North America / California (Hearst Castle): February 27, 1993.
(Crystalline's POV)
I was currently inside of my private music studio in hearst castle with a ugly look on my face while staring at the microphone in front of me like it personally owed me money.
The room was dim, expensive and dead silent except for the soft hum of the equipment, the piano sitting there minding its own business, and my grandmother selena who was behind the glass in the control room with a bonnet on her head, a silk robe around her body and a expression on her face like she was about to either help me heal or piss me off. Most likely both.
I clicked my teeth and looked down at the lyric sheet in my hand and thought calmly "I still can't believe I sung all this at the funeral and didn't pass out or throw up after. Grief really will have your ass doing broadway against your will"
I looked up through the glass at selena and said loudly into the microphone "If you touch the wrong button and mess my vocals up, i'ma put your ass out this castle."
Selena rolled her eyes so hard I swear I almost heard them shift and said while chewing gum "Girl shut the fuck up and sing. I know what i'm doing."
I stared at her for a moment and said with a flat look on my face "You absolutely do not."
Selena put her hand over her chest dramatically and said "Wow. See this is why old people die early. Disrespect."
I rolled my eyes and muttered "Girl please."
The room went silent again.
I looked back down at the lyric sheet and thought while rubbing my smooth chin "I don't even know why I'm nervous. I wrote none of this with intention. It just came out at the funeral like grandma mia dragged it out of my chest herself. But if I don't record it now, it's gonna keep lingering in my spirit and I don't have time to be haunted when I got enemies, money and a future to deal with"
Selena pressed the talkback button and said more seriously this time "Alina."
I looked up.
Selena had a different look on her face now. Still selena. Still rough around the edges. But real.
"Just sing it. Don't pretty it up. Don't perform it. Don't try to act all polished and legendary and shit. Just sing it how it hurts." Said selena while pointing at me through the glass.
The studio was silent.
I blinked and said slowly "That was actually useful."
Selena flicked her bonnet string and said proudly "I know. Now stop looking shocked before I change my mind and go watch tv."
I sighed and adjusted the microphone stand.
"Start the piano soft." I said calmly while putting the headphones on and adjusting my bun.
Selena nodded and pressed the right buttons this time.
A soft piano melody started.
Bare. Gentle. Sad as hell.
I took a deep breath, looked down for at the lyric sheet and looked back up and said singing in a low register, holding the notes midway "Mia, with one more looks at you."
"I can learn to change the clouds, and let the sun shine through." I said singing in a low register, holding and placing the notes midway with masterful phrasing.
"Leave a troubled past and I might start anew. I solve the mysteries." I said singing in a airy tone as I held the notes midways.
"If mia's the prize. Refresh these tired I's." I said singing, sliding up the register midway and bringing it back down while holding the notes lonely as I played with my fingernails.
I looked back down at the floor momentarily for a moment and said singing in a low register and held the notes midway as I gestured outward with both of my hands as I stared at something beyond the glass in front of me "Mia. With one more look at you…I might overcome the anger. That I've learned to hold."
"Find a peace of mind. I LOST SO LONG AGO. Your gentle touch…" I said singing in a low register a momentarily transitioning into a high register and sliding back down smoothly as I held the notes. midway with my right hand outstretched.
I stepped up slightly and said singing in a slightly higher register as I held the notes longly and brought it back down to a low register with a look of resolve on my face "Has made me strong again. Now I belong again."
The melody stepped up a notch.
A soft drum and piano beat came in from behind me with a violin.
I closed my eyes and kept going, feeling my chest get tighter the more I sunk into it.
"Mia. Or when you look at me….I'M EVERYTHING AND MORE. That I had dreamed I'd be." I said I singing in a low register while transitioning words slightly and bringing it back down with my arms raised up with pride as I looked up at the ceiling with a big smile on my face despite the tears in my eyes.
"My spirit breaths, so promise. I won't be alone." I said singing in a mid register as I held the notes slightly and midway.
"We'll love and live more. Love and live." I said singing with no notes and masterful phrasing as tears streamed down my face form my eyes.
I heard the chair behind the glass creak and looked up slightly and seen selena wipe under her eyes fast like she thought I wouldn't notice and thought "Damn. It got her to. Good"
The melody stepped up a notch again.
"FOREVER. MIA, WITH ONE MORE LOOK AT. I'LL LEARN TO CHANGE THE STARS AND CHANGE OUR FORTUNES TO." I said singing. Unexpectedly sliding all the way up the register into a very high whistle register and held the note longly on a sharp bell like g7. My head raised upward with widened eyes.
Selena jolted in the chair and slapped the desk.
"SHIT." She said loudly through the glass.
I looked down at my hands and brought the register back down with and said singing. Phrasing in a low register with no notes "I held the constellation. Make you watch it to. All the world, might share this one…yes, so right. Save it."
"The world could end each night. Mia, with one more look at you." I said singing in a low register as I held the note longly.
Suddenly the melody started to slow down an transitioned into a quick piano melody.
I stared at my reflection in the studio glass for a moment and said singing in a low register as I held the notes longly with a gentle smile on my face "With one more look at you. I, want, one, more look at you."
"Are you watching me now." I said singing in a regular register. Holding the notes midway.
I bit my bottom lip slightly and said singing in a regular register as I played with the register "Watch closely now."
"Your eyes are like fingers. Touching my body." I said singing in a regular register with no notes.
Tears streamed down my face again and I didn't bother wiping them. I just kept going because if I stopped I probably wouldn't have wanted to start back.
"ARISE IN ME SO. I'm riding the passion." I said singing in a high register as I held the notes longly.
"Rising inside me." I said singing in a regular register with no notes.
I smiled through the ache and said singing in a airy tone as I chewed at the vowels and made it echo in and out. Holding the notes longly "How hard can I go. Your coming with me."
"I'm gonna show you how." I said singing in a regular register as I shifted up and down the register smoothly and held the notes very longly.
I looked through the glass at selena and said singing in a regular register and held the notes longly as I twirled my left hand in a circle more "And if it's scary…YAH. I won't look down."
"Mia. ARE YOU WATCHING ME NOW. WATCH CLOSELY." I said singing in a very high register and holding the notes longly with my head raised upward.
I held the headphones with my right hand and said singing in a shifting register with no notes "I feel the hunger. RISING IN YOUR EYES AND EACH DAY WE ARE ON OUR OWN. It's higher and harder. It's faster and farther."
I inhaled slightly, my chest burning, and let the final line come out with everything I had in me.
"THAT I'VE EVER GONE." I said singing in a very high and clear sustained bell like g5 belt longly as I crouched fowward slightly.
The last note rang out through the studio.
Then silence.
Pure silence.
The piano faded.
The violin faded.
My chest was heaving.
My face was wet.
And the lyric paper in my hand had tear spots on it.
I slowly took one side of the headphones off and looked through the glass.
Selena didn't say shit at first.
She just sat there with her mouth tight and her eyes glossy, staring at me like she had got slapped in the soul.
Then she pressed the talkback button and said with a thick voice "Again."
I stared at her and asked quietly "What."
Selena sniffed, dabbed under one eye and said loudly "Again. Run that motherfucker back."
I blinked and asked tiredly "Was it good."
Selena had the ugliest crying face I ever seen in my life and said "No bitch it was terrible that's why i'm over here looking like somebody pepper sprayed my spirit."
I laughed softly and covered my face with my hand for a second.
"You are so dramatic." I said tiredly with a sigh.
"And you are stalling. Sing it again. This time sit in the line 'Find a peace of mind. I LOST SO LONG AGO' a little more. That's where it broke open. Don't rush past it trying to act strong." Said selena while sitting up straighter in the chair and fixing the levels.
I slowly lowered my hand from my face and looked at her for a moment.
Then I nodded once.
"Ok, fine." I said quietly with a sigh.
Selena pointed at me and said "And don't you dare touch these lyrics. Don't rewrite shit. Don't remix shit. Don't get in one of your little weird genius moods and try to update it with no drums and moaning."
I had a weird look on my face and said "Why do you act like I would do that. Why would I slip a fucking moan into a song."
Selena just stared at me.
I clicked my teeth and muttered "I mean…not to this one. I only did that as a testing to see if my equipment worked, it was never released."
"Exactly. Now sing before I come in there and beat your ass myself. Now sing before I come in there and beat your ass myself." Said selena while pressing the button again.
I chuckled softly, put the headphones fully back on and thought while the piano restarted "This is more like it. Grief, threats and family. Very on brand"
Then I straightened up and started again.
And this time when I sang mia, with one more look at you, it didn't feel like I was trying to drag her back to me.
It felt like I was making sure the world would never be allowed to forget she was here.
She gave us love, music, wisdom and a presence that time itself will never erase. We will remember her memory as we take one more look at her.
She is mia knowles.
…
THE END…