Insinz was the last to join. His birth name was Hyzi, but he changed it upon discovering he was the Chosen of the element Smoke.
His arrival was unusual. He was the only one who came alone and revealed his powers without prompting. I rarely saw him interact with the other six, and he seemed to require more hands-on mentoring than they did, often coming to me for guidance.
To describe his appearance, his hair was a soft pink with fluffy curls, like cotton candy, fading into purple at the tips. No matter how it was cut, the ends always darkened. He also has light brown skin and kind-looking, electric blue eyes.
He never resented me, and he treated me as if I were a normal person. It was refreshing, but more than I deserve.
One day after class, I was sitting with him, going over the ins and outs of his element,
"Your strength lies in poison. We call it Smoke, and the gas you create is very similar, but you can alter the compounds in it to paralyze, damage, or even put your foes to sleep. Smoke is a specialized extension of Earth." I put my hands together and looked at him firmly, "I need you to make a Smoke Orb for me. We've been talking for a while—do you think you can do it?"
He grinned up at me, eyes sparkling in the light.
"Nope. I don't get it," he replied cheerfully.
I groaned in exasperation.
"This is the third time I've explained it to you."
"Hmmm... Can you make one to show me? That might help," he suggested.
"Of course I can't make it!" I snapped. I couldn't control such a volatile element... in fact, I can't control any, all I have is my dangerous defensive telekinesis.
I was ashamed of losing my temper and shouting at him, but he laughed it off.
"You're funny," he said.
Then, without hesitation, he held out his palm and formed a perfect gas orb. "You mean like this?"
My heart pounded—but not from fear.
"You could have made it this whole time," I accused.
If he were truly an amateur, the orb would be shaky and barely contained; his had no flaws.
He hummed, stood up, and said,
"See you tomorrow, Tana."
Was he pretending to be slow just to spend time with me?
The skill he just displayed is advanced. There's no way he could've gone straight into forming one unless he'd already mastered the basics. I've dealt with multiple Smoke users before, and there was one in the third generation who hid his abilities just to extend his time with me.
I dismissed the thought by morning. There was no reason for him—or anyone besides my obsessive brother—to want to be alone with me.
But for a moment… my heart felt warm from the idea.
During the Ritual of Right Rejection, I lost myself. It's another ritual we do to gain power quickly. The Chosen Seven have to willingly offer up a right they're born with, such as the right to love or experience warmth.
I danced around wildly, but soon everything faded to black. When I came to, I saw that only Netalai and Insinz hadn't yet rejected a right and formed a vow. I told the others they could leave, then reminded them that the vow window was only 24 hours each year.
Still, it was good that they were giving it serious thought.
An hour later, Netalai chose his vow and returned to his room.
Once again, I was alone with Insinz.
"Isn't there something… You think you could live without?" I asked. "Cera gave up physical pain—that could be useful."
"Yeah, I won't notice I'm dying until it's too late," he said sarcastically. He'd grown a lot since arriving, now finally in his adolescent phase, but his attitude hadn't changed.
"Well, Raijian gave up lying," I offered.
He scoffed and said,
"No thanks. That sounds inconvenient. I rarely lie, but one day I might need to. I've decided that I want to… lose my sense of taste."
Taste? One of the great pleasures of life…"They never season the food here, and the poison I need to drink every day is so bitter—I'm better off without it."
My heart ached for him. I wish we had more time so I could prepare him a grand feast before he makes such a drastic decision. At least he'd get to enjoy tasting one more time.
"There has to be something you love to eat..." I mumbled, then I thought for a moment and added, "There are still five hours left. Maybe I could get you a treat before you—"
He interrupted me with a kiss on the cheek.
"I've made up my mind," he said, smiling softly, "but thank you."
I touched the spot where he'd kissed me, my blood pounding.
"…Do I have to leave now?" he asked, stroking my cheek, his fingers grazing my scars without hesitation. It was as if he could read my mind... and knew how much he had just flustered me.
"You should go," I said quickly, pulling away.
"Wow… are you blushing? At your age?" he teased.
I covered my face.
"Do not mock me!"
Insinz chuckled, and I peeked through my fingers at him.
"Fine. I'll go,"
There was a faint glow, which marked the completion of his vow. Then he stood and left.
He's flirting... He's definitely flirting with me. What's wrong with him? Is he insane?
That night, I stared at myself in the mirror. With my unruly appearance and visible stitches, I couldn't understand Insinz's motives. He probably just wanted to use me. Whatever he wanted couldn't be good. He was too young for me to feel a genuine attraction. Though it felt good knowing someone didn't see me as a monster.
*
After that, I decided to limit our time together. Even when he claimed not to understand something, I dismissed him and focused on Zai instead. Sometimes the spirit of Lightning within would take over when I was with Zai. Longing for the Chosen tied to its element. I'd watch from within as it interacted with him using my body like a vessel.
It was easier that way—I was too reserved to touch him on my own. But he needed to believe I was on his side… and thinking I loved him was a good way to earn his trust.
Despite his ambition, Zaikel only consented to the first step of the Power Ceremony.
Raijian, on the other hand, insisted on all three. I was the one who invited him, but Raijian… hurt me. It seemed to thrill him. It reminded me of my first few months with his father, and I finally saw the resemblance. He even asked to continue after achieving the pinnacle of power, but thankfully, he gave up after I told him there was nothing beyond the third step.
He frightens me now. Instead of visions of his mother and guilt, I only feel weak and afraid in front of him.
Not much later, Raijian was found being intimate with one of Vetro's concubines, a girl, freshly brought from Infaniya.
It had been months since her arrival, and he hadn't even laid hands on her yet, but he was looking forward to it. So finding out his own son had stolen her virginity infuriated him.
The fight between them escalated so severely that I thought he might kill Raijian. I had to step in. I convinced V to banish him to Earth, instead.
His mood only worsened after that, because it became clear the girl was still attached to Raijian.
I could tell V was seething, though he tried to hide it from me.
The girl was beautiful and almost the spitting image of our mother. Though not as much as me in my prime.
A week after Raijian was banished, someone tried to assassinate V.
The culprit was our head cook. My brother managed to purify the poison before it killed him and beheaded the cook in front of the rest of the staff. To set an example. In the chaos, he forgot to punish Aluma, the cocubine, and left her to rot in the underground dungeon.
It was up to me to bring her meals. I did so quietly, careful not to remind him she existed.
Years passed, and since the Chosen Princes had mastered all the general knowledge I could teach, I began giving one-on-one lessons.
That meant, by default, I started spending time alone with Insinz again.
Most had moved on to specialized training with element experts, but Insinz insisted he still needed me. I thought little of it—his door was always open when we were together, and at least he was sweet to me.
Not like Zai, who only pretended to be kind, or the others, who not-so-secretly hated me.
"So… you understand?" I asked after drawing symbols that he needed to visualize to invoke his skills.
"I have a gift for you." He said, instead of responding to what I asked. He jumped up from his desk and ran to retrieve something from under his bed.
"…You have been practicing, right? Not slacking off?" I chastened.
Then, to my surprise, he presented me with a beautiful black flower, sprinkled with bright purple flecks. As he held it towards me, it completely derailed my train of thought.
"For… me?" I asked in disbelief, gently taking it. "Why?" I added softly.
"I wanted to give you something," he replied with a sweet, carefree attitude.
Tears spilled from my eyes before I could stop them.
"Oh… thank you. It's pretty. But how did you even get this?" I asked while wiping my face.
He held a finger to his lips and grinned.
"It's a secret... I would've brought a bouquet, but one flower was easier to sneak in… I'm glad you like it."
I clutched it to my chest—my new most treasured possession.
I was still lost in the moment when Insinz tore through my thoughts, saying,
"Tana… why haven't you asked me?"
"Asked you what?" I asked, confused.
"To perform the ritual with you," he answered coolly.
My heart leapt. I tried to calm it, but the stubborn thing wouldn't listen.
He pouted, still waiting for my answer.
"It was because… I wasn't sure if you'd… want to," I lied.
The truth was… my feelings toward him were different than what I felt for the others. It wasn't the spirit taking over, making me cling to him, looking for power. It wasn't my desire for revenge against Vetro. It was just… him. I felt warm and comfortable around him... that was dangerous. If I performed the ritual with him, I was terrified my feelings would only deepen.
"I want to," he said with such certainty it flustered me.
This is just a ritual. No feelings involved, I reminded myself.
It'll make him stronger, if he wants to do it, I can't refuse.
"When do we start?" he asked.
He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed my palm, holding eye contact. His gaze, his touch, overwhelmed me. I jumped from my seat.
"I'll tell you later!" I shouted in panic as I clutched the flower to my chest and rushed to the exit.
I clumsily missed the doorway and slammed into the door's frame, face-first. He laughed, making my face burn hotter. I quickly stumbled out in embarrassment.
Once in my room. I pressed the flower into a book. I don't think I can stay impartial with him. I may have real feelings… so we shouldn't do the ritual. I don't know how I can convince him to agree, though.
Later, whenever he brought it up, I selfishly brushed him off and told him to focus. He'd grumble, cross his arms, then eventually go quiet, only demonstrating skills at my request. Not hearing his voice… was lonely.
If I don't do it with him... he might be too weak to fight in the war, but if I can get Vetro overthrown, the war will end. I won't need to worry.
A few months later, during one of my blackouts, I tried to kill V.
When I came to, I had plunged a knife into his heart that I didn't recognize. This knife was covered in a thick black poison. I was on top of him, bare, and he was unclothed under me, yelling,
"Zai? You're doing this for him?!"
... Zai?... I'm not sure what he's talking about. I don't even know how I got here. V yanked the knife from his chest, the poison was harmlessly pushed out from his wound, and the skin weaved itself back together. Then he rolled over and held me down. "You promised me that this wouldn't happen... You promised to never betray me." He muttered, wiping up some of the poison from the blade onto his thumb and forcing it into my mouth.
"Ahh... V ... I'm sorry! Please..." I pleaded, but he ignored my protests, strangling me as the poison spread through my body, and I lost consciousness. It was painful, and I was sure I had died. I've been alive so long, but death suddenly scared me, and it would happen just when I got a glimmer of hope in my life, someone I looked forward to seeing...
An unknown amount of time passed before I finally woke up in my bed. I knew something was wrong immediately—because the soreness in my face was gone. I rushed to the mirror and saw a reflection I hadn't seen in over 10,000 years.
"Are you happy? We finally found a successful way to treat you!" V shouted as he burst into my room with twisted cheerfulness. I scuttled away, hiding under my comforter.
"That boy… the Smoke one—he removed the curse on your face. After all these years of searching for a cure, he figured it out. Isn't it amazing?"
I couldn't focus on what he was saying... another question pressed on me.
"Why am I alive?" I asked in disbelief.
V laughed.
"Oh… are you that surprised? I couldn't stand to kill you—even if you betrayed me. I regretted what happened between us right away, so I called in everyone I could. The Chosen of Smoke can alleviate any toxins; that's how he got the chance to break your curse."
"I didn't betray you! I don't even remember how we got to that point!" I shouted.
He sat beside me on the bed and hugged me tightly.
"Oh yes… it was during one of your episodes. I was quite alarmed. But I know you wouldn't hurt me—not the real you. That's why I called for healers right away," Vetro said soothingly.
I hated having him touch me. Now more than ever.
When he pulled the covers off me, I wanted to disassociate—to forget, like I usually did. I prayed, silently and desperately, that he wasn't lusting after me in that moment.
That prayer went unanswered.
And worse, I remembered everything. Every touch. Every word. Every violation.
It made me sick.
A small part of me used to believe that he truly cared for me. But that part was dead.
He knew I wasn't myself when I attacked him, but he punished me anyway.
He never hesitated to force himself on me whenever he wanted to.
My happiness never mattered to him. I wasn't a person to him—just an obsession. An idol. A doll.
When he finally ran out of stamina and left me alone, I curled into myself and cried—damning my life.
That was when I had another visitor. Unexpected, but far more dangerous to my heart.
Insinz had come to see me.
I felt exposed, ashamed, especially because it was him. He was fully grown now, and the feelings I have for him, which were once mild, are now raging inside me.
I wish he didn't have to see me like this. I wrapped myself in the covers like they were a shield.
"I heard you finally woke up," Insinz said gently.
I bit my lip, trying not to cry.
"Tana… what's wrong?" he asked.
He sat next to me. My heart began to pound uncontrollably. I yearned to pull him close, but I whispered instead,
"I'm fine. You should go."
He sat firm and reached out to stroke my back through the covers.
I jolted from surprise—but didn't pull away.
"I was worried about you… When I heard you almost died… all I could do was regret… that I was never open with you," he muttered. His voice cracked as if he might start crying at any moment.
I pulled the blanket back just enough to peek out at him.
"What do you mean?" I whispered.
Insinz leaned in, cupping my cheeks, and pecked my lips. It was gentle and affectionate. I was too shocked to move.
Then he kissed me again, this time longer, but still tender.
"You're beautiful," he whispered. "You've always been beautiful to me. You wouldn't believe how long I've wanted to kiss you."
My cheeks reddened. A kiss has never made me feel this way.
"Why would you say that?" I whispered. "Why would you want to even look at me? I'm ugly. I'm dirty… I'm a witch. I'm the king's whore. In fact, he was just here. And he—"
Insinz placed his hand on my cheek, gently turning my face toward his. Our eyes locked. The words died on my lips.
"You're not ugly," he said softly. "You never were. I could always see you—the real you. Selfless. Sweet. Delicate. Naive…"
"I don't know if I can agree… I've done so many bad things. I've enabled horrible actions. I don't even know if this version of me is real. You wouldn't believe the things I've done. People have died because of me! I don't know what your game is, or what you want from me, but I have nothing left to give. I'm powerless." I hung my head and lowered my voice before continuing, "So if this is the real me… I hate myself. I'm so painfully aware of everything I've done! I wish I didn't exist!"
I could tell my words shook him, and Insinz reached into the covers to hug me tightly.
"Don't say that," he whispered soothingly. "It's not too late for you, Tana. You're still alive—that means you can make up for what's happened, little by little. And… personally, I'd be really sad if you didn't exist." His voice remained calm, steady, and warm.
My heart fluttered again—those same aching palpitations that always came when he was near. But this time… I didn't run away.
I let myself cry into his arms until exhaustion pulled me into sleep.