" im so sorry alaine I swear i would have rushed back here had i know."
Getting up from the other side of the table where I was sitting as alaine spoke about what happened while I was gone the candle placed between us illuminating the emotions that crossed her face
Crouching beside the chair she sat in i embraced her reassuring her i would be here now
" i-its ok it wasn't yout fault I just still need a little time to get over it completely....if I ever will but last night helped a lot thank you for finally accepting me."
Her voice was shaky as she spoke but steadied as she spoke leaning more into the embrace
I stayed like that for a bit before reluctantly pulling away from her needing to do what I was here for
" i may have finally accepted you but what i have to show may change if you accept me." My voice was low as she looked at me worried than steeling her gaze she looked me in the eye
" that would never happen." I knew she truly means it but still.... taking her hands into mine i gently placed my head against hers
" are you ready?" I asked and after getting her confirmation I controlled my lightning element to link our minds by passing my neural pulses onto her pathways allowing her to visualize my memories
***
Her eyes closed wondering what ge could possible show her she felt his head gently touch her's then a few seconds later a strange tingling sensation spread across her head and something even weirder happened
Images began popping into her head that weren't her own confusing her until she realized this was him trying to share is pain
Up to this point she was subconsciously rejecting the foreign Images but as she accepted them more and more the images became less so and more a kin to seeing one of her own memories play out
Darkness was all around her besides below her where many candles surrounded a kneeling priest as he prayed asking for forgiveness begging for the eclipse that has devastated their village to end
As each word left his mouth an anger she never experienced in her life began to rush through her
She couldn't pin down the reason for the anger just that it was an inferno the burned hotter than the sun it was almost enough to drown out her other senses pulling her into it
The memory shifted and she was in front of the priest saying hunched over saying something
And as the final word left his mouth colorful flames burst out from under the old priest consuming him,slowly spreading to the rest of the empty shrine
The memory than showed her moving outside a strange sense of glee over coming her as the village was slaughtered before
The men tried to fight but it was pointless not able to do much being quickly torn apart by her or a creature she thought looked like shadow, every step she took caused another fire to start and the shadows from the burning the village to twist an morph into monstrous shapes
Any who ran didn't get far because jet black spikes would shot out of the ground impaling them men,women or children it didn't matter each was stopped from escaping
" please I beg you spare my children." These were the first words she has actually heard during this experience before the only thing she got was a feeling of what was being said
" what children?" She could feel the wide smile that twisted her face watching the woman turn back and breakdown realizing her babies were already gone erased to nothing
Walking past the devastated mother the slaughter continued in the end she wasn't sure how many were killed here but it was already beyond what she could ever imagine doing
The ground was covered in stained with puddles of blood most containing body parts that got coated with ash from the structures that now burned being fully engulfed in the inferno
Among the wreckage was the mother looking more like a zombie wondering aimlessly where her home use to sit death refusing to claim her so easily as it did her children
It was horrifying all of it she wanted to throw up but she could no longer feel her body only the anger, hate and frustration that now filled her entire being it was a endless cocktail of emotions fueling her actions
She got a moment of reprieve as her mind shifted once again before she was shown Image after image memory after memory of the same atrocity being committed dozens of times to different villages and towns all of them human
***
Pulling my head away from alaine I waited for her to come back to her senses moving a empty wooden bucket near her just in time to catch the vomit that flew out her mouth
" im sorry i know it's bad." I showed her a lot probably more than I should have honestly but I needed her to understand the scale of the atrocities I have committed she needed to know who she was in love with
"Thtp...ughhh." I rubbed her back in gentle circles as she got herself together
When she did finally get it all out and faced me I expected anger, disgust or fear to be her reaction towards me
Instead when I looked into her tear stricken eyes it was sadness reaching up her arms shaking as she gently grabbed the sides of my face " why?"
" because i needed you to understand who you were trying to be with." her voice was barley audible when she spoke
Slowly shaking her head she asked again
" why the anger, the hate that what could have possibly made you feel this way towards your own kind."
Her eyes locked directly onto mine piercing them into my soul searching for an answer
" t-there isn't an easy or straightforward answer really but more of a change in prospective over the time I've been alive." Avoiding her gaze unable to keep looking at her
" imagine the world was different and the only people that inhabited it were your own no elves, no dwarve and no humans around the whole world it was only your kind you would think it would be natural for them to unify right?"
She slowly nodded before I continued " but instead they start turning on each other for their difference this one has horns this one doesn't this has long hair this one has short everyone starts discriminating going into groups but still preach about unity failing to see their own actions go against." I was pacing at this point unable to stay still
" and through the chaos people will emerge that will take advantage of the discrimination turning more people against one another saying what they practice is evil or threats to there way of life, as they loot those ignorant enough to believe them growing richer becoming more of a threat for those that can see the act,see what they do in the dark and no matter how much you scream, plead or beg for them to see what's happening showing them the undeniable facts of the situation we are in, they are stealing from us they are killing us and our world they dont care they never cared it was all just a lie...they dont listen still believe the lies like mindless animals unable to even imagine how someone could be so evil!" My voice steadily got louder just remember all this was enough to send me spiraling
" it's enough to drive anyone mad what are you suppose to think when your own fucking species has proven it's unworthy of continuing, of not being able to stop the evil that infects because the good people in it cant even imagine the evil that is committed, the pain and suffering of hundreds of millions that is ignored everyday as the planet continues turning as laws are created to protect these atrocities its maddening to the point of insanity."
Soft chuckles echoed in the room as I tried to regain control but failed
" so imagine how I felt when I arrived in a new world only to find us being the same exact way....." the chuckles transformed into a manic laughter
" that's why when I took my first life I felt nothing because it wasn't the first time my hands were coated in blood....it was just the first time it was my choice, the first time i could actually stop those atrocities from happening." The room suddenly quieted as I looked back at her an into her eyes
" you want to know where my anger and frustration comes from?, huh...it comes from the lies, the suffering, the screams of billions ignored and those who could do nothing but watch as those they trusted to stop such pain from happening willing allowed it to be committed, apathetic to the blood and bodies that pooled beneath their feet."
" is that also the reason why tears fall from your eyes?"