Gu Qingyuan very much wants to see his dream come true, if his dream were realized, he wouldn't feel as troubled as he does now.
All troubling thoughts stem from being in such an environment where there is simply no choice to be made. That's why he hesitates, wondering why such things happen.
If he could, he wouldn't want to see such things happen, after all, Gu Qingyuan's heart is fully occupied by Shen Biran.
Shen Biran is the most important person to Gu Qingyuan, for the person who is most important to him, he must do all he can to earn Shen Biran's forgiveness.
If Shen Biran continues on as he is, there will be no chance for him to do anything else, after all, these things indeed make him act this way.
Gu Qingyuan has forgotten a lot, but upon knowing Shen Biran has awoken, many past memories have resurfaced.
Whether happy or sad, blissful or despairing, she has recalled so many things.
