SOPHIA'S POV;
"Okay so what happens if I decide that I don't want to do that, what then?" My wolf is starting to get irritated with me and I know this because I see her inside of my head rolling her eyes. " If you decide not to and want to wait it out the heat last a total of seven days, usually a female won't get her heat until she turns 19 but we know all of our mates so that's why it's happening so early on. This is the first day each day the heat will intensify and will happen every month at random times until you decide to complete the mating ritual." My thoughts slowly disappear as I feel Connor playing in my hair and asking if i'm ok. I give him a quick nod before continuing my conversation with Athena.
" I'm sure the heat can't get any worse than this. We can pull through and make it perfectly fine on our own." Athena laughs at my statement like it's the funniest thing I've said so far. "My decision is final Athena" I yell in my head. I look around to see the guys staring at me. "Can you guys leave?" I question with slight regret knowing that the heat will get worse once they're gone."I just want to be by myself for a little bit if that's ok with you guys." They all look at each other debating on if they should leave me by myself. Deciding this was the easiest yet hardest decision I've had to make and the sad faces surrounding me do nothing to ease the ache I begin to feel.
I push them off the bed making my way towards the door and opening it. Connor opens his mouth to speak but quickly shuts it as I give him the deadliest glare I could make. Without another word the guys quickly leave, with every step they take closer to the door, I feel the pain intensify.
Holding on to the wall I drag myself into the bathroom and run a cold bath. I refuse to change my morals of life because of some stupid temperature. I sink down in the ice cold bath submerging myself in the water holding my breath.
I lay on my side and let myself drift off to sleep, only to open my eyes and see my mother. "Ok you have got to stop doing this. I'm in the middle of some very personal stuff at the moment. I would appreciate it if you could call or text me instead of dragging me into your garden."
She looks at me and laughs as if what I said was the funniest joke she ever heard. "You mean you're going through your heat. I told you that talking to them at the same time wasn't the best idea. I said that because I knew that this was about to happen. And it's completely normal for a female wolf to go through when they find their mate. You don't have to be ashamed of anything, besides how do you think you got here, magic?" I lay back into the rows of flowers and think about everything that she said. " I can't do it, I can't just fall in love with them so easily, it shouldn't be like this I shouldn't have to be with more than one guy because of some stupid story that just so happens to be true. I don't want this, I don't want any of it, if I could go back in time I'd make sure that I never met any of them and then this wouldn't be happening."
" You can reject the mating bond if you choose to. However, if you do that they all lose power and become vulnerable against their enemies, they might even get killed if a member of their packs or clans try to fight them for Alpha and king. Of course they will have the opportunity to find a second mate, but you will never have that chance, and you will become enraged with anger and might turn into a rogue, so you're past life, the one you want back you can never have. Packs don't like rogue wolfs and will kill them if they invade their territory. But you are not just any wolf, you are royalty and could live with abuse from packs around the world the second they discover who you are." I sit up thinking about everything she said. " You know, it seems like every time we have a conversation I have so many questions about it. What would it feel like if I rejected them?"
" If the mate bond is rejected the connection that you feel to them will be severed. Ripped out of you completely, and once it completely breaks you can never repair the bond you had, it feels like a shot to the heart and everything turns white for a moment while your wolf tries to fight the rejection. rejecting can result in you loosing your humanity all together, and since you are a rare wolf, you only have the mates you were given. The guys will feel pain from the connection breaking but you are connected to all of them so it can cause severe damage to your mind and soul more than them."
"The power you feel now will diminish into the smallest spark, and the guys will lose half of their power until they find their second chance mate, but they will never be as strong as they are with you their first mate." She looks at me patiently waiting for me to ask her another question knowing that I have a million of them left.
" You said that I could turn into a rogue? what does that mean exactly?" She takes a deep breath before speaking. " Becoming a rogue can be for many reasons, an Alpha can strip a pack member from the pack and banish them if they question the Alpha or if an Alpha doesn't like them and decides they are not worthy of the pack anymore. Most rogues can be banished for things they had no control over and are forced to leave their friends and family. Rogues are constantly on the run from other pack leaders, if they step into a packs territory the pack can and will capture them to find out the reason they crossed their territory. Rogues have no control over anything and go through a lot of torture. Some rogues have packs of their own where they make a space that hasn't been claimed by any Alpha's their territory and accept others like them."
She looks me in my eyes making sure that if i didn't pay attention to anything else I listen to this. " They have no rules and if a female rogue is in heat other male rogues will mate with that female with or without her consent. Most rogues do what they want because they don't have an Alpha or humanity depending on how long they've been rogues. You can become a rogue or have their tempers if any of your mates have been killed and the pack can vote you out or go to the council and inform them of your behavior causing you to either be killed or banished."
" Rogues don't have the best life do they?" She shakes her head no with sad eyes. " If I never met them to begin with? what would that mean for me?" Looking down i can see a tear fall from her eyes as she picks up a flower and places it inside of her hands before crumbling it and letting the petals fall to the ground. " You would't have had anyone to save you all those times Connor did, you wouldn't have any fight left in you and would've taken your life a long time ago when the abuse started to happen. I know you might not think that what i'm saying is true but the pain would've been to much for you to handle by yourself. With the guys not being there to make you smile and talk to you would be alone and eventually wouldn't be able to do it anymore. The life you have right now was for a purpose, it made you strong and brave, preparing you to rule the supernatural world with them by your side." I lay back down on the grass " I think I know what I have to do."
~ARRI~