Chapter 27 - XXVI. The Solstices of Rebirth Part. 1

A/N:

Hello ^^

Sorry for the chapter delay, I got really ill and then just got stuck in this chapter for a really long time (as you can see by the size of it). I had to cut it off in 2 parts here in webnovel bcz it was too long so I apologize.

I strongly recommend reading it in parts, a lot happens and it might take a while for you to read the whole thing. I appreciate the patience.

The index was updated last chapter with new information.

Please read the notes at the end of the chapter.

Enjoy!

⚠︎ This chapter has no significant warnings.

♬ White Flag by Bishop Briggs ♬

"The cycle that ends also begins another, the endless circle of life, death and rebirth, bringing forth emotions of bliss and terror, can one even break such a vicious cycle?"

Nikias' favorite phrase is 'do not test my patience', but what does truly happen once his patience runs dry? He's currently sitting in his office, wearing official clothes, ready to leave for the Exos Empire's Founding Day Festival, and he would've left already, if it weren't for the incompetence of his own Knights. 

The office is devoid of any light yet shines brightly with Nikias' mana alone, his eyes being the brightest there, even the fairy is hidden under his chair, scared of her owner's power. The three Knights in front of him tremble from the pressure, their skin sizzles as the temperature of the room rises alongside with the brightness. Pain, pressure and fear, yet they cannot for the force inside them, move. 

It matters not that Scarlet is a Saint herself, or that Nikias is fond of Raphael and respects Gutierre. Nothing could calm the Prince down right now. 

He's been silent for six minutes now, when will he speak? Scarlet thinks, sweat dripping for her forehead, her hands completely numb from the drained blood as she clenches them behind her back. None of them was able to speak after Nikias' mood shifted, why did it even shift? 

Next to her, Raphael is trembling, guilt filling his senses, he's pale and his heart is beating fast, not even the pain of the blisters appearing in his arm is able to snap him away from Nikias' gaze.

What made Nikias so angry?

Well, it is actually a culmination of a lot of things. The failed operation on the mines, the lack of new information found during the whole month of investigations, the fact that nothing seems to be walking towards the path he attempted to forge, or even the fact that Lyor's last letter mentioned a growing impatience in the Morke Kingdom over the lack of ruling the King has been doing. His mind is overwhelmed, sure, but when was it not? He bounced back from recovering his childhood memories, from the nightmares of Zerah's death, and even more, he dealt excellently with the fact that he became a Prince that was considered better dead than alive by everyone.

He knew it wasn't his subordinates fault when the Time Cult evaded their observation, when they changed bases time and time again in the span of two weeks, or even when they asked for days off with bad timing, not everyone can work 20 hours a day like Fleuri. And again, he knew it wasn't their fault when Evangelia took the lead in the investigation of Margrave's death or when they didn't manage to find a single clue inside the estates Duke Sawdon was using under Nikias' name. 

If it was easy, it wouldn't be the main conflict of the original novel.

''How could you lose our only witness?'' Nikias' words are heavy, his voice is already deep in tone, but it sounds like an echoed bass now, making all of those present shiver. ''I am extremely aware of how overworked everyone is at this point'', he continued, his eyes fixed on the three Knights. ''That's why Fleuri made a schedule of observation, how much easier could it be? Is your salary low? Or could it be I don't provide enough benefits that you would prefer doing anything else but your job?'' His words sound like questions, but aren't really. ''Tell me now if you wish to break free from this job, I will be pleased to do so'', he says, tapping his finger on his desk.

A second, that's the whole time he waits to see if any of them will dare to respond to his words.

''I am against physical punishments'', he says, leaning back onto his chair, the vision of the Knights is beginning to fog as the pain of the burns are becoming unbearable. What is this then? If not a physical punishment? Scarlet wonders but eats her words. Even Gutierre who's significantly taller and broader than any other there is starting to tremble from the pain. Everyone else is older than Nikias, if anyone else from the Palace were seeing this situation they would laugh at the Knights for being pressured down by the Useless Prince, yet this is no laughing matter. The amount of mana he's leaking would kill a regular civilian, and even a regular experienced mage would start to feel faint after using so much mana involuntarily, yet the Prince is completely fine.

Petal faints, unable to breath under such an atmosphere, and that's the only thing that makes Nikias stop. He blinks slowly, retracting his mana before leaning down and grabbing the fairy carefully placing her on the handkerchief she sleeps on his desk. The Knights sigh with relief. 

''How should I punish you? What possibly can repay the damage you did to our investigation? To my goal?''

Now that they're able to move, Raphael is the first one to do so, getting on his knees, slamming his forehead on the floor, his skin is red, filled with blisters and bleeding, yet he doesn't even hesitate. ''I beg for your forgiveness, your highness''. The other two remain frozen still, Scarlet due to her knees being filled with blisters due to her summer uniform that exposes her knees, and Gutierre due to his brain being overwhelmed making him move slower.

''Is your health more important than my forgiveness?'' Nikias asks, looking at Scarlet, that shakes her head, also kneeling like Raphael. 

It's easy to think 'he needs me more than I need him' at first, both Scarlet and Gutierre thought like that, the only nobles in the order of Knights, they thought they had options, if it didn't work out, they could just find another alternative. Oh, how naive they were. Slowly Nikias has taken control of their lives, if he snaps his fingers and decides they're not worth it anymore, they would be, by all means, fucked. His control doesn't come from being a Prince, or their Lord. It comes from him knowing every single nook and cranny of their lives, of being the reason they came up from the bottom, restored their lives, their reputation.

Being the Knight of the Second Prince was something, even if he's not respected and a lot of Knights mock them, they have a status not easily acquired, especially for those forgotten by the very society they belong to.

Scarlet was broken by her own family, tossed aside, told to begone to a Temple in the outskirts, constantly reminded that if she weren't to marry, she would have no value. Forbidden to take upon the sword she loved by her own brother and repressed by her mother and father, her destiny had nothing but pain and anger. When Nikias offered his hand he made it seem as if she had no choice, as if he was saving her. In parts, he was. A Saint to a goddess that has no Temple in the Empire would be considered a heretic, stripped of any title she could even attempt to buy, not even exiled to a Temple as many unmarried women are. A Knight? In a religious Empire dedicated to a different god than hers? 

If she leaves, where will she go? To a different nation? Which? To live as a wandering woman in a place that doesn't respect her or her strength? She could try. But she grew up in high nobility, inside the comfort of riches and power, she can't even cook or clean her own messes, how could she become a wanderer?

It all came to the point where without this, she will become nothing.

And then there is Gutierre, he entered this himself, hoping to have a more stable job to pay off his debts and get the trust of his family back. Of course it worked, from a shameless baron that lowered himself as a mercenary, he became a Knight to a Prince and future King Consort. No one in his situation would even dare dream of such a blessing. His ex-wife allowed him back into her life, even if she has a new more level-headed husband now, and his children now smiled proudly while looking at him, his relationship with them went from estranged to affectionate. 

If it all came crumbling down, he had much more to lose than simply money or reputation. He could lose his family again, and he isn't sure if they would give him a third chance.

Raphael, of course, was the most desperate of all of them, he never thought this opportunity was easy or that he could back out at any time. No. From the start, he was always the one that needed Nikias the most. 

Perhaps he lost the sense of distance between commoner and noble somewhere in the middle, when Nikias spoke softly about novels they both liked, or when he asked him to sit down to share tea with him, he was more of a friend than a master, and Raphael was the one that cried the most when Nikias died, even if it was for a short while, he felt as if his heart was teared from his body. And when the Prince came back, different from before, with no memories of the time they shared, it hurt, yet he was glad he was alive. Slowly he regained the sense of distance they once had in the beginning, however old habits die hard, and he couldn't help but think that Nikias was still the same boy that laughed at his jokes about the books they loved.

How could he be the same when all that fills his bookshelves now are non-fiction books? The epic and romance novels were thrown away months ago.

He wanted to be useful, he worked hard to be. Even if Nikias wasn't the same anymore, he still was the same person that saved him and Lowe four years ago from a life of misery and gave them hope of a brighter future so he wanted to repay him at any cost.

But all he seems to be able to do is be… worthless.

Nikias sighs, tired. ''Do any of you know where she was taken to? Or by who?'' 

''Imperial Knights took her off her cell and smuggled her outside, I wasn't able to identify them yet'', Raphael answers, his face still glued to the floor.

''You three have 12 hours to find her'', Nikias says, getting up from his chair, carefully taking Petal and placing her inside his blazer's pocket. ''Go on'', he says after the Knights don't move.

The three Knights leave the room, and straight after Fleuri enters it accompanied by Dacre. The aide is wearing a navy simple suit with a golden handkerchief that has the Second Prince's symbol embroidered, while Dacre is wearing the social uniform of the Golden Phoenices.

''We will be late, your highness'', Fleuri says, ignoring the blood stains on the floor. 

Dacre, on the other hand, comments on it. ''You were too rough on them, we don't outrank Imperial Knights''.

Nikias stares at Dacre blankly for a moment before speaking. ''I can justify an Imperial Knight's death, but I cannot save a world destined to burn if I do not have all the pieces of the miracle''. His words make the other two silent, whatever he meant by that, it wasn't their place to question. 

''They work hard to gain your trust, especially Raphael'', Dacre says again as they walk the Palace's hallways. 

''I am aware''.

Even if Nikias cannot wrap his head around why they care so much, he is now aware of the impact of his actions in other people's lives. But there's nothing more important to him than surviving the end of the novel, surviving Vremes. And the more he furthers himself from his goal, the more anxious he grows to be. 

''Your highness, the carriages of your family already left, we must make haste'', Fleuri comments, checking his pocket watch anxiously. ''If you're late we'll be chastised by the people''.

''You speak as if I am not aware, Fleuri'', Nikias says with a sigh.

Their steps are loud in the empty hallway, the moon still shines brightly and their hearts are loud enough to be heard by the others. After all, this isn't like the other events they partake in the Empire.

Not even the birthday of the Emperor, Empress or Crown Prince are of such importance. 

December 29th is the day of the Founding of the Exos Empire by Aelius and Nyx. At the margins of the Aura River at the heart of the Capital, they fought the last battle against the last King, taking the throne and unifying the broken nearby Kingdoms, becoming the first Empire of the Likidm Continent. At 2:37 a.m., Emperor Aelius announced the birth of the Exos Empire, the birth of a new era and the beginning of a new calendar. 

''The sun that bathes us in the day and the moon that soakes us in the night, with the blessing of the gods we move away from pain, from death, and become one in joy and life.'' Engraved in the Founding Stone at the Capital's square are the words Aelius said that day. The Founding day isn't a simple celebration, it's the mark of the year, for not only the Exos Empire, but the whole world impacted by the exile of the Ancient god and death of the Tyrant King.

Even the Hai Empire that refuses to admit any Empire is greater than themselves, puts Aelius' story under the category of 'Heroes' in their libraries and uses the calendar and language he developed. 

Through the years, the celebration of the Founding Day evolved, from a small banquet, to a festival that starts at exactly 2:37 a.m. December 29th and ends at 4:32 a.m. January 1st. The reason for this is quite simple: one is the time and date of the founding of the Empire and the other is the time and date of Aelius' death. Making the almost four days of celebration the mark of the New Year and an extremely religious event in the Empire.

Up until now, Nikias haven't experienced the true nature of religion inside the Empire, there's almost no Priests in the Palace, and even if he and his 'mother' are Saints, such a fact isn't known by the others in the Empire. But just like every nation with their patron gods, the Exos Empire loves the Sun god and Moon goddess, so much so that they see any other religion as heretic.

Of course, their faith isn't nearly as strong as those living in the Morke Kingdom, they don't see their Emperor as a figure of salvation, and it helps that the Sun god and Moon goddess are constantly seen across the Empire, taking off a bit of the sense of mysticism of the gods.

The Festival has stalls in the square that are open 24/7, with music that never stops and food that stays warm all the time, people sleep as little as possible and even children can be seen on the streets late at night. Making the perfect time for any attacks, so the Knights patrol the streets all the time, even the Silver Crows partake in it, even Nikias' Knights were required to patrol, even if they're not officially recognized as Knights.

Except for Dacre and Jiwon, all the other Knights were obligated to take at least 6 hours of patrolling in the festival, Dacre was exempt because he is Nikias' personal Knight and since Jiwon is considered a Morke Knight, he was also exempt from such compulsory duty.

Nikias also has a role to play in the Festival, as the Imperial family must all be present to start the Festival, offering their loyalty to the gods and giving offerings to the first Emperor and Empress as a sign of following in their footsteps and bringing prosperity to the Empire. After the opening ceremony, the people are allowed to ask questions to the Imperial family, those who do are given a golden coin from the old times of the first Emperor as a blessing for being 'chosen' to speak. Just then the Festival officially begins.

It is considered a privilege to be able to speak with the Imperial family, and they are usually chosen by merits, those with good grades in the Academy, or those who did something worthy of a medal are usually the ones given the privilege. Anyone can apply and the Emperor's aide is the one who processes the applications and deems who's worthy. 

''I'm nervous'', Dacre comments as they enter the carriage. ''It will be the first Festival I'll be on the stage, not in the crowd''. 

''I never attended the Festival'', Fleuri comments calmly even if he's also anxious. Fleuri's duty as Nikias' aide in the opening ceremony is to make sure the Second Prince not only arrives in time and is able to proceed with the event, but also that everything goes smoothly. It's a test of sorts he has given himself, even if Nikias doesn't care much for the ceremony, it is the biggest event for anyone born and raised in the Empire, and how effectively he does his duty here will determine if he's truly good enough to be a King Consort's aide in the future.

''Let's just go home as soon as the ceremony ends'', Nikias comments, shaking his legs as he watches Fleuri messing with the carriage's direction board to make it go faster. ''I wish to write to Lyor''.

Fleuri stops for a second before continuing, he is slightly frustrated that Nikias is more worried about writing a letter to his lover than the biggest event in the Empire, but it's nothing he isn't used to, after all it's impossible to know the train of thoughts of the Second Prince. 

They stay silent until they arrive at the spot, near the Capital's square at the margins of the Aura River that crosses it, the crowd is already filling the streets. At the center of the crowd is the stage where the Emperor, Empress and Crown Prince and Princess already are, 2 minutes left for the ceremony to officially start.

Even if they tried, it is impossible for them to not be noticed. The moment Nikias steps outside of the carriage he feels it, the true meaning of being the Second Prince. Not the nasty stares of nobility, or the distrust of the Palace workers, but the pure pressure and wonder of the people of the Empire that look at him as if he's their guiding star.

His silver hair shines brightly in the night, remembering his lessons he straightens his posture and gazes forward, his eyes not lingering anywhere, his feet moving swiftly and elegantly. Next to him, Dacre does his job seriously even if he's not tall or imponent, he's able to back the people off as they get closer to get a glimpse of the stunning Second Prince. Fleuri on the other side, is struggling to do the same as he tries to make the Prince move quickly to not waste a single second.

As he walks he hears the people talking, from children to the elderly, some speaking of his beauty, others of the rumors surrounding him and others of his lateness. 

''He looks like a fairy'', one of the children near him comments to their father who pulls them off the path. ''Dad, I want to touch the fairy'', the child comments again, trying to escape their parent's grasp. Nikias looks at the child, he can see why the flustered father is attempting to cover his mouth and pull him away. Tattered clothes, old dirt stains and rotten teeth, he can tell they're from the slums, but that isn't what catches his eye, the sharp canines, purple eyes and black nails does.

Saving halflings isn't an altruistic goal of his, it's a consequence for his goal, so he studied a lot of the black market and illegal breeding of species. Not all species can breed with humans, but the ones that can, always produce results that, to a keen eye, distincts them from regular humans. 

And most of them can't be found in the Empire, Nikias searched and even asked Miyuki a lot about the halflings of the Empire, most of them are products of contraband and illegal breeding, with elves, dragons and vampires. Other than that, there aren't many others, even half-dwarves are extremely rare in the Empire while common in other Kingdoms. 

Not in the same sense as half-elves that are rare by themselves, but still strongly attempted, half-devils are also rare. Devils are a newer species, even younger than vampires, their goddess is Sori, goddess of Music & Alcohol, the youngest goddess to be birthed, so much so that besides the devils, there aren't many humans that follow her, she doesn't even have a Temple on Earth yet. 

The devils live in isolation, so seeing one is rare enough to have very few descriptions, yet not only Nikias was seeing such characteristics live, he's seeing a half-devil. The father seems to be human, and his state makes clear that he isn't rich enough to buy a devil to breed with. Seeing halflings in the streets isn't rare, no, and even if they're a rare half-devil, Nikias' aide is a half-elf so nothing should surprise him much.

Yet something in his bones tells him this isn't a coincidence or something he should let it be. He feels Fleuri's touch on his lower back, pushing him forward, yet he still stops. There's only one minute left, and he's near the stage, but he still stops. Crouching near the child, the stench of their lack of bathing and the dirt of the child's hair and clothes doesn't stop him from interacting with them.

''I am flattered you think I look like such a blessed creature'', Nikias' tone is soft and kind, just like when he speaks with Petal, making Fleuri shiver and Dacre suffocate a laugh. ''May the gods bless you as well'', he says, forming small sparkles with his mana, covering the child with it.

The child laughs, their canines are dirty, one even missing, the child doesn't seem much older than 5 years old, but that isn't a very good parameter considering they look also malnourished. 

''Thank you, fairy'', the child says with a bright smile, Nikias smiles back.

''No, thank you''. He gets up, looking directly at the father of the child, who is completely pale. ''I heard the entrance of the Blessed Forest is a nice place for children to play, especially at sunrise'', his words are cold when he directs them at the father, moving before he can even hear an answer, reaching the stage the moment the bells ring announcing the beginning of the ceremony.

The ceremonial clothes of the Exos Imperial family is characteristic, the Emperor and Empress wear a plain white tunic with the ceremonial cape on top, the cape is heavy, long and old, made by a joint work of sixteen artisans each. Embroidered in the cape is the story of the Empire with the sun at the top in the Emperor's one and the moon in the Empress'. The colors are red and white with details in gold and silver, it's much more luxurious than anyone there would ever be able to witness in their lives. It's a priceless treasure that is only worn at the Founding Day's Festival ceremony. At their heads are relics made by the gods at the birth of the Empire and the sacred crowns, on the Empress' hand is also another relic, the staff of the Moon goddess gifted to Nyx for the war. 

On the other hand, Nikias and Alkaios were made to wear the same clothes, per tradition, no children of the Emperor are to be differentiated during the ceremony, a plain white suit with golden adjournments, no makeup and their hair is also not styled. Evangelia, who now belongs to the Imperial family as the fiance of the Crown Prince, is wearing only the plain white tunic and her hair is braided with a strand of gold. 

Since coming to this world, Nikias never felt as if he belonged to this family, even if sometimes he slipped and thought of them as his parents and brother, he always bounced back, reminding himself that if they knew the truth, he would be a traitor, a monster, not their precious son and brother. His only family is Zerah, and that won't change until he starts his own family. But at this moment he allows himself to sink in, to pretend they're his family, that this ceremony matters to him.

Most people would be fooled by the way he stands next to the Empress, like a child seeking his mother's comfort, or even how he looks at his father expectantly as the Emperor starts his speech. Of course, those who are fooled do not know Nikias personally, Dacre is standing at the edge of the stage, his eyes focused on the crowd and his Lord, he can't fuck this job up, and when his eyes hit Nikias that is acting his best, he can't help but wish to laugh again. 

Fleuri, on the other hand, is standing at the bottom of the stage next to Xylon Bosch, that looks half-dead, Bernard Clark, the Emperor's aide that looks twice his actual age and Tove Chastain, that is there as companion of the Crown Princess, from there all he can see is the reaction of the crowd, hoping this will all go smoothly.

Nikias doesn't pay attention in his father's speech, he doesn't wish to, he knows the story already, way better than anyone there, he had read it firsthand in Aelius' diary, where he said how arduous the fight was and how many comrades he lost for the sake of this Empire, and that his only wish for the future generations is to avoid war and prosper within.

Once the Emperor's speech ends, the Empress begins the offering to the gods. She steps forward, taking Emperor Magnus' place at the middle of the stage, raising her hands towards the full moon. ''Hear us, oh Moon goddess that watches over us lowly humans, shine your protection as we continue to serve as your faithful followers. Bring us prosper harvests, joyful occasions, blessed days and protection to anything that may cause us harm. As we offer you our prayer, our strength and our faith.'' Alongside her, many of those in the crowd pray as well, their eyes closed and their hands raised towards the moon. 

Then it's Crown Prince Alkaios turn, he takes his mother's place, kneeling on the stage and placing his hands on his chest, lowering his head and beginning the prayer. ''I beg of you to hear the prayer of your lowly servants, oh Sun god, shine light onto our lives, grant us strength to fight another day, grant us spite to become the best we can be and grant us the blessing to shine through any adversity. Hear us, those who pray to you with empty heart and open mind, ready to serve as you see fit, and grant us the pleasure of being blessed by you for another year to come''. Alkaios voice is soothing, his prayer sounds sincere, moving everyone of the crowd, to those standing there tonight, he looks like an envoy sent by the gods as harald of their blessings. Some of the more religious ones even cry, offering their own prayers.

Alkaios gets up and moves back, giving space for Nikias to move forward, there's rules he must follow. The Empress must always offer prayer to the Moon goddess, the Emperor and Crown Prince must always offer prayer to the Sun god, while the other Princes or Princesses can offer prayer to any of the two gods. However the prayers must always encapsulate the people and be broad in scope, as if they're shepherds leading the sheep's prayer. 

All Nikias hopes is that tonight, the gods do not hear his prayer.

He doesn't kneel like his brother or raise his hands like his mother, he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, before opening them again and reciting the prayer he wrote with Fleuri the day prior. ''To the one that brings us warmth and light during our days, please hear my prayer, Sun god, ruler of the sun, the stars, the heat and fire, as your humble followers we beg.'' He then kneels, doing his best to pray fervently, as if he's truly offering his soul to the god. ''May the cold of winter never harm our people, may cowardice never rule our hearts and may your eyes keep over us for another year''.

Was it enough? He wonders, he thought about using his mana to make a bigger show, but that would be a hassle, and he doesn't want others to know he's a Saint just yet. He gets up, ready to move back so that the Emperor can end with his prayer, but he's unable to.

A blinding light enough to temporarily blind everyone there, well, except for Nikias, who's perfectly able to see the god appearing in front of him. 

He knew gods were real, he never questioned. But seeing him there, well, it was impossible to not think, oh, so gods do really exist. Two meters tall, pristine skin, eyes that look like liquid gold and long hair that looks like thin threads of gold moving swiftly in the wind. Blaze, the Sun god is standing there, wearing the same white tunic most of his paintings portray him using and his expression is one of sovereign and elegance.

His apparent personality is as portrayed in the many songs, books, tales, paintings and sculptures of him. A side Nikias read extensively about, while he also got to know another side of the serious and sovereign god. 

Blaze is a childish god, all he cares about is being entertained and going against his fellow gods, he constantly barges into the Palace, placing bets with Nyx and our children, and sometimes he barges into my office, begging for me to entertain him some more. His arrogance knows no bounds, even if his blessing run through my veins and I am indeed grateful for his gifts, I cannot take another second of his childish behaviour. If you're reading this diary and ever crosses paths with Blaze in person, do not, and I stress, absolutely do not, enter a bet with him. The only other being that can control him is the Moon goddess, but she tends to hate us, his Saints, so I wish you the best of luck if you ever get the misfortune of getting more of his attention than the minimum that it took for him to give you such immeasurable mana.

In Aelius' diary, this passage was quite memorable, he constantly mentioned about how Blaze was coming to the Palace to visit and speak with him, begging him to have more children or suggesting names for them. Sometimes he would talk about how Blaze would fight with the Moon goddess and come to taunt Nyx in her stead. 

It's difficult to imagine such immaturity coming from a god that appears so… Elegant, poised and serious. Once the bright light ceases, the people stare at the god with awe and tearful expressions, as if their god wasn't constantly in pubs across the Empire, drinking beer and watching his people. 

Blaze does not speak, his eyes scan the crowd and then he turns to look at Nikias, the eyes of the Second Prince show clearly how he feels. Don't come here, do not speak to me, do not show interest in me, he chants over and over again inside his mind, the god smiles.

The god walks towards Nikias. No, stop, he thinks to no avail. Blaze bends over the Prince, whispering on his ear, something a god had no need to do, yet he chose to. ''I accept your prayer, child of another world''.

And just like that, the god disappears again with another bright light, leaving behind a shower of golden sparkles that shine across the night sky and warm the people there. Nikias is frozen in place, his head spinning, hoping that this doesn't make his life harder than already is. The Emperor continues with the ceremony, providing his own prayer, but the god doesn't appear again.

''We will now allow the chosen to make their questions'', Nikias snaps back with Bernard Clark's voice, he's standing on the stage and Fleuri is also now by his side. When did he get here? ''The first…''

Nikias doesn't pay attention to the question or answers his family members give, all he can think about is the god and how he just fucked him over. 

The only thing Blaze serves is his own whims.

He remembers another passage from Aelius' diary. Just when he feels Fleuri nudging him from the side.

''...You're allowed now to ask the question you wish to Second Prince Nikias'', the Emperor's aide says.

A child gets on stage, his clothes are clean and he looks like the son of a high-ranking noble, on his chest there are a few merit stars for inventors. This smells like his father bought this for him, he thinks. Different from how he looked at the other child before, his eyes are now cold. 

''Your highness'', the child speaks with difficulty, he trembles from the cold gaze of the Second Prince. The novel skipped all the Festivals, as if it didn't matter, it focused more on Alkaios' birthday and the New Year's party, so I don't know if the nobles used this to humiliate Nikias or if it was a more tamed thing. Would they use a child to spread their schemes, though? No, I wouldn't put anything past them. ''What's your dream?''

He freezes, the question is so childish it takes him aback, was the child really the one that developed the question? He sighs with relief, the tension melting from his shoulders, although he has no idea what to answer such a question with.

Across the 1.7 million km² of the Exos Empire territory, there isn't a single soul that isn't aware of the beauty of the Second Prince, and the same can be said of his nasty personality, so infamous that even recluse farmers know about it. So it's no surprise to those present that the moment the Second Prince opens his mouth in a brilliant smile, most of the crowd blushes or has their heart racing inside their chest.

If this world had a concept of angels, that was going to be what he would be described as, shining so much even in the darkness, a beauty that is able to overshadow his rumored terrible acts. Most people there can't even remember his nasty rumors after such a blinding smile, others even stopped thinking about the other Imperial family members. A floating orb takes a picture of Nikias at that moment, and in a few hours, his gorgeous appearance and heart fluttering smile will be in the front page of every newspaper in the Empire.

''Thank you for the question'', he says, his cold demeanor nowhere to be seen now that he feels at ease. He thinks hard of what to answer, what would be controversial enough to make him a hot topic, political enough for people to take him serious and radical enough that he wouldn't be considered as his brother's opponent even if he becomes well-seen for this. ''My dream is to unify all species and end the legal slavery of halflings''.

His words are reckless, and he doesn't really mean any of it. Sure, he thinks it's stupid to see halflings as less than humans, and he also strongly hates slavery. However, not to the point where it is his dream.

What is his real dream? Survive, live in a warm house, never starve and form a family his deceased brother would be proud of. Ruling people? Saving marginalized species? Why would he bother with that if it wasn't all part of his goal of survival and to live a decent life of privileges?

And with his answer, the ceremony finally ends, and the Festival begins. 

❥

Golden rays of sun paint the Palace as the sun sets, rapid steps resonate across the empty hallways, during the Festival days, most of the workers get days off, in comparison, the Knights work more, Nikias walks with determination and the purest distress. Behind him, Dacre runs, trying to catch up with the Second Prince that left suddenly.

''Nikki, wait up!'' Dacre yells, to no avail.

With a loud bang, Nikias slams open the door of the Crown Princess' drawing room, where Evangelia is sitting next to Tove, who is consoling the woman. 

Usually, Nikias doesn't act on impulse, or even gets surprised by the actions of Evangelia, after all, he knows her better than she even knows herself. But for the first time, a change in the novel happened through the main character, not insignificant background characters.

''What the fuck you were thinking?'' He asks, his tone is rude, his eyes cold, and behind him, Dacre finally reaches him, catching up his breath. ''This stupid decision of yours will make them go into hiding again!'' He says, walking towards the woman, Dacre closes the door of the room, wary of the prying ears of the patrolling Knights around there.

''Can you tone it down? She's already distressed enough!'' Tove says, getting up, confronting the Second Prince.

''Tone it down? Dame Tove, who are you to speak to me like that?'' Nikias says, anger leaking from his tone, his eyes shining with such raw emotion.

The woman blinks slowly, taken aback, she knows she should apologize, yet she's unable to back down. 

''It's fine Tove, he's right'', Evangelia says, cleaning her tears with the back of her hand. In 'Odd Eyes', the protagonist only cried when Alkaios died, or at least that was how it was told, yet here she is, spending her tears so easily. Perhaps sharing the protagonist's weakness' moments would be seen as humiliating, or even so, perhaps Evangelia herself, hides these moments with shame. ''You still shouldn't barge in like this, your highness''.

''Angie-'' Tove tries to speak but is silenced by Evangelia.

''Tove, I appreciate it, but there's no need to protect me'', her tone is soft, and she both sounds and looks tired. ''May I know why you're so angry? Your highness, the investigation of the cult is in my hands, even if we shared responsibility with the mana stones smuggling case, doesn't give you the right to interfere with my other investigations''.

Nikias stares at the woman, her black silky hair is a mess, her eyes are dark with exhaustion and even her skin seems to be dry and peeling, a clear showcase of how stressed she seems to be. It isn't easy to be Crown Princess, always the need to prove herself, to prove she's not only worthy of marrying an exceptional person like Alkaios, but also to take over the crown of the second most affluent Empire in the world. 

He can almost sympathise with her, as future King Consort, sometimes he wonders if he's up for the job of administrating a whole Empire. However, he cannot possibly know if he'll do a good job, before starting it, before trying. 

And he can't even compare the Morke Kingdom to the Exos Empire, in money, politics and territory.

''Your actions do not bring consequences only for yourself'', he says, they look each other in the eyes, as if they're battling a silent battle in their stares, both too stubborn to look away. ''You know what's in stake here, Miss Petit, I live in this world as well, how can I stay still watching you reducing our chances of saving it?!'' His words are sensible and he attempts to look as altruistic as he possibly can, recently he learned he's a better actor than he ever gave himself credit for. 

She pauses, probably trying to understand Nikias' words properly. 

''How did you know?'' She asks, ambiguously enough to force his words, yet reveal nothing.

Nikias isn't that easy to trap, though. ''You're not the only one investigating what happened at the beginning of the month'', he says, instead of revealing what he truly knows. ''One of my Knights was there and was a witness''.

His words surprise her. ''Why didn't you come forward with such information?''

''Didn't you just say I have no business with this investigation?'' He scoffs.

We definitely don't mix well, Evangelia thinks, frustrated by this dance of words as they avoid telling each other the whole picture. He's hiding something, she thinks, unaware the other knows what she's hiding herself. 

''Which Knight?'' She asks.

''That's confidential'', he replies, crossing his arms.

''For the goddess' sake, stop being so petty!'' She finally yells, frustrated, angry and upset, not with Nikias, but herself, the feeling of helplessness filling her whole being.

''Petty? Me? Miss Petit, you're unaware of your own hypocrisy'', he says calmly, the two Knights stare at them, worried, yet unable to interrupt the conversation between two stubborn giants. 

''Prince Nikias, you're unbearable, you act as if just because you lost your memories, you suddenly became a prime example of a noble, infiltrating investigations, attempting to steal other's achievements, aren't you ashamed of trying to deceive others with this third-rate acting?'' Evangelia says, almost pulling her hair out of frustration. 

''I do not act as nothing, and at least even when I don't manage to produce results, I still get answers, oh, that reminds me, how's your witness?'' He asks with a smirk as if he wasn't the one freaking out about the witness that went missing just 16 hours ago. 

''Don't ask such stupid question when both of us know you ordered one of your Knights to take her to the Kingdom!'' She yells again, she feels as if she's speaking to a wall. Well, the feeling is certainly mutual.

''We would move so much better if we worked together'', Nikias says with a sigh, ignoring the woman's comment, not that she was wrong. Considering 2 hours ago Miyuki and Scarlet escorted the halfling child to the Morke Kingdom after they found her hours from the Capital being tortured by Knights who simply acted out of greed and anger towards halflings.

''Together? You and I?'' Evangelia laughs, she looks crazy, she feels crazy. She cannot confide in anyone, she cannot tell them, all that Nikias did, selling her to slave traders that attempted to sexually assault her, or drugging her to make her do mistakes during her marriage ceremony, selling off her dresses so that she wouldn't have what to wear at an important party, spreading rumors that she cheated on Alkaios, even forging witnesses that said they saw her dealing with human slave traders. The dirtiest of the bunch, Second Prince Nikias was the scum of the earth, and she has absolutely no proof. Because it all happened in the previous time loops she experienced. Now he's playing a good guy facade, how can she say he's scheming when by now he hasn't done anything worth chastising him for? And even more, she catches herself invalidating her own experiences, her own traumas as she questions if Nikias did do those things to her, or if she just got it all wrong.

And if she did, did she attempt to murder someone innocent? The more she starts to question herself, the more the original timeline of the novel falls apart, which Nikias will soon start to realize.

''We don't work well together'', she finishes her sentence after thinking for a moment. 

Nikias pushes his hair back, he's also frustrated, the more things start to fall apart from his plans, the more he cannot predict what will happen next. And that scares the hell out of him.

''There's no doubt about that, however, if we don't, we'll both fail our own goals''.

''And what are those exactly?'' She asks, making the man pause.

''I don't think that's necessary to know'', he says, frowning.

''And that's why we don't work well together, Prince Nikias, to work together we must trust each other, and we don't. You withheld information from me during the past operation, and I did the same, how can we reach a satisfactory conclusion when we both don't have the full picture?'' She's right, of course she is, and at the same time so is he. And that makes everything even more complicated. How can one pin the blame on the other refusing to cooperate, when they're both equally to blame for the exact same thing.

We're too similar, Nikias thinks, that's why she was a protagonist I liked following in fiction, yet hate having to deal with in real life. 

''Take some time to think'', Nikias is the one to give up this time, he's exhausted, and aware of his own stubbornness ruining his chances of fixing the future he wishes to carve. ''You'll realize soon that although we hate each other, we need each other''.

He doesn't wait for her answer, there's no use, he already knows what she'll say, and that won't take them anywhere.

''Why do you need the Crown Princess help so much?'' Dacre asks once they're in the hallway again.

''Because if this world had a protagonist'', which it has, ''She would be it'', which she is.

Dacre stops walking, pondering for a second before speaking: ''I disagree Nikki, compared to her, you move people's fate way more'', Nikias ponders over Dacre's words, he doesn't agree with his take, after all he knows for sure that Evangelia is the protagonist of this world. Yet he can't refute him right away, as he is deeply aware of the way he changed all of his Knight's futures way too drastically to ignore. 

''Perhaps I am the antagonist of her story'', Nikias says at last, making Dacre laugh.

''That's probably how she sees it, I guess'', Dacre says with a smile. ''But to those on your side, you're the one shining the most''.

❥

While everyone partied during the days following the first day of the Festival, all Nikias did was work on the last details of the opening of his store at the heart of the Capital, most of the on site work was made by Fleuri, while he worked from his office. The mountain of documents only got bigger as his assets also increased with the death of Duke Sawdon. 

At a blink of an eye, the last day of the year arrived. The last day of the Festival and also a religious event of the Exos Empire, not only signaling the end of the year, but also the communion between the Sun god and the Moon goddess, being the only day of the year that has 12 hours of sunlight and 12 hours of moonlight. Most nobles spend part of the day at the Temple, offering their prayers, and after what happened at the opening ceremony of the Festival, it was to be expected that Prince Nikias received a diverse amount of invitations from Temples across the Empire.

''This never happened before'', Lowe states as he sees the pile of letters on Fleuri's desk, the man himself absent as he's speaking with suppliers for the store. ''They used to say you were a heretic of a Prince, ha'', Lowe scoffs as he sees the letter from the Lead Priest of the Capital's Temple of the Sun god. ''Those disgusting pests'', his words carry more hatred than he wishes to portray.

''You have history with them?'' Nikias asks as he signs the employees contracts of the store.

''Some of them were involved with the Tower'', Lowe comments only, not delving into the details, and Nikias doesn't ask further. ''Although it wasn't due to this…'' he pointed to the pile of letters, ''That you summoned me''.

Nikias raises his head. ''Correct, I would like to ask about your training, how is it going?''

''Perfectly well'', Lowe says, sitting down. ''We'll soon begin the preparations for the Crown Prince's wedding, Madam Hannah said it'll be good training for when I have to work on your wedding''.

''She's right''. Nikias pauses, thinking. ''Alkaios' wedding is in six months and a month afterwards it'll be my engagement'', he stops again, his brain working on the logistics. ''I believe you should start exchanging information with Keres soon.''

''What do you mean, your highness?''

''You'll be the one taking care of my engagement party, naturally''.

Lowe freezes, it's hard to describe in words what he's feeling at the moment. Part of him was still stuck in the past, where nothing worked out for him, where he had to struggle to survive or had needles prickling his skin just to be allowed food and water. Hearing those words coming from the Prince, it makes it all feel… real.

''Is it a test?'' He can't avoid asking.

''I think we're past tests, Lowe. This is your job, work your ass off for your salary and benefits. You're not trying to get hired, you're trying to stay on the job'', Nikias says with an amused smile. He knows that if he said he trusts Lowe, the man would do his work with more motivation, but he cannot bring himself to say it. ''We're almost there Lowe, see where we started and where we've gotten'', he takes a deep breath, clicking his pen. ''Priests are humiliating themselves for my presence, your salary tripled in mere months, not only will I become King Consort, a place most wouldn't see me in, but you will become my official butler, a position even nobles covet.''

''Yes, and it'll be my pleasure, your highness'', Lowe kneels, bowing to the Prince, just like he did the night they made the mana pact. ''I will do my best so that your engagement and wedding will be events that will go down in history''.

His words make Nikias laugh, deep inside, Lowe feels proud of him, of the Prince that used to stare at his window for hours with a blank expression that is now able to laugh, be angry and live properly. Too bad he'll never know that the Prince of his past and the one in front of him aren't the same.

''I plan on officializing your place as my butler a few days before Alkaios' wedding, so absorb as much as you can in the next months with Madam Hannah.''

Lowe nods, his heart beating with excitement. From a child that locked his heart too soon, to now as an adult, uncovering emotions one by one, his wheel of emotions grow day by day, be it the negative ones or positive. Learning to be proud, to be at peace and now, to feeling hopeful towards his future.

''Oh'', Nikias says, startled by his own sudden thought. ''I guess I skipped an event'', he hits the pen on the desk, rhythmically. ''There's my birthday party to think of, in four months''.

To think it's been almost a year… Am I becoming too used to being Nikias? Will I forget who I was? Will it come to a point where the name Vahe will become unfamiliar to me? Hasn't it already?

''Would you like for me to plan it?'' Lowe asks, nodding.

''I think it would be good practice to do it alongside Madam Hannah, however because it's so close to Alkaios' wedding…''

''It might be difficult''.

''Yes. I am not a priority after all'', his words sound harsh, and perhaps his parents could disagree, yet their actions would speak otherwise. The wedding of the future Emperor is a huge event, and it might even consume Nikias' birthday whole. ''I could skip the party''.

''That would be seen negatively by those watching you'', Lowe shakes his head. ''It might look weak for a future King Consort to back down to his brother, after all, once you marry he won't outrank you''.

''An Emperor and a King are quite different'', Nikias points out.

Lowe stares at the Prince for a moment before speaking: ''Isn't King Lyor planning to turn the Kingdom into an Empire?''

His question makes Nikias laugh again. ''Indeed, I guess you and Fleuri are certainly in pair to what I expect from my right and left hands'', a feeling of joy fills Nikias' chest, joy of knowing he was right, that those he chose to serve him closely had the qualifications he always expected them to have.

''It doesn't take much brain to figure that out, your highness. I'm sure the other Empires and Kingdoms are wary of him'', Lowe points out. ''The only reason your father is quiet is due to your engagement to the King. But I do expect the Hai Empire to make a move soon''.

''Fleuri said the same'', Nikias sighs. ''They won't do anything, though''.

''Why?''

Nikias points his pen at Lowe. ''Because Lyor is stronger than them''. He gets up from his chair, stretching. ''If he wanted to, he could take down their army singlehanded. The only reason he struggles in battles is due to his refusal of killing his enemies''. He leans against the window's frame. ''Lyor only kills when he doesn't see another option, he rather get hurt than hurt others, which is ironic for someone waging war all the time''.

''Are you scared he'll get hurt?'' Lowe asks a personal question for the first time, he usually avoids such, letting his brother do the most of them, while he never questions or dares wonder of his Lord. But something in Nikias' eyes makes him ask, perhaps because he can sympathise to an extent. 

The Prince pauses, pondering, he isn't sure if scared is the right word. Being scared of someone else's pain and death, when it was the last time he felt such emotions? Flashes of the memory of his brother's death cross his brain making his heart clench. The feeling isn't quite it, the fear he felt watching Zerah die in front of his eyes can't even compare to what he's feeling. Perhaps knowing Lyor is strong and won't die easily helps him cope, the rational part of his brain is mitigating the pain and the fear. ''I don't think that's it. I'm just… worried'', yes, that's the word. He's merely worried, he doesn't wish to see the man in pain, yet he won't interrupt his conquests or tell him to give up, because in the end, his path will bring Nikias' closer to his goal.

Although he's worried, he's not worried enough to sacrifice his own selfish reasons for Lyor's safety.

Not yet.

''We're still humans, after all, don't worry, your highness, his majesty is strong as you pointed out, in the end he'll emerge victorious, regardless of the pains he might face'', Lowe says, as if he's saying such words to himself.

''Take the day off'', Nikias says, changing the subject. ''Celebrate the change of the year with your brother and with Lord Rainier.''

''What about you? Your highness?''

Nikias smiles, his eyes are darker, his chest filled with a turmoil of emotions. ''Tell others I've isolated myself to pray, I want to spend a bit of time alone with my thoughts before the dinner with my family''.

''As you wish'', Lowe bows again, leaving the room.

❥

The doors of the dining room of the Palace opens slowly as Prince Nikias enters, as he walks in he pulls the collar of his shirt, feeling suffocated. It's been months since he was directly served, and he probably should have hired a maid, however he can't help but feel uncomfortable with the idea of having someone dress him up or even assist him with other day-to-day activities. And after Lowe started training directly under Madam Hannah, the other maids stopped ignoring his summons for tea or food. 

''Are your clothes uncomfortable, brother?'' Alkaios asks once Nikias takes a seat next to his mother as usual. He doesn't reply to his brother, his mood isn't the best that night. 

His bad mood isn't due to the uncomfortable clothes he had to use - due to his lack of easy to dress winter clothes -, neither the fact that he has to spend his New Year's night with his fake parents, brother and sister-in-law, or even how he has yet to come up with a new plan to stop the Time Cult. In truth, he isn't even sure why his mood is so sour.

Emperor Magnus cleans his throat, feeling the tension in the air between the youngests, his expression is soft and he looks calmer than how Nikias' saw him at their last meal together three months ago. ''So, tell me Alkaios, how are the weeding plans going?'' He asks, changing the subject, he seems to be attempting to clear the air and bond with his son. Evangelia's eyes twitch, she's clearly uncomfortable being there, her hatred for the parents of her beloved is palpable, yet it goes unnoticed by anyone but Nikias.

Well, it helps that he's already aware of her true emotions.

''It's going well, Xylon is taking care of most things, and mother's butler is also being of great help'', Alkaios answers, swirling the glass of wine he's holding yet hasn't drank a single drop yet.

Nikias stares at his own cup, he wants to gulp it all down and ask for more, eventually reaching the point of no return. The taste of alcohol isn't even good, yet in situations like this, he can't avoid it but craves it.

In the streets all I drank was firewater and stale beer, he thinks, touching the rim of the cup, not paying attention to the boring conversation Alkaios is having with his parents about the wedding, he couldn't care less, all he wants is for him to get married soon so that he can get engaged with Lyor. Now that I'm a Prince I only drink champagne and high-quality wine.

''...Nikias'', he's startled once he hears his name being said by the Empress, raising his gaze from the glass towards the woman. Her unnecessary kind pink eyes make him feel uncomfortably guilty, everyone is looking at him, waiting for something.

''My apologies mother, I didn't hear your question'', the words taste like saltwater on his tongue, everything feels like slow motion, his heart racing and his head spins. Perhaps he should've just drank the wine after all. 

''We asked if you've already set an engagement date, Nikias'', Magnus says, staring at his son with a pathetic expression, sadness clear in his gaze, a gaze that shows a weakness he only allows himself to due to the lack of servants in the room. 

I feel sick. ''Yes, it'll be at the exact half of the year'', he says, his legs trembling with nervousness, but his eyes don't waver. 

''If you need any help…'' Empress Else starts to speak, but Nikias interrupts her.

''I'll be fine, since it's so close to Alkaios' wedding, you don't need to concern yourself with it'', his words sound harsher than he wishes to be, in reality if the Empress got involved everything would become just unbearably uncomfortable, but his words came out as if he was throwing a fit about being less important than his brother.

''Of course your engagement is just as important'', Else says hesitantly. 

''That's not…'', he attempts to say but gives up mid-way, just sighing instead. ''I appreciate the offer, mother'', the word 'mother' makes him want to throw up. ''But since there's a lot at stake with my engagement… Politically-wise, I believe the less you and father intervene, the better''.

''Nikias, we're still your parents, regardless of our positions'', Magnus says, clearly offended. ''Or is that King persuading you to disregard us…''

The Prince loosens more the buttons of his shirt and takes off the tight coat that was clearly made for the previous Nikias and his incredibly skinny body, now that he has a few more muscles, everything feels tighter, the more he moves inside his body the more uncomfortable he feels. ''Lyor isn't like that''.

''Oh really? Then he would marry you regardless of your dowry?'' Alkaios speaks, hostility clear in his voice.

Is it hot in here? Nikias thinks, questioning himself as he starts to sweat. Although the Prince is acting weird and taking off his coat, no one seems to truly notice his discomfort, the unusual sweat in his forehead or even how short and fast his breathing is. 

''In fact, he refused a dowry'', Nikias says, grabbing the glass of wine and drinking it all in one go, giving in to the impulse. The liquid is warm, not helping his situation, and the alcohol only makes his cheeks flush and his head feel fuzzier. ''And any money I offer him, in fact''.

''He's faking it'', Alkaios states.

Nikias scoffs, serving himself another glass of wine, when will they come with the food? I want to leave already. ''I don't think he's the one faking anything'', he comments, his gaze laying on the Crown Princess, that is just as uncomfortable as him in this situation.

''He's using you'', Alkaios insists, ignoring the backhand comment Nikias made.

Another glass down his throat, his mother stops him from pouring another one. ''That's enough Nikias, don't lose your head'', her words are calm, but her grip on his hand is strong. 

He puts down the bottle. ''Lyor is a good leader and an amazing lover, I couldn't ask for someone better. And I'm tired of these conversations'', his body is boiling, and he feels dizzy, the alcohol only made everything worse. ''You're all hypocrites'', he says, annoyed. ''Parents that didn't even care about me for years while I was being physically and mentally abused, a brother that turned a blind eye at those berating me and a new family addition that rather I was dead than her brother-in-law''.

''That's enough, you're drunk Nikias'', Magnus says, his hands shaking.

''An Emperor shouldn't show weakness'', Nikias says, his eyes are cold, and after the wave of heat, now he feels incredibly cold. Was I poisoned? When? He can feel his body fighting against something. ''What would you do if your children were planning a coup?'' He continues to speak, the filter in his words completely gone. Or perhaps I am simply drunk. With two glasses of wine? What a joke, he drank six bottles with Dacre and they were still standing just a few days ago. 

I guess I do have alcoholic tendencies. Was I gaslighting myself before?

''Shouldn't you keep ignoring us like before?''

''I never ignored you'', the Emperor says, but his eyes show that he knows he's lying. 

''Oh sure'', Nikias laughs, grabbing the bottle of wine again, chugging directly from the bottle, and his mother takes the bottle away from him. He's shivering now, the temperature of his body dropping significantly. 

''What do you mean abused?'' Alkaios speaks, his eyes are a deep tone of purple, he's clearly trying to use his powers on Nikias.

''Alkaios, that's rude'', Nikias says, making his brother startled and ashamed from being caught trying to hypnotize his younger brother. ''What do I mean? Well, let's just say that attending your birthday with whip marks all over my legs definitely wasn't easy. Oh! Or when the maids buried the gift grandfather gave me before passing away and I spent the whole night digging the gardens just to be lectured for being a bad bad boy''.

Those aren't his memories, and even if recalling things from the original Nikias' past was uncomfortable and sickening, he couldn't avoid but bring them up. Even if all he knows are bits and pieces, even if he can't see the whole picture, he can't help but do all in his power to hurt those that hurt him by looking at him with loving eyes that are directed at a dead boy.

''But no, it's way better to marry me off to an insignificant Kingdom, locking me up with some naive, low-ranked Princess, this way I'm easier to control, no?'' He continues to speak, he wants to hurt them deeply, he wants to finally be free from this family, at least emotionally. He doesn't need familial bonds that do not belong to him, even if he still needs their influence, these petty conversations of those who only pretend to care, sickens him. 

''That's not what we mean! We worry about you!'' Empress Else is the one to say, her eyes shining with tears. ''We don't want you an ocean away because we love you!''

We love you. Those words make Nikias throw up, he is unsure if it is due to the intense emotions, the supposed poison or just the amount of alcohol he just consumed with an empty stomach. 

''Nikki!'' The Empress reaches for him, to assist the boy, but he slaps her hand away.

''Don't touch me'', he says, his body burning again, his mana starts to leak, the room becoming just as warm as him and golden sparkles floating near him. 

Alkaios rings the servant's bell. ''Call for the physician'', he says but Nikias shakes his head.

''No, I don't need it'', his words are weak, but he raises his head, staring at the startled servant. ''Call for Lowe instead''.

''Your servant? What could he possibly-'' Alkaios argues abruptly getting up from his chair.

''Much more than you ever did'', Nikias answers, tired.

He pauses, thinking of an answer before sighing and nodding at the servant to do as Nikias told. Alkaios sits back down, resting his hand on Evangelia's as to calm himself up. 

The silence is unbearable until Lowe arrives, all Nikias does is rest his head on the table, his eyes closed and his ears ringing. The servant enters the dining room with his briefcase that Nikias recognizes as the man's portable potion's lab, an improvised thing he carries since his mercenary days. 

Lowe's hair is a mess, and he's wearing glasses that are clearly not his, his clothes are also too big for him. 

''I greet the sun, moon and stars of the Empire'', he bows gracefully as he enters, he doesn't wait much to walk to where Nikias is, crouching next to the Prince. ''What happened, your highness?''

''I feel cold, then hot, my head is fuzzy, my throat is dry and I threw up after feeling an intense surge of emotions'', Nikias coldly describes his symptoms.

''He drank a whole bottle of wine'', Evangelia comments, her words are soft as if she's worried, but Nikias can tell by her gaze that she's mocking him.

''Just one bottle?'' Lowe asks, getting up. ''Can I see the bottle?'' The Empress nods, giving the bottle to the servant.

As Lowe analyzes the bottle, Emperor Magnus speaks: ''Are you the boy that is dating Sir Rainier?'' 

The servant flinches, but simply nods, focusing on the task at hand.

''What exactly are your qualifications to act like this?'' Alkaios is the one to ask, probably because regardless of how many background checks he did on the twins, he never truly found out about their origins past the mercenary corps.

''Alkaios, are you aware that Lowe is to be my butler and I am to be King Consort?'' Nikias raises his head, his face completely pale. ''His qualifications are not yours to check''.

''Still, he's suspicious''.

''I verified his identity myself''.

''His past is-''

Nikias interrupts him again: ''I know his full past, Alkaios, just because your Knights cannot do a basic background check, doesn't mean I can't. Or perhaps is your Knight Captain hiding things from you when it comes to his lover?'' His words make Lowe blush and Alkaios groans with frustration.

After a few moments, Lowe puts the bottle on the table, silently getting near the Prince and whispering in his ear. ''Your highness, there's nothing wrong with the wine, you're not drunk nor you're poisoned''.

''Then what?'' Nikias asks, feeling his head pound.

''It is merely a suggestion based on what Miss Scarlet and Sir Jiwon mentioned to me, but I believe the close contact with the Sun god might've messed with your mana, you're going through mana poisoning''.

''I see'', Nikias sighs. ''Makes sense'', he nods, turning to look at his fake family. ''I will retire to my quarters, I believe I'll need a week of rest. Since I'll be departing to the Morke Kingdom tomorrow, I'll rest there''.

''Nikki, if you're feeling indisposed, you should stay and rest, have the physician check on you as well'', the Empress says, clearly concerned with the diagnosis of the servant, especially since she isn't even aware of what it is.

''Actually going to the Morke Kingdom might help'', Lowe says, he doesn't need to explain, the fact that Nikias' mana gets suppressed there might help him with recovering from the mana poisoning.

''I don't understand why can't you just say it properly what my brother has!''

''Mana poisoning, that's what I have, brother'', Nikias says, his mother is startled but the gaze in her eyes shows she's understood the situation.

''In that case, the servant is correct, going to Morke will assist your recovery, very well, although I still think you should rest more''.

''Don't worry, I doubt Lyor will let me do much once he hears I'm ill'', Nikias says with a soft laugh, his mood softening although the pain intensifies.

''That's bullshit-'' Alkaios attempts to argue again, however this time his mother is the one to shut him down.

''Enough Alkaios, haven't you said enough? Haven't we heard enough? Let your brother rest and let's resume this… conversation in a future time.''

Hopefully never, Nikias thinks, getting up, he stumbles around a bit, but Lowe grabs his arm, giving him support.

''Happy new year, mother, father, brother and… Miss Petit'', he says before turning his back at them and leaving the dining room before even being able to eat. ''Lowe, I'm starving'', he comments once they're near his room.

''I'll bring you some light soup''.

''No, I want to eat peaches'', Nikias says with a weak smile.

''Your highness…'' Lowe frowns.

''I know Lowe, don't worry, I don't feel sad anymore because of them, I'll have my own family soon'', he says, as the servant opens the door to his room. ''I just hope they'll leave me alone''.

''Yes, let's hope so'', Lowe doesn't say anything else, he only leaves and later on comes back with a fruit platter, but when he enters Nikias' room, the man is already fast asleep.

❥

''Who's alive always shows up, huh?'' Scarlet's words are sluggish, her face is flushed and she's wearing only a tank top and shorts, clearly hot due to the amount of alcohol she already had consumed. Her comment is directed at Dacre, who arrives at the venue a few minutes before midnight.

As a way to connect, Irene and Scarlet planned a celebration of the Golden Phoenices for the New Year's at a local pub. They rented a private room so that they could speak freely and drink even more freely. 

''Yeah'', Dacre says, sitting next to Jiwon, who's staring at him with a foolish smile. The 19 year-old is uncomfortable being there, he very much wished to spend this night speaking and drinking with Nikias, he feels comfortable with the Prince, their talks are smooth and after months, Dacre finds himself wanting to be there way more than here, with others that, by most eyes, are more in his level.

His relationship with the Prince is unusual, they sure have a great imbalance of power, however Dacre doesn't feel like he could be fired for personal matters, the Prince Nikias he met in the past months, isn't someone that would let his personal feelings affect his plans. Or perhaps he's simply hiding that part of himself.

What's more important is that they've become really close friends, even if Nikias keeps saying he doesn't fully trust Dacre, he surely trusts him more than the others, with the perhaps exception of King Lyor. At least he considers Dacre friend enough to talk about his doubts over his own feelings towards the King. 

Funny enough, Nikias worries are quite similar to Dacre's. 

Am I in love? What does love feel like? At what moment do you realize you're in love? What's the difference between simple affection and attraction to full blown love?

At the time Dacre told Nikias he also didn't know, and that was the truth. 

Dacre's relationship with Jiwon has been progressing slowly due to the boy's hesitation, they kiss, sleep in the same bed and do other intimate things, just never quite having sex. Dacre also never gave Jiwon a blowjob, even if it's something he has done many times before. His hesitation and fear not only goes against his whole personality, but also doesn't fit his own thoughts. Just have sex with him and he'll go away, he'll forget you in no time. Yet he can't, as if something is simply holding him still.

''Why is he here?'' Dacre grabs a cup of beer that was brought by the waiter and points towards Rainier, who clearly doesn't fit in there. 

''We invited Lowe, and he came attached'', Scarlet answers, making an annoyed expression. ''Then Lowe left because the Prince called him and he stayed''.

''He'll come back soon'', Rainier answers, taking a sip of his glass of whiskey.

''Let's play a drinking game'', Irene is the one to speak now, hitting her empty glass on the table. ''We're supposed to be having fun''.

''Weeeeeeell he's definitely out'', Scarlet points to the end of the table where Raphael is laying, his head against the table, appearing passed out. ''He drank so fast and then fell asleep, I swear to the goddess these damned lightweights''. After saying that she gulps down the rest of her beer, ringing the waiter bell asking for another.

''You're clearly hammered too'', Dacre comments, feeling Jiwon's hand resting on his thigh under the table, his eyes twitch but he doesn't move. He wants to tell him to take it off, they're not alone and the others barely know about their relationship, yet he doesn't. Getting Jiwon's attention wouldn't go unnoticed in this small room.

Although everyone was recruited by Prince Nikias and are all following his orders, that doesn't mean they're all close to each other. Dacre, especially, is close to everyone but Irene and Miyuki, since the two constantly stay coped up in the laboratory. The other Knights see Dacre as the child of the group, ruffling his hair all the time, making jokes about his lack of experience and even helping him when he's having difficulties with his training. However, that's all due to Dacre's exceptional social skills. 

Between the others, well, it's a mess. Miyuki is only close to Irene, in fact, he doesn't even speak unless spoken to. Scarlet acts tough, pretending she's above them for having trained with a sword as a child, or for being Teacher Clara's favorite student, she acts narcissistic when in actuality she's the most insecure there, desperate to find her place since things inside her house are complicated, her father even considering disowning her due to her ruining her family's image. She's close to Irene the most, but also has a good relationship with Gutierre, Dacre and Raphael, with Jiwon she rarely speaks to him unless it's necessary. 

Irene, well, she's as social as Dacre, but only because due to her position she's always relaying the Prince's orders or testing her prototypes on the other Knights, but Dacre has the feeling she's not truly close to anyone, she's the one with the most boundaries there. Gutierre on the other hand, only appears like a grunt old man, he's actually quite kind and caring, especially towards Dacre, giving him even unsolicited advices, perhaps he sees Dacre like a child he has from work, using sometimes even the same tactics as he does in his actual children. Due to Gutierre's goal in being a Knight being mostly reconnecting with his family, he's the more serious one, now that he's soon to take charge in Nikias' store, although he protested at first, now he's constantly seen reading books on how to run a business and taking economics classes with Clara's husband, Sascha Gagne.

And Raphael? Well, he's trying. He's a good leader in a sense of taking care of his subordinates and making sure they're always fit and in proper health, but when it comes to strategies and commanding them, he tends to hesitate too much, his insecurities are more palpable than Scarlet's. The fear of the position he's in might soon eat him alive.

Of course, Jiwon as an outsider is quite detached to everyone, the only person he's actually close to is Dacre and perhaps a bit Raphael, he doesn't even have a good relationship with the Prince.

He seemed quite close to his other colleagues in Morke, so I guess we're the problem here, Dacre thinks, a bit disgruntled. 

''Let's play what? Spin the bottle? What are we? 10?'' Scarlet says once her new beer arrives and she sees Irene cleaning an empty whiskey bottle.

''There's a game back in my hometown called Truth Bullet'', Irene says, pushing away the empty glasses and food platters from the middle of the table and placing an empty bottle in the middle of it. She proceeds to place a bit of her mana inside the bottle, making a small teal colored thunderstorm appear inside of it. ''We spin the bottle, and whoever spun it asks a question to who the bottle points at. If the person lies, a weakened mana bullet will shoot at them''.

''Isn't that dangerous?'' Jiwon asks, raising his eyebrow.

''C'mon, we're Knights, that's the least we should be able to endure'', Irene says with a shrug, not truly answering his question. ''Back home, no one died''.

''That suggests someone did die, just elsewhere'', Jiwon points out.

Irene shrugs again.

''Sounds fun, it'll be a nice icebreaker'' Scarlet says, excited, pushing her hair back. ''Everyone should participate, this way we'll also be able to get to know each other more, it's a good exercise''.

''Exactly, like a good Captain, I say we should do it'', Irene says with a mysterious smile.

''I'm not a part of this'', Rainier says, his face showing clear disgust as he fills his cup again, Dacre can see his bottle is the most expensive one there, and the half-filled glass next to his suggests he was drinking it with Lowe and no one else. Stingy, Dacre thinks, considering asking for a sip just to see how nobles drink.

Scarlet is a noble too, but she's drinking cheap beer, Dacre looks at the woman with curiosity, perhaps she wants to feel like part of the poor group, that's why she acts as if her parents don't have more money Dacre would ever be able to see in his whole life.

''No no no, if you don't take part in it, how will we get to know our precious Lowe's boyfriend?'' Scarlet words are dragged, she'll soon stop even making sense. She never even spoke to Lowe, Dacre thinks. Lowe is too far from the others, in Dacre's eye, Lowe is in the same position as Fleuri, close to the Prince and higher in hierarchy to the Knights, yet too detached from them. 

''Your precious?'' Rainier asks, raising an eyebrow and slowly taking a sip of his drink, his eyes fixated in Scarlet with pure curiosity. ''I doubt so''.

''Jealous?'' She provokes.

Rainier laughs softly, ''Hardly''.

''Let's just play'', Irene cuts their conversation, ''I'll spin first''. She proceeds to spin the bottle, Dacre doesn't pay attention to who it stops at, he looks down to where Jiwon's hand is, resting on his thigh, his eyes linger there for a moment, tracing the pulsing veins of his thin fingers, there's calluses and scars in the pale skin, funny how no matter how much sun Jiwon is exposed to, he fails to become tanned like the others. Not that Dacre can judge considering he's paler than him, all he manages to become under the sun is red like a chili pepper.

''...you spin now, Gutierre'', Irene says, excited, her platinum curls falling on the table as she leans to watch the bottle closely.

This time, the bottle stops at Jiwon, so Dacre pays attention to the question being made as he sips down the rest of his already lukewarm beer. Jiwon puts down his beer, retracting his hand from Dacre's leg to turn to the older man, waiting for the question.

''Have you ever cheated on any partner of yours?'' Gutierre asks, his eyes are calm and focused on Jiwon. Dacre flinches with the question, curious about the answer himself, after all, the Jiwon he met before dating him was a mess, sleeping around, with dangerous people and prostitutes, not caring where he was or who he was with. Of course that was a broken and decaying Jiwon, at Morke he was more contained, sure, he had several relationships, but he was a romantic at heart, believing in love, he dated several people, always thinking they were the one, but his relationships never lasted.

What he went through in the Empire was… a glitch, after he met Dacre, everything just turned upside down and it took him a while to understand why. But all he did while he was finding his own heart, messed up his love's heart, making him unable to trust him.

''Never, and I would never'', Jiwon answers, everyone there raises an eyebrow, doubting the man's words, but nothing happens, so he must be saying the truth. 

''Is it broken?'' Scarlet asks, touching the bottle that vibrates in her hand due to the thunder storm happening inside of it.

''No, he's speaking the truth'', Irene says with a sigh, ''What a bore''.

Jiwon spins the bottle, and as a work of fate, it lands on Dacre. 

''Ohhh, make it fun!'' Scarlet says, raising her new glass of beer, her face matching the tone of her hair. 

Calm and lecherous dark pink eyes stare down at Dacre, the intensity of his gaze burning his skin, perhaps he should slow down on the alcohol.

''Have you ever been in love?'' Jiwon asks carefully, chewing every word, trying to not sound eager.

Dacre wants to mock him, laugh and say that this is a stupid question, but the eagerness in his eyes stops him. For how much longer will he ignore this gaze? Well, probably until Jiwon backs off on his own. ''No'', Dacre answers confidently, and fair enough, the bottle stays quiet.

The man should have known, to ask a question that very obviously would end up in heartache, especially when for love to flourish one must first establish trust. And Dacre can't trust Jiwon, he never gave him a reason to.

An awkward silence befalls them as Jiwon's eyes go back to normal, the pain clear in them. Dacre turns away from his gaze, spinning the bottle as well, the bottle points to Miyuki. Great, I barely know him, what the fuck will I ask? Will he even answer?

So he decided to play safe and boringly, he didn't want to be there anyway: ''Do you currently like someone?'' His question is broader and lighter than the heavy topic of love.

Miyuki's face becomes a shade of light pink, he purses his lips and shakes his head frantically, not answering it verbally. But it was an answer nonetheless, a wrong one. The bottle buzzes and a small mana bullet flies towards the half-vampire, hitting his shoulder, immediately making it bruise, he groans with pain, but doesn't speak of it any longer than that.

''I will not let this go later on, Mr. I'll die alone'', Irene says, excited, looking at Miyuki as if she was looking at her own son. ''Go on'', she encourages him.

It stops on Raphael, however due to the man being completely out of it, Miyuki spins it again, and this time, it falls on the person he never even looked at before. Lord Rainier Bauldry.

The half-vampire opens his mouth, his voice is low and timid, he feels like burying himself in dirt so no one can find him, just like the gnomes at the Morke Kingdom. ''W-What d-do y-you l-like a-about L-Lowe?'' He stutters the whole phrase, and at the end of it, his face takes a new tone of scarlet red.

Rainier ponders, seemingly entering the small game, even if he still finds it childish, but he's already seven whiskey glasses in.

''Well, he is incredibly gorgeous naked, his sweet moans are nice too… Oh, but his eyes are sweeter, and I really like when he takes initiative and-'' before the future Duke can continue his drunk rambling, a hand covers his mouth. Lowe is panting and sweating, his face is just as red as Miyuki's, and he's by far the only one sober inside that room. The moment Rainier's eyes meet his, the man melts in a smile, his mouth still covered by Lowe's hand.

''What are you guys doing? And how much did you all drink?'' Lowe asks, frantically, pushing the whiskey bottle away from his boyfriend and directing a worried gaze at his passed out brother. ''Do you really need to check every box of Knights stereotypes?''

''I thought drinking heavily was a mercenary stereotype'', Irene comments, shaking her empty beer glass.

''It's both'', Gutierre answers calmly, he drank the most amongst everyone there, but is the only one seemingly unfazed. Of course that's only because he worked as a merchant and a mercenary, if he wasn't able to hide his drunkenness he wouldn't have survived as any.

''Just, let's go home'', Lowe says with a sigh. ''It's already two in the morning''.

His words make Dacre open his eyes in surprise, counting the glasses in front of him, did he drink that much? And how did he not notice the time passing by?

Slowly, Lowe manages to make everyone go home, behind him was Rainier, hugging him tightly making it hard for the man to walk, however he doesn't seem to mind. ''Thank you for taking Raphael back, Gutierre'', Lowe says. ''I don't think I'll be able to'', he points at the tall man behind him. 

''It's my pleasure Lowe, have a good night'', Gutierre answers.

From afar, Dacre observes as everyone takes different paths towards the same destination: The Palace. The cold wind makes him sober up a bit, and the streets are still bustling as the people enjoy the beginning of the New Year. 

''Here'', Jiwon approaches him, giving the boy a glass of sparkling water.

''I don't like fizzy drinks'', Dacre says, not accepting the water.

Jiwon freezes, as if Dacre just said that he was trying to kill him, when in fact, the truth is, they simply do not know each other. Jiwon doesn't know Dacre's favorite food, his hobbies or even his past, and nor does Dacre knows his.

''I'm sorry'', he says in the end, taking a seat next to Dacre at the square's fountain, the Bell Tower next to them is still ticking, as if there wasn't a body hanging from there just barely a month ago. 

''I don't care'', Dacre says with a sigh, leaning back, closing his eyes and feeling the cold breeze on his burning cheeks.

''I love you''.

Dacre scoffs.

''You love the idea of being my soulmate''.

''That's not true''.

He opens his eyes again, staring at the man, his short black hair is being messed by the wind, and his bangs now cover part of the sainthood scar, his black eyes reflect Dacre perfectly, like an obsidian mirror. Jiwon is gorgeous in an ordinary way, differently from Nikias that looks like a painting, or King Lyor that looks like he descended from the skies like a god. Jiwon is human, but a handsome attractive human.

Dacre doesn't consider himself to be ordinarily attractive. His messy wavy hair is dry due to his constant dyeing, his emerald eyes are different sizes - although only slightly, his mouth is too thin and his body is the only thing that could be considered attractive. In fact, he was only considered a prime product of the back alleys because of his thin and attractive body, well, that and his abilities with his mouth.

But when you put him next to Nikias or even next to Jiwon himself, he doesn't fit in.

Or at least that's how he sees himself.

''We're utterly incompatible, Sir Jiwon'', Dacre says, getting up. ''Our origins don't match, our position in society doesn't match, and most of all, you trust fate to make our love flourish while neglecting the basics of any human relationship.'' He sighs, it's the first time he speaks so calmly to the man about this subject, without raising his voice or acting angry. ''You don't know me, I don't know you''.

Jiwon gets up as well, getting closer to Dacre, he coupes up the boy's face with his hands, staring directly into his eyes. ''Dacre, I want to get to know you, I want our relationship to move forward, you're the one stopping us from happening''.

Dacre stares in Jiwon's obsidian eyes, leaning his face to the side, feeling the warmth of the other's touch. ''I don't want to be left alone again, my father died and my mother ran away after leaving her drug debts to me…'', he whispers, ''My life is stable now, Nikki and I grew closer, I have a good job, future prospects…'' Dacre sighs, stepping away from the man. ''Being with you is… like going inside an active volcano by pure free will, it's uncomfortably hot and a terrible idea''.

''That's not a fair analogy'', Jiwon says, pushing his hair back, his eyes slowly becoming pink again. ''Is it because of my past? Do you wish for me to kneel at your feet and beg for your forgiveness? Because I will in a heartbeat''.

The platinum blonde boy laughs. ''The fact you're asking me what you should do is ridiculous'', Dacre looks Jiwon in the eyes as he speaks: ''You were a Prince, then you went through hell and finally found peace and stability again. You have a family, broken, sure, but you have. If this relationship burns us entirely, you have people that will support you no matter what. I have none''.

''Prince Nikias is your friend''.

''Nikki would cut me off if keeping me around meant a loss for him'', Dacre points out, his emerald eyes are dark and emotionless. ''Don't try to put us in equal places, we're not equals. And most of all, I cannot give you…'' Dacre cleans his throat. ''A proper family''.

Jiwon laughs. ''A proper family? Who gives a fuck about that? I want you, you'll be my family''.

''That's not how it works! Are you blinded by the same fairytale that the Prince lives in? Do you think everyone is open minded? Just because you happen to be surrounded by supportive fools, doesn't mean everyone is like that!''

''Even so, you just need to surround yourself with those that are!'' Jiwon yells, luckily for them, most people on the streets are just as shitfaced as them.

''What a joke'', Dacre feels sick, and it's not due to the alcohol. It's impossible to explain to someone that never lived a life in hiding how it feels like. He shakes his head, why is he trying to speak sense into Jiwon? He knows it will bring him nothing, he is smarter than that. ''I am oil and you're fire, Sir Jiwon''.

''Stop'', the man says, his voice is low and he sounds angry. ''Don't keep trying to put distance between us, Dacre. I know I went all wrong about this, I should've…''

''What?''

''I should've known from the beginning, the moment my eyes laid on you. I should've known you were the love of my life''.

Every word that leaves his mouth just makes things worse.

''Oh my god'', Dacre says, laughing in disbelief. ''Jiwon, it wouldn't have changed shit. Sure we might've been on better terms, but it wouldn't have made me love you''.

''It would've been a start at least''.

''Aren't we dating already?''

''What's the use of dating? We kiss, hug and you still act as if I'm going to kill you just by just being near you!'' Jiwon looks at the sky, sighing to calm himself down, lowering his tone: ''Dacre, how can you see a couple like Lowe and Rainier and not see that this whole class difference or even sexuality difference is only a way to protect yourself from something that has yet to prove to be harmful?''

''I'm different from Lowe''.

''Aren't you both from the slums?''

Dacre pauses. ''I'm not from the slums'', he sighs. ''I mean, I am…'', he rubs his temple. ''My father wasn't from the slums, we lived near the river before he died, when he died mom sold the house and started using drugs…''.

''It doesn't change things''.

''It does! Lowe has nothing to lose! I do!'' Dacre feels his eyes hurting.

''You don't know if he has nothing to lose, you're scared of love Dacre''.

''Scared? No.'' He shakes his head, feeling a lump in his throat, swallowing dry. ''I don't wish for anything but to see everyone like me have a happy ending, I rejoice in others' love''.

''Then why not yours?''

''Because you do not love me''.

''I do''.

''Jiwon, fine, what do you love about me? Tell me one thing that makes your heart flutter''.

''Everything about you makes my heart flutter''.

He laughs again, ''Unbeliavable, you're truly delirious, Jiwon, becoming a Saint fried your whole fucking brain. You love the versions of me you saw inside your little visions of other worlds, you don't love me because you do not know me''.

''And we circle back to the beginning, then just allow me to get to know you''.

''I am an open book''.

''You're not as open as you believe you are''.

''I'm pretty sure at least Nikki knows even what underwear I wore last week''.

''He doesn't need to know that'', Jiwon frowns.

''My point is: let's stop this now, cleanly before any of us get hurt''.

''I am already hurt''.

''Then, my point was made''.

Jiwon takes a step forward, taking Dacre's hand on his own. ''Dacre, you tend to speak things without thinking and backtracking soon after, you're impulsive, aggressive and incredibly loyal''. His words make the boy frown. ''You're scared of being hurt, and that's fair. The world is unfair, I know that better than anyone ever could. But we shouldn't stop living because of others' unfairness. My words might not be enough to give you the security you may need, then fine, I'll kneel'', he proceeds to do as he said. ''I'll beg'', he pulls Dacre's hand towards his forehead, resting it on it. ''I'll cry'', tears fell from his eyes, as if they were just waiting for the right time. ''And I'll tell you I love you everyday until you start believing in me''. He kisses the back of Dacre's hand before raising his gaze to look at the boy. ''The one I love isn't a fake version of you, or a you from a different reality. My soulmate is the current you, I can see the line connecting our hearts and it's the most beautiful color I've ever seen. Dacre, your soul is radiant, I will forever be unworthy of standing next to you, yet I crave it. Your touch, your gaze, your love, I want it all for myself. It kills me to see you next to the Prince, a part of me fumes when I see Gutierre patting your head or when Scarlet hugs you. You're my entire world. If I were to become broken from this relationship, I wouldn't regret it, because if I don't have you, I am incomplete''.

''Then go to the doctor and get your head fixed'', Dacre says, pulling his hand away. ''I am not responsible for making you feel whole''.

''It was a metaphor'', Jiwon smiles sadly, the tips of his hair becoming pink, his mana is slowly leaking, Dacre can feel it, his own heart racing, his mouth becoming dry and the unusual excitement that doesn't truly belong to him.

''You're a ticking time bomb''.

''So are you''.

Dacre takes a deep breath, trying to differentiate between his emotions and the artificial ones being pushed by Jiwon's mana.

''You'll eventually find a woman that will give you what you need, it doesn't need to be me''.

''It was only ever you''.

''Oh, so when you were fucking all those women you dated before meeting me, you never said you loved them? You never felt like you could marry them and have a proper family?''

''That wasn't love''.

''Did you or did you not tell them you loved them?''

''It's not the same!'' Jiwon yells.

''Sure, because I am able to tell''.

Extreme emotions, a huge amount of alcohol in your blood and despair, that surely can drive anyone into making a harsh decision. And so Jiwon does. In an impulse worthy of Dacre's modus operandi, he grabs one of the daggers he keeps in his boots and stabs Dacre in the leg.

''What the fuck Jiwon?'' The boy yells, feeling the pain travelling through his whole body, the crouches down, unable to stand. ''Are you fucking-'' he can't finish speaking, because Jiwon cuts him off.

''I, Ji-won Hyeong, Ji-won Draeger, former Prince of the Angae Kingdom, current Knight of the Morke Kingdom, swear to cherish, love, and dedicate my soul and being to Dacre, whom I swear to continue loving until my soul perishes from the Universe, may I never betray, lie or harm him until the world is reduced to stardust and our souls cease to exist in any realm of reality'', his words are more like a chant he whispers, from his mouth a trail of pink fog leaves, reaching Dacre's open wound. He can feel Jiwon's mana entering his body, a feeling of unfamiliarity and warmth. And the moment it stops and a small pastel pink butterfly appears behind Jiwon's ear, Dacre realizes what just happened.

''You're absolutely insane'', he says, blinking slowly, the pain of his wound secondary to the feeling of disbelief. Yet he can't avoid but smile. ''Did you just made a mana pact to me?'' A lot of emotions cross his emerald eyes, amusement, anger, disbelief, pain and pure joy. 

It would be a lie to not admit Dacre likes being in control of situations, or others. He felt disgust towards himself when he relinquished the expressions of pleasure of his clients, and the same feeling is filling his chest now. He still doesn't believe in this love, or that Jiwon won't regret his choices. However,

He will die if he ever… Dacre laughs. He leans over, touching the back of Jiwon's right ear where the small proof of the mana pact lies, brushing it, his heart beats fast, he can feel his stomach fluttering and his head becoming hazy.

''Fuck'', he says, he can't seem to stop smiling. ''Let's go back to the dorm, I want to rip your clothes off, but I still am sane enough to wish to keep my reputation clean as a Knight'', he whispers in Jiwon's ear, making the man shiver.