Snowflake licked the master's leg. Master was nice. They scratched Snowflake, and gave them nice cold water. Cool water was great. Cold was comfort. Cold was nice. Cold kept the bad thoughts from spreading. Bad thoughts make mind go pain. Snowflake did not like when bad thoughts go pain.
"Do you think Molly's okay?" The girl master liked asked. "She's been pretty quiet since the softball incident."
"I hope so. It's not really her fault." Master sighed. "I shouldn't have agreed to use my powers on people to begin with. We should have known that the happy cloud had a draining element to it."
"To be fair, we've never tested out continuous exposure before." The girl noted. "And all experiments are guaranteed to fail on the first try at least 78% of the time."
"If I knew there was a 1% chance of hurting you, I wouldn't have done it at all." Master moped.
"Steven, you're the one who said you didn't want to be afraid." The girl tried to comfort him. "I'm happy that you felt comfortable enough to use your powers, regardless of the less than ideal end result."
"Even if it made you pass out for half a day?" Master asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh please… softball already does that." She waved off. "I'm honestly just surprised I didn't try burning down the school this time."
"I'm surprised you didn't attack Andrea again. You had a bat on hand and she was like, three feet away." Master remarked with a smirk.
"We both know that you're always more likely to do that." The girl master liked chuckled.
"...Not always..." Master blushed with embarrassment. "She just… gets on my nerves. Although not as much as Scratch has lately." He mulled to himself. "I'm not an angry guy, am I?"
"I feel it's less angry and more vengeful." She commented. "Extremely targeted."
"Good. I can live with being vengeful." Master nodded as Snowflake got closer to the cold comfort. "Aww, you're an affectionate little gal, aren't you?"
"How IS Snowflake adjusting?" The girl asked. "I imagine she's not exactly a typical pet to look after."
"Ah… better than Pearl is." He pointed to the long lady in the distance holding something that smelled of lightning on top of a long tube. "She has a taser attached to a rifle and has just been aiming it at them ever since."
"...I'm honestly surprised no one's called her out for standing out so much." the girl muttered. "I can buy people believing her skin is normal, but the way she conducts herself sometimes…"
"I think most people just assume it's rude to ask. That or they're scared of her quiet nature, either is plausible at this point." Master speculated. "But yeah, Snowflake's been great. The only thing she seems to get hungry for is, ironically enough, ice cubes. I just give her a couple, and she's like a puppy, aren't you, my little snow devil?" Master rubbed the nice cool hands on Snowflake's face.
"Ggrrrr." They licked his hands.
"Hehehehe. I tried other food, but she just barfs it up."
The girl looked her over. "How do you know it's a she?"
"According to Pearl, gems don't have genders. They just look very feminine and took she/her pronouns to stop confusion." Master explained. "And Snowflake is more or less gender neutral, so it fits either way."
"Fair enough. Hopefully her cuteness is enough to snap Molly out of her stupor." Girl hoped. "I only hope she hasn't resorted to doing something extreme."
"It's Molly." Master responded. "She is probably just waiting for an excuse to jump back into smiles." They smiled. "She's probably trying to convince Scratch to have a puppet show musical as we speak-"
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" An annoying voice that bothered Master rang in the air as they turned to the source, where the floating blob had cotton on his hands, moving them around where the other girl was... laying on the ground. "To get to the other side!"
"Hey, I cross the road whenever I want!" A cloth chicken stated. "You don't tell me when to cross, buster!"
"Course I do, I'm the cross guard, now stay back miss chicken, you're in violation of the poultry street crossing act."
"Oppresor! I'll peck your eyes out!" The two clothes began fighting each other as other girl… just laid on grass without a reaction. "Come on Molls, this is my A-Grade material."
"Mmm…" The girl hummed indifferently.
"Gaaah, sure! I lose and I just walk it off. You lose and you make it everyone else's problem! How am I in the wrong for being happy my job's going alright!?" The blob whined. "The inhumanity of it all! It's rigged against me, I tell you. Rigged!"
"...Well you were half right." First girl whispered to Master. "Although seeing Scratch willingly put on a puppet show… is very strange."
"You're telling me." Master agreed as they walked up to other girl. "Heeey Molly, how's your weekend going?" He waved to the girl on the grass.
"Mmm…"
"You know no one blames you for what happened, right?"
"Exactly." The blue blob said. "They just blame Bluey here." Master frowned at that, so Snowflake froze blob. "...Yo-you-you trained tha-that thing way t-too quickly."
"Molly, look, we all agreed to the plan." First girl stated. "It's not just you. And it isn't the first time Steven's powers have gone out of control. We never told you about the time he tried to use his lighting to power my phone."
"Or the time I caused the blue version of the Black Plague." Master shivered.
"Or the time he accidentally flooded my room with cake batter." First girl teased him.
"Or the time he got them stuck in a bubble together." The blob added.
"Or the time I shot Scratch into space."
"...Wait, you never-" Master stretched out the blue blob and flung him over the house. "This counts as overkill if you ask meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" The blob screamed as he faded away.
"Point is, stuff like this happens all the time." Master continued. "It's just one of those things we'll eventually look back on and laugh at. Little noodle incidents we try to hide from other people but eventually have no choice but to explain."
"...I know. I'm just… trying to push through." The downtrodden girl said. "I never caused a softball team to nearly die."
"Nobody died, Molly." Master pointed out. "And you can't live with that kind of guilt… trust me, I've been living with it for the last seven years, it isn't healthy."
"I know, I know.." New girl sighed. "I'll get over this eventually… I… I just can't rush this…"
Master stared at the girl for a minute, before a smile came to his face. "Wanna go see an ancient alien spaceship crash full of artifacts?"
The girl's mouth opened wide, her eyes sparkling. "DO I!?"
"Well yeah, that's why I asked." Master reiterated.
"Uh, heck YEAH I do!" New girl cheered. "This is literally the type of thing I've made my bucket list for!" She took out a list… which rolled across the streets and to the other sidewalk. "So, where are the four of us going?"
"Actually, I won't be able to attend it." The old girl spoke up. "It's Scrabble Night, and us Torres take it very… very seriously." Why did Snowflake feel fear?
"...How afraid should I be?" New girl gulped.
"Very." Master piped in. "I once played Scrabble with her… I didn't last two rounds." Master shivered. "Then Pearl got involved and things just… escalated… so many words… so many letters…"
"Circulatory System!" The blob screamed.
"AAAHHH!!" The master screamed, ice flowing out. "Would it KILL you to NOT scare me for one day, just ONE day!?"
"Yes, yes it would." They said. "I have numbers to keep up, the town's been getting a bit too cheery lately."
"And we're going to keep it that way!" The new girl swore with a grin. "We'll get back to our enhappification plans right after we get back from the cool alien crash site!"
"Wait, plans? You have PLANS for this stuff!?"
"Oh yeah. Five thousand of them stored away in my room."
"...I'm staying behind to destroy them!" The blob flew off.
"Oh no, you won't, Scratch!" New girl crossed her arms smugly as the blob glowed, and was immediately pulled back to her side.
"Gah! Curse this curse! What cruel, horrible creature did this to me!?" The blob wailed.
"You did." New girl smiled.
"Molly's happy and Scratch is miserable… this day is already improving." Master shook his head fondly. "Come on Molly, we have to walk around town a bit in order to ditch Pearl, then we can use the Warp Pad."
"I can hear you, My Diamond!" The tall lady cried out from the other side of the field.
"Are you going to stop me from using the Warp Pad!?" He called back.
"...No, but I strongly advise heavily against it!"
"Your advice is taken under consideration!" The master assured her. "Well, guess we can just take the Warp Pad right now."
"Sweet! I'm going to use the warp pad!" New girl jumped in the air. "...Quick question, what's the 'Warp Pad'?"
"A bunch of pads built six thousand years ago. If a gem uses it, they can teleport to any other pad they can clearly visualize in their head." Master explained. "A lot of them are damaged, but sometimes Pearl uses them to take me and Libby on little field trips so I can learn more about gem history."
"And one of those places is a crashed space ship?" New girl looked like she was barely able to stay still.
"Yeah. She didn't take me inside because humans aren't able to survive, but we can look around the outside of it." Master stated.
"Sweet! That's not concerning in the least!" New girl smiled without a hint of hesitation.
"...What does it take for you to tone it down?" Blue blob grumbled. "I don't get you, kid, I really don't."
"Don't worry, Scratch, you will once you stop being so grumpy all the time." New girl laughed. "Onwards, Paranormal Pals, to adventure!"
"Paranormal Pals?" First girl raised an eyebrow.
"It's got alliteration!"
"Eh, still feels like it needs work." Master gave a 'so so' hand sign.
"I will get this down by the end of the year, this I swear!!"
"This curse better not last long..." The blob grumbled.
========================================================================
Scratch immediately felt the heat rise as they got out of that weird warp thingy. Ugh, that felt so unnatural, which was saying a lot coming from him! "Why is it so hot?"
"I thought you knew everything about me?" Bluey raised an eyebrow.
"Just because I scare you, kid, doesn't mean I know your life story." He crossed his arms. "It's a completely impersonal job."
The kid rolled his eyes. "Well, if you MUST know, you selfish monster, the ship is blocking a volcano." He pointed to a giant round wall of metal… on top of a smoking rock.
"A VOLCANO!?" Scratch wanted to make these kids miserable... But LAVA!? He did NOT sign up for lava! This was too much, even for him! "Bluey, this is one hundred percent without a doubt-!"
"The coolest thing EVER!" Molly cheered like a kid who just got a birthday cake. Her positivity must take up the space her brain should be, 'cause NO normal kid would be happy about this! "Quick, let's explore inside!"
That statement made both his eyes and Steven's grow like dinner plates and grab her arms at once. "Are you crazy!?" They both cried out incredulously
"I said we're exploring the outside because you CAN'T SURVIVE the inside!" Bluey reminded her.
"But, alien spaceship!" Molly whined. "It NEEDS to be explored!"
"If you go inside, your skeleton will melt, along with your flesh!" Scratch pointed out while knocking on his head. "Does that register in your head? Is the concept of danger incapable of getting in!?"
"Of course it is, I still have my fear of spiders after all." Molly waved it off. "But Steven has those freezing powers. He could, like, freeze the door or something."
"My powers are emotional." He stressed. "And that's not mentioning the side effects."
Molly blinked. "What side effects?"
"When I make happy clouds, I get a dry throat, when I freeze stuff, my body heats up, when I use too much electricity, I feel tired and drained." He listed them. "When I'm miserable… actually, nothing happens, which is weird."
"What happens is that he makes my life easier." Scratch threw his two ghostly cents in. "But seriously Molls, don't do this. It's dumb. even for you."
"Awww..." Molly pouted, before she grinned that dumb upbeat smile. "On the upside, it IS heartwarming to see you two agreeing on keeping me safe. You're becoming best friends already!"
Scratch and Steven took one look at each other... And they simultaneously gagged in response. "Molly, your imagination never fails to sicken me."
"Gross." Bluey coughed some mist into the ground, which disintegrated. "So gross… anyway, we're free to explore outside. There's some interesting designs on the ship-"
FWWWWOOOOSSSSHH
They all turned to see... Snowflake blasting the ship with ice in an endless barrage of snow and flurry. "...Woof!"
"Yeah! Way to go, Snowflake!" Molly beamed as she hugged the beastly creature. "Who's a fluffy girl? Who's an adorably fluffy girl? You are, yes, you are."
"...Exactly how brainless is that thing supposed to be?" Scratch asked Bluey.
"Don't know. As long as she's sentient enough to blast you, I'm content with not exploring that question further." Bluey smirked as he walked ahead of them. "Alright, I guess as long as Snowflake's keeping things relatively cool, we can explore the ship." He walked to the door, pressing a hand against it. "Of course, I need to figure out how to get in."
"Oooh. I'm on it." Molly looked around. "Not seeing anything we can use… Scratch, see if you can open the door from the inside."
"Fine, but I want compensation later." He phased through the walls, looking around the place. Very dark, smoky, a thin layer of ice from the outside…
ZAAAAPPP
And he was instantly zapped out of the wall by a burst of electricity. "Wooooooh… birds… and the buns… barapaka…"
"Scratch!? Are you okay!?" Molly rushed to him, a look of concern etched on her face.
"I'mmmmm ooookay dokay, Scratchy is a peach for reach! I'm swiiiinging in moonlight." He sang deliriously
"...It's sunny out." Bluey said in confusion.
"Yous… yous a party pooper." Scratch blew a raspberry (oh, what wouldn't he give to have one right one).. "Every party needs a pooper. That's what the party needs…"
"Molly, you live with him, what's wrong with the monster?" The pooper asked.
"Dunno. He's acting like Mom did after she came back from her first wine night with some girls back in New York."
"...Are you implying electricity gets ghosts drunk?" The pooper looked confused.
"Oooh Im drunk Alls right. Drunk on your sad vibe. Honestly, Bluey, you need to treat yaself better, you really dos. Be like Mally Magoo here… get... Super hungry on being happy an stuff.." He leaned on the two of them. "Seriously though, you two... You're my best friends…"
"I am so disturbed beyond words right now." The pooper shuddered.
"He admitted we're friends deep down." Molls cried happy tears. "Best friends, even!"
"Being drunk doesn't mean he's telling the truth, it just means he's not thinking about what he's saying." Steven leaned on the door. "My dad sometimes gets drunk and says he wants to date some pink lady, but I know he'd never go throu-"
"Diamond Biosigniture recognized, access granted." A hand scanner glowed as the wall opened up.
"Heeey… Bluey's got magic hands." Scratch clapped his. "Whoohoo! Way to go, Bluey! I knews yous could dos it!"
"Seriously, getting support from you is like getting support from Andrea. It's just unpleasant all around." Steven looked into the ship. "Well, I guess there's nothing stopping us from exploring the ship."
"Heck yeah! Come on, Steven!" Molly pulled the boy inside the ship by his arm. "It's Adventure Time!" She raised a fist in the air. "Oh man, if only I brought my cheeseburger backpack, that would really complete the adventure vibe."
"Why do you have a cheeseburger backpack?" Steven asked as they looked around, the puppy trailing behind them and freezing the ground.
"Why WOULDN'T I have a cheeseburger backpa-AHHHH!" Molly began slipping on the ground. "Ice is slipperyyyy!!!"
"I got you." Steven held the girl by the collar of her shirt. "I've been walking on ice ever since I was three years old. I could skate across a frozen lake barefoot and still feel comfortable."
"Do you even feel hot showers?" Molly asked with curiosity.
"It's part of having this gem in my chest." He pointed to his chest. "Whereas most people feel hot, I only feel lukewarm." The boy looked around. "Pretty sure I'd still die from lava, though. Still not something I want to try."
"What about Pearl?" Molly asked. "Would she die from Lava? Or is that a moot point 'cause she's made out of rock?"
"No, she would. Lava is melted rock, and Pearls, while they don't melt, WILL decompose after being exposed to heat if it's intense enough." Steven explained. "If there's one thing Pearl's drilled into me, it's gem biology."
"You said Pearls, plural." Molly pointed out. "Are there more people like Pearl? As in... more than one Pearl?"
"That's what Pearl told me. I've never actually met another Pearl." The boy revealed. "Actually, aside from Pearl, I've never met another gem."
"Does Snowflake count?" The girl asked, looking at the fluffball spreading ice across the floor.
"Okay, I've never met another gem like me or Pearl." He clarified. "Heck, according to Pearl, I'm the only human gem hybrid that exists. Gems don't have a habit of having relationships with, and I quote, 'organics'."
"Then you are the chosen one, here to help both sides understand each other." The girl theorized with a smile.
"Oooor he's one of a kind." Scratch chuckled drunkenly. "A miracle that will never ever, occur in all the universes worldes… bazooozo."
"...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm on Scratch's side on this one." Steven chuckled self deprecatingly. "I can barely choose what to eat for breakfast, let alone a way to solve the rift between Gems and humans. I'm not chosen for anything."
"Come on, be more optimistic than that." Molly pouted before taking a good look at the ship. "Everything here is so sci-fi-y. It even has little Sci-Fi bugs." She picked up what looked like a jeweled bug. "Heh, it's actually a lot cuter than a normal earth bug."
"Yeah, sci-fi, not magic. Destiny and fate are more fantasy things." Bluey argued.
"What about Star Wars?" Molly countered. "That has destiny in it."
"That was science fantasy. Science fiction is about science that doesn't exist but could theoretically exist. Like aliens, and machines that people think about but don't have the technical know-how to actually build."
"Sciency magic." Scratch chuckled. "Just like magicians."
Molls suddenly grabbed his nose and pulled him in close to her face. "Do NOT compliment those evil, conning magic frauds!"
"...You hate magicians?" Steven smirked.
"It's not funny! Magicians don't have magic! They're swindlers who TRICK you into thinking magic is real! And then when you try to find the coin behind your ear… you realize it's not there, you DON'T have an infinite hole behind your ear full of money that you were going to use to build an orphanage for puppies! I WANTED TO MAKE THE PUPPIES HAPPY, STEVEN!" She shook the boy like a rag doll.
"Magicians bad! Message received! Message received!" He cried out.
"Hello!?" A woman rang out. "Is someone there!?"
"It's the taco lady back for money, scram!" He grabbed the kids and phased through the wall without looking back.
"Wait, we can't go intangible! We're still here!" Ah, the kids were safe in his arms, goodie.
========================================================================
Garnet was usually comfortable doing a solo mission. She often did them because she was normally the only gem around with a cool head. Rose was their leader, but she was prone to get a bit… flighty at times and not take the situation too seriously, even when it called for it.
Pearl… well, she never did anything without Rose, so that was never an option to begin with. The gem was never good at taking her own decisions. Something that, believe it or not, got a little worse in the last 5000 years.
And besides, Garnet was never truly alone. She had Ruby and Sapphire with her. Their love holding her together, and being with her at all times. She just… she still felt uneasy about her recent vision. About the thought… of Blue Diamond on earth.
You don't have to worry, Saphy. If she knew we were here, she would have come to US by now. Even still… we lost the war, Ruby. We can't afford to win it if they realize we still exist. And they won't. As long as we stay out of Korea, they won't even think to look for us. Now toughen up, sweetcheeks, we need to get the earth beetle before it sinks into the lava and gets lost forever. Right… right, we can't lose them. We can't lose any other friends.
"-You DON'T have an infinite hole behind your ear full of money that you were going to use to build an orphanage for puppies! I WANTED TO MAKE THE PUPPIES HAPPY, STEVEN!" A girl's voice suddenly cried out, snapping her out of her thoughts.
"Magician's bad! Message received! Message received!" A boy's voice whimpered… were there people trapped inside of this thing?
"Hello!?" Garnet shouted out. "Is anyone there!?"
"It's the taco lady back for money, scram!" A much older and slightly echoey voice ordered, before a thud was heard.
How did someone get in there? No one other than a gem should be capable of getting in. Another gem… Blue Diamond's court… she must've sent soldiers here to investigate. If they get word that we're here-then we poof them before they get the chance to squeal on us.
They slowly approached the voices. "Wait, we can't go intangible! We're still here!" The girl called out.
"Gah! Of course! Just when I was getting to tolerate him, he abandons us!" The boy griped. "Come on, we should get out of here before Snowflake's ice wears off-"
Snowflake… snowflake obsidian... is... is she here?!
She jumped in front of the opening in the wall… finding two human children, and a small, corrupted gem, spewing out ice to cool the magma. "...Hello." She greeted.
"...Steven."
"Yes, Molly?"
"That woman's standing on lava."
"I can see that."
"Normal people don't stand on lava."
"I am well aware of that."
"Normal people also don't have afro and shades."
The boy in the… eeriely familiar cloak blinked, turning to the girl. "Why is that your next clue?"
"It's adding to her cool factor to be honest." The girl admitted with a grin. "Ooh, are you a gem, afro lady?! Is this your spaceship?!"
That was odd. While the gems weren't exactly a secret, it wasn't like they were well known to the public either. "How did you two get in here? Also, why are you here?" She asked calmly, walking slowly towards the corrupted gem, preparing to poof it.
"Well this place is cool, and our pal Snowflake helped us walk in here without us burning alive." The girl petted the corrupted gem. "Isn't that right, Snowflake, precious baby?" The creature paused its ice spreading to stick out a long tongue and lick the girl. "Heehehehe. It tickles."
…It's… It's actually calm… not even Rose with her prowess has been able to do this. Well they're basically animals, right? Maybe this one just really finds human skin comfy. We still can't take that risk. True, but they're right in that it's helping keep the temperature down. If it gets too hot, they're cooked.
Which meant evacuation came first. "Follow me, we need to get you two out of here before this place burns."
"Aww, but I wanted to explore the spaceship." The girl pouted. "We get to learn about Steven's family."
"...Steven's… family?" The fusion slowly turned to the boy.
"Yeah, him, his mom, and Pearl." They elaborated- wait,why was Pearl involved? "I hear she had a crush."
"...Hehehehehehe." She chuckled despite everything. Pearl… having a crush… on someone that wasn't Rose. "I think you're mistaken. This is a gem ship, no humans should ever get involved with gem business."
"But Steven should! He's a diamond!" …What ?!!? "Isn't that right, Steven? You said you were 'Blue Diamond', right?"
"Molly… I think we need to go now." Garnet trembled as the boy… as the impossibility began backing away. "I don't think this lady is stable… or friendly."
"Blue Diamond… can't be… impossible …" They wouldn't shapeshift into something so small.They wouldn't look anything but blue. Not possible, not possible, not possible.
"Aww, relax, it's not like gems can hate each other right?" The girl asked. "Sooo, what kind are you? A jade? An emerald? A purple magenta?"
"Molly, I really think we should go now!" The impossibility grabbed the girl's hand. "I don't trust this lady's vibe, she's silent and she's getting too close to Snowflake." The boy pulled the corrupted beast closer to him.
This... this can't be possible this can't be possible this can't be possible Calm down, Saphy! It's just a kid, it's just a kid…"You're being too paranoid. How about we take her back to the Palanquin and explain everything-"
…Too much… they knew too much… TOO MUCH! She grabbed the girl, pulling her back with one hand as her other became a gauntlet. "NO!" She screamed, punching the horror. "NO! NO! NO! NO!" She punched Blue into the ground, steel bending around their somehow organic flesh.
"STEVEN!!" The girl cried in horror as the fusion punched the monster towards the wall of the ship.
She shoved the girl hard (had toneed to) into the wall, her eyes rolling up as Garnet rushed back to the tyrant and hit her over and over and over and over. "STOP IT!" She froze her. Garnet began heating herself up as the ice melted, helped by the volcanic activity of the ship, breaking out her arm and hitting the wrong again.
"Brrrruyufhfhdb!" The corrupted gem roared out a massive swoosh of ice and snow, blowing her back across the wall, before it ran up to the boy, actually trying to comfort the monster.
"Steven!" The human girl ran to the monster. "Oh, sweet baby corn, are you alright?!"
"I think… this is the first time in my life… I have broken bones…" The atrocity groaned weakly. As if she'd fall for that.
"No more, Blue." She broke out both gauntlets, punching her way out of her icy prison. "I won't let you hurt us again! I don't know why you're smaller, but I won't let you use your full power!" Garnet wouldn't survive it.
"Still… think… I'm paranoid?"
"Save the sarcasm for when we're out of here!" The girl picked the tyrant up and began running away.
"I don't know what lies you told that girl, but you can't hide what kind of monster you are!" Garnet shot her gauntlets at the Diamond, making the girl push herself and the monster down.
"Honestly, with the way you're acting, that describes you more than Steven right now!" The girl scolded her as she got up, before wincing. "Hot, hot, hot! The ground's getting hotter!"
"GRREEE!" The corrupted gem stopped focusing on her, resuming on cooling the ground, which gave Garnet the chance to charge at them at full speed, while her gauntlets grew both in size and power.
"She's… getting… closer…" the monster coughed. "Molly… get… out of … here… leave me… behind-"
"No, no, no!" The girl grabbed the monster by the face. "I don't do the 'leave a man behind' cliche, Steven! You're my friend, so there's NO way I'm going to leave you at the mercy of this super scary and super cool- I mean psycho afro lady!" The girl tried picking the Diamond up. "You're going to get up on your feet and we're going to get out of here TOGETHER!!"
"Don't make me hurt you. You're an innocent human protecting a monster." She raised her fist back. "Move out of the way before you're crushed."
"If you're threatening to hurt me just to hurt him, then you're the only monster here." The girl stated plainly. "And I don't stand by and watch my friends get tormented by monsters."
…Rose is going to hate us for this. A necessary sacrifice… we can get her to the fountain once we bubble Blue Diamond.
With a heavy, and divided heart, she threw the fist. "Noo!!'" Blue Diamond yelled, grabbing the girl from behind as they were about to make contact-
Fwoosh
========================================================================
They protected them… right? I'm safe… wait, I saved you, right? No, so who… I got punched, right? I… who is me? "Who am… what…" What happened-Molly, where are you?!Where am I, where are you?!
They looked around, finding nothing besides the ship, Snowflake freezing the ground, and the gauntlet lady shaking her head as she threw a punch- "OH, SWEET BABY CORN!" They jumped out of the way… and stayed up, floating on a cloud. "Wow, since when could I… you do that? What?" This wasn't making any sense.
"What-what-where did the human go-" The gauntlet sputtered out as she looked at them-wait, she's looking at me-no she's looking at me-"No… no… Blue Diamond, what-what did you do with the human!?"
"What are you talking about lady-I'm right-we're right here-" They spoke out-they… they… why were they thinking in they-Molly, lift up your right arm. Alright-They lifted up… their right… blueish… cloudy arm together. "What-! Steven, our arms are stuck together-No, I think we just have the same arm now! How is that any better?! I don't know, I'm just as confused as you!"
"You won't get away!" The crazy lady threw a fist, only for them to dodge again.
"Who, me or them?" Because who was… wait, can both of you talk? What about it?Yeah? How are you doing it in my… our head? "...Are we… one person… Steven, what did you do? Well, it's your power." Pearl never explained this kind of power before! It's like we fused together or something!
They looked at themselves. Gone was the normal fleshy color, neither the paler complexion of Steven or the tanner skin of Molly remained, instead replaced by pure blue skin that looked... almost puffy in a way. Looking downwards, they didn't seem to have feet. Their bottom half from the torso down looked almost like a vapor trail. "Oooh, we're like the genie from Aladdin!" She shouted. "Oooh, do we grant wishes? Can it be wishes about puppies please? Wait, we have Snowflake. What about wishes of clean air-"
Zap
Lightning bolt, lightning bolt from afro lady! Wait, you zap lightning too! Zap her back! I only zap when I'm angry! This isn't making you angry?! I'm terrified at the moment!!Then why aren't we freezing the place!? …They weren't afraid… not as a whole… just… happy… happy the both of them were safe for now… nothing… but… "Joy." Clouds bursted out of their body, much more than ever before, swirling like a tornado. "I'm made out of joy… I'm made out of joy!" They laughed whole heartedly, embracing the good gleeful giddy vibes that were flowing through their body. "I feel like I'm on Cloud 9 right now!"
They avoided another punch from the crazy lady. "Oooh, ooh, what if that's my Superhero name?! Cloud 9!? Calling ourselves asuperhero's a little conceited, don't you think?We've got superpowers and can fly. How are we NOT a superhero?" Being a superhero was like having a job SOLELY for enhappification! You saved people and made them smile! We still need to save ourselves!
"What-what kind of game are you playing, Blue Diamond!?" The afro lady demanded to know, launching more gauntlet rockets at them.
"The kind of game where everyone has a fair chance at winning!" They passed through all the rockets. "Now then, Super Strength Hero Punch!" They threw a fist forward… which bounced off the woman's chest. "...Okay, I don't have super strength, no biggie." Yes biggie, we just punched the lady that hates me, and we're in arms reach now! The scary lady threw a fist forward at them… only for it to bounce off the clouds on their chest. But we ARE cloudy. Which means fluffy and bouncy! We can't be hurt... wait a minute, let me try something!
Cloud 9 smiled as they blew into their arm, making it grow bigger… and bigger… and bigger! It's mostly air, is it going to actually impact? Trust in the wonder of imagination, Steven, make it happen! "Cloud Cloud Elephant PUNCH!!!" And they thrusted their giant fist towards the afro lady-
FWWOOOSSSSSH
This time, it actually DID hit her, but not in the way Cloud 9 was expecting. Instead of the impact of a freight train, it felt more like a rushing funnel of wind, blowing the alien lady back and sending her through a wall. "These-hahaha-these tricks are not-ahahahaaha-are not going to -hahahaha-Why am I laughing-AHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!" The afro lady began laughing uncontrollably, actually struggling to stand up straight.
"...We've weaponized happiness!" I feel guilty.Can we question it after we fly out of here? "Oh, can't forget you, Snowflake!" They grabbed the fluffy icy girl.
"Woof!" She began licking their fluffy cloudy face.
"Hehehehehe, come on, don't be like that-we love you too Snowy-Duck!" The lady, even while laughing, was still trying to fight them. "Isn't it time to throw in the towel already? I have the feeling neither of us want to be here at the moment."
"Not, until, you-hehehehehehe-get off, this planet-hahahhahahaha!" She swore, trying to land a hit on them to no avail.
"Then I shall return the favor with one of kicking thy butt, boxing afro woman!" Love the enthusiasm, Molly, but I do NOT feel confident against this psycho! Just leave it to me, bud! This cloudy train runs on enhappification, and I am the conductor! They raised their hands, the cloud swirling into a tornado. "Now… feel… comfort!" They hugged the downed crazy lady. "Feel joy!"
"YHSHSHSH-I-I-I will-will-will never feel happy in-in your presence–ahahahahaahahaah!" She kept laughing and laughing, swirling her head around over and over and over again and again-
FWOOOOSSSSSH
"Woof!" Snowflake grinned as she froze the afro lady, and this time, she didn't seem to be able to melt herself out of the ice.
"Guess being enhappified must've thrown her off." They mused. "Now can we try breaking out of here?" Come on, we've had our first super hero battle, and won. Smile a little. I will smile as much as you want, once we are safe at home.But alien spaceship explora-
Crack
There was a tiny crack in the ice. "Okay, I'll concede." They picked up Snowflake and headed towards the exit. "Hahahaha, we can fly-we can actually FLY! This is the greatest day of my life!"
"Whoa... ugh... Ugh... Who let the Surly Sid's Strawberry Soda ferment?" Scratch came flying back to the ship, looking woozy like he was having a hangover.
"Heya, Scratch!" They waved to the ghost, grabbing him as they flew by. "I'm Cloud 9, nice to meet you!"
"Look, whoever you are, I have enough sickening enthusiasm on my plate as is, I don't have time to swap phone numbers."
"Molly and Steven fused into me!" They exclaimed. "I mean, who else do you know has a blue diamond on their chest? And I got four arms. Neat." Wait, how does THAT make sense…? In fact, why are we made out of clouds? I don't feel anything fleshy-Imagination, Steven, imagination…That doesn't answer anythi-Don't ruin the magic.
The ghost looked back at them, looking at them upwards and downwards, before gasping. "Wait, so Molly and Steven had a kid!?"
"No… yes… not sure. Let's ask Pearl!"
========================================================================
Pearl stared at the Warp Pad, constantly tapping her foot in anticipation. It didn't feel… right leaving Steven unsupervised. When he was unsupervised, he could be in danger. Especially with Rose Quartz active on Earth. Why was she so… weak in these situations? Her position as a pearl made it difficult to be … assertive. Greg was better at handling Steven whenever he was, as they say, acting out…
Steven was a good child (And that wasn't her being biased. Compared to most human children, he was literal perfection compared to garbage). But he was also very stubborn. A trait that seemed to be passed down from the boy's mother. Pearl considered herself lucky that Steven respected her opinion. A situation that would have never happened with the original Blue Diamond.
The Warp Pad lit up, revealing- "PEARL!" She was tackled by the organic newcomer, Molly McGee. "You have to start taking me on gem missions! Not because of the afro lady 'cause she was scary but the other stuff was so cool and fun and exciting!" She spoke rapidly.
"Molly McGee, please cease your physical affection if you would." Pearl stated. Unless it was comforting her Steven, she was not the type to enjoy the action of hugging.
"It was so cool!" The human exclaimed, thankfully releasing her. "We went to the spaceship then Snowflake freezed the entrance for us to get in-" Wait, what? "-Then Scratch got drunk off of electricity which was concerning but then Steven's hand opened up the door-" What? "-Then there was a crazy afro lady who tried murdering us and she punched Steven a bunch-" WHAT?! "-But then me and Steven became one person-" WHAT!? "-And saved the day with enhappification!"
"Wha-wha-wha-" Pearl sputtered as her Steven cautiously stepped off the Warp Pad.
"Yeah, I know it sounds kind of weird-"
Pearl grabbed her Steven. "Not only did you enter a place I told you not to enter, not only did you head somewhere that could've physically harmed you for life, BUT YOU FUSED!?!?!"
"Wait, fused?" Her Steven didn't seem to register the severity of his actions. "Is that what that was? Is that ACTUALLY one of my powers?!"
"It's not even supposed to work!" She exclaimed.
"Ah… newbie here." Molly McGee waved her hand. "What's fusion?"
Pearl displayed a hologram with a sigh. "When a situation is dire enough, two gems of the same caste are allowed to combine their light form bodies into a singular entity with their combined strength." She explained, showing it with an example of rubies forming into a larger ruby. "While a fusion of different gem types is possible, it's… unclean." She shivered, now showing a Ruby and Pearl combining into an off color abomination.
"...Cool, this one has five arms!" Molly McGee seemed to not understand the disturbing implications.
"It's not cool, it's unclean, and inappropriate." She dissipated the hologram. "And besides, organics should be incapable of fusion. We do it because we're made of light. Photons amassing in patterns. Your bodies are organic. You have defined and unshapeable organs."
"But we did, we became Cloud 9!" Molly McGee cheered.
"...You've already NAMED the form!?" Pearl shouted.
"Well... yeah... It kind of... named itself…" Steven muttered. "I know you're freaking out, but It wasn't a bad experience. Aside from the lady trying to kill me, Which, yeah, WAS really bad… Molly really saved me back there." He turned to the organic. "I... I wouldn't have made it out without you Molly, thanks."
"No, thank YOU for getting me out of my funk!" Molly McGee slapped the boy on the back. "I can't believe I was actually getting mopey over one little mistake. You and me pal, we're going places, and we're enhappifying every one of them!"
"Aaaand it's back to my normal annoying afterlife." The specter crossed his arms in annoyance.
Pearl groaned as she kneeled down to her Steven's level. "My Diamond… It is against my nature to be angry at you… but your mother made me promise to protect you at all costs. And that includes from yourself." She stated. "Promise me you will never fuse again."
"Uh… I mean I'll try, but... I can't... Exactly... Control it." Steven muttered meekly. "It was kind of a fight or flight response. Molly was in danger, so, it kind of just... activated by itself."
"Mmm…" Maybe she should start making sure he avoided physical contact… no, that would be even worse for his mental health. Maybe she should make him wear gloves… wait, no, he liked holding hands with Libby Stein-Torres… wait a minute, this was only secondary to the other horrible news she heard! "What was this about an 'afro' woman?" Why was someone who lived in the eighties hunting Steven?
"I dunno, I think she was a gem." Steven replied. "She mentioned Blue Diamond and could walk on lava." Her Steven explained. "She had cold, heat, and lighting powers too, and also wore these sunglasses that, admittedly, looked cool."
That... that sounded... scarily familiar. "My Steven… did this gem have gauntlets that launched from their arms?"
"Uh… yeah, why?"
"...My Steven, until further notice… stay in town." Lest she finds them.
"Wait, is this a super secret mystery plot that's going to build up all season to surprise?" Molly McGee asked.
"Please leave." She didn't wish to speak about this.