"How do we open..." Natalya started. Suddenly she stopped and turned around. Jace followed and they looked back to see Anan standing at the door of the lab.
For the first time he showed expression, it relaxed them but at the same time caused them discomfort.
"Don't go in there, you shouldn't have come here, you shouldn't be here" he said a few sentences. His words seemed redundant with each passing sentence but there was no panic or hysteria in his tone, only . . . something deep and difficult to explain but something Natalya and Jace could feel.
Natalya tilted her head at Anan as she studied him.
"What's in there?" she asked curiously.
"My mother's quarters" he replied.
"And is this yours?" Natalya asked raising the journal in her left hand.
"You said you never knew your mother. That was a lie, wasn't it?" she asked continued well convinced that the Journal belonged to him.
Anan stared at her silently for a few seconds, "You're upset" he said. Not as a question but as a definite statement.
Natalya's glare softened, her mouth opened as if to say something but she shut it back in bafflement. She was upset, she recognized that but why? Why would she be upset that Anan lied?
Perhaps it was because no one liked a liar, or because she had come to trust him, or maybe it was because of the implications. If Anan was a liar, then why did he bring them here? Was everything he said about the energy field a lie too?
"That's not mine, it belonged to a past me," Anan replied answering the question.
"A past you?" Jace asked sarcastically.
"Yes, a clone if you will. As a Shapeshifter, my abilities are infinite but I must grow and morph to a better version of my kind. Each cell exists in an indeterminate form and in a constant state of change, because of this, I shed with growth. Like a snake's skin but not quite, I don't shed my skin"
"You shed clones"
Staring at Natalya Anan nodded.
"That makes no sense" Jace exclaimed, how many more abilities could this guy have? How could a shapeshifter's skill be so diverse?
"No, no, it makes perfect sense. He sheds clones, it's not a conscious clone but a different him without any abilities." Natalya looked down at the ground and continued mostly to herself.
"Each time you shed, you lose a part of you, memories, and a sense of identity, are you this form or the clone you shed into? Are you a single cell in this body or all of it? That's you you keep repeating the same thing like a crazy person." she looked up at Anan with pity in her eyes.
"Your clones. . .are you. Neither is Anan, you both are. But that's impossible" Natalya frowned, her thoughts reaching a figurative roadblock.
"It's not. At least it shouldn't be. And so natural laws try to rectify this break in reality. My clone and my real body begin to deteriorate" Anan helped her.
"And since your cells are Anan, the clone is erased from reality, leaving a new you. That is why you can't age because you are reborn over and over the time. What about the memories before shedding?"
"I lose those that aren't mine"
"Meaning?" Natalya was confused this time.
"Those not anchored to his identity as Anan." Jace helped her out, whispering in her ears while keeping his eyes on Anan.
"I don't understand" Natalya shook her head still confused.
"I remember the things that are truly my intent, my doing, the things anchored by my existence. The things that leave traces in time, I remember those things that live forever."
"Love" "Pain"
Jace and Natalya said at the same time before glancing at each other in surprise.
"Whatever you said is what is most true to your reality" Anan shook his head in amusement.
"Then you must remember your mother" Natalya ignored his comment and threw another question at him.
"Why?"
"Because she loved you"
"How do you know that?"
"Because you love her"
Anan kept silent this time.
"I don't like how I like you," he said with a frown.
Jace and Natalya both froze in their spots. It wasn't just what Anan said but how he said it. Worse still, Natalya had been using her ability to help Jace understand Anan, after all, while everything Anan said was true, his manner of speaking was... well abstract. Her ability allowed her to hear his words as a normal person would speak and she shared this with Jace somehow. But just now, something amazing happened.
Anan changed as did his voice. It was like two people standing in the same space but infinitely apart from each other. They saw what they somehow innately knew to be Anan's true appearance and it was a shocking sight to behold. His exquisite face was unreal, his hair like crowns of glory and his voice sounded so soothing and at the same time primal as he said.
"I love you but I don't like that"
It lasted only a split second but what they saw kept them frozen for a few minutes. When she recovered, Natalya realized that even Anan did not know what he just said, or what he truly meant.
"Why do you hide your appearance?" Jace asked.
"My mother said to, and you are invading her quarters. I have entertained you enough no? Now honor me as I have you and leave this place"
Natalya's lips twitched and she stomped out of the lab in anger.
Anan watched her leave, then turned to Jace with a perplexed expression.
"Don't ask me" Jace shrugged before walking out of the lab too.
Anan stood there looking into the lab, his eyes revealing a rare tenderness as he sighed.
"I don't belong with humans," he said as if saying something to someone.
"I wish you were here" he added. He stared into the lab for many minutes longer before closing the door and leaving.