They say every good thing must come to an end. And so did their car ride. As fun as it had been, they had arrived at her house, and it was time for reality to set back in for Gianna. She looked at the mansion before her; cold, unfeeling and so completely isolated from the rest of the world, it physically hurt to look at it. She couldn't believe she was going back in there and she gulped down the heavy lump in her throat.
She fixed her face and turned to Xavier. "This is my stop," and she smiled through the growing pain in her chest. Like he said, she wasn't very good at hiding her feelings and he saw right through the façade. Xavier's eyes stayed glued to her face and the longer he stared, the more anxious she got because a part of her knew he was trying to decipher her emotions. She averted her gaze, her attention shifting to her interlocked fingers in her lap and she gripped them tightly, hoping he wouldn't ask her anything. She was too afraid of the conversation blooming between them— heavy, intense and oh so present, it felt as though it could literally suffocate the very breath out of her. It hung between them so brutally, and she prayed he didn't notice how stiffly she was sitting. She shifted in her seat and the sound of her twitching was the only source of sound in the car. She cleared her throat and tried to break the silence.
''I think your step mother doesn't like me,'' she joked, in an attempt to dispel the growing tension. Xavier finally stopped pinning her with his intense gaze and looked ahead of him instead, smiling a little.
"You think that's funny?'' Gianna gave him a pointed look, her eyebrows raised in question. He chuckled. ''Yeah I think it is because her opinions do not matter. Not to me,'' he shrugged. Not that his response was surprising but she realized that one thing about Xavier was that he was never afraid to express exactly how he felt about people. He wasn't one to filter his words to appease the crowd. No. He would just tell you exactly what was on his mind.
She pursed her lips as she didn't quite know how to respond. Conversations like that were delicate, almost earth shattering if not approached in a certain way and she didn't want to stir up unpleasant memories. Not after the good time they both had. She decided to drop the pursuit of the question.
"Did you give the mall your permission to post your pictures?" He asked after the beat she let marinate between them and her eyes widened, surprised that he knew about it. Gianna raised her eyebrows at him in a "how did you know" and he gave her a smile. "I have my ways." "I did agree to do the shoot. I just didn't think that was what they were going to be used for. Although I should have guessed when they asked explicitly that I model. I probably let Tiana get into my head." When he arched a brow, as if asking who Tiana was, she chuckled lightly.
"Tiana's my best friend. She's a jolly little girl, that one." Xavier saw the way her eyes lit up when she talked about the girl and he was very glad there was someone out there who could elicit such a reaction from her.
It proved she wasn't always on edge, allowing at least one person to have a glimpse of the person she actually was.
He wanted to be able to do that too. When she thought of him, he wanted her to have the biggest smile, maybe even bigger than the one she had on for her best friend. And just like that, Xavier's life mission in that moment was just to make her happy.
The twinkle in her eyes was so captivating he couldn't look away. She was lovely. Xavier frowned, "do you want them to be taken down?" He asked about the pictures and Gianna turned to look at him. She considered it and slowly shook her head. "I did want them gone at first, but not anymore."
"Why?"
His curiosity spiked, not being able to resist the urge of asking. Gianna thought about it, like that was the first time she was actually allowing herself to think of the reason. "She ended up shrugging. "I realized I was just being too hard on myself and that it was okay to let myself live in the moment sometimes. And I found out it wasn't bad at all so I let it be," she sounded like a person that had found their purpose in life. Xavier was genuinely amazed at her answer and he nodded, letting her words sink into his heart.
"You sound so wise," he ended up saying.
"What? You expected a spoilt, little brat?" She quirked a brow, a teasing smile on her face as she looked at him. His brows drew together and she wondered what he was thinking about. "No. More like a girl that had to grow up quickly because she realized the world isn't a very nice place," he searched her eyes, and the smile quickly dropped from her face. The impact of his words hit her so hard, he might have as well plunged a knife into her heart instead. It might just have hurt less than the words he said. She turned away from him. To look out the window? To gather herself? Or to not let him see that, that's exactly how it was? She didn't know. What she knew was that she wasn't ready to allow anyone see that side of her and for him to hit the nail right on the head, it scared her more than anything.
Xavier realized what he had done and he clenched his hands so tight, he didn't even feel his own fingers biting into his palms, drawing blood. Fuck? What had he done. He vowed to himself a second ago to make her happy. His eyes raked over her stiff body as she continued to face away from him. Fuck, his heart hurt so much at causing her pain. He raised his head as if to hold her and she turned abruptly, startling even him who hadn't anticipated it. "I'm sorry." The hurt in his voice was so palpable, he could feel it burn his throat. He didn't need to say sorry. And that wasn't why she faced him. Her eyes traveled to his hands and she stared at them for a long time in deep concentration.
She had smelled the metallic scent of blood in the air. Without saying anything she held his hand, and with the gentlest tug, like how one would treat an injured child, pried his palms open. He was bleeding, and the blood was all over his palm. It pulled at her heartstrings and she tried to swallow the tears causing her throat to sting. She took her handkerchief and dabbed on the wound as slowly as she could. Xavier felt her worry and reached for the hand that was holding his so gently, he might as well be porcelain.
"You don't have to worry, Gia, I'm fine," he tried to reassure her. "Do you hurt yourself to make yourself feel better or what? How could you even do this to yourself? She snapped at him, her worry, anger and frustration meeting his stubbornness head on. Gianna huffed, averting her gaze from him. He had made her so mad. She had never lost her temper like this before and she tried to reign in her emotions.
Xavier was quite stunned by her outburst but it didn't upset him. He knew exactly how she felt. And honestly, he deserved it. Damn it! How could he let himself hurt her twice in one day when he swore to... He clenched his teeth, so mad at himself he wanted to punch something but that would hurt her even more and he wasn't going to do that. Not anymore. Not even unintentionally.
"I'm sorry." It came so easily for someone who wasn't used to apologizing and he realized he would do anything for her. Fuck. He would do whatever if that meant she wasn't in pain. "Sorry, sorry as if you did it just to apologize. Don't do something bad, if you'll only end up regretting it," she scolded, pulling his hands towards her as she continued to clean the blood off of his palm. "Yes ma'am!" He saluted with his good hand, and maybe it was because Gianna knew he was only like this in her presence but she found herself smiling even when she didn't intend to. She was still very mad at him for hurting himself. "I won't do it again. I promise. I just...what I said earlier...I didn't—
"It's okay. I know what you meant and you were right. It was just unexpected. I'm not mad at that. That would just make me an unreasonable person," and she chuckled.
She tied the handkerchief around his palm. "Make sure to disinfect the wound when you get home," she instructed and it warmed his heart. It had been long since anyone was so worried at his expense. He looked at the floral design on the handkerchief, marveling at it's intricacy. "You embroidered it?" He signaled with his eyes to his hand. Her eyes fell on it. "Yes." Xavier smiled. "It's very pretty. Too bad it had to be used to treat my wound," he clicked his tongue. "Yeah too bad," she added jokingly and they looked at each other at the same time, the joke eliciting smiles from both of them.