Lit
Loyalty is a sin
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God will make a way! Isa 43:16
'And you are not low, Riley. Those who committed sins are considered low. And if you ever think yourself a sinner just tell me. I will go to the Lord and ask, ask for forgiveness.'
And at the moment, Meredith realises he has someone who will be his voice, who will mourn for his sins.
'You lit the candle that had not seen light for years. You gave me hope. I finally could see the path opened for me. And you walked in. You've shown me mercy. How can I not worship you? You are my Lord. You are-you are my sin.'
The melody of the curse is beautiful. As if it covers the warm wind inside the rustic wooden cottage. And the timber of the wall had shrunk with age, welcoming the wind inside. One grubby candle is burning on the corner. The ticking sound of the clock is making the atmosphere more chaotic, as if it can no longer hold its lust to eat the last pieces of time. One tired eye is gasping for the cold wind. It doesn't know when the sunlight went away! For the sake, the light from the candle had become a blessing. But it will almost be extinguished. It can only see the scars on the skin. Turning it to dark so that it can no longer feel the ache. Yet the melody of the curse is wandering in the background. It is beautiful!
'But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."' Corinthians 12:9.
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All the things Jhye Richardson noted were for an unsure step he is going to take. He still has not forgotten how he had been forced back years ago. No, he does not want any revenge, he wants redemption.
Rain is falling outside on its own. The splatter sound has made the mood gloomy. The road becomes wet as someone is walking in a pair with one umbrella and someone's speed of car is at maximum level. Most of the café is filled with people and the gardens are empty with the benches soaked.
It was Monday, a purified day just splashed with a day-long rain. Clouds are heavy and the sunlight has gone behind. Who can say if it's morning?
I was always under shelter. I saw the light but never could feel it. And when I was about to feel, there was no light around.
Nobody understands if the tune of the last note has halted. Nobody realised that things were falling apart.
Lit the candle. Suddenly, tears come. Closed his eyes- Was it the same view he had been watching for years?!
"Jhye, I never hurt Ellis. I loved him madly. I did all the things he asked for, all the things he wants. I had no complaint. I trusted him blindly. Since 2021, I started getting all the torture. He threw me on one corner. And there was no one around. It was totally isolated. I never scared off dark, but-but now-"
Jhye holds all the rage under his throat. As it seems it's forbidden to show the misery.
"I was always loyal to him. I was always on my knees before him, when he treated me as a servant. Listening to all the words, even the insults. When I realised I was just a tool for his target, I wanted to run, run so fast that I could escape from his sight. But I forgot he was the one who made my limit."
The cold wind made the body tremble. The cumbersome heart could no longer hold the rigid soul. Locked the door. Slipped against it, down on the floor. He banged his head against the wall. The spirit has been trapped in a barbarous cage. The candle is singing the last note of its song. Everything has its own end. Hold his body so tightly, what if the lock breaks? Each slam on the door is coming synchronously with the last seconds of the beautiful existence. He silently closed the weighted eyes. A delightful view suddenly shows up!
"Riley... Riley...."
He opens his eyes. Who- who just called?!
The candle went out. It had been battling against the cruelty. No, I am not the candle. I-I can never be.
"And for years, I remained in my same place. He blackmailed me. Not only me. I was saving myself there. I was giving myself everything I could, searching for all the possibilities to escape. I was praying to the Lord with the Holy Spirit. Reciting the Bible and keeping the faith that I was never alone. I-I was never."
The rain is splashing on the body like holy water. For the last time, someone came into the temple of the Almighty. It's Monday, the day of the week, he used to come for the Holy souls. But today he showed up to purify his spirit before escaping from the graceful eternity. He has not the gut to look up. He remains silent. Like, he already read every line from the heart as he has nothing to say. He cannot ask for forgiveness. If being alive is a sin, he chose to finish it. Right after it.
Opened the eyes- it's all dark around. The known view for him. He cannot see nor could he feel. Fetched the time on hand. The slamming on the door finally ends. But he can feel the warmth turning into an extreme level. If the sun rises, it will burn him. If not, it will freeze him to death. He grasped his knees so tightly. Yet the body trembles faster than seconds. Closed the eyes, reciting the last prayer.
"Riley..."
Opened the eyes with all the scares vibrating. The candle went out and it's been a decade.
Who?! Who suddenly showed up at this abandoned place?!
"RILEY!" Felt the shove on the body. "What happened? Are you alright?" Meredith looked at him. For a moment, something threw him in the previous days. On the previous torture. "I am here."
"I am here, Riley. Where are you? Can you hear me?" Meredith pushed his fragile legs and trembled body off the ground and ran to his desk. He left the laptop open and turned auto-answer on. It suddenly popped up and lit the screen. He could see it. He is shivering. Jhye, just take me away. Just-just save me. "What happened?"
"What happened?" He feels the warm hand on his faint shoulder. He looks right in the eyes. He can not hear the rain outside the church. When did the melody come back?
'It was burning me alive. Ate me. I don't know if I had some of me. I don't know if I existed. I couldn't hold the pace when I saw you.' Meredith holds him the way he always held his knees. He cried on the shoulder like it was his cheek. He grasped him like he grasped the dark. He knows how the heartbeat runs back then. It's the same pace. But he got the faith.
"Jhye- Jhye, you were always there showed up for me when I was thinking of finishing myself. I-I lost all hope at once. I-I-"
"Riley, it's okay. I am here with you," Jhye assured him and hugged him again, "Nothing to fear."
'Nothing to fear. I can open the screen and stay on the video call all night. It's okay. It's not dark. You can rest assured. I am here.'
'I am here. Let's pray together and ask the Almighty for grace and protection from evil.'
He is widely looking at him. Is it a dream? Am I already dead? Won't I wake up?
He lit the candle. As if he turns the rigidity into flexibility. Dark to hope. Tears to bless. Weakness to strength.
As the candle will never come to an end. Does the grace of the Lord have an end?
He was still looking. He never slept well. How is someone supposed to wake him up? No, it's real. He can still hear the rain falling apart. He holds the cross and closes his eyes for one more time. And this time, he couldn't see darkness. He saw the way. The way God has created for him.
It was the last prayer of me to my Lord. And it turned as the first for me and for us!
"Jhye, if being alive is the curse I would proudly live with it. Loyalty is the sin I won't hesitate to do. You are my Lord. I will always worship you.
'He will wipe every tear from the eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.' Revelation 21:4.
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