Despite the daily routine of commuting to the office on Jalan Jakarta from his home in Antapani, the author's mind never stops spinning. As a phlegmatic personality type—a thinker who constantly rethinks what he's already thought—the author often pours his ideas into writing. However, on the Unisba campus, these ideas often spark heated debates with local religious teachers.
It all began when the author wrote a sentence quoted from a street poster he bought because it resonated with his conscience:
"ANYTHING we see can teach us, as long as when we see it, we think and our hearts connect with Allah."
Because the street poster didn't cite a source, the author simply wrote it without referring to the Quran or Hadith. This immediately sparked misunderstandings and sharp criticism from the Unisba religious teachers.
"Identifying a hadith is just a reservoir. I'd rather it be mistaken for someone else's own thoughts. I don't even want to cite a hadith. I want to be accused of being my own thoughts. I'd rather have a plagiarist cite someone else's thoughts. This is a hadith. What should I call someone like that?)
In fact, the essence the author wants to convey through this sentence is an invitation to contemplate the verse with a heart connected to the Creator. The author likens it to a satirical metaphor: Don't be like the Japanese who eat mangosteens with the skin on. Of course, it will taste bitter. So, the mangosteen must be peeled first to get to the sweet flesh. This is how to understand the verses of Allah.
However, the Unisba ustadz refuted this idea using formal Islamic jurisprudence. "If we have to think about and logically interpret all of Allah's verses and His decrees, why is the Fajr prayer only two rak'ahs when our bodies are at their most refreshed? Meanwhile, the Asr prayer is four rak'ahs when our bodies are at their most sluggish? So, in our religion, we must be sami'na wa atho'na (we hear and we obey)."
The cleric even offered another comparison: "It's the anus that farts, but why is it that other parts of the body are washed during ablution, not the anus? So, if we consider all the verses with human logic, we will never reach the end."
The author sighed. What the author is referring to is certainly not logically applying fixed Islamic law, such as the issue of farting or the number of rak'ahs in prayer. For verses with definite and clear rulings, the author certainly agrees with the principle of sami'na wa atho'na. The author's focus is on the space to reflect on verses that are mutasyabihat—verses that have hidden meanings or multiple interpretations.
The author then strengthens his argument by citing Jeffrey Lang's views from his book, "Even Angels Ask." One classic debate arose when the author wrote an essay stating that "God's face and hands are everywhere."
Another sharp comment came from a Unisba religious teacher: "If that means God is like a human. He has a face and hands. Being everywhere means he's also in the toilet." (If that means God is like a human. He has a face and hands. Being everywhere means he's also in the toilet.)
I'm tired! thought the author.
For the author, the text should not be interpreted literally (anthropomorphism). The author explains his understanding that the word "face" there represents His presence, while "hand" signifies His power. This understanding is firmly based on holy verses, one of which is the last verse of Surah Yaasin:
"So, glory to God in Whose hand is the dominion of all things, and to Him you will be returned."
14. Metaphors of the Cocoon and the Itchy Caterpillar
In the eyes of the Unisba religious teachers, the author's presence with his unconventional thoughts may have been disturbing, like an itchy caterpillar. However, the author was not discouraged. He had a firm belief: from an ugly caterpillar, through the process of self-isolation and fasting within a cocoon, he would one day mutate into a beautiful butterfly loved by many, even children. But that would be later, not now.
To express his belief, the author composed a poem entitled "Kepompong." As expected, the Unisba religious teachers immediately refuted the poem by citing verse 69 of Surah Yaasin:
"And We did not teach him (Muhammad) poetry, nor was poetry befitting him. The Qur'an is but a lesson."
and a book that provides enlightenment."
Nevertheless, the author chooses to remain steadfast in his poetry and writing. He adheres to the principle of the hadith narrated by Bukhari, which states: "Indeed, information is magic, and indeed, poetry is wisdom (knowledge)."
A similar heated debate resurfaced when the author stated that prayer can be used in any language, because Allah understands all the languages of His creatures.
A lecturer immediately retorted sarcastically, "Do you think my prayer is in Sundanese?" (Is it possible to pray in Sundanese?)
The author can only smile bitterly. Every statement that comes out of my mouth is always overly drawn out, to the point of being overly expansive. I am certainly still sane; I never thought that prayer recitations could be replaced with a language other than Arabic, because prayer has standard guidance (tawqifi) from the Prophet Muhammad. Based on this guidance, prayer is established. As for prayers outside of prayer, freedom of language is normal. (Later, the truth of this thought was proven in society, such as the phenomenon of Mamah Dedeh who always concluded her sermons with a prayer in Indonesian tailored to the theme of her event.)
15. Postulating on Good Deeds and Resetting the Soul in a Third of the Night
As a phlegmatic person, the author often gets caught in the labyrinth of his own thoughts. All of life's anxieties often come to a head at night. I often worry about the family's financial situation, which often adheres to the "out-of-pocket" system. There is a sense of anxiety when thinking about the future of children (barudak), seeing their peers being able to attain higher education. While my children only finished high school, I was in college. Furthermore, those who had graduated now worked at home, not in an office or a well-established company.
Worry about my children's future continued to gnaw at me, causing me to suffer from acute insomnia. I was only able to close my eyes late at night.
Even though I had fallen asleep at midnight, my biological clock always forced me to wake up exactly one-third of the way through. Because I hadn't yet memorized the recitation of the tahajjud prayer, I didn't pray. I simply sat in contemplation, pondering in the darkness of the night, contemplating a solution or perhaps a thought for a writing project. If I had an idea, I immediately jotted it down on a piece of paper, hoping it would be useful in the future. After that, I lay awake until morning without sleep.
Seeing her husband often sitting daydreaming at night, Indung Barudak (my wife), who had become accustomed to performing the tahajjud prayer, finally gently reprimanded him, "Sir, rather than missing out on the tahajjud prayer." (Sir, instead of daydreaming like that, it's better to pray tahajjud.)
Driven by his phlegmatic nature, which loves peace and is reluctant to argue, the author ultimately complied with his wife's suggestion. However, because he hadn't memorized the prayer, he only prayed three rak'ahs in a flash and finished without any wirid.
Indung Barudak, who was observing, immediately asked in surprise, "Sabaraha rak'ah, sir, why only a moment?" (How many rak'ahs, sir, why only a moment?)
"Three rak'ahs, ma'am," the author answered honestly.
"Three rak'ahs, I'm so tired." "Father is a good man, so I'll do 11 rakaat at most," (Three rakaat is for the old man who's already weak. Father is still healthy, so at least 11 rakaat), his wife chimed in.
The author finally complied. However, as he stood upright on the prayer mat and was about to recite his intention to complete the 11 rakaat, a healthy thought crossed his mind: Rather than performing these 11 rakaat just to show off in front of his wife, wouldn't it be much better if I did it sincerely?
In that instant, during this second tahajjud prayer, the author completely overhauled his intention in his heart. He prayed purely for Allah. All the burdens of his thoughts, from financial worries to worries about his children's future, were poured out and surrendered to the Creator.
As soon as the final greeting was uttered, a miraculous feeling came over him. His heart suddenly became very peaceful. All the complex thoughts that had previously clogged his brain disappeared. It was as if he had just been reset. He felt light, like someone newly reborn. With the burden on his head gone, a healthy drowsiness finally set in. He glanced at the clock; it was about one-sixth of the night—and it was in that remaining time that he finally fell into a deep, restless sleep.
Later, through reading literature, he discovered that his sleep and prayer patterns, unintentionally, aligned with an authentic hadith regarding the Prophet David's night prayer method—the most beloved night prayer.