"Come on guys, I apologized so many times already," Darek said with a long sigh while kneeling in the middle of the tavern floor. He looked up at the group gathered around him one by one, Lennix, Clarissa, Mari, Karin, and the black knight, all of whom were staring down at him with varying levels of annoyance and distrust. "Besides, Lennix and the black knight already punched me. Do the rest of you seriously want to do that too?"
"Yes," Clarissa answered instantly in her usual flat, emotionless tone.
Darek stared at her in disbelief. "Instant answer!?"
"Don't worry uncle Car- I mean Darek, I don't want to hit you," Mari said as she carefully peeked her head out from behind Clarissa.
Darek immediately pointed at her dramatically. "Ah, Mari's such an angel."
"But," Mari continued innocently, "I don't like you as much as before, and I feel bad for you."
Darek's mouth slowly fell open in horror.
Karin, who had been sitting near one of the tavern tables with one leg crossed over the other, looked down at him coldly. "If we are hitting him, can I kick him?"
"For once I agree with you," Clarissa remarked without changing expression. "A kick would probably be the best thing to do to him right now."
Darek immediately looked between them before quickly turning toward Lennix and the black knight instead, clearly hoping one of them would stop this before it escalated further.
"Don't look at us," Lennix said without a shred of sympathy. "We want to hit you again too."
"And why are you even complaining?" the black knight asked while standing with his arms crossed. "You're The Reluctant Deity. Can't take a kick from two women?"
Darek's shoulders slumped immediately. "Alright, alright, I deserve it, so go ahe—"
He never got to finish the sentence.
Clarissa stepped forward and kicked him in the side of the head hard enough to send him tipping sideways across the floor like someone punting a ball. At almost the exact same time, Karin completely ignored her earlier statement about kicking him and instead grabbed the wooden chair she had been sitting on, lifted it, and smashed it over the back of his head hard enough for the chair to explode into pieces.
"OW! What the hell!?" Darek shouted while clutching his head in pain as splintered wood scattered across the tavern floor. "What is with you all and hitting me mid sentence!?"
He immediately pointed accusingly at Clarissa.
Then he whipped around toward Karin. "And you! You lied! You said you were going to kick me, not break a chair over my head!"
"Oh shut it," Karin replied with an annoyed huff as she casually walked back over and sat down again like nothing had happened. "You deserve all this and more."
"Besides," Clarissa added emotionlessly, "you can survive this much without being seriously hurt. It's fine."
"Easy for you to say when it's not your head getting used to break furniture," Darek muttered while rubbing the back of his skull. He started pushing himself back to his feet only for Lennix to immediately point downward.
"Nah, stay kneeling. Added punishment."
Darek slowly looked at him with visible disappointment before sighing and lowering himself back down onto his knees again in defeat.
"Now that all that's over for the moment," the black knight said while shifting his stance slightly, "how about you explain why you're actually here?"
Darek wiped blood away from the side of his face before letting out another sigh. "That, huh?" he muttered. "Well… you all remember the Noble you fought a while back?"
"It's kind of hard to forget that," Lennix answered immediately. "So yeah, we remember."
Mari tilted her head curiously. "Was that the person uncle Lennix and uncle knight fought in the swamp?"
"Yes," Clarissa answered before either of them could reply. "The one they needed my help to beat."
The black knight let out a tired sigh at that reminder before looking back at Darek. "So that's what this is, huh? They sent you to spy on us because we managed to beat one of your Nobles?"
"Actually," Darek admitted awkwardly, "they sent me to kill you."
The tavern went silent.
"But," he quickly added while forcing an awkward smile onto his face, "I didn't do that, so… that has to count for something, right?"
"I mean…" Lennix rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Kind of? But not by much."
"Okay," the black knight said slowly, "so your orders changed nothing. You didn't kill us, and you didn't even let us die during the battle." He shifted slightly and narrowed his eyes. "So what now?"
Darek shrugged. "I'll just tell them I was too busy dealing with the demons to handle you guys properly. That should work well enough." He paused briefly before adding, "And yeah, that means I'll probably be leaving once all this is over."
The group went quiet for a moment after hearing that.
"I mean, I want to say 'great, we won't miss you,'" Lennix admitted while glancing at everyone else, "but that'd actually be a lie."
"Kind of agree," the black knight said.
"Of course you two agree with one another," Clarissa replied flatly.
Mari suddenly perked up as an idea seemed to hit her. "I have an idea!" she proclaimed enthusiastically.
Everyone turned toward her.
"And what's that, Mari?" Lennix asked.
Mari smiled sweetly before casually saying, "Let's put uncle Darek into debt!"