Becky knew more now, and she knew that Tina would be a lot better off if she had her along with her. But it was not like she could just ask her to let her come and join her. Becky thought that if there was a good enough reason, maybe Tina would invite her. Although she knew that Tina's mom was wanting her to say where Tina was and where she was going.
Tina had told Becky that she didn't want her to tell her mom where she was or where she was going. So that meant even if Tina would let her come, she couldn't tell Tina's mom where she was going either. Becky thought that it was just going to be better if she didn't talk to her at all. That way Tina's mom wouldn't be able to ask her if she knew where Tina was or where she was going. Based on the fact that was mostly what Tina's mom was after, at least that was what Becky was feeling. The thing was that Tina's mom would probably be relieved to hear that she had talked to Tina and that she is well and doing okay.
Becky became confused about what she was going to do. She just wanted not to be in the middle of all this. But for Tina's sake, she knew that it was better than Tina's mom was talking to her instead of Tina.
Becky thought if she just waits to talk to Tina's mom until her mom calls her then maybe Tina will be ready for her to know where she was. Although it didn't sound like Tina was ever going to tell her mom where she was going.
Becky hadn't even finished thinking things through and she knew that Tina was still on the phone, but Becky could tell that Tina was really torn up about everything. Becky knew that talking to her was not helping, and Tina was more than ready to be done with the call. When the phone in her hand started buzzing, letting her know that there was another call.
Becky said, "Hold on a minute so I can get rid of the person calling."
Then Tina decided to cut it short so that she could get back on the road and do some driving.
Tina said, "I will just call you back later, bye."
Before Becky could even look down at her phone and see just who was calling. Once she saw the number, she wished that she had not even said anything to Tina about getting rid of them, that way she would not have had to talk to her mom. Becky looked down at her phone and wondered just what she was going to say to her. She thought she could just answer her questions except for where Tina was. Or she could just come out with it and tell her that Tina didn't want her to know. She knew that would be hard for Tina's mom to hear but it was the truth. There was something that they both wanted to know, and she would have to ask Tina's mom, who the guys were that came with her to her house.
Becky hesitated long enough that Tina's mom hung up. It was too late to call Tina back. Becky had heard how much talking about everything had worn Tina down, and she was not about to call her and make it any worse she knew that Tina would call her back when she was ready.
Becky started to wonder if anyone else knew the secret that Tina had shared with her. She knew just how private Tina was and the fact that it took her that long to share some of the things that happened to her made her sad. Especially knowing how much pain she had been in for so long. It was not like she had not seen parts of it but when she thought about her dealing with it all that time it was too much to handle. As Becky thought about it, she thought that there would only be just a few that Tina was going to share something so personal, and she was glad that Tina trusted her enough to share it with her.
Becky looked down at her phone and thought that she could call Tina's mom back, but she really didn't want to talk to her. So, she was just going to wait for Tina's mom to call her back. The way that Becky felt the longer it took the better it was. Becky wanted to call others to talk about everything that Tina had told her, but she knew that it was for Tina to decide the people she wanted to share her secrets with. Becky was dying to talk with someone about all this but the only ones that she was sure knew the secret was Tina and her mom. The one she couldn't call and the other she really didn't want to talk to, and if she did talk to her, it was not like she was going to be able to say anything that Tina had shared with her.
Becky decided she was just going to put the phone down and try to think of something else. After all, she needed to try and figure out a way that she could get Tina to invite her along with her. Becky knew that there had to be at least a few reasons that Tina didn't want her along with her, and more than a few that she would. So, all she had to do was get Tina to see that the reasons that she didn't want her along didn't matter anymore, or the reasons she wanted her there were important enough to have her come anyway.
The biggest reason had to be the fact that she had a boyfriend whom she was planning on going away to college with. Becky could tell just how sad that the death of her own boyfriend had added to the loss of her dad and now her mom too. There was no doubt in her mind that she would have wanted them both along for the trip and that was if she was only planning on this being a trip instead of her just going away forever.
Until now that thought had not even crossed her mind, what if she was just planning on moving away after all it was not like there was anything that was holding her there.
A cold chill ran down her spine at the thought of her never coming back. Becky had planned that she was going away for college, but she figured that even if she and her boyfriend got married that they would still move back to town so that they all could be close. As she thought more about it, she knew that she was not being realistic, it was not like they were all going to stay close even if they were lucky enough to remain friends. But that didn't mean that they couldn't take this time to be together and help her get through the tough time and maybe even have a little fun before college started.
Becky and her boyfriend had already planned on taking the summer off and he had plans of hanging out with his friends playing games online. So, it was not going to really matter to him for the most part if she was there or not. All he was going to do was ignore her as he battled online with the guys.
Becky knew that she was going to have to tell Tina how lonely she was getting with her boyfriend ignoring her and just playing games all the time. It was not like this was the first time that he had done things like this but at times it had gotten worse than others. Becky usually would turn to her friends when he would get like this, and Tina was the one that she would spend most of her time with.
Becky tried to think of any other reasons that she would not want her around and all she could think of was the sadness that she would be feeling. It seemed like she would be more motivated to have someone there to help her with the loneliness that she was going through. Then she started thinking what if it was not just sadness that she was feeling what if she was thinking of killing herself?
Tina had never said anything like that before, but Becky knew that she had been sad a lot of the way that her mom was. It seemed like when she started seeing Ken all that mostly changed but now without him could her mom be right could she be thinking of hurting herself or worse? Becky thought that she would have to talk to Tina, she wouldn't just go off and do something like that. Becky didn't think that Tina would ever try something like that, but Tina was going through the worst time she had ever had to go through and was feeling more sadness than she had ever had before. Becky knew she would have to find a way to talk to her about it just to make sure.
Becky knew that all this would be so hard for her to deal with she was just not understanding why she left the only ones that were truly there for her now. Was she turning away from her friends? Becky started to wonder if she was just seeing things that were not there and the only way that she was going to get this all straight was for Tina to tell her the truth about how she was doing.
Becky had herself crying at this point, she was feeling so helpless and all she wanted to do was just call Tina and tell her that she was going to meet her somewhere so that they could travel together. She knew that this just was not helping her to figure everything out, but she knew no matter how sad she was feeling that Tina had to be feeling far worse and she just wanted to be with her to help her through it.
For the life of her, she couldn't figure out any other reason that Tina would not want her to come along other than her boyfriend and she had to admit that at times he got on her nerves too.
Becky knew that she was going to have to do some more thinking about this to come up with a way to ask Tina or convince her that she needed her to come along with her enough to have Tina ask her to come.
Becky went down to breakfast thinking that if she got something to eat maybe that would help her think of something. Becky thought that she really should not need that much convincing to have her come along. After all, being alone all the time just had to be making the sadness that she was going through all the worse. She knew if that was her that she would want someone around all the time, that is if she could even get out of bed.
Becky thought that the most that she had ever experienced was the loss of a pet dog. Even though it was rough to get through because she was very young. It still was not like the loss of a parent let alone finding out that she had lost both her parents and her boyfriend at the same time. Becky knew that Tina had to be struggling just to get through each day. Becky looked at her mom and dad sitting at the table and all she could think was that she was so glad that they were both still there. She could tell how much they loved her, and even if they did things that annoyed her, and got under her skin. Like when they would do things trying to stop her from growing up too fast.
Becky went over and gave them both a big hug. That took them both by surprise but seeing the sad look on her face they knew that it all had to be related to the things going on with Tina.
Beth asked, "Are you okay?"
Becky just held on to her tightly as the tears ran down her face.
Beth hugged her tightly and ran her hand down her hair and said, "It will be okay. Have you heard anything from Tina Yet?"
Becky looked up at her and was not sure what she should tell her and exactly how much. Becky said, "Yea. She gave me a call this morning and said that she was okay, but she sounded really sad and like she was having a hard time dealing with it all even though she said that she wasn't."
Luke said, "She probably doesn't want you to worry about her. "
Becky thought I knew that, and it really doesn't help Dad. Becky said, "We need to help her."
They both thought of Tina as a second daughter since she was there so much and wanted to help but were unsure what they could do. Beth held her tighter for a long moment as they looked at each other hoping that the other would have something that they could say would give Becky some comfort. Luke gave her a shrug, like what do you want me to say. Beth thought gee thanks for the help but she had no idea of what to do either.
Beth said, "Baby sometimes there is just nothing you can do but be there for them when they are hurting. No matter how much you want to do something there is just nothing that can be done, but hold them, and give them comfort."
Becky let the tears flow freely, feeling even more helpless than she had been feeling before. Beth felt the tears running down her chest. They were proud that they had raised such a loving, caring, and giving child as she was. But they were sad knowing that she was feeling all this pain now because she was that loving and had formed such a strong attachment to Tina.
Beth held her tight showing her that she was there to help, if and whenever she needed them. Becky drew comfort from them being there, but it still made her sad, realizing that Tina would never be able to get this from her parents again. Becky felt confused at that point about how she should try to help Tina with her mom. She knew that there was a lot of bad blood between them from the way that Tina's mom had treated her. But they were still related, and Tina's mom was acting like she wanted to make amends. Tina's mom really owed Tina a lot from the way that she had treated her, her whole life.
Becky found that she was mad at Tina's mom, and it was more than just the way that she had treated her. It was not so much that she had lied to her about her real mom. It was mostly that she had not even bothered to give her the love that an aunt would have given her. She had to have known that her real mom would have wanted Tina to feel the love that she was going to give her.
Beth looked down at her and asked, "Would you like me to fix you some breakfast?"
Becky nodded thinking how much she loved it when her mom cooked for her. Beth started pulling away so that she could start cooking but she felt that Becky was holding on like she did not want to let her go. Becky was feeling like she used to when she was young and the hugs that she got always made her feel so much better no matter what was wrong before.
As they separated Becky's phone started going off and as she looked down, she saw it was the call that she knew she was going to be getting but was not wanting to answer.