Maybe it was her own delusions that convinced Younghee everything between her and Ari was fine as long as she acted carefully for a bit until Ari silently forgave her as always, but a normal person would realise using the same method every time would mean the other person would have developed some sort of defence mechanism to it by now. And Ari truly did.
For the past three days, she had been staying with friends under the excuse she was busy with schoolwork but they both knew that was a lie - who gets swarmed with that much work at the start of the year?
It wasn't like Younghee could ask why she was lying either so she could only wait.
The textbooks on her desk that had not been moved for days were starting to collect dust and the phone on-top of it suddenly rang.
Thinking it was her, Younghee picked it up immediately without checking.
"Hey, is Ari there with you?" Harin asked.
"No. What do you want?"
"So cold.. I heard her favourite author is doing a pop-up tomorrow, right before the event. I was calling to let you know, you should get her something from that."
"What event?"
"The book signing one. Did she not tell you?"
"...Where is it?"
-
For someone who had no reason to see her ever again, since they no longer had a class together, imagine Nari's surprise when the only empty seat she stumbled across in the library was opposite Ari.
Nari quietly set her bag down and opened her laptop, hoping Ari wouldn't notice her. They weren't on bad terms but for some reason she felt really on edge lately. To be honest, every time they talked, it was like Ari's niceness was rehearsed - perfected through practice, and Nari did not have the time nor energy to deal with it.
Seriously if you have a problem, just say it.
As annoyed as she was that Ari would rather pretend there was nothing wrong, at least that meant Ari wouldn't tell anyone else. Normally, her assumption would be right except nothing had bothered Ari as much as, well, her.
Ari leaned back on her chair as she stretched her arms, submitting a piece of work that wasn't set to be due for another week.
That's everything... I guess I could get started on the research project.
Her finger hovered over the mousepad, switching between the tabs for a quick moment before she decided to take a break. She had never liked the university libraries that much and it was somewhere she'd only go with friends so she didn't lose her mind over the pressure to be constantly working. Proactively choosing to stay here over going home had put a few things in perspective for her.
I'll go back tomorrow.
Deciding to go for a walk, her eyes naturally looked around, observing everyone else still studying.
Ah.
Nari looked up as she felt a tap on her shoulder.
"Let's go outside for a bit."
Yeah, I don't really want to..
Nari unwillingly grabbed her jacket and followed Ari out to a seating area near the back of the building. She thanked Ari as she handed her a drink from the vending machine.
"What did--"
"About--"
"Oh sorry, you go ahead."
Ari smiled, "I just wanted to say sorry for last time. I was being really rude."
"It's fine, you weren't wrong anyway."
Something about Nari's response seemed to irritate her more.
Why are you so calm about this?
"You know, I saw something weird the other day. I'm sure I'm wrong but did you and Younghee used to... go out?"
Nari placed the drink on the bench they were sitting on, her expression still as calm as she had been but her voice couldn't mask the anxiety. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh Nari come on," Ari scoffed. "She showed me a picture."
"Who did?"
"Jen."
What, how..
The shock on her face became obvious, but it wasn't as big of a reaction as Ari thought it would be. After a moment of silence, Nari sighed and took her phone out. Ari watched as she scrolled up through her photo gallery, a part of her hoping she was going to show her something that proved Jen was just kidding and that what she saw wasn't real.
That didn't happen. Nari stopped at a picture she had taken just a few days ago, one of Ari and the guy in their class.
"I'll delete this if you promise not to say anything to her."
Ari narrowed her eyes. "What has that got to do with this?"
"You don't have a right to be jealous, so just leave it be."
-
The evening Ari had been looking for for weeks was finally here. She had secured an autograph from her favourite author with a personalised message and even had a long chat with her.
Her happiness was so obvious, the friend she invited to come with her kept teasing her about it on their way home.
"I knew you were a fan but you've been smiling the whole day, you're turning red." The guy smiled, poking the side of her face.
"Uh... go away... I'm just so happy," Ari said, covering her face with her hands.
"Haha, well I'm glad you had a good time."
"Mm... Thanks for going with me."
"No problem, I'll see you tomorrow."
Ari nodded. She waved him bye as the car drove off, the smile on her face faltering as she stood in-front of the apartment building.
Ari sighed, grabbing her keys she had put in the same pocket as her phone that was put on silent.
The call dropped just as she was about to answer it. It didn't matter anyway since the caller was stood on the other side of the street.
Oh. I thought she would've been back by now.
She had been so happy and energetic the whole day, yet in that moment, Ari couldn't even muster up the strength to smile.
Younghee's hand that was holding the phone dropped by her side, her other hand that was holding a gift-bag of some sort suddenly tossed it to the side as she grabbed Ari's arm.
"What is..." Ari trailed off as she recognised the keychains that had fallen onto the ground, the same ones that she wasn't able to get her hands on because they didn't know of the pop-up sale until it already ended. "Why do you have that?"
She winced as the grip on her arm became tighter, "ow, let go."
Ari grabbed her hand, trying to stabilise herself as Younghee began pulling her towards the staircase. The silence and grim look on her face was alarming enough for Ari to realise she wasn't listening to her.
"I said let go! What is the matter with you?"
Younghee stopped in her tracks as the question echoed through the empty stairway. "What is the matter with me? You don't come home for days, I don't hear anything from you, and then you get dropped off by a guy I've never seen before. What do you think is the matter?"
"Oh, like you tell me everything? You still haven't told me why you left."
"What? I told you it was just for a meeting—"
"Not that. Three years."
"…"
"I didn't come home for three days but you knew exactly where I was and who I was staying with. You left for three years and I got nothing. Not a single text or call. I had to find out from In Harin. How do you think I felt? Even your sister…"
"I didn't tell her."
"Ah right, sure. Then how does she know?"
"How would I know that? Maybe she actually took an interest in my life?"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"What do you expect me to say Ari? I'm sorry I left, okay? I am. But it's not like I had a choice—"
"That's not what I'm mad about!…"
A harsh silence fell on them. Something they used to find comfort in now was more suffocating than anything could ever be.
Ari took a deep breath, trying to compose herself as best as she could. "You didn't tell me. At all. You never do. You can't be mad when I'm acting exactly how you did."
The part of Ari that always preferred to choose ignorance would never want something like this to happen. She was perfectly content with continuing their relationship like nothing was wrong. Now, it was clear, indifference is always the right answer.
But just how indifferent can you be over someone you care about?
The few months they had spent apart over the winter gave her a partial answer.
"Let's keep our distance for a bit."
This time, she had to be sure.