This work is a piece of fiction. While inspired by real events, cultures, and practices in human history, the story blends factual history with fictional characters, dramatizations, and creative interpretation.
It is not intended to promote, glorify, or encourage any illegal activities, substance use, or harmful behavior. All depictions of sensitive topics are included solely for narrative and historical context.
For the effects of the story, all characters are to be considered above the majority age.
Reader discretion is advised.
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Earth-5H1N3, Monster Metropolis, Year 2001.
Vampires, such a complicated 'race' is hard to classify under their official moniker, and calling them Homines nocturnae is not very self-explanatory, not when their physical traits vary so much from one another.
There were the undead vampires that resembled red-eyed zombies with sharp fangs, the ones that were more shadows and magic than filthy undead, the type that were more akin to bioweapons bred from a weird strain of the T-Virus, the type that were like a playable race with a bunch of stupid debuffs, and even some that for some reason were similar to porcelain or glass dolls that shone bright under the sunlight.
There were so many types that, to keep things simple to the outsiders, most Realities only included one such type under the definition of vampires.
After all, a zombie-like vampire wouldn't do well as the crush of a high schooler going through an awkward phase of puberty, right? Nobody 'sane' and 'normal' liked necrophilia, and I doubt few would have the stomach to read a story such as this unless it was decorated and whitewashed with 'beauty'.
Maybe my twisted mind is not to be trusted about this, considering I technically am a necrophiliac, given the unliving state of my Noona, and also, that I have done her while she is all curves and bones—quite the interesting fuck, I might add.
Still, as Wade Wilson's head spun like a top on its flight path to Shiklah's awaiting hands, I took a glance at the participants in attendance at Selene's conference.
For starters, we have Shiklah and her pet dragon, Bug... How the fuck is that a dragon is anyone's guess. Its name couldn't be more accurate.
She is a tall, raven-haired woman with demonic yellow eyes. Considering she is a variant of the famous race of succubi, her eyes are not the only demonic features; for example, her horns and scales covering her skin. However, she is in her human form, thus she is missing these exotic attributes.
Her family used to rule the monster world long before the humans arrived, during the early days of Earth, when Gaea was much more active. However, the vampires rebelled, and they waged war for millennia. From my comic knowledge, I knew her 616 counterpart was sealed away by her father in a sarcophagus to protect her from the ongoing war after her brothers had been annihilated. About this Reality's Shiklah... I don't know, but it looks like she is Deadpool's eye candy.
The reason she is part of this conference is enough for me to discard most of what I believe I know about her; she is part vampire after all. Additionally, she is the current ruler of Monster Metropolis.
As a side note, the reason she is being so cooperative is that she thinks this underground city is currently being held hostage by the roots of the Arbor Mundi, and Selene may or may not have alluded to that.
~Threatening your possible future subjects is not wise, Selene.
We have a few special individuals and the representatives of a few sects that initially we were not expecting to come, since they were mainly based in other continents, but it looks like whatever Newton did spread fast and wide enough to have reached these denominations.
From the side of non-affiliated individuals, we have: Eric Brooks, Elsa Bloodstone, Hannibal King, and Michael Morbius.
Eric Brooks is the famed Daywalker, the main vampire slayer of the USA, and, if judging by his cold glare, he is not particularly happy about being surrounded by so many high-ranking 'targets'.
Elsa Bloodstone... What the heck is that lady doing here? Aside from her blood having the property of curing vampirism, I don't believe she is supposed to have any relation with vampires, right?
I can see some connections to Blade, Deadpool, and Morbius, so maybe someone invited her to act as a buffer for these three? Hmmmm, but she is sitting next to Blade, so maybe... work partners?
Hannibal King doesn't look like Ryan Reynolds—and with Deadpool, it's hard to tell, too many tumors and exposed flesh—that's something. The private-investigator-turned-vampire is one I recommended Selene to include in this conference. He is not that significant a power, but he has a connection to the world above, so that's a good asset here.
Lastly, we have Dr. Michael Morbius. He is part of the archetype of a good man of science turning himself into a monster while trying to fix an unfixable problem. In his case, it was a rare disease.
That's what we have for special individuals, then we have the sects.
Let's start with the Mystikos Sect. Have you ever thought that if you were turned into a vampire centuries before the modern age, by the time the modern age arrived, you would be some sort of gazillionaire 'old money' dandy vampire running a big part of the world's economy from behind the scenes and leisurely enjoying a hedonistic life?
That's what the Mystikos Sect is. In fact, from my time playing Aragorn Abner, I remember meeting this particular vampire representing this sect, Elliot Zuckerberg.
The Mystikos vampires dressed in classy two-piece suits, and they had this air of elegance that they shared with Newton and Selene.
Are they 'good' vampires or 'bad' vampires? They are the most human-like vampires here-no! They are the most human-like beings here.
Similarly, based in North America, we have the Anchorite Sect's representative present.
Have you ever reached the enlightened conclusion that if you had been turned into a vampire centuries ago, by the time the modern age arrived, you would be done with these shitty humans and would have chosen to become some weird Amish vampire called Eli Zook away from civilization? Well, that's who the Anchorite Sect is.
They feed on pig, cow, and sheep blood. They are the Amish Cullens of Marvel!
Now, this doesn't mean they are 'good'. They hate humans even more than I do, and it wouldn't be strange that, given the opportunity, they would jump at the chance of getting rid of humanity. After all, just like the extreme environmentalists, they hate what humans and their growing population have made of the world.
On one of the 'corners' of the large circular table, I spot the Latex Mommies sect, more commonly known as the Siren Sect.
These vampires have more of my mental image of succubi than Shiklah. If you ever thought that after being a vampire for centuries, you would succumb to a completely hedonistic lifestyle and simply sleep around and feed on humans as you please, then this is your sect if you're a woman.
Other than taking note of their attire to later dress my Noona in them, they don't interest me. It looks like they are acting as the succubus queen's attendants and don't plan on participating.
I find more interest in The Forgiven and the Mortuus Invictus. These two are somewhat similar. The Forgiven is a group of vampires gathered by Raizo Kodo, who shared the belief that they don't need to feed directly on humans, that blood substitutes are an option, and, judging by the results of their actions, they could be considered a heroic group.
The Mortuus Invictus are metal-af vampires. If you ever thought that after becoming a vampire, you would not fight your bloodlust but channel it into ridding the world of your species, then this is the sect for you. These guys reject feeding on humans and feed off vampires who feed on unwilling humans.
Now that I think about it, just like how I used to waste a lot of time pondering what type of dragon I would be, I used to ponder on what type of vampire I would become...
Now, leaving the representatives of the sects behind, we have the reps of the covens. The most notable, and currently head of the leading coven in the East Coast, is Deacon Frost.
Now, as Deadpool's head is about to be smothered in Shiklah's breasts upon impact, I can understand the loaded mood in the room before our arrival. See, Deacon Frost is responsible for turning Hannibal King and Eric Brooks, and the vampire, based on the enmity my empathy is picking up, most likely clashed with Morbius and Bloodstone in the past.
"HEY!" Deadpool roared as if I had just pulled out my dick in front of a horde of extremist feminists. "I PLANNED TO USE MY DICK TONIGHT! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GROW A FULL MATURE COCK, NTORAGORN?!"
"You still have a tongue," I dismissed his yapping and stood behind Selene's seat. "Shut up before I take that away, too."
"Wade, how do you know him?" Shiklah didn't so much as ask as she ordered an answer.
"He is the second pillar to my story, Babe," Deadpool replied. "The Sasuke to my Naruto, the Knuckles to my Sonic, the Luigi to my Mario, the Vegeta to my Goku! He is the Netoragon, the cucking dragon!"
"I'll cure your cancer and then give you an even more aggressive one until you're nothing but a meatball-shaped tumor of a human, Wilson," I warned. "I'll make sure you have no dick and no balls."
Some may ask, why don't you kill him if you hate him so much? Naturally, I don't want him to enter my Noona's kingdom.
What about erasing him? While I could say that there's a fine line between erasing my enemies and erasing every minor inconvenience, the real reason is that I don't know how the Aniki would take it, and who is to say that Reality won't pop up another of his kind only to annoy me?
Also, deep down, like about as deep as the Below Place, I don't hate him, and I'm only butthurt about Earth-199999 keeping my Hestia.
"You think that scares me, huh?!" Deadpool retorted. "If I'm a meatball, what am I if not the largest testicle on the planet? Who would have bigger balls than my testicle, huh?!... Well, that is, until Galactus arrives with his spaceballs."
While Deadpool and I clashed 'respectfully' over our different opinions, the bloodsucking and not bloodsucking vampires glanced from one to the other like spectators at a tennis match following the ball.
"Do you know him, Lucian?" Selene asked.
"No, but you could call him an old flame of Noona, or at least, he considers himself that even if that never came to be," I explained.
"Hey!" the talking head shouted from the other side of the table. "My goth is gother than yours!"
"What?!" I demanded an explanation. My presence, weakened as it currently was, leaked, and everyone but Deadpool and Selene began choking.
"What is there to explain, buddy?" Deadpool preened. "Isn't a succubus queen way above that vampire mommy of yours in the goth scale? Additionally, my succumilf is milfer since she's older than humanity!"
"..." I glared, not finding holes in his argument. True, Noona was the gothest goth, but Selene was maybe a 9.6 in the goth scale, and that succubus queen, due to her attributes, was at least 9.8.
Since I couldn't allow this little shit a win, I pulled out his tongue and sealed shut his jaw.
"HMMM! HHMMM! HHHMMMM!" It trashed while I pulled back my weakened presence.
'Did you have to make a scene, Aragorn?' Selene asked telepathically.
'You're just happy because by comparison you're younger than her,' I replied.
'Well, yes. Even when you're this old, no woman would like their age brought up like that,' she said while nodding towards Shiklah. 'Look at the icy glare on that succubus. That head will not have a peaceful future.'
"I think it's time we start," I spoke while eyeing the now-spooked guests. "My Mistress' time is valuable. Your worth is not enough to waste it."
A few eyebrows twitched, some had a few facial muscle spasms, and I could hear their blood pressure rising. It was as if they wanted to blame me for wasting my Mistress's time, but they were mistaken. It was obviously Deadpool's fault.
"As the host," Shiklah stated. "I'll introduce the participants of this meeting."
She was the first to regain her composure; maybe it was due to her age, or she had experience dealing with beings of the power level I can currently display.
Also, when she said 'As the host', I detected some grudging undertone. From the perspective of a queen, even if only of this small city, it must be demeaning to be summoned to a conference inside her territory.
She introduced those I already knew by name and affiliation, with the only name I ignored belonging to the leader of the Mortuus Invictus—Vane—and then she passed the metaphoric microphone to Selene.
"I'm Selene Galio, one of the Externals, former Mistress of Rome, the Black Queen," she turned to Elliot Zuckerberg when she last said this. As part of the hidden underworld of the economy, I bet the leader of the Mystikos Sect would recognize this title. His wide eyes confirmed it, along with my empathy.
"And the reason so many of you attended my summons is that I'm the Goddess of Vampires. One of the deities of the Drachantheon Therion. The pantheon led by Aragorn, formerly known as Alduin, to which Goddess Gaea now belongs."
Deities can achieve miracles through divinity; it's in the description of the word, and, normally, they are indistinguishable from mortals when in disguise. They are not like those deities that mortals could recognize by sheer presence. However, this does not mean they can't project their divine presence onto the mortals' feeble hearts.
When she declared her standing, she did as much. Hence, no one was able to refute her claims. They all felt it.
"H-How is that possible?" With a stammer and some hesitant reverence, Shiklah asked while sinking her black nails into Deadpool's skull as stress relief. "There are mentions of Lilith as the Annunaki Goddess connected to vampires and succubi. Also, I recall that the first vampire, Varnae, was born from magic born from the Chthon Scrolls."
"My pantheon has a hostile relationship with Goddess Gaea's corrupted brother, the Demonic Elder God Chthon," Selene narrowed her eyes with offense. "After I created the first vampires, Chthon stole credit while I was indisposed and altered the timeline."
In truth, after the Aniki rewrote history, the point at which Selene created the first vampires, and in which Vernae was born, ended a few millennia apart. According to Noona, the effects of Aniki's retroactive continuity made it so that the past Chthon stole the idea from future Selene and then also stole the vampires she created.
"What's the purpose of this gathering?" Hannibal King asked, cutting to the heart of the matter.
"I've read of your kind in my family's library," Elsa Bloodstone said with unconcealed vigilance. "The part covered in the myths doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what gods have done to humanity. Are you here to demand worship?"
"I'm not even the same kind of vampire as this lot," Morbius said, claiming this was not his business; however, he did not attempt to leave the room.
"Goddess or not," Vane said in a husky and deep voice, "It doesn't change what our mission is. If anything, if you're like the rest of this," he eyed the bloodsuckers with disgust and then continued, "virus, then you're the ultimate subjugation goal of my sect."
"..."
A heavy silence, as if everyone was on the edge of their seats with their trigger fingers ready and hands reaching for their weapons, settled.
"Should I eliminate the Mortuus Invictus?" I cut the silence with my bladed question. "They are not that many, or as important as some of the other sects like the Claw and Krieger Sects."
If they were on edge before, now they are measuring how much damage they could do, if any, before attempting an impossible escape.
"Stay your hand, Lucian," Selene ordered while raising her hand.
This was a performance.
Vampires are a pain in my shiny not-metallic ass.
How many vampires were there? Of all the isolated communities, I'm talking Eternals, Deviants, Inhumans, Mutants, and many other minorities that lived in pocket dimensions, hidden realms, underground cities, or other secluded locations, vampires were the most numerous, by a landslide.
See, if an inhuman wanted more inhumans, they could go the au naturel route and reproduce or use the Terrigen Crystals. If a mutant wanted more of their kind, again, coitus was an option, and they could also try to activate the dormant X-gene. Eternals were fucked in their options to grow their numbers, and the deviants could have had options, but the Eternals bottlenecked their population. Most of the other minorities were limited by the resources available in their hidden territories.
Additionally, the threat posed by humans and their infestation-like numbers was real, and only fools would fight them for land and resources.
Vampires, though, all they had to do was hickey a human and that was it.
No nine-month delivery for their order of the next member. No complicated processes or rituals to add one more. And if they were careful enough, they could share the night cycle with humans; they were not unlike in physical appearance.
Obviously, as it is with all mortals—and I include vampires in this category unless they found a method to overcome bodily annihilation—there were only a few of them who truly feared Reality, hence, the vampires were not as numerous as they could be, but still, they were a fucking pest I did not want to be thinking about at all times.
So, I needed Selene to take over at least a third of them and then get rid of the rest who refuse to fall in line. That's why we are starring in this performance.
Before Selene ascended, my plan was good old genocide. I even planned to name it the Vampire Holocaust. Now that I have a Goddess of Vampires at hand, it would be foolish not to take advantage of the good dealt by causality.
I was the nuclear deterrent with a bad attitude, and Selene was the Geneva Convention. It was a simple plan born from the recent global dislike for deities.
I mean, if humans read that Zeus turned himself into a swan to rape a woman millennia ago, they won't truly identify with the situation. Rape is rape, or so modern humans claim, but based on what I saw in Earth-199999, rape is defined by society, which I think is stupid.
However, if they see on their smartphones' UHD screen a video of Zeus destroying a city and Hades trying to turn NY into the Greek Underworld, they can identify with the situation and properly hate the Olympians.
And that was good, that was part of the countermeasures we had to avoid giving faith to the invading deities. Hate did not exactly translate to faith, fear, or belief.
The problem was that now we had to change a little the perception they had of deities; we needed them to think of the deities of the Drachantheon Therion as their allies, as approachable, even the hateful vampires.
So, I played the bad guy. Considering that Shiklah will most likely discover who I really am after coaxing it from Deadpool with some sex, it will work perfectly!
They will get the impression that Aragorn, the new entity born from the fusion of Abner and Alduin, is a somewhat unstable being that is being kept under control by the love, care, or invested interest he has in the Drachantheon Therion. Ergo, humanity would gain a sense of camaraderie with my lovely therions.
So, I made my multicolored eyes switch to pink, which was not that hard considering that I've developed a sense of ownership over Selene, and stood behind her.
Vane—the rest as well, for that matter—uncoiled their tensed muscles and adopted a wait-and-see approach. That was good, we wanted them receptive.
"My purpose is to unite under my banner those who will follow me," Selene explained. "I care little about your previous sins," she eyed Deacon Frost in particular. Blade noticed this, and it didn't sit well with him. Hannibal King was no different.
"Under the blessing of my blood, you will not fear the sunlight." These were people used to concealing their emotions; they were warriors or experienced enough in life to mask their astonishment.
"Under my rulership, Earth is not the limit, and your current animalistic, frankly ritualistic, way of feeding will end," she revealed.
"Blood substitutes?" Raizo Kodo asked. His interest was evident.
"There's an intergalactic empire known as the Fulgebunt Draconis Imperium out there," she pointed up, towards the surface and beyond. "What our believers' resources can produce is so much superior to human blood that calling it substitutes is a mockery to its science, magic, and technology."
It was too much information, overwhelmingly so, but this was part of the strategy. Selene wanted to offer them something beyond their limits, something unattainable to them.
When they return home and go over this conversation, they will realize that they have little to no choice, especially since... anyone who doesn't join her wagon will be ended.
"Goddess," Deacon Frost said. "What about the hunt?"
"Hunting humans? What challenge do you find in that? They are feeble, slow, and careless. If you crave the thrill of the hunt that much, isn't Mr. Brooks a better goal to strive for?" Selene pointed at Blade.
Blade turned to Deacon Frost and smiled widely. He knew the vampire feared him and would always gang up on him. Deacon Frost was not a seeker of the thrill of the hunt; he was a puny sadist, that was all. His character was not complicated.
"Oh, but we were so close to catching the Daywalker," Deacon Frost smiled.
"Dream when you sleep, Frost," Blade mocked him.
"Daywalker," Deacon Frost hissed, fangs out.
"What about those who won't join your cult?" Elsa Bloodstone asked.
"If they are vampires..." Selene dragged her reply. "I should explain more before I reply to that, then you'll draw the same conclusion my pantheon did."
Selene smiled amiably before starting her story.
"Let's start with the Corrupted Elder God Chthon," she said in a somber tone that swallowed the room. "Billions of years ago, Goddess Gaea plotted the expulsion of the corrupted Elder Gods.
"Judging by your intact mental faculties, the life or unlife that you lead, and the obvious stable Reality, she succeeded.
"It came not without a price. The planet was so broken that Goddess Gaea had to merge with it to repair it and to ensure life could flourish. Be grateful." She made sure everyone was paying attention.
"After billions of years, the first of the living came to be," she turned towards Shiklah.
"Monsters?" Shiklah asked, unsure of her answer.
"Not exactly. The deities were the first, but yes, monsters were the first of the mortals to walk the planet, and even some of her siblings' scions, dinosaurs, shared Earth with her progeny.
"History happened and then, recently, by our scale of time, Lord Alduin met Goddess Gaea, and they joined hands to conceive life. A son."
Similarly to before, they didn't visibly react to the revelation of my Kernel's existence, but they could not lie to our empathy.
"That son, and the fear of Lord Alduin's power, is what drove the deities mad with greed and powerlust. That's the reason behind the incursion."
"They wanted the divine baby," Michael Morbius concluded.
"A collar and a chain," Elliot Zuckerberg added. "I can understand that. Cooperation runs smoothly when a rival has irreparable consequences to fear."
"Fools," Hannibal King commented.
While Hannibal King was a vampire, he felt closer to humanity than his cursed kind. He lived during the nights, but always near humanity, and like most humans, they had a parasocial relationship with my Alduin persona; they felt that, in a way, they belonged under the protective aura of Alduin.
"This incursion was spearheaded by Odin, Asgard's mad Godking. However, aside from the 'regular' deities' incursion, several other ploys were started behind the scenes.
"It's unclear if this was part of the mad Godking's calculations, or if it was a simple repercussion of the interdimensional and intergalactic clash between that thing, Kubos, and Aragorn, but there's been activity in the Splintered Realms. The home of Gaea's corrupted siblings.
"Additionally, one of my people, our Goddess of Hell and Chaos, ripped a part of Chthon's authority over Chaos and stole it for herself with Aragorn's cooperation. Do you understand the picture now?" Selene asked like a teacher explaining the Israel-Palestine Conflict to her students.
"... You'll kill them, won't you?" Elsa Bloodstone asked.
"Me, one of my people, or maybe even Aragorn himself. It doesn't matter, does it, because if they don't follow me, they'll follow Chthon, and that won't be allowed by our dragon," Selene replied calmly, contrasting with the unrest in her listeners' hearts.
"Why?" Blade asked. Although he planted the question, I couldn't feel dread in him; in fact, there was a pleasant smugness my empathy was sensing.
"Because a Corrupted Elder God needs followers to open a door for them into Reality," I replied, my eyes crimson, even more so than the vampires' own.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"I'm convinced, Mistress," Raizo Kodo said before standing up and walking to Selene. I did not make a move to stop his advance, and he noticed. He knealt, like a samurai to its lord, and declared, "The Forgiven will follow you, Mistress. Your declaration is the light at the end of our tunnel."
This was not surprising; we foresaw it.
"Raizo Kodo," Selene smiled warmly, even somewhat seductively, and continued, "It gladdens me to accept your blade."
The next to move was Vane.
"Mortuus Invictus shall assist with the elimination of the dissidents... Mistress." That last word was hard to get out, but he managed it while genuflecting to Selene. "I implore you to allow us to join you after we have made sure the pests have been eradicated from our planet."
That also made sense; these guys truly lived for the hunt and for the moral mission of ending any and all vampires that drank blood from victims instead of donors.
We predicted that from this batch, only Deacon Frost would try to stall before eventually rejecting our kind offer.
Shiklah was the uncertain element in our predictions.
I turned to the muffled head that was peacefully snoring in between the succubus' breasts and reached into Deadpool's mind.
'What the shit is this?'
'Welcome to my world, Netoragorn!'
How to describe this shit... It's like someone wrote a billion-word biography of their life, switched the pages around, mixed the paragraphs, changed the structures of each sentence, and then mixed several languages, finally, to completely fuck it all to kingdom come, they rewrote the biography from different points of view and repeated the whole process, multile times, at least 189 times that I could count.
To say that this idiot has multiple voices in his head is an understatement.
I turned towards the avatar standing to my left. It had the body of a chihuahua dressed like Deadpool with the head of a man that resembled Ryan Reynolds in seven-eighths.
Then, to my right, I found another avatar. This one looked like Deadpool, except it was formed of a colony of miniature versions of himself.
'I wanted to ask if you think your goth would join Selene,' I said. 'But now I'm more curious about this shit you call your mind. How does this even work?'
'It works?' Asked the colony avatar with about 188 overlapping voices.
'Good question, does it even work?' I asked, sending my psionic senses to explore this aberration to the concept of [Mind].
'Let me give you a guided tour,' the Chihuahua avatar said while wagging his tail excitedly. 'Let's start with the Childhood Trauma Rollercoaster! It all started when my uncle caught a glance of my plump behind!'
His mind shifted. Let me repeat that, it was not that his mindscape shifted or that we were pulled into this Childhood Trauma Rollercoaster; it was that his whole mind shifted, his personality, memories, ego, id, and several other 'things' that this shit-of-a-mind had that no other I've ever encountered did. The whole thing shifted, and I found myself boarding a rollercoaster with the chihuahua avatar in my lap and the colony one to my right.
'To be honest... I don't remember anymore,' the chihuahua barked happily. 'But anyways, let's ride this bitch!'
The rollercoaster started with a bang, literally; it exploded, and we were launched somewhere else while his mind kept shifting and shifting.
'To your left, you can observe my field of fucks,' the chihuahua avatar spoke like a tour guide.
'Empty?' I asked with a deadpan.
'Most certainly!' the colony avatar replied, and then all 188 voices started to laugh; this time it was not the same laugh or voice, each one had its own laugh, so it sounded as if an audience in a sitcom were being told to laugh.
The audience-like laughter made the whole mind shake before it shifted again, and now we were travelling underwater. It was not like the ocean most would recognize; it was yellow, and it smelled like ammonia... piss, it was an ocean of piss.
'Gurglegurglegurglegurgleguuuuurgle!' The chihuahua avatar explained.
Yeah, I didn't understand what it said, I don't think even itself did, but I could imagine this was the ocean of the many times he pissed on life, or something stupid like that.
His mind shifted again, this time we were riding through a world of porn... no, not porn, no, well, there was some porn too, but it was mostly a trophy room of his conquests.
'Yes, yes, yes,' Chihuahua nodded, pleased with the display.
'Is that a dog you're fucking?' I asked while pointing at one particular scene. Zoophilia didn't disgust me. I have fucked Noona in every variation of our dragon and humanoid forms, but it was objectively unsanitary and twisted when done by humans.
Still, something didn't match. The dog had large breasts bouncing with every thrust, and the vulva was human, not canine.
'No, I don't do animals,' Colony replied. 'Wait, if they are thinking animals, you know, sapient, I could... Actually, I've always had this dream,' colony turned towards me with a hopeful glance. 'Do you know Donkey from Shrek?'
'Find yourself your own dragon.' I almost ruptured half of this shit when I understood he meant me and not Noona or one of my Therions. But I exercised self-control when I realized that breaking half of his mind would not amount to much; this shit was already beyond broken.
'My soulmate, Netoragorn,' he eyed me with starry eyes.
'...' I didn't answer with words, I made the whole shit quake.
'Fine, fine, fine! But it is your loss,' Chihuahua relented. 'Anyways, it was not a dog, it was a bitch.'
'A bitch is a female canine,' I stated the obvious.
'No, I mean a human bitch,' Colony explained.
'What the fuck is a human bitch? Do you mean like a mutant?' The fuck is this idiot saying?
'No, I'm pretty sure she was a normal human woman,' Chihuahua said, somewhat... disappointed?
'Are you telling me that's how you saw her, a literal bitch with tits and a pussy?' I asked dubmfounded. I think I would have preferred it if his sexual palette included something 'normal' like zoophilia.
'Well, I don't know. That's how I remember her, as you can see in that memory,' Colony pointed at the unholy scene. 'But I'm sure she was a normal human, just a bitch.
'... Let's just move on,' I pleaded.
'Oh, oh, I know!' Chihuahua said before everything shifted again.
This time, however, it was a rough shift, as if it had been forced(?)—is that even the correct descriptor?—as if something refused to show what he wanted to show me.
Then, with a weird, wet popping sound, one that I could easily recognize from my times spent with Noona, everything shifted, and now we were not in a rollercoaster car anymore.
We were in a drive-in theater. Surrounding us, boarding cars, trucks, yachts, airplanes, helicopters, scooters—is that a fucking Destroyer?—and all manner of spaceships, 189 avatars were observing a screen that looked more like a rectangular hole in his mind.
For a moment, my eyes failed to recognize what I was seeing, but then it all clicked. It was the entrance to Earth-1218; this Multiverse's Real World.
Now I could understand what that thing restricting us was.
'Aniki?' I asked.
'Aniki? Is that the old man?' One of the avatars asked, this one looked like a goblin dressed like Deadpool, and I could spot several human limbs in the back of his pick-up.
'Is that Jack or Stan?' This one looked like... Blake Lively? No, she did not look like Ladypool; she looked like Blake Lively, as if she had just spoken with an eldritch terror, and this one replied.
'Hey! Who pulled our waifu here?!' A Deapool dressed as an admiral asked before making a gesture and shooting Blake Lively through the entrance of Earth-1218.
I followed her with my eyes and saw how she woke up with a start in the middle of the night and punched the man sleeping next to her, Ryan Reynolds.
'I think it was the goblin,' Chihuahua said. 'He most likely wanted to eat her.'
'Hey!' the gobling shouted as if offended. 'Not before I made her bear the next generation! How do you expect me to grow my horde?!'
'Do you want to see your comic?' Colony asked.
'Why the fuck not?' I asked, no hesitation. Existential crises were for pussies and mortals.
The 'screen' shifted and I found the mortal version of the Aniki, somewhere in his last years, busy drawing panels of an unpublished comic retelling my story... No, it was not my story; it only contained the parts of my story that happened in Marvel.
'It doesn't have the parts outside this Multiverse,' I pointed out.
'Outside?' Colony asked.
'I think we had already reached a conclusion related to this, right?' a child Deadpool said before pulling out a binder from the glove box of his Ferrari.
I glanced at the text maddly scribbled on the paper.
-> Chimichangas are God.
That was the first conclusion.
-> Goth supremacy? More like the one and only religion!
I could agree with that, but still, I managed to recognize this binder by the psionic importance it held. This binder was the equivalent of the core beliefs, commandments, values, principles, etc of a person.
-> Spiderman? Spiderbro! Otouto!
The list went on and on, each core value even more twisted than the last, until it arrived at: My waifus are Outside!
'Here it is!' This whole shit quaked with that declaration.
I felt all 189 pairs of eyes—though a few had more than a pair—land on me with an intensity that felt like a psionic attack.
'Are you telling me/us that you could reach/kidnap our waifus and husbandos?!'
'Wednesday Addams?!!!'
'Throw in Morticia Mommy too! Oyakodooooooooon!'
'I'll take that whole Addams!'
'Raven Thighs!'
'Eric Draven ma'boy!'
'Marceline Vampy Queen Baby!!!!!!!'
'Re-L Mayer, my Cybergoth to go!!'
'Stockiel "Stocking" Anarchy!!'
'NOOOO, that is forbidden! The Interdimensional FBI only cares about outward appearance!'
'I'll have one Vanessa Ives, please and thank you!'
'Can we get our own goth each?!'
'How about 9, one for each hole!!'
'Make them futas!'
'Someone end that degenerate! There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny! Only guys with tits!'
'Even better!'
'... He is right! Someone get this man a futa!'
'DEATH OF THE ENDLESS!'
'I'll even take Dream!'
'I want them ALLL!'
'There must be a Goth Ladypool out there!'
They all spoke at the same time, the different vessels of transportation disappeared, the entrance to Earth-1218 went somewhere else, or maybe we did, I was too distracted by the culture of this Deadpool to notice what happened to it.
Then, their numbers increased factorially, and soon a tsunami of avatars fell on me. I was literally swimming in an ocean of Deapools, all crying out loud, with tears of blood, their favorite goth, as if I were some Interdimensional Service of goths or something.
It was a psionic attack that, to my current mind, restricted to the beyond-omega level, was managing to erode me. Well, it was nothing serious to me, but I think I discovered what killed that Xavier from the Reality where Deadpool went full psycho.
But, well, I was no amateur. I knew how to handle this situation.
'Okay, I'll agree to one. On one condition, though,' I tempted like the devil. 'A fair deal, no? Just convince Shiklah of siding with us.'
'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!'
'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!'
'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!'
'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!'
'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!'
'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!'
'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!' 'Deal!'
'Tell me which one and I'll bring your dream goth the next time I go out. Just one, though.' I smiled like a demon before disappearing and exiting that House of Madness.
Discord/Strife/Erida, that was the answer.
Deadpool's voices were not like my selves. Each of my selves contains a core copy of my root; although they embody different 'aspects' of me, they are all me. We have no discord; we all want the same, even if sometimes we offer different routes. Hence, there's no strife.
But Deapool's voices... Those, no matter how twisted and unrecognizable they were, were not selves. The closest definition would be independent thoughtstreams that gain a semblance of sentience and authority, and each of them was born from a thought.
If you have ever had a difficult time deciding what to eat, then imagine if each thought had its own will.
So, when I came outside, the head had a dazed expression. Shiklah didn't notice, or perhaps she thought his dazed expression was because she was holding him in between her breasts.
If my predictions are correct, he will remain like that until Shiklah asks him for information related to us. Then he'll nudge her into our side. He will be careful; he is not stupid, even with that shit in his mind. Then, when he has to decide which goth to request, strife would return.
I honestly doubt it will take less than a year for him to reach an accord.
The meeting ended just about as we projected; most of the neutral, or good vampires, sided immediately with us. Selene did not have a good reputation among her circles, but I did.
The Corporate Vamps requested time to evaluate projections and growth indexes; that was expected. In the end, the benefits outweigh the detriments, so they'll capitulate in our favor. Like the mercantile vamps they are, they try to look for a way to increase their perceived value to request a better deal.
Deacon Frost, though, was only part of the meeting to carry out the message. When the time is right, he will become the message.
━━━━━━━ ● ━━━━━━━
The Crystal, Halo.
Today I was in the Crystal. My body was still recovering, in the sense that I still did not have a body aside from my flaming incarnation.
The reason I left my post protecting the entrance to Gaea's Realm was that the tree finally recovered enough to seal the entrance, and Gaea finally gained full mastery of her dimension; she officially became a Dimensional Lord.
Okay, maybe she was from the moment she stepped inside and claimed it, but there was a process of acclimation she had to go through to absorb and process all of the chi from the Pearl of the Smaragdine Umbrage of the Myriad Leaves... Yeah, no one is naming her new realm that, but the point stands. Like a cultivator needed to process the gains, Gaea was going through an equivalent process.
During this time, that annoying nigh-omniscience all Dimensional Lords have within their realms was faulty, so I was standing ground at the entrance.
From this, an unexpected outcome, neither of us considered, because it was not supposed to be a factor, resulted. Gaea informed us that she sensed our baby's gestation period shortened.
Sure, with some linear logic, one could say that if Gaea got stronger, then the baby would be born sooner, but that's not how it works. How do I know? Because I asked that same question.
The standing theory is that the baby did not grow faster because of Gaea's growth in power, but because of her change in status, from Elder Goddess to Dimensional Lord.
Maybe... we don't really know. There has never been a baby like this.
I had a few things to do in Halo, then Noona said that she would drop by to give me something one of the Celestials handed to one of her hosts in another Reality.
First of all, not that important, but necessary, Rhomann Dey will come to visit today.
If it were not for the fact that I can't forget, I would have forgotten this dude because of how little I care. No, it's not that I'm belittling him, or the Nova Empire; it is that I left all of that matter in my Therions' hands, so I stopped caring.
I'm going to receive a medal from the Nova Empire for saving the universe... There's something to this that's making me feel... things.
The venue for the awarding ceremony had been chosen outside the Arcology Embassy. This was not to reflect on how little the Xandarians cared about me, or because they did not want to allow me to enter their building, but it was because Halo's environment had become such a beautiful landscape that the Xandarians saw it fit to the background of the ceremony.
The dusk in Halo was more beautiful than most sunsets because it was at that time that the glow of the bioluminescent flora painted an unforgettable picture. The contrast between the vivid colors of the flora's light and the setting sun was something worth the minutes it lasted before night set in.
Rhomann Dey waited for me at the stage, and I walked as if I were a bride. The eyes, which are what the Xandarians call the floating cameras around me, captured me from every angle.
The first time I met the Xandarians, I was in my male form, and since I was sure this was going to be viral in the IntraNet, I wanted to dress in my most beautiful form. My female form.
Well, given my original sexuality and the fact that I consider females more beautiful than males, simply because I can't say males are beautiful unless they are feminine, I could be biased.
Still, judging by what my empathy caught from the officials present, I was slaying this.
The ceremony was a quick affair; I had deliberately asked so.
"..." Rhomann Dey had a hard time starting. It was not because he was flustered by my beauty; his mind was overloaded with too much traffic.
"It is an impossible task to express the gratitude felt by the quintillions in the universe with this medal," he started in a somewhat dejected tone.
"What my lord accomplished... I can't express how significant it is." Maybe my listless expression was getting to him, but he should have been told that the iridescent colors my eyes were giving meant that everything was good.
Perhaps, the appropriate action would be for me to smile to set him at ease, but... I won't accommodate him. He is not one of my therions.
"I wish I could gather all the appreciation and gratitude the universe is willing to convey to at least show a percentage of what this meant to us, Lord Aragorn," he held my gaze... Does this look like a wedding ceremony?
He bowed deep enough to make me think that this guy was truly pulling my leg. This shit is turning into a Korean wedding. This is the part where the bride and groom bow to each other to express love, respect, and devotion.
If this guy gives me beady eyes, I'll make him go splat. I don't care if this is live throughout the IntraNet!
Rhomann Dey was taller than me in this form, so I didn't have to lower my head and make it look like I was bowing back.
The medal was just as simple as any other metal medal on Earth, but I quickly spotted the differences. The metal was special... This is actually my first time seeing this metal... No, wait, let me correct myself, it was not special, it was rare. Like EX-Rank rarity. But, other than being rare and having a cool iridescent shine, similar to bismuth but more glassy, I couldn't think of any use.
Still, I like its shine.
I think... I'm understanding what it is exactly that this ceremony is making me feel.
I was A'Heelah to humanity of Earth-199999, I was Alduin to humanity of this Earth, and I was Aragorn Abner as well.
As Abner, the only ones who ever expressed their thanks for my work were my employees when I paid them their Christmas bonuses, and that was a contractual relationship.
As Alduin, sure, they appreciated me, some even worshipped me, others simply took me for granted, but none ever expressed their heartfelt thanks.
And as A'Heelah, that was possibly the most depressing one. They only sought after me when they needed something... No, well, they had their own prayers, but that was like the Lord's Prayer, people knew it by heart, but... It was not the same.
I think they called it the A'Heelah Healing Prayer for Protection. I mean... couldn't they even muster their will to create their own prayer? Wasn't it like handing a loved one a bought letter?
Wait... Why do I even want their gratitude?
... Is it only because they have never expressed their gratitude to me?
My Therions have, but they are my family... Family is all that matters, so... Why do I even want their gratitude?
"Your thanks and prayers have been acknowledged," I replied dryly. "This is my home, my loved ones are here. It's acceptable behavior to protect one's home..." I turned to one of the lenses and added, "But I also recognize you are part of that home, and it would, possibly, not be the same without you in it."
This was the best I could do to not lie to them. It's not like I can't lie; I've lied to the masses plenty of times, but I didn't wish to lie this time.
I exchanged some meaningless pleasantries with Rhomann Dey and a few high-ranking officials who dared to talk with a monster like me. Then I retired to Gaea's Realm.
My sweet Chocolate was sleeping, which she does regularly now that my baby's growth sped up, so I didn't disturb her and went to the room where Noona last left her body.
We first thought to store it in the Crystal, but from a logistics POV and to protect Gaea, just in case, we settled for storing it in Gaea's Realm.
The body was floating inside a special containment unit, which was a large crystal. ~Hehehe, I like crystals.
Held in between her hands, I found what she wanted to pass to me: a crown.
Maybe she was too busy and couldn't stay to chat; ever since we returned, she's been busier. I should drop by after I finish healing.
I pulled the crown out of the crystal and analyzed it. When comprehension dawned on me, my eyes almost popped out.
It was an Infinity Crown.
Originally, there was only one, just like there used to be only one set of Infinity Gems, but after the One Reality split, multiple versions of the Infinity Crown were born. The thing was that the crown itself was not part of Reality, so after so many years of existing, most crowns succumbed to the passage of time, and I had thought there were no more in the present and that the only ones that I could possibly find were in the distant past.
This is a nice present... Even Celestials know how to be grateful...
They know I don't plan to wear the crown with the gems, but they also know I like to collect trinkets like this.
... It is really strange, why do I want them to be grateful all of a sudden?
Then, it hit me... I missed her.
I... I wish Hestia were here. She would have helped me figure this out...
╚═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╝
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{A/N:
Please check out my P@treon account! There are already 10 chapters ahead for premium members, which is at least 100,000 words. Premium members also gain access to a new chapter every week.
[email protected]/ExistentialVoid
Free Members get access to all free chapters, and I upload free chapters about 12 hours earlier on P@atreon.}
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