I'm Not A Master, I'm A Director
Chapter 445: Arturia Appears? Why Is This Still Called FGO?
Just as the battles surrounding The First Order were growing increasingly fierce both inside and outside the movie, the atmosphere inside ABC Television's studio in North America was equally tense.
The reason was simple.
The Oscar broadcast ratings were a disaster.
Everyone had assumed that securing a simultaneous broadcast with Europe—something the network had practically bent over backwards to achieve—would be a tremendous honor. Surely North American viewers would flock to watch the ceremony, and the ratings would soar through the roof.
Reality, however, was far crueler.
The ratings chart looked like a heart monitor, constantly spiking and plummeting, enough to give anyone watching it a heart attack.
"Every ratings spike coincides with an award announcement."
After comparing every peak on the graph with the ceremony schedule, a staff member nervously reported his findings to the broadcast director.
The director's eyebrow twitched violently.
"You're telling me there's a huge group of viewers who tune back in whenever an award is announced... and then immediately change the channel again?"
"Y-Yes..."
"F—"
The director uttered one of the most internationally recognized swear words in existence.
If low ratings were simply the result of scheduling issues, he could still come up with excuses.
But this?
This meant viewers were clearly watching television and keeping track of the Oscars. Otherwise, they wouldn't return every time an award was announced.
The problem was that these people had absolutely no interest in the glamorous, star-studded ceremony itself.
Something else was holding their attention.
"And what exactly is this other program that's so attractive? Hmm? You were about to say something?"
Seeing his subordinate hesitate, the director frowned.
"I heard that The First Order is having its television premiere at the same time as the ceremony."
"F—"
Another colorful display of vocabulary escaped the director's mouth.
There was no direct evidence. He didn't even know the movie's actual ratings.
But his instincts told him that the bizarre fluctuations in their viewership had everything to do with that film.
"If those old men find out about this..."
Cold sweat trickled down his back.
A simple drop in ratings could be explained away.
But a graph that blatantly showed viewers leaving and returning?
There was no excuse for that.
Being ignored would anger the Academy's higher-ups.
Losing attention to someone else would infuriate them even more.
And if that "someone else" happened to be Shinji Matou...
Their rage would increase severalfold.
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆
While the Oscars were drowning in gloom, The First Order continued its story steadily toward the climax.
The final battle was approaching.
The most exciting part of the movie was about to begin.
"Alright, we've arrived."
After a grueling march that had nearly claimed half of Director Olga Marie's life, Cu Chulainn pointed toward a cave.
"At the very end of that cave are the Holy Grail and Saber."
Olga Marie bent over with both hands on her knees, gasping desperately for breath.
"Huff... huff... The mana concentration leaking from here... huff... is extremely abnormal... huff... This should be the place..."
A bead of sweat rolled down Ritsuka's temple.
"Director, if you're this exhausted, you really don't have to force yourself to talk."
"I'm... huff... perfectly fine... huff... I'm the Director of Chaldea... huff..."
Trying to reassure him, Olga Marie raised a thumbs-up.
Unfortunately, the movement shifted her center of gravity.
Her body immediately tipped backward.
"That's the exact opposite of fine!"
Ritsuka lunged forward and caught her before she could hit the ground.
Mash shook her head helplessly before noticing Cu Chulainn stroking his chin thoughtfully.
"Mr. Cu Chulainn, is something wrong?"
"Just feels a little strange."
His expression turned serious.
"Among Saber's followers, there were five Servants in total. I defeated Rider myself. Miss Mash defeated Assassin and Berserker. Then all of us worked together to take down Lancer..."
As soon as he pointed it out, Mash began counting on her fingers.
"In that case... besides Saber, there should still be one Archer left."
"Exactly. The greatest defender who follows the wielder of the holy sword—Archer. He—"
"Trace On. Continuous Projection."
Before Cu Chulainn could finish explaining Archer's abilities, countless weapons suddenly appeared above their heads.
The sky was filled with blades.
Like a torrential downpour, an endless rain of weapons descended upon Ritsuka and the others.
"Move!"
Realizing that Ritsuka was the primary target of the attack, Cu Chulainn immediately shoved him aside.
Fortunately, his reaction was fast enough.
Ritsuka himself didn't even realize the weapons had already fallen until he hit the ground.
But while saving Ritsuka, Cu Chulainn paid the price himself.
A sword flashed past and cleanly severed his left arm.
"Mr. Cu Chulainn!!"
Ritsuka cried out in horror.
Ironically, the injured Cu Chulainn remained far calmer than anyone else present.
First, he activated a protective rune, surrounding everyone with a barrier to prevent further casualties, and only then did he casually issue an order.
"Tch. You lot get moving. I'll catch up later."
"But—"
Ritsuka wanted to stay and help, unfortunately, the explosions caused by the rain of swords were already shaking the mountain apart. Massive rocks crashed down from above, and the cave entrance was moments away from being sealed.
"Senpai! The entrance is collapsing! We have to move now!"
Mash grabbed Ritsuka by the arm and dragged him deeper into the cave.
The moment the entrance was completely buried beneath rubble, the relentless sword barrage finally ceased.
"Guh..."
Cu Chulainn immediately began treating his wound with healing runes.
At that moment, a voice drifted over from the distance.
"To think a single defensive rune was enough to deal with that level of sword bombardment..."
A figure familiar beyond words to countless veteran fans stepped onto the screen.
The same man as always.
That frivolous tone hiding a trace of steadiness.
That calm demeanor concealing a mature level of shameless coolness.
EMIYA.
"Still," he continued with a shrug, "successfully separating you from those drifters was the minimum objective. And I've achieved that much."
Pressing a hand against his injured shoulder, Cu Chulainn slowly rose to his feet.
"So that was your goal?"
His face twisted into a grimace.
"You really do have an annoyingly meticulous personality... Archer!"
As if responding to the sound of his own name, Archer projected a pair of familiar black-and-white short swords into his hands.
"I merely chose the easiest path to victory, as always."
A smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth.
"Now then, Caster."
The teasing in his voice became impossible to miss.
"This is your favorite kind of battle, isn't it? A close-quarters fight."
He twirled the twin blades effortlessly.
"Show me, will you?"
"Just how much punishment a mere magus can endure."
"Ahh! Damn you and that foul mouth!"
Cu Chulainn kicked a nearby rock in frustration.
"Damn it all! Just as I thought—being a Caster in a Holy Grail War is complete garbage!"
He pointed accusingly at Archer.
"If I'd been summoned as a Lancer, forget you—even Saber would've gone down in a single stab!"
Within the movie itself, it was merely Cu Chulainn complaining about being summoned into the wrong class.
But outside the screen, the atmosphere instantly became filled with joy and laughter.
After all, every Fate fan knew exactly what he was talking about.
The legendary Irish hero, forced into the role of a Caster, complaining that he couldn't use his real specialty.
It was the kind of bitter grievance that somehow made everyone burst out laughing instead.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" *N
The screening room of the Type-Moon cast erupted into laughter.
Everyone was doubled over from Cu Chulainn's comment on the screen. Even the man himself couldn't keep a straight face, covering his mouth as his shoulders shook uncontrollably.
After all, which Heroic Spirit present didn't know about the Hound tragic history as a Lancer in Holy Grail Wars?
Three routes.
Three completely different official storylines.
And in every single one, Cu Chulainn's treatment somehow got worse than the last.
There was absolutely none of the unstoppable, peerless heroism described in the legends of Cu Chulainn.
Otherwise, how could the phrase "Lancers always have E-rank Luck" have become so widespread?
And why was the real Cu Chulainn himself so oddly fond of the Caster class?
Because his Lancer routes were suffering incarnate!
Meanwhile, after changing jobs to Caster, he started steamrolling everyone in sight.
Still, not everyone among the Heroic Spirits was pleased by Caster Cu's moment in the spotlight.
"When the tiger's away, the monkeys proclaim themselves king," a certain golden king muttered disdainfully.
"It simply means there were no truly powerful opponents such as myself present. What's there to be proud of?"
"Because it's ridiculously difficult, obviously~"
Cu Chulainn grinned.
"As Master likes to say, summoning me in a normal Holy Grail War is basically a guaranteed victory. It's just that the Fuyuki Grail War is... somewhat special—"
Halfway through his explanation, he paused.
Noticing the irritation on Gilgamesh's face, his grin widened.
"Wait a second..."
His eyes sparkled mischievously.
"Could it be that you're lonely because you didn't appear in this movie?"
"I AM NOT LONELY!" Gilgamesh roared.
"I merely... merely..."
He clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"Tch! If even I don't appear, what kind of Fuyuki Holy Grail War is this supposed to be?!"
That statement immediately irritated Arturia.
"King of Heroes, get your facts straight."
She folded her arms proudly.
"The face of the Fuyuki Holy Grail War is me."
"Oh please," Gilgamesh shot back instantly.
"You're nothing more than the franchise mascot."
He smirked.
"When the story actually requires your role, they can only put your substitute on screen."
Arturia's eye twitched.
"Well, what was I supposed to do? Master said playing two roles at once would be too difficult, so Alter had to—"
"Speaking of that."
A voice suddenly interrupted.
Jeanne raised her hand.
"In the Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons, I'll be playing both myself and my Alter."
"Eh?"
Arturia froze.
"Wait. What?"
A dangerous realization slowly dawned upon her.
"Why have I never heard about this?"
She slowly turned toward Shinji.
"Master."
The smile on her face was terrifying.
"I would like an explanation."
The truth was actually quite simple.
Shinji's decision not to cast Arturia personally wasn't due to technical limitations at all.
It was because he was lazy.
There were countless scenes where Fou and Alter appeared together.
Having Arturia act on screen while simultaneously controlling Fou would require a huge amount of practice and coordination.
Using Alter instead solved everything.
Two people.
Two characters.
No interference.
Faster filming.
Much easier.
However, given Arturia's competitive personality, if she knew it was technically possible, she would absolutely insist on playing Alter herself.
To avoid all that trouble, Shinji had simply made up an excuse and successfully fooled her.
At least...
Until now.
Since the deception had already been exposed, Shinji decided there was no point pretending anymore.
"You're the poster girl!"
He pointed directly at Arturia.
"Why would the real Arturia appear in FGO?"
He spread his hands dramatically.
"If the genuine Arturia showed up, would it still be FGO?"
"That'd be fanfiction!"
The room fell silent.
Arturia's smile vanished.
"Master~~~"
The next moment—
The King of Knights launched herself at him with murderous embarrassment.
"YOU'RE DEAD!!".
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Tn: I updated the story once every 2 days, but if you want to see more chapter of this story ahead of time, please go to my Patreon.
Latest Chapter: Chapter 476: Shirou: I'll Take Both[1]!
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[1] https://www.patreon.com/Thatsnakegirl/posts/im-not-master-im-165055398?collection=31097
[2] https://www.patreon.com/Thatsnakegirl/posts/im-not-master-im-165055398?collection=31097