I know that I'm having a nightmare right now. Coming back to the royal palace and daring to sleep in my old bedroom was totally a bad idea. The air in here is thick with memories, and the shadows on the walls seem to dance with ghosts from my past.
Still, no matter how hard I fight it, this nightmare, as well as the trauma of my childhood, I still can't forget them at all. They cling to me like a second skin.
I, Maddie Madone, the queen of the kingdom of awakeneds, was still about ten years old at that time. An immature and ignorant girl.
No, I'm wrong here. 'Boy.'... I was an immature and ignorant boy.
Yep! I used to be a boy, Mathew Madone, the prince of the kingdom of awakeneds and the future king. At that time, the kingdom of awakeneds was known also as the Kingdom of Aurelia. It was famous for its fertile land and filled with natural resources, especially things that were quite useful for dwarfs. Our kingdom was prosperous and peaceful, a jewel in the land.
Everything was going well. No rivalry with other kingdoms, no war, all peace and harmony.
Or that's what it seemed from the outside to normal people. But from the inside, a huge chaos was brewing.
Actually, the royal family was facing a crisis, a deep. At that time, the current king, my grandfather, had two sons.
Both had an age gap of more than eighteen years between them. Mainly because my grandpa's youth suddenly woke up for some reason, and he decided to marry an eighteen-year-old woman and had a child with her.
So, the first prince, my uncle, already looked quite aged. Even his children looked almost the same age as his younger brother, my father.
My father, the second prince, was happy with his sole son, me, of course. On the other side, the first prince's family was huge. He had eight kids, most of them older than me.
When it came to the question of who would be the next king, there was no doubt that the first prince was likely to be the next king.
Only if he was awakened.
Yep, this was the crisis our family was facing. My uncle wasn't an awakened. My father wasn't an awakened. Neither any of my uncle's eight kids were awakeneds. And lastly, I wasn't awakened as well.
Not a single one of us. Our family, the royal family, was a line of normal people in a world where power was everything.
The future was already looking hard for us. Grandpa was busy finding any essence stone that could forcefully make someone awakened, his face etched with worry every time his underlings returned from a failed expedition. The pressure was immense, and I could feel it even as a child, though I didn't understand it fully.
But everything changed one normal morning. I woke up, feeling strange, like there was a buzzing in my head. I saw a faint blue smoke, like a gentle mist, roaming around me.
It was beautiful and ghostly at the same time. Before I knew it, the words had already surged through the whole kingdom. That I had awakened. At the age of ten.
And the very next day, I was announced as the future king of the kingdom by my grandpa. He stood before the court, his voice booming with a joy and relief that I had never seen before.
Like what the fuck?
I just skipped the two generations. I beat my uncle, my cousins, and even my father in the race for the throne and won? It didn't feel real.
As a kid, my happiness was obviously on seventh heaven. Becoming a king was like a dream come true. I would walk around the palace with my chest puffed out, feeling like I owned the world.
The servants would bow, and the nobles would smile at me, and I loved every second of it.
Soon enough, I was assigned my king's guard as well.
I still remember standing in the grand hall, my small hand holding my grandpa's big, warm one, looking in front of myself. The hall was huge, with a high ceiling and shiny marble floors that reflected the light from the big windows.
There was a tall, middle-aged man with a well-built body and a thick, dark beard. His face, and specially those sharp, indifferent eyes, showed the years of experience he had. He looked like a mountain, strong and unmovable.
Of course, he was not my guard who would dedicate his life to protecting me. He was Glacier Von Scarlet, the retired king's guard who served my grandpa.
He was a legend in our kingdom, a hero whose stories were told in taverns and schools.
Since according to the tradition, a king's guard can't marry or have a sexual relationship with someone. Their life belongs to the king they protect.
But Mr. Glacier was too talented for a man, an S-rank awakened of our kingdom, with great talent. But he was getting old, and his strength had already fallen to Rank A. He was still powerful, but not what he used to be.
That's why my grandpa made him retire forcefully, even though he did not want to. He forced him to marry, to have a life of his own, and have a successful heir with his genes.
Yep, the one standing beside him, a tall girl with blonde hair and purple eyes that matched her mother's. She was beautiful, like a character from a storybook.
Victoria Von Scarlet.
Goddess!
This was my first thought after meeting her for the first time. She was only around fifteen or sixteen at that time, six years or so older than me. She had an athletic body, smooth skin, and she smelled like flowers, a fresh, clean scent.
She had a graceful attitude, and she looked like Miss Perfect, someone who could do no wrong.
Me, a barely ten-year-old kid with no hormonal development, had already developed a huge crush on her. My heart was beating fast, and I couldn't take my eyes off her.
"He's Mathew Madone, you'll dedicate your life serving him with your best, you understand?" Glacier said in his heavy, deep voice, which rumbled like thunder.
"Yes, father," she replies. Her voice was soft and clear, like the sound of a small bell.
What an angelic voice!
She kneels down for me, which confused me a little. But then my grandpa handed me a sword, a beautiful, shiny sword with a jeweled hilt, and gestured at her.
I immediately understood what he wanted to say, and I handed the sword over to her.
"Take care of me well," I said, trying to sound like a king. Well, I wouldn't mind even if she slams me against the wall, wait, what am I thinking? My face felt hot all of a sudden.
Victoria takes the sword, and a few other ceremonies happen after that. She swears to protect me and all that in the name of the goddess, her voice full of sincerity and determination.
After that day, I became even more happy. With Miss Perfect, Victoria Von Scarlett, on my side, there was nothing stopping me. I felt like I could conquer the world.
But FUCK NO! SHE IS HOPELESS.
She just tries to control everything about my life. Not in a weird way, I mean I would be down bad for it, but no! She was just... so bad at it.
She just won't let me eat food because she believed that there might be poison in it. But she doesn't know how to cook at all, so she would just bring me raw vegetables or burnt bread, thinking she was protecting me.
She tries to do my laundry and ends up tearing apart my clothes, my favorite shirts turned into rags. She tried to train me in sword fighting and ends up injuring me instead, leaving me with bruises and cuts.
But, I don't know why, but this is what made me feel even closer to her. Like she too was just a human like me who could fail at things, being more relatable.
Seeing her not giving up and trying each time, her face determined even when she messed up, just made me feel more attracted towards her.
Of course, there was no rivaling her in a contest of spearmanship or power. She was way high above others' league and managed to train me quite well as well. When she was fighting or training, she was a different person, focused and deadly.
We were having quite a good time together. More than a guardian, she was like a mentor and a trusted friend. We would talk for hours, and she would listen every word of mine even though most of it was nonsense.
My life looked quite set, like a wonderful colored painting, full of bright, happy colors.
But I never thought that this colored painting would soon be painted red and black. The dark age and another turning point of my life came way sooner than expected.
It was my eleventh birthday. I was so excited, hoping for a good time. I imagined waking up to a pile of gifts in the morning and a grand banquet at night, with music, dancing, and all my favorite foods. The whole castle was decorated, and there was a festive mood in the air.
But none of us knew what my uncle was plotting in the shadows.
Actually, since before most of the royal family was non-awakened, many noble families had already started plotting in secret to take over.
They saw our weakness as their opportunity. But it was all ruined the moment I awakened. Because of this, my uncle's ambitions were damaged as well. His path to the throne, which he thought was clear, was now blocked by me, a ten-year-old boy.
But he couldn't cause political instability and overthrow the throne just like that.
For that, he needed followers, but no one would follow him and go against the throne for a non-awakened, especially when there was already a rightful heir who was an awakened.
So, he shook hands with some corrupted noble families who were also after the throne. He made a deal with them to share the kingdom, more like him being a puppet king while they pulled the strings. He was desperate, and desperation makes people do terrible things.
Thus, they did a ritual in secret, a forbidden ritual that was clearly prohibited in any textbook.
On my birthday, he was present with a smug smile on his face, just like today. He thought he was so smart, that he was going to be the king for sure. He looked at me with a bright smile, and I didn't understand why.
Meanwhile, in the background, those noble family members and my uncle's subordinates were carrying out the ritual.
Even though I personally went through all that, I still have hazy memories of that day. I don't know if it was because of the trauma that I got or something else, maybe my mind trying to protect itself.
But I still remember the surroundings turning red and black. The happy, colorful decorations seemed to fade away, replaced by a terrifying, blood-red darkness.
A sense of anxiety and fear spread through everyone, like a cold wave. People started to look around, their faces pale with confusion and terror.
And then, a pillar of fire appeared in the middle of the banquet hall where we were having the birthday party. It was huge and silent, burning with a strange, orange yellow fire.
And when that pillar of fire vanished, there was a hollow figure about as tall as the ceilings.
It was a demonic woman, with red skin that looked like it was made of hardened lava. Long, sharp horns were sticking out from her forehead, curving backwards. Her eyes were on fire, burning with a malevolent intelligence that made my soul freeze.
Her hollow figure had no feet. The fire was burning around below instead of feet, and she floated just above the ground. She was fully naked, but the tough, red skin made her look like she was wearing a suit of armor.
I do not remember who she was at that time, but now I know.
She was the mother of corruption, one of the kings of hell, Aphrodite Mohini.
She looks around, her fiery gaze slowly scanning the room. And as her gaze went over people.
Pop!...
Pop!..Pop!..Pop!...
Everyone's head started blowing off one by one. It was a horrible, wet sound. One moment they were there, screaming or crying, and the next, their heads just exploded. Many turned into grotesque, mutilated flesh but were somehow still alive. Their heads, limbs, and other body parts were entangled between them in a sickening dance of death.
Many's sexual frustration and lust took over, Engaging them into sexual activities despite knowing the death was there, They just couldn't stop, It wasn't just between man and women but man and man and women and women as well.
No one was spared. Not even my father or mother. I saw my mom, her beautiful face, just... pop. My dad tried to shield her, but he was next, Turning into a meat paste.
Even Glacier died, his strong body falling to the ground, alongside my grandpa, none of them stood a chance.
It wasn't even a fight. Her hollow figure just stood there, watching, while everyone else died on their own. She wasn't doing anything, but her presence alone was killing them.
I was on my knees, unable to move. Tears were streaming from my eyes, my vision was blurry. My heart was aching like it would explode. I wanted to scream, but no sound came out. I was just a terrified little boy in a world of horror.
And at that moment, her gaze turned towards me. I felt a cold, piercing feeling, as if she was looking right into my soul.
I completely gave up. I thought this was it, I would meet the same fate as those before me.
But the moment she looked at me, something changed. I felt a strange, warm feeling spreading through my body, a painful, twisting sensation.
I—I turned into a woman.
Before I could even understand anything, someone came swiftly, a blur of motion.
"Close your eyes, idiot!" I knew it was Scarlet. Her voice was urgent and full of fear.
She closed my eyes with her hand and picked me up, running away from there immediately. Saving my life from dying miserably.
She took me far away, running through the night, not stopping until the sun came up. We were in the woods, and I was cold and scared. She knew there was no point in going back now. The palace was no longer a home; it was a tomb.
Soon enough, I got the news that almost everyone in that party was dead. Even my uncle and his two kids who attended it were gone. That kinda shocked me.
How come even the mastermind died? Did they summon something even they couldn't control? It didn't make sense.
Still, those corrupt noblemen were still alive. One of my uncle's kids, the one who didn't go to the party, became the new king. A puppet ruler.
Since my body wasn't anywhere to be found and Scarlet was also missing, they assumed that I was alive. They were afraid of the rightful heir, the awakened prince who would one day come for revenge.
Many assassination attempts were set up to find and kill me. But I had turned into a woman. It was even harder to find me.
I was no longer Prince Mathew. From then on I was Maddie madone. My face had changed, my body had changed. Even my voice.
After that day, Scarlet was the one who took care of me. I wasn't even the king now. Her father was already dead. There was no reason for her to keep protecting me. I wasn't even strong like I am now. She could have let go of me anytime, yet she didn't.
Not only did she take care of me, but she even did everything to make me stronger. While she herself trained, becoming an adventurer to hunt and earn money and essence stones, she was also my teacher, my mentor, my only family. She taught me how to fight, how to survive, how to refine essence stones, Magic, fighting skills.
We were away for years, hiding yet growing each day. We moved from town to town, never staying in one place for too long. And when we came back for revenge fifteen years later, I had already adapted to being a woman. It wasn't a choice, but it became my reality.
I was no longer the boy who dreamed of being a king. I was a woman who dreamed of revenge.
And by then, I had become an A-rank awakened, while Scarlet was at the top of humanity's might, an S-rank. There was no one who could match our might.
We took over the kingdom single-handedly, or more like Scarlet took over single-handedly.
Meanwhile, there were many supporters for us since I was also the rightful heir. So it wasn't that difficult. People were tired of the puppet king and the corrupt nobles.
I killed my remaining six cousins as well as those noblemen behind that scandal. I didn't enjoy it, but I didn't regret it either. It was something that had to be done.
And by using the resources of the kingdom, I became the second S-rank of our kingdom. I worked hard, pushing myself to the limit, until I finally reached the top.
Still, the hatred deep inside my heart didn't go away. I changed the name of the kingdom to the kingdom of awakeneds, and from then on, non-awakened people were not allowed to buy fixed assets here.
I turned this place into a hub for awakened people from all over the world. The non-awakened could only come to work, stay on rent for a limited time, and do trading, that's all. They were not given citizenship.
This does sound kinda racist, and I won't deny it. I don't think I can look at non-awakened people in the same way I used to before.
That day, that ritual, it changed me. It showed me the darkness that can lurk in the hearts of the powerless, the desperate things they would do for a taste of power.
And yep, here I am, still kicking. Not only did I keep my throne, but I also made my kingdom the strongest kingdom there is. I am Queen Maddie Madone, and my word is law.
However, I still have some questions that I need answers to.
Call me stupid, but I actually want to have a one-on-one conversation with Aphrodite.
I want to ask her so many questions. Like, how in hell did those non-awakened bastards manage to summon her, one of the kings of hell?
I know there were awakeneds backing him, although they technically didn't summon her. It was only a hollow form of hers, not her actual body, but still...
Did they make some contract prior to it? Or did she just choose to accept the summoning for whatever reason?
And even if she did, then why?
She even killed my uncle and his two kids, even though they were supposed to be allies.
Or am I just overreacting?
Did my uncle, in his greed for the throne, shake hands with corrupt nobles and try to summon something even they couldn't control, and ended up dying instead?
Whatever the reason, I want to ask her myself.
I know it kinda feels stupid after all these years, risking my life for that, but I really want it. I need to know. I need to understand why did she turn me into a girl,
Sparing only me? Even though none of them who looked into her eyes were alive.
Hmm... What if her answer makes me angry or distasteful? Will i fight ?
Well, I'll decide based on the answer.
Maybe I'll try to kill her. Maybe I'll just have to live with it. I don't know.
Still, all in all, I shouldn't forget about Scarlet. She is the reason I'm here and alive. If she says no, then it's a no. Her opinion means more to me than my own curiosity.
In the past, I favored her and had a crush on her, but now I'm indebted to her from head to toe.