I'm Not A Master, I'm A Director
Chapter 470: For the Sake of the Republic, Give Your Brothers a Hand!
After being thoroughly "tormented" by Rider, Shinji showed up on set the next day wearing sunglasses, imitating Gilgamesh.
Fortunately, Rider wasn't as rough as a certain mud-covered brute. The sunglasses Shinji chose were fairly small, just enough to cover his eyes and hide the dark circles beneath them.
Don't get the wrong idea. Rider hadn't punched him in the eyes, nor had she done anything people might gleefully imagine. She had simply taken a huge draw of Shinji's magical energy, leaving him drained and lacking vitality.
There was no exchange of bodily fluids—she merely used the vampiric abilities of her bloodsucking race!
Anyone whose mind went elsewhere, go stand in the corner for five minutes!
Although his chastity remained intact, Shinji ultimately failed to preserve his reputation.
During the time he wore those sunglasses, he became the target of relentless gawking from the Heroic Spirits under his command almost every single day.
The worst offender was Gilgamesh, who no longer needed sunglasses himself. Every day, without fail, he would stroll over to Shinji and burst into exaggerated laughter just to mock him.
"Damn you, Gil! Just you wait!"
Enduring the King's deafening "KUHAHAHAHA," Shinji cursed,
"When we get to the Uruk chapter, don't say I didn't give you the chance!"
Naturally, Gilgamesh couldn't care less about such wishful thinking.
The Uruk chapter?
Shinji Matou, worry about finishing the five movies you've already planned first.
Compared to something years away, Gilgamesh preferred to enjoy the moment. Better to laugh his fill now.
Who knew if Shinji would even remember this years later? If he forgot, then holding back now would be a huge loss.
"You've got to seize every opportunity! Hahahaha! Shinji, your eyes are absolutely hilarious! Hahahaha!"
Fed up with Gilgamesh's philosophy of "if I don't squeeze out every bit of profit, I'm taking a loss," Shinji opted for immediate revenge.
"By the power of my Command Seal, Gilgamesh, pick your nose, smear the booger all over your face, and then charge straight into Enkidu!"
"GOD DAMN YOU, SHINJI!!!"
In the end, thanks to Shinji's kamikaze-style retaliation, both he and Gilgamesh wound up hanging by Enkidu's chains over the entrance to the film set.
After that, none of the Heroic Spirits dared laugh at their Master ever again.
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When someone devotes themselves wholeheartedly to a single task, time always seems to fly.
By the time Shinji had finished filming all the major scenes for Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons, pushing production to around eighty percent completion, he suddenly realized that the summer movie season of 2008 had already come to an end.
"Time passed way too damn fast. Are we sure some magician didn't just cut those months out of existence?"
The rest of the world's filmmakers completely disagreed with Shinji's sentiment.
If Shinji's summer had flown by in the blink of an eye, then for everyone else, it had crawled along like an eternity.
The reason was simple:
Nearly every major film released during this year's summer season had been annihilated at the box office.
The artistically ambitious films that European and American filmmakers had pinned their hopes on suffered one disastrous commercial failure after another.
Worldwide, only a handful of movies managed to surpass the $300 million mark—and every single one of them was a horror film, a genre looked down upon by the same film "masters."
Asia, meanwhile, produced a few highly successful comedies, but their appeal was too culturally specific to gain traction in Europe or America, leaving their worldwide grosses relatively modest.
Compared to previous years, theaters were practically deserted.
"What the hell is going on? Why don't audiences like going to the movies anymore?"
Perplexed, the major film studios launched extensive market research.
The moviegoers' answers were astonishingly consistent:
"There weren't any good movies in theaters this summer, so we didn't bother."
"No good movies?!"
That answer completely shattered countless old-timers in the industry.
There were so many excellent films this summer! Every one of them featured phenomenal acting! Every one had deeply moving stories!
And people were saying there were no good movies?
"As expected, these ignorant masses don't know the first thing about cinema! We're the true connoisseurs of film!"
While the critics sneered in contempt, theater owners took a far more pragmatic view.
"When audiences say there weren't any good movies... they probably mean there weren't any big-budget spectacles like Fate."
Because Shinji had been busy preparing the FGO Project, he had, unusually, not released a movie during this year's summer season.
Originally, that should have given everyone else a golden opportunity to dominate the box office.
But before theater chains even had time to figure out their release schedules, the old men at the Academy started making proclamations:
"It is time for cinema to return to the proper path!"
What did it mean to "return cinema to the proper path"?
Why, of course, it meant making the kind of art-house films those old men loved most.
As it turned out, they would have been better off never returning to that "proper path" at all.
Objectively speaking, this year's summer box office was actually slightly higher than it had been before Shinji rose to prominence.
But after feasting on gourmet delicacies for years, what movie studio would be satisfied with plain gruel?
The studios weren't even the worst off.
The real victims were the theater chains.
Caught between the pressure of the film studios and the old men running the Academy, theater owners, unwilling to offend either side, had no choice but to follow their arrangements.
And those arrangements practically bankrupted them.
After all, box office revenue had never been distributed evenly. The few art films that actually made money earned almost all of it in major cities. In more remote areas, even the highest-grossing movie of the year still lost money.
For smaller theater chains, the film market was effectively dead.
Amid this sea of devastation, there was only one company smiling:
Disney.
To make room for its upcoming lineup of blockbuster projects, Disney had released only two teen-oriented films that year, earning a modest profit.
As one of Shinji Matou's most devoted admirers, Robert Iger had long since seen through the absurd antics of those old Academy fossils.
Trying to fight against the commercial rules Shinji Matou had figured out? How stuffed do you have to be to come up with something that ridiculous? Why don't you just choke on it already?
By September, with the 2008 summer season officially over, the global film industry could hardly be described as "bursting with life and endless promise."
It was more accurate to say:
"When all the birds have eaten their fill and flown away, all that remains is a vast, empty white wilderness."
The operation grandly titled "Restore Cinema to the Proper Path and Reclaim Its Glory" had ended in complete failure.
The old men who had still retained the last scraps of their prestige lost all credibility after this disaster and were thoroughly knocked off their pedestals.
The heads of European and American film studios finally learned one simple truth:
If you want box office success, film awards are useless.
Great acting is useless.
Critical acclaim is useless.
Only explosions work.
Unfortunately...
They realized it too late.
"Shinji Matou! For the sake of the industry and the nation, lend your brothers a hand!"
"Get lost! Who the hell is your brother?!"
Looking at the middle-aged man wiping his snot on his pant leg, Shinji grimaced in disgust while frantically shaking his leg, trying to pull it free from the man's embrace.
After finally kicking the fellow out, Shinji slammed the office door shut with a loud bang.
"I'm telling you all—guard the entrance! If another shady character gets in here, I'll have every last one of you running naked across Fuyuki's bridge!"
Shinji's furious roar didn't frighten Merlin or the others in the slightest. They remained lounging calmly on the sofa.
Merlin even grinned mischievously.
"Oh, don't be so angry~☆ You've been business partners for years now. Being so cold is going to break his heart~☆"
The man who had just been clinging to Shinji's leg, wailing, was the headquarters manager of Regal Cinemas, North America's largest theater chain.
He had come to see Shinji for two reasons.
First, he wanted to beg Shinji to allow the older Fate movies to be re-released in Regal's theaters so they could bring in some desperately needed cash flow.
Second, he wanted confirmation that Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons would definitely premiere during this year's Christmas season.
If it had been up to him, he would have loved to put Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons into theaters that very day.
But he was the one asking Shinji for a favor, so naturally he didn't dare make the overly presumptuous request that Shinji hurry up and finish the movie.
Looking at the stains on his pant leg, Shinji decided the trousers were beyond saving.
He snorted heavily.
"Merlin... you're the one who let that man in here, weren't you?"
Merlin immediately played along.
"Master, the Cinema Force asked me to pass along a message to you—"
"Ow!"
After Shinji threw a Fou plushie at him, Merlin finally became a little more serious.
"It was your dear Southern European beauty who insisted you meet him, just to put these theater owners—who are on the verge of losing their minds—at ease," Merlin replied with a smile. "If your movie doesn't come out soon, every one of them is going to be unable to pay their debts."
Shinji rolled his eyes toward the ceiling.
"Come on, it can't be that exaggerated. Those money-grubbers aren't nearly that easy to bankrupt. I think Lissy is just annoyed that all I do is make movies without handling any management, so she deliberately found me something to deal with."
'So you're actually aware of that.'
The other Heroic Spirits in the room all looked at their Master with expressions of surprise.
Merlin alone remained completely unfazed.
Ever since Shinji had tried every possible way to drag him into doing actual work, Merlin had understood perfectly well that this blue-haired brat was a complete workhorse.
"Shinji, are you sure you're just going to send him away like that?"
Although phrased as a question, Merlin's tone made it obvious he already knew Shinji's answer.
"Of course not."
Shinji wagged a finger with a grin.
"Since he's already come all this way, it'd be a waste not to assign him some work."
Since these people had come begging him for help, they could spend the rest of the year working hard to promote the Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons.