"Day 7,305."
I woke up to the same face.
The same eyes.
The same scars hidden beneath my clothes.
Funny.
A part of me still wakes up expecting the mirror to show someone else. Someone untouched. Someone who never met him.
But, it never does.
Maybe I ask for too much.
I don't pray to be prettier like other girls in my college.
I don't pray to become rich.
But every night, I ask whoever is up there for only one thing.
Please... don't let me meet him again. That's all.
I can't even say his name.
His name better be left unsaid, forgotten.
Three years ago, I nearly collapsed in the middle of the street because I mistook a stranger for him.
Same height.
Same build.
Same walk.
For one terrifying second...
I couldn't breathe.
It wasn't him.
Thank God.
Ever since then, I've added another line to my nightly prayers.
Lord... if You're planning to take me someday, please let it happen before I ever see him again.
My fingers brushed over the faded scars across my shoulder before I quickly pulled my sleeves back down.
They're lighter now.
Not gone.
Maybe they never will be.
Still...
I'm here.
Day 7,305.
Somehow I survived long enough to write another page.
These pages, not even my friends know about these.
Liam and Warrin, my best friends.
They'd probably call me dramatic if they saw this. I wish they don't.
I wish I never have to live that life again.
I closed my journal.
Some thoughts were easier to trap between pages than inside my own head.
Sliding beneath my duvet again, I shut my eyes.
Sleep.
That was supposed to be my safe place.
Reality couldn't reach me there.
...
"...No."
My body trembled.
"Please..."
The words caught in my throat.
"I don't want to go."
A pair of unseen hands dragged me backward.
"No...!"
I jerked upright, sucking in a sharp breath.
Morning sunlight spilled through the curtains, painting my bedroom gold.
Another nightmare.
My heart still refused to believe it was over.
"Why...?"
The whisper escaped before I could stop it.
"My dreams are all I have left."
I pressed both hands against my temples.
"Why do you keep following me there too?"
Silence answered.
I glanced at the clock.
Too early.
Way too early.
But sleep wasn't coming back.
Not after that.
With a tired sigh, I headed toward the bathroom.
The mirrir greeted me before I was ready.
I stared at my reflection.
Same black hair.
Same tired eyes.
Same haunted expression.
"So..."
A bitter smile appeared.
"My face still hasn't changed."
I splashed cold water across my cheeks.
Once.
Twice.
Again.
As if washing hard enough could erase the memories.
"It won't change." I muttered.
Not today.
Not tomorrow.
Not ever.
I dried my face and pulled on my hoodie.
I can't be here at this moment. I have to go.
I grabbed my bag, my phone, and my headphones before walking out of the room.
My brother's room came into the view, right across mine in the hallway.
He must still be sleeping. I sighed and left a note on the fridge before leaving.
Dawn had only just begun to brighten the streets.
The cold bit through my cheeks. Making it cherry.
I shoved both of my hands into my pockets and kept walking.
A bus rolled past, the fogged-up windows easily hid the supposedly sleepy faces inside.
School students.
Maybe.
For a second I wished I were sitting among them instead of wandering through the freezing morning alone.
The feeling passed as quickly as it came.
Liam's house wasn't far.
I stopped outside his front door and pulled out my phone to tap his contact.
The call connected.
Thank God.
"Open the door."
A pause.
"I'm outside."
Several loud footsteps thundered through the house before the front door swung open.
Liam stood there, hair sticking out in every direction, shirt half-buttoned and eyes... barely open.
"You're kidding." He said.
I just blinked as he stared at me.
"Summer."
"What?" I said.
"It's 6:30."
"So?"
"Our class starts at 10."
I offered him an innocent smile. WHich he knew was fake.
"Good morning." I said cheerfully.
Liam let out a long sigh.
"You woke me up to say good morning."
"...No, I couldn't sleep."
"So, you decided neither should I?"
"Exactly." I grinned.
"Now quit whining and get ready. We're kidnapping Warrin next."
Liam rubbed a hand over his face.
"...One day I'm changing my house and phone number."
"You've been saying that for five years." I laughed. "Let's go."
I barged inside his home.