Memory
"Nightmares are an extension of the darkest parts of our souls; to have good dreams, we must do good."
The salty tang of seawater hung in the air; in the distance, I could hear waves crashing against the rocks. The shoreline was my place of comfort, a place of comfort I shared with someone I only tolerated
Dahlia sat across from me; the occasional sway of the hammock I rested in did not deter her determined gaze from my face. She was waiting for my input and, foolishly, hoping to curry my favour —
"Well, what do you think?" the older woman asked me. She reeked of my guardian, and it unsettled me.
Had he claimed her and not felt the need to tell me? I quickly dismissed the thought
It was only a few months ago they'd met, and her presence had become sort of 'important' to him; he'd look like a kicked pup when she was gone too long- I paused.
It's not possible that he has, right? Her scent did change too…
I flicked my dagger; the movements grounded me, and I refused to respond to her question. (I ignored her daily) as I kept my stare. I would not back down; I wanted to make it clear her intrusion into my space was highly unwelcome. Dahlia sighed and put her head on her palm.
"You really dislike me, huh?" There was a faint humour in her voice coupled with weariness. All that I did not care for. Dislike could not even begin to describe it
I hated her,
She was weak, a mere omega, sickly at that, she would not bear my guardian's strong pups, she was a mere Florist without the slightest inkling as to protect herself,
She would only burden my Guardian; she spoke of things she did not understand, an ignorant fool.
Her greatest sin: I could sense the mating tension between she and my new Father!
"THWACK.", My fingers realised the weapon in my hand without my consent, but I did not feel the slightest guilt; my eyes were narrowed into slits, watching.
Dahlia had frozen, lips parted slightly as strand of her pink hair drifted slowly behind us, my dagger mere inches from her stupefied face.
that had been a warning.
I waited for her to react, to growl and put me in submission.
to dominate
prove her worth and value to me,
but all she did was stare in shock, she would've been dead had this been a battle.
She was weak,
Pathetic,
And I despised her even more. Slowly I stood up and walked away. no doubt my guardian would not be pleased with my actions. But it was necessary, for his own good
'Did you know dreams are sometimes an extension of our deepest desires?'
.
present
I became conscious of the beeping machine beside me like fog giving way to the wind, the smell of sanitizers and other substances attacked my senses, I found it quite hard to breathe and my head felt like it did not belong to me
"Seems like you're awake" The weakness faded in an instant, fire curled in my veins, my fingers wrapped around the hilt of my dagger hidden underneath my thigh, my body moved and metal clashed with ice steel.
pale blue eyes glared at me from beneath straight blonde locks, I realised too late I'd just tried to kill, next my body was slammed back unto the bed, taking the air (along with my pride as an officer) from my chest.
I felt ice materialise in my lungs threateningly and I coughed
"You'd do well to observe your surroundings before letting your instincts drive your brain like the rabid animal you are" the voice confirmed it's owner, and the fire in my veins receded in submission
"commander" I gasped out and the ice in my lungs disappeared.
Commander Olivia Gerret withdrew her ice steel (which had not so mercifully been pressed against my neck) and put it back in her sheathe, my superior stood high and mighty as usual, her long hair framed her imposing figure like a flag of war.
seeing that I'd come to, she tched and sat back down in all seriousness
"You took serious injuries from the bombs deployed in the area you were sent to clear" flashes of what I'd done before flashed by and I felt my stomach heave-except there was nothing to heave. annoyed with myself I put a hand to my mouth and focused on something else, Commander didn't flinch like this was another Tuesday for her, it probably was.
A hologram flickered into existence, it showed a recorded footage of the bombing, the entire place was ashes now, there was no survivor, my eyes widened as a memory sharply recovered, I looked to my superior who seemed to have been analysing that reaction.
"After sending the 'mission complete signal, you were supposed to leave immediately, but I you didn't, such miscalculation would have done you no damage. such explosions shouldn't be a problem had you protected yourself, but the healers found a small girl wrapped loosely in your embrace." The screen flickered to change into the footage of the same area, except covered in blood.
"Two of the retrievers lost their lives trying to separate her from your subconscious." The information only made me clinch my jaw. The retriever's loss of their lives was their own fault for being so weak and approaching me in that state. It wasn't news at this point that I could potentially control especially when unconscious.
But even that was the least of my problems, my gaze remained blank, the consequences of my actions loomed over me like a cloud.
"You disobeyed an order." there it was the accusation, pale blue eyes became narrowed, armour clinking as she crossed her arms, I felt her analyse me. peer for any clue she could write from my eyes, searching for a slip up: something only a spinless fool would initiate.
"I wiped out their numbers" I muttered
"A mission half done is no mission done at all" She responded coldly.
I consciously kept my breathing calm pushing away hawworing thoughts of what might have happened to that girl, my heart felt heavy with emotions I resented: guilt was one of them, Commander's gaze flickered with something brief as I resorted to looking past her, another feeling I resented the most made itself known along with the urge to remove myself from her presence. Shame.
Commander raised an eyebrow
"It's the first time since Gerald passed that, I've seen you look this." her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to find the right words.
"Compromised." she looked like she had swallowed something bitter, her gaze shifted to something else while I returned mine to her face. She continued—
"Perhaps there's still hope for your humanity." My pupils constricted at her words, something in me felt offended that she'd suggest I had any semblance to humanity; I was not human, however, I kept my thoughts to myself as Commander rose up— just then I noticed her ice steel, it was still safely tucked away safely at her strap. Something bitter & sardonic twisted in my chest.
humanity she says, I was a monster, I looked up at the ceiling in resignation; I wouldn't ask what happened to the girl, but the itch to know gnawed at me much to my irritation.
"The elders have suspended your status as officer for now, their reason being the condition of your health" or the really punishment for not obeying orders.
"You'll be on probation after your recovery, as for the girl, the elders have decided she does not pose any threat and may live among Junorians as a fellow citizen!!"
I felt the weight in my heart lighten.
"However," My body tensed again.
"She'll be put under observation under your care and guidance."
.
.
.
.
What? I turned my head to face Commander, almost snapping it in the process, yet she retained her neutral expression, or so I would've thought had I not observed her enough for the past few years we've known each other, there was a hint of wicked amusement in her tone.
"Oh yes, you're technically her guardian now, under our laws, as ridiculous as it may be "
A hologram flickered to life sowing the certificate /form signed independently by each elder.
.
My eyes widened to the size of pans, this was outrageous, mad even by my standards!
"I can't take care of a child!" I spat and clenched my fists against the sheets beneath me.
"It's absurd!"
"I agree with you" Commander responded putting her hand on her hips.
"You're not even 18 yet you take care of yourself just fine"
"That does not warrant me as an adult"
"You seemed to have contradicting thoughts during the establishment of the new laws years ago." I paused, she... wasn't wrong, I'd ruthlessly fought off anyone the elders put in place as my guardian, I made their lives a living hell and killed those who thought they could tame me,
I would have tolerated Commander Olivia, but she'd made it clear she didn't want a child under her care (much to the relief of the elders who by now, it's no secret, fear my potential rebellion.) A soft chuckle made me glare at Commander Olivia maliciously.
"Look at you, your feathers have been ruffled your rabid animal, you take me too seriously."
I glared at her the more, but of course I was but a sapling to her, she put her left hand to her mouth while I seethed. She tilted her head with a regal pose
"Well, it's only natural you'd take me seriously, I'm your Superior after all." she said to herself, mood significantly brighter.
"don't make me lose respect for you." I grumbled, she only beamed the more
"I doubt you would, you respect strength, too bad, it's a daunting yet terrifying and discouraging flaw of yours." She sat back and put her head on her palm.
"I can still see traces of Gerald on you." the sudden mention of him, made her gaze soften, I only felt dread and resentment.
my grip on the sheets loosened and I changed the subject, so wouldn't have to sit with the pain I suddenly felt in my chest.
"Was the part about her being a citizen of Zunaria a lie too?" Commander's gaze tightened back.
"No, I would not. I don't want my head on a platter for treason." That stung worse than it should all because of the man I missed. I kept my gaze somewhere else as Commander continued.
"Logically speaking, she is under your wing, but more as a servant than ward."
"Why?"
"I should say it's a way of the elder's way of pushing making the problem of the girl's lineage your responsibility and not added paper to their paperwork." I looked back at the commander.
"Lineage?"
"As custom she was ran through some tests, the parental test was just an added for detrimental, it had already been assumed they were dead since very recently, you were sent to wipe out that town, but the facts results came out different" with the flick of her wrist another hologram was added with the girl's details
"Turns out she is not from the towns you were sent to massacre." I blinked, ignoring the feeling of guilt (so I'd really wiped them out)
"She's not from anywhere recorded, her blood code looks strange," the hologram disappeared as Commander swiped her hand, I crossed my arms.
"Isn't that something they'd want to interrogate, what if she's got the virus?" I muttered, Commander paused momentarily.
"You stand correct! It's highly suspicious they'd hand her over to you on a whim, I advise you to be careful, the whole lineage theory might just be a facade to distract your attention from the possibility that she may be a spy. the elders planted"
I sighed. It was understandable, the elders were often paranoid, especially when a tool decides to spare a variable she's meant to kill amongst others. I suddenly felt a sharp, momentary pain on my forehead, Commander was now standing over me with her hand close to my head, she leaned back as I glared at her.
"Good. I have your attention again."
"Was that really necessary?"
"By my standards, it was."
"How fitting"
"Do not test me rabid animal " commander said lightly, I frowned, wincing the spot on my forehead to glare at her (she ignored my glare and continued)
"Things are quite tense right now especially now that the royal throne is at stake, don't be stupid." I slowly put my hand down as she continued—
"You are to remain strong till the end is that clear?" I huffed under my breath, irritated but attentive "Yes, commander." She became silent, Cogwheels turned in her head before she nodded, satisfied.
"I'll be taking my leave now, rest well." and she was gone. I stared at the door after her. The silence in the room felt down heavy, except for the hum and beeping of the machines in the room, I felt a tingle on my nose and sneezed—
BOOM
it all happened so fast, I witnessed the ceiling rotate around me, my body hit the ground roughly suddenly rendered useless,
It became hard to breathe
smoke filled the air, lights in the room I was in had changed to red, the occasional beep of the machines in the room had been replaced by dull automations.
"WARNING: WARNING! THIS IS A RED ALERT; ALL PATIENTS AND STAFF ARE TO PROCEED TO THE EVACUATION AREA."
Smoke filled my lungs and I coughed— my vision blurring as fire surrounded me— from a distance I heard the commander's voice.
"Shit! Hey! Don't you close your eyes! DAMMIT-HEY-
BOOM
her figure was tossed to the side,
I could feel the heat eating at my skin, but I couldn't move, and then, I wasn't conscious anymore.