Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works; all other characters and worlds belong to their respective owners. I'm just playing with them.
Betad by Priapus, Beans, Mike God of Lore,
Guild of Gamers: The Card Master
Chapter 08: Cauldron
— Charles 'Charlie' Barnes (Corvo) —
"It's so unfair," Missy says, again. I, being an expert in dealing with women, do not mention that this is the seventh time in the last hour she's brought up my costume as she stares at it in disbelief. "And now you have a dragon as well! You're going to look so much cooler than me, and I'll just look like an even bigger mascot in comparison."
As she speaks, her eyes flicker to the pair of twin elves standing over by the researchers. They don't have names yet, because 'our master hasn't named us', but they are very sapient and intelligent. Perhaps more importantly, they're also incredibly sexy in deep cut green dresses and something tells me that Missy is more threatened by them than the dragon. Both are over six feet tall, looking like supermodels armed with big-ass weapons.
She's short, dressed childishly, is infamously not permitted any kind of weapon, and is desperate to look mature. Having a pair of drop dead sexy Elven warriors hanging around the Wards isn't great for her self esteem and image.
As it turns out, the PR team kinda loves the idea of the good guys having their own hot twins to counter Fenja and Menja. Plus our own dragon to counter Lung, because as scummy as the sex trafficking rage dragon is, dragons remain cool. He unironically has fanboys despite all his crimes.
Evidently the rule of cool applies even to serial rapists/murderers. Then Glenn told me that Jack Fucking Slash has fans as well which truly killed what little faith in humanity I still had despite being the son of a divorce lawyer.
…I doubt Missy would be pleased to know that she's giving off some incredible little sister energy. Me and Emma are constantly at war over who the 'big' sibling is and Anne babies us both. Maybe that's why my instincts are demanding I help the sulking little girl.
"That rough, huh?" I ask, leaning against the wall as I watch my dragon go through the tests. As a green dragon, it has poison breath rather than the cliche fire breath, but realistically it's going to be a rarity for me to actually get to use him in combat. PRT rules on excessive force are pretty clear and having a giant dragon maul or poison them definitely counts.
"Ugh. Yeah," Missy scowls cutely. "Every meeting I have with the PR guys goes nowhere. 'Oh, you can't update your costume Missy, the next season's merchandise has already been prepared. You can't update your look right now, your current look is polling too well.' They have a different excuse every time. I didn't really mind Shadow's because let's be honest, the stupid hockey mask look is just edgy, not cool. But your outfit is badass and you get your cane. I've heard they're going to make it a taser so you have a close range defence option. It feels bullshit that I've been begging for a nicer outfit or a weapon for ages then you come along and get it in the first week."
Yeah, they did mention my cane. Originally it was just for style purposes, with a silver Raven skull as the handle. Apparently they stole the idea from some dude called Regent who has a taser sceptre. He's a petty criminal, bottom of the barrel villain. Mine is going to be so much better.
Armsmaster is making it, and I get the feeling this is a 'Armsmaster wants my buffs enough to spend the time on it' angle.
Trollhide has proven very popular. It has the side effect of turning the target green and thicker-skinned, but it is a powerful regeneration effect. Limbs? Regrown in minutes. Paralysed spine? No problem at all. It doesn't really do anything for diseases, but any wounds are closed up in seconds and the increased toughness gives anyone under the effect a decent Brute rating.
But beyond just healing, it also makes the target much stronger physically. Plus the mere fact that my 'deck' has access to healing has excited the PR guys. Plus, 99% of the injuries that the PRT has to deal with are the kind of shit that Trollhide regen can fix.
I can't cure cancer, but if you get maimed by Hookwolf, I can fix you right up (as long as you don't fucking die). But that leads to a second thing. I can cast through my summons. Unlike Panacea, I don't have to physically be there to do my job.
So ideally, my summons need to be spread out rather than all with me, to increase my range. Maintaining them costs barely anything compared to summoning them, so I just keep them all out and ensure they are carefully placed so I can 'be' anywhere in an instant.
And one of the ways they suggested we work toward that is for me to 'loan' monsters to my fellow heroes. They were very clear that it was entirely my choice, and that I could take them back whenever I wanted. They definitely treat me with kid gloves, not wanting to take any choices out of my hands and risk alienating me more than Dad already has.
"So, how much would you owe me if I could fix that?" I ask with a lazy smirk. She freezes, giving me an intense stare.
"Just about whatever the hell you wanted," Missy replies, looking around conspiratorially as if Glenn Chambers himself is hiding in the rafters, listening to us so he can stop our scheme. I'm pretty sure I could convince her that he's an Empire plant in like thirty seconds. "What are you planning?"
"The PRT wants me to partner some of my monsters with other heroes, basically it's a whole thing about spreading them out so I can cast through them easier. Obviously, for PR reasons, it works best if I partner monsters that match the heroes' costumes, right?" I ask rhetorically. "You're green, my new scaly friend is green…"
"Would they allow that?" Missy asks, her voice in hushed awe.
"They've told me, repeatedly, that the choice is 100% mine. Turns out when you have bullshit like mine, people let you get away with a lot of shit," I say with a snort. "And, unless Sophia lied, you got hurt by Hookwolf right?"
"Ugh, how does she even know about that?" Missy complains. "It wasn't a big deal, I stitched it myself and-"
"Missy, you're thinking about this all wrong. I know you don't like the Youth Guard but you were damaged through your outfit. Part of the Youth Guard charter insists that Wards have appropriately protective outfits, yours is basically a dress with plastic armour," I say, waving her off. "The PR guys can ignore you, if your parents aren't supporting your arguments. They cannot ignore your Youth Guard rep. I know it sucks, but as the son of a lawyer, use the everloving shit out of the rules to get what you need. Youth Guard aren't going away either way, might as well make them work in your favour just a little. We do this, at the same time, and getting you a scaled armour costume to go along with the dragon you'll be partnered with won't even be a challenge."
Missy opens her mouth to respond before closing it again, thinking to herself. I can see the distaste on her face at the idea of working with Youth Guard but it is warring with the hope that she could finally get what she wants so deeply.
"Ugh, they'll treat me like a child if they find out I got cut up," Missy groans.
"They already do, and that won't change. Youth Guard is Youth Guard. Nothing is going to change that," I point out. "At worst, you get a slap on the wrist for hiding your injury. Some console duty, only… you're partnered up with a motherfucking dragon. If they want the dragon in action, they need you in action."
"Why are you helping me?" Missy asks, remembering to be paranoid. I think that the fact that I'm on good terms with Sophia is, by itself, reason to mistrust me.
"Why not? It costs me fuck all. It shows the PRT that I'm willing to play along with their little plan to spread out my monsters, but keeps the first one in the Wards and makes them play the game my way at the same time," I shrug. "Besides, you're one of the most experienced and powerful Wards. I am not above kissing the asses of my seniors. Us lawyer kids have no shame, brownnosing is an essential life skill, after all."
Missy snorts at that, getting it under control.
"You're not really sold on this, are you?" Missy asks.
"Not really. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to do my best to succeed here. I'm mostly just being petty about Dad taking the choice out of my hands and making things mildly difficult for everyone out of spite," I admit shamelessly.
"…which Youth Guard regulation do I need?" Missy asks, blinking in surprise as I pull out the Youth Guard handbook, which I suspect that she has refused to even consider reading.
"Behold the skills of the son of a lawyer," I tease. "I refuse to be involved in any contracts I don't know inside and out. Devoured this, the Ward charter and rules, and I'm working through the PRT and Protectorate rules as well."
Showing her the part that affects her situation, I grin at the excitement in her eyes. She's practically bouncing in a matter of minutes as I coach her through how best to approach this.
"Corvo?" a firm voice asks, distracting us from our scheming as I turn. Missy squeals first, seeing fucking Alexandria hovering in front of us.
"That's me, and you need no introduction," I greet with a nod. So Contessa delivered. "What brings you to our neck of the woods?"
"Your powers are a force multiplier. The Chief Director was curious how they would empower the strongest capes. I decided to visit in person to test that out," Alexandria says calmly. "I had some rare free time, in a stroke of good Fortune."
Fortuna, more like.
"Works for me. Better to find out now than in whatever disaster would have us meeting otherwise," I agree, my heart pounding.
Before she can respond, one of the power nerds runs over to babble to her about my dragon. They didn't expect him to be sapient and capable of human speech, but they're working hard to ensure that my minions are seen as projections, even the intelligent ones. They don't want accusations of me mastering intelligent creatures.
All my summons are fanatically loyal to me, from their questioning.
The quick burst testing doesn't reveal much. Giving Alexandria Ghostform is mildly terrifying, since giving the Flying Brick herself the ability to just ignore physics entirely on a whim is certainly a move. Arcane Flight is kinda worthless to her, but Trollhide proved…
Well, we didn't exactly anticipate it ignoring her locked body and just forcibly regrowing her eye. It's becoming clear that my powers don't really give a damn about how powers should work and the testing was paused because even a Triumvirate member can be caught by surprise by suddenly regaining the eye Siberian plucked out.
Also, we did at the very least confirm that my powers scale funny. The bonus to her strength that Alexandria gets from Trollhide is laughably more than what I get. It increases based on a percentage, not a set increase. That's very good to know.
I get the feeling me and the Power Testing nerd squad are gonna be besties by the end of this. Apparently they had their funding increased because the PRT is anticipating needing to test new shit regularly with me.
As the testing comes to a pause, my attempt to get a drink results in me being cornered by fucking Alexandria.
"Time to pay the piper?" I quip smoothly, getting just a hint of a smile from the stern woman.
"You've decided, then?" Alexandria asks. "This room has no surveillance, and nobody will overhear us."
"More or less. I decided that I'd go with her plan, if she was right and you showed up today. She put her money where her mouth is. I'm in," I say. "How'd you want to do this? You realise that I'll be able to see through Piper's eyes?"
"Contessa believes it's worth it. She's rarely wrong," Alexandria replies, watching me pull out the black framed card. Calling on my black mana, I push it into the card and watch as it flashes and the hooded man appears in the small room Alexandria sequestered me away in.
"You called for me, Planeswalker?" he says in a low, raspy voice. "Which tune should I play?"
"Piper, I want you to take orders from Alexandria and Contessa as long as they do not threaten me," I say, watching as a 'door' opens and Fortuna steps through in her immaculate pinstripe suit and fedora. "Is that satisfactory?"
"It is. Welcome to the conspiracy, Corvo," Contessa agrees with a crooked grin.
"Your will be done, Planeswalker. My tune and servants are at their command," Piper agrees with a dramatic bow.
"Follow me, we have work to do," Contessa orders, turning and walking away as Piper follows behind, the door closing and all traces, and evidence, removed.
"Always wanted to join a secret society. Do we get cool matching pins?" I ask, mostly just snarking to get rid of my stress.
"That would rather defeat the secret part of secret society," Alexandria responds with a soft huff. "You get the knowledge that you're part of a select few holding society together by the splitting seams. It's not particularly nice. That said, it does come with some benefits. You want Vista to get her dragon rider outfit? I'll see it done. Green scaled armour and maybe a small lance or something similar. The fact that we're re-debuting a rather famous Ward because of you will only increase the hype around Corvo. Vista will know it is only happening because of you. Still, we should return to the testing. Any longer and it'll look suspicious rather than odd."
"Heh. Guess I'm Missy's new best friend," I chuckle, following her out.
Feat Achieved, Join Cauldron. Artefact card granted
[Concession Stand]
Any target who visits this artefact is granted a Food token. Sacrificing (eating) the Food token heals the user.
'Eating here is always a concession.'
"Corvo?" Alexandria asks, seeing me zone out.
"What- oh, sorry. Just got another healing card," I explain, seeing her eyebrows raise. "So, uhh, I don't suppose we have room to put down a giant theme park burger stand?"
— Rebecca Costa-Brown (Alexandria) —
Returning to Cauldron's base, she saw the rest were already waiting for her. Contessa looked entirely too pleased with herself for someone who was often borderline emotionless and Doctor Mother seemed mildly irritated. Contessa had done all this without bothering to tell the rest of them, after all, and Doctor Mother didn't appreciate being left in the dark.
"I take it the Concession Stand went well?" Contessa asked, and Rebecca wasn't even mildly surprised at her already knowing about the card he'd gotten after she'd left.
"It did. As ridiculous as it sounds, the food from the menu possesses powerful healing capabilities. Not enough to save someone on the brink of death, but nothing stops someone from just leaving and revisiting the stand. In addition, the food seems to be infinite," Rebecca agreed. "And unlike his Lands, this is an Artefact and he can summon it to wherever he needs it."
"You're thinking about Endbringer fights," Number Man said simply.
"The food doesn't have to be eaten immediately. If everyone who attended the fight visited beforehand, they'd all have healing food in their back pocket ready to be used when needed. It won't save people who get killed too quickly, but it should lessen the deaths from people who weren't able to get back to the medical tents in time," Rebecca agreed.
David said nothing, arms crossed and a frown on his face. His mask technically hid it but she knew him well enough to know he was scowling.
"Buy the land and have him open it up on the Boardwalk. Corvo wants the fame and praise, even if he doesn't think he does, and his healing might be weaker than Panacea's, but it blows her out of the water in quantity," Contessa ordered. Rebecca nodded, seeing the benefit. Corvo didn't need to be anywhere near the stand after he placed it down. He could basically drop down a healing fast food restaurant and leave it until he had need for it. No need to individually heal every single person himself.
"I do hope all this is going to be worth it. You're putting a lot of resources into Corvo, Contessa, with no real explanation," Doctor Mother spoke up, her tone clipped.
"Do you know what I did after leaving the Rig?" Contessa asked simply, knowing none of them had the answer. "I mastered Mama Mathers, Heartbreaker, Nilbog and Ash Beast. Before, the Path to handling any of them was hundreds, if not thousands, of steps long. In the case of Mama Mathers, it was too long to be viable. With Piper of the Swarm, the Path was four steps. Open a Door to a place with enough rats, open a door to the target, have Piper use his ability to master a target, close the doors."
They all went quiet, as she realised that whatever they were paying Corvo, it probably wasn't enough. Mama Mathers was a particularly satisfying one, a Cauldron client who had gained more power than intended and became unruly. With her under control, the Fallen would be far easier to handle.
"So, yes. I am spending a relatively large amount of resources on my Path to recruit Corvo. He's already paid us back tenfold. Four of the most dangerous capes in the world, brought entirely under Cauldron's control in… about six minutes total. My path to gain control of Sleeper is a fair bit longer but now far, far easier," Contessa continued. "And that is with a single card. So yes, I am certain that this is the correct path. I don't know if he has our silver bullet somewhere in that deck, but I know that delaying the collapse of society, and reestablishing it once, or more specifically if, it all falls to pieces is going to be far easier with Corvo on our side."
"Can you Path him properly?" Doctor Mother asked.
"Yes. I doubt it will remain that way, he's bound to get an anti-thinker power eventually given the sheer variety of his cards and the cards he's already drawn have the ability to no-sell most powers. I can't predict what cards he will draw, but I can Path them after he gets them," Contessa explained. "Which is why we need him on our side before he becomes a Blindspot. As that could be tomorrow or in a month, I intend to ensure he is on our side as soon as possible."
"Could his master ability work on the Endbringers?" Rebecca wondered.
"Unknown. Piper doesn't, but that is simply because their true weight far exceeds the amount of rats we have access to. Alexandria, I want you to work on ensuring that he will attend the next Endbringer battle. Seeing how his other cards work on them will provide valuable insight on how any plan to control the Endbringers will go," Contessa explained.
"The Simurgh should be next, in around a month," Doctor Mother pointed out.
"Unlikely, to be blunt. Or, to be more precise, unlikely that Corvo can pose a threat to them. As he doesn't have Thinker protection, she can almost certainly see him as well as Contessa can. Though I suppose it'll be just as good information if another Endbringer attacks instead of her," Number Man pointed out. True. If the Simurgh broke the usual patterns, it'd be a sign that they were onto something.
Contessa not being worried about Corvo becoming a blindspot made sense as well. They needed him to be hidden from Thinkers.
"What about Coil? Our non-interference in Brockton Bay is well and truly shot," David pointed out.
"We can reassign him to another city-" Doctor Mother started, but Contessa cut her off.
"Unnecessary. Corvo's power grows from his actions. If we clear the board entirely, we stifle his growth. Let the snake do his thing," Contessa said plainly. "He's already received word of my presence, and learnt that killing or kidnapping Corvo will result in his death. Any attempted timeline where he tries it, I show up and kill him in increasingly painful ways. Arrogance aside, Coil is no fool. He knows we value Corvo more than him and will adjust accordingly."
It still rather defeated the point of this experiment but Contessa was almost certainly right. Coil was not dangerous enough to be worth worrying about and he'd give them another asset near Corvo.
— Charles Barnes (Corvo) —
Clearly, Contessa wasn't playing around when she said her group, named Cauldron apparently, has connections.
I'm mildly amused that the man with the magic cards is joining a group named fucking Cauldron. Maybe I should get a cauldron of my own to brew my occult concoctions in.
The point is, the government is usually moving at a snail's pace but with me it seems to have gained a Mover rating with how fast they streamlined the 'test new healing, deploy the stand, turn the entire thing into an operation.'
I'm not bothered about the money because… well, Contessa has already paid me this month's ten million plus several bounties. Glenn was also unsure about how best to approach this because the giant sci-fi looking burger-shaped fast food restaurant doesn't exactly match my look as Corvo but in the end the decision was incredibly simple. I don't want anyone else getting the rep for it. Just look at how beloved Panacea is, and unlike her, I never actually have to visit the place in person.
Much like my tower, it's been announced as one of my summoned locations even if that is not one hundred percent correct, and really? Who is going to complain about infinite healing food not matching the vibe of Corvo.
I thought I might have to deal with some weird questions over it in the debut Q&A but… there isn't one. As Glenn explained, my entire reputation is built around being mysterious. Going onto some stage and playing 21 questions with the press would do more harm than good.
We're going with a very 'actions speak louder than words' kinda thing for me. As someone who isn't great at public speaking, that works well enough for me. I've already signed up for the PRT's classes on it for when I'm on the job so I'd rather avoid the media as best as I can until I've got that training under my belt.
So, yeah. It's not exactly 'dark and mysterious' but the reveal of 'oh yeah, Corvo has magical food powers' certainly impressed and left people scratching their heads. At the moment, all food tokens have to be consumed on the premises beyond some being taken to various hospitals by the other Wards. The Stand came with its own staff, but the PRT has assigned security and some workers there as well. Luckily, the food remains in perfect condition even when it shouldn't. Like it's fresh out of the oven, even after a few hours. Plus, it has options like shakes or desserts instead of the large, unhealthy burgers.
Apparently, my power has upset some dude named Cask because this is his entire thing but my food is more effective and you need to drink way more of his healing liquids to have any effect. The idea that I can just slap down this stand and fuck off, leaving it permanently creating food tokens must have felt like a slap to the face to him. His entire gimmick is just something I got as a little extra. Eh. If he didn't want to be shown up, he should have gotten a better power.
Sophia was not happy at Clock joking that she had become a pizza delivery girl in the Wards group chat.
The picture he posted of her handing out food in the children's ward was honestly kinda hilarious to be honest. I've never seen someone manage to look so uncomfortable despite wearing a full body suit and mask.
The cape scene is a lottery, and its survival of the luckiest.
— Missy Biron (Vista) —
Charlie was right.
Firstly, he was right that they made zero resistance when it came to him partnering her up with a talking green dragon. She'd expected some kind of resistance, but they'd just easily agreed as she went through with his plan.
Her Youth Guard handler had been baffled, truly baffled, that Missy had come to speak with them of her own volition. It was a first for her, but they'd listened to her complaints and been suitably aghast at her scar. She'd hidden the outfit that had gotten messed up in her accidental Hookwolf encounter, since she had enough spares to get away with it, but using it as proof that her cutesy skirt and barely armoured chest piece was not fitting for Brockton Bay. It was fitting for most cities since Wards weren't meant for full combat but her argument that her outfit was, by far, the least protective in the Bay had landed exactly as she wanted. Or, as Charlie had said it would. He'd even sent her some examples of other 'mascot' Wards in other cities, who had more protective costumes than hers.
She kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Glenn Chambers and his army of PR bastards to descend upon her and ruin her chances, but… they hadn't.
Glenn, as if he hadn't spent ages stonewalling her, had easily agreed that it was a good time for a tune-up to her costume. Why? Because people loved dragons, and Corvo was themed around his nightmares and ghosts.
So the Brockton Bay heroes needed a dragon themed hero to work with the new addition.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she had to admire just how fast the PR guys could work when they actually felt like doing their fucking jobs. Glenn explained that this was a 3D printed, unarmoured prototype (made by Dragon, which made her squeal a little). They'd thrown up a mock prototype in hours and Dragon had manufactured it for them.
Gone was the stupid fluffy skirt and idiotic visor. Gone was the thin, basically plastic, armour piece on her chest. It was still green, of course, but the new suit was sleek, dark green and looked less cape princess and more dragon rider with a mixture of dark brown leathers and dark green scaled armour pieces. She even had pants and boots! Proper trousers! With pockets!
And a proper helmet instead of the stupid visor she'd been stuck with for so long. They'd talked about her growing out her hair since it'd look better with her new fantasy-ish helmet.
But as much as she fucking loved the new look, going from team mascot to fantasy warrior heroine, her eyes locked onto a specific part. The sheath was currently empty, but what it represented meant so much more.
After all, it was where she was going to be sheathing her spear. The design allowed it to retract for easy transport, taking inspiration from Armsmaster's halberd. The man had even promised to give her lessons on how to use the thing, as polearms weren't exactly common weapons they trained with.
It wouldn't be sharp, obviously. They weren't going to give her something to skewer people with, but the design was very much spear-like and she'd have settled for a tiny baton at this point. A long electrified stick to poke people with was a dream come true.
Because 'long' had a different meaning when she was holding it. Let's see the villains laugh at her when she tased them from a mile in the air.
She'd wanted this for as long as she'd been a hero. She'd never made a single step toward this goal until Charlie had taken pity on her on a whim. All of the others had been sympathetic (besides Stalker), but they'd mostly just shrugged and gone 'what can you do'. Sure, his power had definitely done most of the heavy lifting but… could she have done this herself if she'd just known the rules better?
Grabbing the Youth Guard rule book, she sat down and began to read. Charlie was right. If she had to deal with them, better to know exactly how they work.
— Emma Barnes —
While Sophia and Mads worked on their own plans, Emma had to admit she was stalling. It had been a long time since she'd spent meaningful time with Charlie. They just had different interests, different friends, and while they bickered at times, it wasn't like she hated him.
But she had thought she was better than him. The model, while he played with action figures. Sorry, 'figurines'. The Queen Bee while he hid away in the library playing with cards.
And then he'd gotten powers, and she wasn't feeling so superior anymore. Corvo was taking the city by storm, his name on everyone's lips. People were saying they saw a fucking dragon flying around the Rig last night.
Looking at the video, she froze as she watched Armsmaster flying through the air. Her fingers trembled as she messaged Sophia, her phone vibrating right after.
'yeh, his cards can give people powers. heard he got another one yesterday, had the prt guys going mad.'
Charlie… could give people powers?