Your music has always comforted me, through hardships, pain and heartbreak. In the dark where my demons and my depression prowl. They are all waiting for a misstep, but you are there with me.
999
***
Shortly afterward, the scientists ran new tests on him, while Juda had been taken to the hospital. His condition was apparently critical, according to the doctors treating him.
"It's impossible!" said a doubtful scientist.
This time, the marker was there: the DNA marker showing that Kevin was awakened, the R gene.
"Bring the evaluation machine immediately," a scientist ordered.
They placed his hand on the machine to determine his rank, but the machine struggled to assign him one. Apparently, his mana was so weak that the machine couldn't detect it.
It was a first in history: he was assigned rank 11, the worst of all, since the awakened were generally ranked from 0 to 10. And rank 11 had just been invented—a garbage rank, that was how you could describe it. The scientists seemed disappointed; they left him and conferred to decide what to do next, which was to resume the next day.
The next day, however, while they were running tests on him, a woman came through the door, accompanied by soldiers. That woman was Hélène, the scientist who had always felt remorse.
"The experiments end here!" she declared.
"What do you think you're doing, Hélène? You have no idea what you're doing!" a scientist shouted.
"Yes, I'm perfectly aware, and I've also made your little experiments public," Hélène retorted.
"You did what?" one of them asked warily.
"You heard me. This child is going back to his parents, to the people who love him," Hélène declared.
Indeed, Hélène felt so bad that she couldn't accept this child's fate, because she saw her own son in Kevin. In her colleagues' blind obedience, she had recognized the Milgram experiment she had studied at university, and she didn't want to be one of its guinea pigs. She had secretly retrieved the videos of the experiments and then released them.
In the aftermath, public opinion could of course only be shocked by the violence of the experiments. Anger quickly set in: the child who was supposed to be kept safe had in fact been tortured. At first, the media tried to avoid the debate, but they were backed into a corner. They ended up taking the side of the family that had been tormented. Many people also changed their tune, saying that Kevin should never have been taken from his family.
Everything quickly fell into place, and the government and politicians had to step in. After all, their own reputations were at stake: all the scientists were arrested and charges were brought. However, there was a dark underside to this story. Who had given the orders? How could such a thing have happened? The media avoided the subject, and the questions were hushed up.
Finally, Kevin was brought home after more than a year of separation and torture. His mother and Marie were waiting for him on the doorstep; he ran toward them as fast as he could, and they hugged him as tightly as they could.
"Oh, Kevin, my God, we missed you so much!"
His mother's and sister's hearts swelled with happiness at seeing him again, but they also ached at seeing his beautiful caramel skin turned pale, a witness to the year of torment he had endured. Their reunion was one of joy and tears.
Where can we be better off than with our family, when that family loves us?
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POV Kevin
Shortly after my return, my parents made a radical decision: to leave Lyon. As long as we stayed there, journalists would camp outside our door and every passerby would recognize me in the street. My mother requested a transfer and got one to Saint-Laurent-du-Maroni, in French Guiana, a small town on the banks of the Maroni River where part of her family lived. So, more than seven thousand kilometers from everything we had been through, we started our life over: the humid heat, the sudden rains, the immense river and the forest as far as the eye could see. Nobody here really knew our faces, and that was exactly what we were looking for.
Far from Lyon and the cameras, time passed, and the media eventually stopped talking about us. My nightmares were still there, but at least I had my family to face them. After a year at home, taught by my mother, I had managed to overcome my nighttime episodes and I wanted to go back to school. Since I wanted to get back to a normal life, I started middle school, and very quickly I came face-to-face with cruelty again.
"Hey, walking dead! You look paler than usual."
"…"
"Hey, I'm talking to you!" he insisted.
The walking dead was the nickname I had been given because of my extremely pale complexion and my frail build. That boy had no idea what I had been through; some knew, but they persecuted me anyway.
Middle school years were extremely violent, with a bunch of little punks who thought they were the center of the world. There were the popular kids, at the very top of the hierarchy, and then everyone else. I was persecuted because I didn't fit into that category, the target of mockery and teasing that later turned into bullying.
Honestly, it was nothing compared to what I had been through, but psychological harassment is as destructive as physical pain. Life is a big game made of suffering and joy, but I preferred to focus on the joy. Because I had known far too much suffering, and I told myself that many people would want to be in my place.
I have a family, a roof over my head, a home; some people don't have a quarter of what I have, so I tried to keep things in perspective as best I could. Unfortunately, the further I went, the more I realized that man was an abject creature. I had understood that long ago, but I kept discovering new facets of it. The strong love to oppress the weak, because it gives them a feeling of power and superiority that flatters their ego.
I quickly became the punching bag; I had already been beaten up several times. Why? The reason is simple: I couldn't defend myself, and the weak are destined to be oppressed.
"Hey, zombie, I saw you talking to my girlfriend!"
"I was just helping her with her homework."
"Oh really? That's not what she told me."
"I…"
That day, I got beaten up again. The worst part was going home and having to explain why I was in that state.
"Big brother, who did this to you?" Marie asked, horrified.
"It's nothing, don't worry."
My mother always wanted me to stay home instead of going to school. But I wanted to live a normal life despite everything, hence my stubbornness in enduring this treatment. And despite my mother's complaints, those who did this to me only got a few days of suspension, which only made the situation worse.
Man is a social animal; he needs to mix with others to flourish. He needs friends and above all love, but my love life was nothing but a long agony during those years. I tasted not physical pain, but, for the first time, the pain of the heart. Those emotional wounds left indelible marks on my heart.
Cheating, lies, empty promises: I discovered the troubles and pains of love.
Have you ever fallen madly in love with someone?
Who promised to give you the world?
I really hope they didn't let you down.
I really hope they weren't lying.
Because when the heart breaks, it's as if the world has disappeared. Juice Wrld
Every disappointment, every betrayal hurt me deeply, so much so that at one point I began to hate women. I hated them from the depths of my being: some don't hesitate to lie to you and manipulate you. The last one I went out with cheated on me with the coolest guy in the class.
I still see your shadow in my room.
I can't take back the love I gave you.
It's to the point where I love and hate you.
And I can't change you, so I have to replace you, oh.
Easier said than done, I thought you were the one.
Listening to my heart instead of my head.
You found another one, but I am better than him.
I won't let you forget me. Juice WRLD.
The one before that lied to me, telling me "I love you" for five months before leaving me for someone else. What's the point of saying "I love you" if it's a lie?
Tell me, what is the secret to love? I don't get it, I feel like I'm running a race that I can't win. Today, I met the Devil, and she was smiling. Juice WRLD.
The one before that was the one I lost my virginity to. I introduced her to my mother, but it turned out she was just an easy girl who slept with every boy she could. And I had introduced a slut like that to my mother; I was so ashamed.
Mmh, they are poisoning my mind, my love.
These hoes are all the same. Juice WRLD.
I always did my best to give the best of myself, to be kind even to the worst bastards. The very ones who mistreated me and used me, which left me struggling to trust others.
I saw kids barely 15 years old look each other straight in the eye, lie to each other, manipulate each other, talk behind a friend's back, and then play the person of integrity in their presence.
I hate when people play both sides.
So sad in my life.
I have to stay high, I have to stay high. Juice WRLD.
I saw girls bounce from one guy's bed to the next for who knows what reason, and then play the pure, saintly girl. The worst part is that all these people were going to grow up and become adults who would be part of society.
For my own mental health, I decided to cut myself off from all that and keep to myself, because it's better to be alone than in bad company. It lasted for the rest of my middle school years, until my final year, when providence finally sent me someone: my first real friend, Arthur.
"Hey, what's your name?"
"…"
"Come on."
I kept pushing him away for a whole month, but he persevered anyway.
"What do you want from me?"
"Nothing, it's just that you're like me."
"Like you?"
"You were bullied, and much worse than that, miracle child. Now you struggle with human relationships. Am I wrong?"
"So, what are you getting at?"
"Let's become friends, you and me. Let's build a bond that none of those jerks will ever have, with their fake friendships and their hypocrisy. A friendship everyone would want, but that they could never reach."
It's true, people are hypocrites; they lie to each other's faces, they betray each other. They try to harm others if those others are better than them or overshadow them.
"So?"
Those words were so simple, so true. For the first time, I felt honesty and kindness. I decided to give him a chance.
"Let's try, you and me."
So he held out his fist to me with a dazzling smile.
"Friends?"
And I responded in turn, holding out my arm so that our two fists touched.
"Friends."
I wondered what life had in store for me after that; these were just the sad experiences of a guy who only wanted a life without trouble, always looking for someone to love and someone who would love him back, whether in friendship or in love. But for now, love was something that had broken me so badly, in less than three years.
"However, even if it's just one person, go for it and find someone unique so that they become your one and only. But for now, all of this is just an admission of failure and a life full of hardship and indelible pain."
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"I hope everyone is having a good day. I hope everyone accomplished something significant. Even if you haven't accomplished something significant, don't get discouraged. Try to accomplish something significant tomorrow... and the day after that... and so on. If someone is going through something, I hope and pray that you get through it. And know that you have the strength to get through whatever you're going through, no matter what it is."
RIPJUICE WRLD / 1998-2019
999