Her steps felt slower than usual. When she finally reached the apartment door and stepped inside, the quiet greeted her immediately. She shook her head lightly.
"Definitely just mood swings," she murmured to herself. Except the excuse was starting to sound less convincing every time she repeated it.
Rachel's voice suddenly called from the kitchen. "Mama! Did Dada forget something?"
Bella blinked and walked in. Rachel was standing on a chair near the table, searching the surface carefully.
"No," Bella said gently. "He left already."
Rachel frowned slightly. "Oh."
She climbed down from the chair and walked over to Bella.
"Did he go?"
"Yes."
Rachel thought about that for a moment. Then she sighed dramatically.
"That's boring."
Bella chuckled softly despite herself. Rachel somehow managed to look adorable even while complaining.
Rachel grabbed her backpack. "I'll tell him when he calls that I miss him already."
The agreement slipped out too naturally.
Because Bella wanted to say the same thing.
No.
She shut the thought down immediately.
They didn't have that kind of relationship.
Bella dropped off Rachel at her school and came back. The apartment became quiet again once Rachel left.
Bella returned to the kitchen. Lucas's coffee mug was still sitting on the table. She stared at it for a moment before picking it up. The faint warmth was already gone. She rinsed the mug slowly.
His watch which used to rest on the side table whenever he was home was not there. Bella looked away quickly.
Okay. Maybe she missed him a little. Which was ridiculous considering he'd only been gone a few hours.
"Stop it," she muttered under her breath. Hormones. That was all this was. At least that explanation still sounded safe.
She still had work to do. Laundry. Cleaning the windows. Designs to finish. A job to start on Monday.
Bella sat at the dining table and opened her sketchbook again. The pencil touched the paper. Then stopped.
Her mind drifted back to the same thought. Lucas was probably already at the airport. No. Probably already on the plane. The thought returned so automatically that Bella frowned. Why did she keep thinking about him?
Bella tapped the pencil lightly against the paper.
'Do you miss him, Bella?' The thought appeared so suddenly that she frowned.
"No," she whispered automatically. Her own voice sounded strangely loud in the quiet apartment.
"This marriage existed because of the baby. Because of Rachel. It wasn't supposed to become something else. I can't miss him like that."
But the thought refused to leave.
'Then do you miss his warmth, his voice, his presence. Do you want him to be close around you?'
Her mind drifted through the moments they had shared. Their proximity on random nights. His touch. His hands on her waist. His lips on hers. But she shrugged them off.
"This is ridiculous," she murmured.
She forced herself to draw again. This time, she managed it.
Meanwhile, miles away, Lucas leaned back in his seat on his private jet. The cabin lights were dim. Staff around him were settling in quietly for the flight.
Lucas loosened his seatbelt slightly and closed his eyes. For the first time since morning, he allowed himself to relax. Or at least he tried to.
Bella's face appeared in his mind almost immediately. The way she had run toward him. The way her hands had clutched his jacket, like it was the only anchor she needed.
Lucas exhaled slowly. He hadn't expected that. He had thought she was calm about him leaving. Then she had looked like she might break apart.
Lucas rubbed his temple lightly.
"Mood swings," he muttered quietly.
Yet the image of Bella crying against him refused to leave his mind. He'd seen her emotional before. But this had felt different. Too real. Too instinctive.
He reached into his jacket pocket. Rachel's drawing was folded carefully inside.
Lucas opened it again. Three stick figures stood proudly in the middle of the page. He stared at it for a moment before leaning his head back against the seat.
For the first time in a long while, the idea of returning somewhere felt… important. Not the city. Not the office. The apartment. His home.
Strange how quickly he'd gotten used to them being there with him. Rachel running toward him at the door. Bella standing in the kitchen pretending she wasn't worried. He folded the drawing again and placed it carefully back in his pocket.
The plane engines roared louder as it began climbing higher. Lucas closed his eyes. A week suddenly felt longer than it had yesterday.
_______
The apartment was unusually quiet that night.
Bella turned off the last light and walked toward the bedroom, Rachel already half-asleep in her arms.
"Come on, sweetheart," she murmured softly, adjusting her hold.
Rachel mumbled something unintelligible and rested her head against Bella's shoulder.
Bella laid her down carefully on the bed and pulled the blanket over her. Rachel immediately curled closer.
"Mama…"
"I'm here," Bella whispered.
Rachel's fingers caught the edge of Bella's sleeve, holding onto it loosely even in her sleep.
Bella lay down beside her, wrapping an arm around her small frame. For a while, everything was still. The faint hum of the heater.
The soft rhythm of Rachel's breathing. Bella closed her eyes. She was tired. She should have fallen asleep easily. Pregnancy usually made falling asleep easier these days. She rarely woke up during the night anymore.
The whole day had been exhausting. But something felt off. Bella shifted slightly under the blanket. It felt colder.
She frowned faintly, pulling the blanket up higher. Still cold. Her eyes opened again.
For a moment she just stared at the ceiling. It took her a few seconds to realize what was missing. The warmth beside her. Lucas.
Bella turned her face slightly toward the empty side of the bed. It looked exactly the same. But it didn't feel the same. She exhaled quietly.
"I need to sleep," she murmured under her breath.
Rachel shifted again, pressing closer to her. Bella instinctively tightened her hold around her. At least Rachel was warm. Bella closed her eyes again. A few seconds passed. Then a minute. Then more.
Sleep didn't come. Her mind drifted back to the call earlier in the evening.
The phone rang just as Bella was collecting toys which she scattered while playing with Rachel. She glanced at the screen. Lucas.
For a second, she just stared at it before answering.
"Hello?"
"I reached, Bella."
His voice was calm. Familiar. And yet… slightly different. Bella nodded instinctively before realizing he couldn't see her. She went to sit on the bed.
"That's good."
A small pause followed.
"How was the flight?" she asked.
"Fine."
Another pause. Bella shifted slightly on the bed, tucking her legs under herself.
"Did you eat?"
"Yes. What about you?"
"I ate at the right time and have taken my medicine too."
He just hummed in satisfaction. The quiet confirmation eased a tension he hadn't realized he'd been carrying all day.
Silence again. It wasn't uncomfortable exactly. But it wasn't normal either. Usually, Rachel would be talking in the background. But she was busy watching cartoons in the living room, completely absorbed in them.
Now both of them seemed strangely careful with each other. And the distance between them only made it more noticeable.
"You sound tired," Bella said after a moment.
"Long day."
"Hmm."
Lucas leaned back in his chair, his gaze drifting toward the window of the hotel room.
"What did you do today?"
Bella hesitated briefly. "Nothing much. Some house chores, played with Rachel and tried working."
"Tried?"
She let out a small breath. "Didn't go very well."
Lucas's lips curved faintly. As far as he knew, once Bella focused on designing, she usually forgot about everything else around her.
"Why?"
Bella didn't answer immediately.
"I don't know," she said finally. "Couldn't focus."
Lucas was quiet for a second.
"Is something troubling you?" he asked softly.
"No. It's just about the inspiration. I was not getting any at that time," she replied just as softly. She couldn't exactly tell him he had occupied most of her thoughts all day.
"Then don't force it."
Bella almost laughed softly. If Lucas knew he was the reason she couldn't focus in the first place, he probably would've blamed it on hormones again.
If anything, he was unknowingly making it harder for her to stop thinking about him.
"That's not how work works."
"It can. Creativity needs time, Bella."
She smiled faintly despite herself. Somehow, Lucas always found explanations for her reactions before she had to.
Another pause. This one lingered a little longer than before. Neither of them hung up. Bella noticed it immediately. Lucas noticed it too. Yet neither of them said anything about it. Bella glanced at the clock. She knew it was already night there.
"You should rest," she said quietly.
"Hmm." Lucas still didn't end the call.
"Lucas?"
"Yes."
"Goodnight."
A small pause.
"Goodnight, Bella."
The call ended, but his voice still lingered in her mind afterward.
Bella turned onto her side, facing Rachel, and gently brushed her fingers through her hair. She let out a slow breath and finally closed her eyes again, though the cold didn't seem to leave completely.