Mr. Nair sat on his chair and put on the table lamp and his spectacles. Then he opened the randomly chosen letter which was dated 4 years ago. He read...
"Dear Ananya
Sitting alone, my mind keeps going far away… not knowing its destination but my heart knew it all and secretly whispers to me. Finally our friendship was about to convert into love; but since I was tight-lipped, the story between us got hidden under the backspace!
My love for him started without letting me know that I had fallen for him. In the beginning it was really difficult for me to believe the fact that I had fallen in love but as we started to approach each other and spend time, I was clear…I was clear about my love… and I was clear about his love.
My words have always betrayed me and will continue to betray me whenever he is near, I know my silence was complicated which got unnoticed by him and so the story between us got hidden under the backspace!
I could never speak my heart out to him and he never tried to understand my silence…feelings started from my heart and always stopped when it reached my mouth and thus a friendship always returns back from the doorstep of love; whole life I'll regret that he could never read my eyes; thus the story of my love got vent out through the saline water of my eyes.
It would be a lie if I say that I never tried. I tried…everyday… alas I was too scared to lose him as my friend… a lie gets easily sold out in the market but true feeling are always filtered by people. Thinking about the harsh consequences I step back everyday and console myself and so the story between us got hidden under the backspace…
How can I not speak my heart out and say what I feel for him? Apart from him, whosoever knew me, saw my sincere love for him and they suggested me to confess. I always make up my mind to do so but whenever my eyes met his, I come back to my senses and the reality speaks up before my heart could do that.
I have no harsh feelings that my truth got suppressed somewhere within my heart. Though I wanted to express my love for him...but I guess it was my love (one-sided love) that chooses to be calm and let it go unnoticed and so the story between us got hidden under the backspace….
If this would have been my infatuation, I would have easily moved on; alas it was love and so was left folded and he never tried to unfold it and so the story between us got hidden under the backspace…
This is what makes me step back and walk away…the fear that I might love him more and the belief that he'll never!!!
Don't know how long is it that I have to resist everything and hide all of the truth in my heart; but I can't reveal it. I can only hope that he'll know it…someday
Though I love him, though I feel for him but deep inside isn't brave enough to reveal it. I can only hope that he'll know it…someday
I know I can't move on, also I know that he'll never know what I feel for him...he is special to me who made me experience this crazy beautiful thing called 'love' unknowingly. And I can only hope that he'll know it…someday
Every time we met, my heart yells to him but he never heard it. Do you know how much I had to force myself and pretend to be still? Alas, he never saw it and I never tried to show it. But I can only hope that he'll know it…someday
I don't understand why it must be him…to be the one in my heart…to be the owner of my heart; I guess that my heart is never confused…it's certain that he is the only one that my heart chose…. And I can only hope that he'll know it…someday
The saddest part is that I can never blame him for not knowing my love for him…neither can I blame myself. How could I ditch my best friend who was also his girlfriend? How could I tell her to leave him for me? How could I build my dreams when she was really suffering due to her break-up with him? How could I approach to him when I knew that he loved my best friend? How could I?
But sometimes I really get confused about him…there are times when I feel that he loves my best-friend and will never leave her…there are also times when I feel that he doesn't want to be in the relationship and somehow throws a hint to me…I don't know how far it's true but my love for him is real and will always be the same… and I can only hope that he'll know it someday…
I really don't know what to do. Should I back off or approach? I really don't want to be the villain of their love-story; I can only become a silent lover and in return never expect anything from him. But can only hope that he'll know it somehow someday…
It is a complete lie when someone says that one sided-love is painful. I think it is one of the best feelings ever…where no one knows about our secret admirer including that person itself…where there is no greed but only hope…where there is no fear of losing but only hope. And in my case I can only hope that he'll know it someday…
He might not love me but he taught me, he changed me, he grew me. I don't think my love has failed because it is he who has actually failed. It was he who made me fall in love but himself forgot to fall. I'll never stop for a moment without thinking about him and I know for sure that he'll never stop for a moment and think about me… Days are flying and I don't know what to do. I cannot fight more… I'm tired now …only I can hope that he'll know it…someday
I'm begging you please know it…please know it…..someday!!!
Your Gotham."
Removing his spectacles, Mr. Nair wept his soaked eyes.
TSK!! "How can life be this complicated? Sometimes you know you'll fail but still continues to cling on a single thread."
He gradually slided his bag over his shoulder and moved to the door. Opening the door he again murmured, "What would have been the scenario if this letter was delivered on time?"
He nodded his head in despair. He switched off the light and locked the door from outside.