedronal office, in the newly renamed Jesus Christ DC." Personality Guy said.
And so it was. Michelle got on his trusty steed, Dave the Dyanosaure, and they headed over to Jesus Christ DC, where of course, they discovered the culprit was none other than...
"Me, Attorney Admiral President God!" God said.
"But why?! I thought banned kinder surprise eggs." Michelle asked God.
"It's true I did that, but only so I can have them all to myself. You see, the other all-powerful beings of the SW Omniverse™️ don't seem to take me seriously, so I though if I could have a complete collection of every kinder surprise toy, they'd finally take me seriously, since none of them have ever done something as magnificent as this." God explained.
"And with this Mustard Murderer figurine from that last egg I bought, I finally have them all!" God declared.
"Oh no you don't!" Michelle declared, and got Dave the Dyanosaure to bite God's ankle.
" I put my house on that egg, and not even God's will can stop me from having it!" Michelle added.
"Domain Expansion: Abysmal Dog shit!!" Michelle shouted, and suddenly the two of them were suddenly trapped in a toilet bowl.
"Do you realise what you've done???" Good screamed.
After that, SW productions got sued by both Jujutsu Kaisen and Kinder, so God had all his toys confiscated. Oh and Michelle forgot Domain Expansion. Now we have to call it Land Distribution, or something. Nanami wouldn't stand for this.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0! MY ADULT TOYS!" God screamed after the lawsuit concluded.
"That's what happens when you face the might of my Dom- LAND DISTRIBUTION." Said Michelle, who had eated some spare eggs off screen. He then epically walked away into the sunset.
"It's really weird when we don't have useless lines that serve no purpose in quick succession." Foivos said.
"It's somewhat weird, yeah." Said Penis.