Chapter 37: Ruthlessly Robust
Dginnie was almost sorry to leave the snow leopard clan lands.
Almost.
She had enjoyed the weekend more than she had expected. Kael's family had welcomed her, fed her, teased her, and involved her in so many activities that she had barely had time to worry about whether she was doing anything wrong.
She had even acquired a new appreciation for snowball fights.
And a healthy suspicion of anything described as a harmless family game.
Still, when they returned to Ruthlessly Robust Beast Academy, she felt a wave of relief.
The familiar buildings stood beneath the cold morning sky. Students moved between classes, carrying books and talking among themselves. Somewhere in the distance, someone was arguing about an assignment.
Dginnie looked at the academy and smiled.
"Home."
Kael glanced at her.
"You're pleased to be back."
"I am."
"Even after such a wonderful weekend?"
"Especially after such a wonderful weekend."
He laughed.
"Family is fun, isn't it?"
"It is."
"And?"
She looked at him.
"And what?"
"There's usually an 'and' when someone answers that quickly."
Dginnie considered the question.
"Your family is lovely. I like them very much. But I think I would find it exhausting to live with all of them permanently."
Kael's tail swayed.
"That is a sensible conclusion."
"You don't mind?"
"Why would I? We all feel the same way."
"I thought you might want to return to the clan lands eventually."
"I might. But that doesn't mean I expect us to live with my entire family."
He leaned towards her.
"I love them. I also enjoy being able to close a door and know that nobody will come in unless I invite them."
Dginnie laughed.
"That is reassuring."
"Besides, my father would probably become unbearable if I lived close enough for him to visit every day."
"Your father already seems quite capable of being unbearable from a distance."
Kael looked delighted.
"I knew you would understand."
They unpacked their belongings and returned to their ordinary routines. Dginnie put away the gifts she had brought home, including several jars of ingredients that Kael's mother had insisted she take. Kael arranged his own things, then helped her sort through the notes she had made during the visit.
She had written down names, family relationships, recipes, questions about clan customs, and several reminders to ask Kael about things she had forgotten to ask while surrounded by relatives.
At the bottom of one page, she had written:
Find out whether all snow leopard families are like this.
Kael read it over her shoulder.
"Like what?"
"Like yours."
"Wonderful?"
"Terrifying."
He laughed.
She added another line.
Probably not all wonderful.
"That is a very unfair description of my family."
"Your family tried to bury me under a pile of cubs."
"You were laughing."
"I was being crushed."
"You were laughing while being crushed."
"That doesn't make it better."
"It does suggest that you enjoyed yourself. But you are right. Every family is different."
She gave him a look.
He kissed her cheek.
She decided not to argue.
They settled into the comfortable rhythm of their shared space, and for a little while, the world outside seemed less pressing.
Then Kael noticed that Dginnie was looking at the name of the academy on a document lying on her desk.
Ruthlessly Robust Beast Academy.
She had been a student there long enough to know that its name was not merely an odd flourish. The institution had a reputation for demanding more from its students than most other academies. It expected them to be ambitious, disciplined, and resilient.
But she had never asked why.
"Snowpad?"
Kael looked up.
"Yes?"
"Why is the academy called Ruthlessly Robust?"
He paused.
"You don't know?"
Dginnie turned slowly towards him.
"That is becoming a very familiar question."
His ears tilted back.
"Sorry."
She sighed.
"It's all right. I know I'm missing a great deal of basic knowledge. But I would appreciate it if people stopped looking so surprised every time I ask something."
Kael moved closer and sat beside her.
"You're right. I'm sorry."
She gave him a small smile.
"Thank you."
He glanced at the document.
"The academy was founded after one of the great wars. The buildings stood among the ruins of a settlement that had been destroyed during the fighting. The founders wanted future generations to become strong enough to survive what had happened to their ancestors."
"Ruthlessly robust," Dginnie murmured.
"Exactly. Ruthless in pursuing their goals. Robust enough to endure hardship, recover from failure, and continue when others might give up."
"So the name is an aspiration."
"Yes. A wish for the future."
She looked at the document again.
"That is rather different from what I imagined."
"What did you imagine?"
"An institution that wanted its students to become ruthless towards everyone else."
Kael considered that.
"Some people might interpret it that way."
"Do they?"
"Some believe strength means never yielding, never admitting weakness, and never allowing anyone to interfere with your goals."
Dginnie looked at him.
"And you?"
"I think strength also means knowing when to stop. Knowing when to ask for help. Knowing what matters enough to protect, and what isn't worth destroying yourself over."
She smiled faintly.
"That sounds suspiciously like something you learned from your family."
"It probably is."
He took the document from her and set it aside.
"The founders wanted beastmen to survive. They had seen what happened when we were too weak to defend ourselves. They wanted the next generation to be capable of filling the land again, building homes, raising cubs, and living without constant fear of another catastrophe."
Dginnie became still.
"Another catastrophe?"
Kael glanced at her.
"I suppose I should tell you about that, too."
She reached for the notebook.
"Should we write it down?"
"Yes."
She opened it to a fresh page.
At the top, she wrote:
The Founding of Ruthlessly Robust Beast Academy
Kael began to explain.
The academy had been established amid the ruins of war, but the war itself was only one part of a much older pattern.
Every few centuries, something happened to the beastman population.
The records were incomplete. Many had been destroyed during conflicts, while others had been lost when settlements were abandoned or libraries burned. Some accounts contradicted one another. Others referred to events whose causes had long since been forgotten.
But the broad pattern was difficult to ignore.
A period of decline would begin.
Disease would spread.
Beastmen would become violent, lose their reason, and attack those around them. The infected would eventually die, but not before causing terrible destruction.
The surviving communities would isolate the sick, cull those who had become dangerous, and burn the bodies to prevent further spread.
Then would come the years of rebuilding.
Population numbers would fall. Families would disappear. Certain bloodlines would become rare, while inherited disorders and other genetic conditions became more common among the survivors.
Eventually, pureblooded beasts or humans would appear.
Their arrival helped replenish the population, although nobody understood exactly where they came from or why they appeared when they did. The number who arrived was never the same and showed no pattern.
And then, after generations had passed, the cycle would begin again.
Dginnie listened without interrupting.
When Kael finished, she looked down at the notebook.
"What causes the disease?"
"Nobody knows."
"Is it a virus? A bacterium? A parasite?"
"Those are some of the possibilities researchers have considered. Someone has been using it as a biological weapon against us."
"What carries it?"
"Insects."
Dginnie looked up.
"All insects?"
"No. At least, not all the insects we know. Certain kinds appear to be associated with outbreaks. The problem is that the records are incomplete, and the disease itself is difficult to study safely."
"What happens when someone is infected?"
"At first, there may be changes in behaviour. Irritability. Confusion. Suspicion. Eventually, the person can become violently irrational. They may attack family members, friends, or strangers without recognising what they're doing."
Dginnie felt a chill that had nothing to do with the weather. It sounded a bit like rabies.
"And then they die?"
"Yes."
"Are they scared of water?"
Kael gave her a strange look.
"No. Why would they?"
Probably not rabies then.
"Nevermind. How long does it take before they die?"
"It varies. The records disagree. Hours, days, weeks, months."
She wrote that down.
"What about treatment?"
"None is reliably effective once the disease has progressed far enough. There are ways to reduce the risk of transmission, and people who might have been exposed are isolated and monitored. But the worst outbreaks have devastated entire communities."
Dginnie stared at the page.
"And the culling?"
Kael's expression grew sombre.
"It is regarded as a last resort. But when someone has reached the stage where they are attacking everyone around them, the danger is severe. Historically, communities have killed those who are too far gone to be restrained or treated. The bodies are burned to prevent the disease from spreading."
Dginnie put down her pen.
She understood the logic.
That did not make it easy to hear.
"Do people know when the next outbreak will happen?"
"No. There are signs that the risk may be increasing, but there is no reliable way to predict exactly when or where it will begin. Most people believe we are still in the rebuilding and replenishing phase and that we still have time before the next outbreak."
She thought about the stories she had heard, the gaps in the records, the fear woven into the academy's founding.
"Why do people think someone is trying to exterminate beastmen?"
Kael leaned back.
"Because the pattern is too destructive to ignore. Each cycle leaves us with fewer people, fewer intact bloodlines, and more inherited problems. It is difficult to believe that all of it is merely coincidence."
"But the disease could occur naturally."
"It could. Or it could be deliberately introduced."
"I see. Or someone could be experimenting on the population."
Kael looked at her.
"That is one of the theories."
Dginnie tapped her pen against the notebook.
"What are the others?"
"Some people believe the Rebels are responsible. They argue that certain Rebel groups are concerned about overpopulation, overcrowding, resource depletion, and environmental damage. They think those groups may be trying to reduce the population deliberately."
"That seems like an enormous accusation."
"It is."
"Is there evidence?"
"There are claims, suspicions, and fragments of information. Nothing that has settled the question."
Dginnie frowned.
"And the pureblooded beasts and humans who appear?"
"Some believe they're part of an experiment. Others think they are replacements, or some kind of genetic stock maintained elsewhere. A few believe that the entire planet is a controlled environment."
She stared at him.
"Controlled by whom?"
"That is where the theories become less convincing."
"Go on."
"Aliens."
Dginnie blinked.
Then she laughed, although she didn't disbelieve it. It was just the natural reflex reaction that even people on Earth would have when aliens being among them were brought up. After all, the beastmen were aliens in their eyes and whether they realised it or not, she was an alien to their planet.
Kael looked faintly offended.
"I said the theories were less convincing."
"You said aliens."
She didn't want to believe it and yet considering her transmigration and experience, it was completely possible.
"Yes."
"Aliens."
She really didn't want to believe it. Why did it sound so believable.
"Would you prefer another word?"
It sounded like Kael thought she was mocking or laughing at him. She wasn't. Really wasn't. Because it could really be true. And she didn't want it to be true, because imagine the sort of technology she/they would be up against if they wanted to fight for their own survival.
In the eyes of less developed civilisation, technology was magic because they had no explanations for the things that could be done.
Dginnie pressed her fingers to her forehead.
"Foreigners perhaps? I'm sorry. It's just that you've gone from an unexplained disease to population experiments to aliens in the space of five minutes."
"I did warn you that the records were incomplete."
"Your people have very active imaginations."
"We have also had several thousand years to develop them."
She laughed again, then sobered.
"Do you believe any of these theories?"
Kael considered the question.
"I don't know. I think it is possible that some people are trying to manipulate the population. I think it is possible that the disease has a natural cause that we have not discovered. And I think it is possible that some of the stories have become distorted over generations."
He looked at her.
"But I don't think we should dismiss every possibility simply because it sounds strange."
Dginnie glanced down at the notebook.
He had a point.
She did not believe in aliens simply because a group of people had failed to explain a disease. But she also knew that a lack of evidence was not the same as evidence that something was impossible.
Take her transmigration for example. It was unexplainable. Impossible.
And there was something about the repeated appearance of pureblooded beasts and humans that bothered her.
"Could the population decline and the appearance of new people be connected?" she asked.
"Possibly."
"Could the disease be part of the same process?"
"Possibly."
"What if the disease isn't the only cause of the population decline?"
Kael went quiet.
Dginnie looked at him.
"You see? Now I'm doing it, too."
"Doing what?"
"Inventing theories."
He smiled.
"I think everyone has the right to ask questions."
She rested her chin on her hand.
"I would still like to see the original records. Not just summaries written by people who may have misunderstood them."
"That may be difficult."
"I know."
"The older records are scattered. Some are kept in clan archives. Others are held by universities or government institutions. Some may have been lost entirely."
Dginnie wrote that down.
Then she underlined it.
Original records.
She had spent much of her life trying to understand a world whose rules she had never been taught. She had learned to research because asking people often resulted in confusion, embarrassment, or answers that raised more questions than they settled.
But this was different.
There was a mystery here that affected an entire civilisation.
And somewhere beneath the missing records, the conflicting accounts, and the strange appearance of new bloodlines, there might be an answer.
She looked at Kael.
"Do you think the academy's founders knew more than we do?"
"Perhaps. They lived closer to one of the great outbreaks. They may have seen things that later generations forgot."
"Then I want to know what they knew."
Kael smiled.
"I do too, to a certain extent."
She looked back at the notebook.
The stars had reminded her that there were stories people told to help them endure uncertainty. The academy's founding story was another such story, though its emphasis was on strength and survival rather than miraculous rescue.
Yet both seemed to contain the same underlying hope.
That the present was not the end of the story.
That even after terrible losses, people could rebuild.
That something worth protecting might survive.
Dginnie closed the notebook.
"Thank you for telling me."
Kael brushed a strand of hair from her face.
"You're welcome."
She leaned into his hand.
Then she glanced at the clock and sat upright.
"Oh, no."
Kael blinked.
"What?"
"I have an assignment due."
He looked at her for a moment.
Then he began to laugh.
Dginnie stared at him in disbelief.
"This is not funny!"
Kael laughed harder.
Dginnie grabbed her books.
"Snowpad, I love you, but if you don't help me organise my notes, I may have to reconsider the wisdom of becoming your mate."
His laughter stopped.
She looked at him.
He looked at her.
Then he smiled.
"Barley."
Dginnie burst out laughing.
"That is not how the safe word works!"
"I thought I would test whether it remained effective."
"It remains effective. You are still in danger."
"Then I shall help with the assignment."
"Good."
He pulled his chair beside hers.
Together, they opened her coursework and began sorting through the papers.
--------------------------------------
Chapter 38: Preparations
The notebook lay open on the table between Dginnie and Kael.
It had accumulated considerably more writing since their first discussion. Questions about responsibilities, personal space, work, children, disagreements, and their expectations for a shared life filled its pages. Some questions had been answered in detail. Others had acquired smaller questions beneath them, which in turn had acquired answers and further questions.
Dginnie had once thought that discussing a future together would be a pleasant exercise in imagining possibilities.
It turned out that imagining possibilities was the easy part.
Actually arranging them required an astonishing amount of paperwork.
"I think we've covered most of the important things," Kael said, turning another page. "We know where we want to live after graduation, we've discussed how we'll divide our responsibilities, and we've agreed on how we'll handle disagreements."
"We've also established that you think putting your dirty clothes next to the laundry basket counts as putting them away."
"I put them near their intended destination. That is a meaningful contribution to the household."
"It's a meaningful contribution to the laundry mountain."
Kael smiled. His tail curled around the leg of his chair.
Dginnie looked down at the notebook again.
"And now we have the mating ritual to think about."
His smile softened.
"Yes."
The word seemed to change the atmosphere between them.
They had discussed the ritual before. They had read about it, asked questions, and considered what they might need afterward. Dginnie had even made a rough list of study materials she might want during her recovery.
None of that had stopped the prospect from becoming more intimidating as the date approached.
She knew that Kael would be affected by his rut. She knew that the process could be physically demanding, that she might need several days to recover, and that she would have to be sensible about her health.
Knowing something in theory was rather different from preparing to experience it.
"Perhaps we should speak to Advisor Merrow," she said. "About how much time we should take off from classes and work."
"Agreed."
"And assignments."
"Also agreed."
"And whether we're going to fall so far behind that we'll spend the rest of the semester regretting our life choices."
"That seems unnecessarily pessimistic."
"You once spent three hours repairing a kitchen appliance because you didn't want to admit you should have bought a replacement."
"It was a perfectly good appliance."
"It was making a noise like an angry insect."
"It was a complicated noise."
"It was a machine dying noise."
Kael reached across the table and took her hand.
"Then we'll speak to Merrow before you start planning our academic funeral."
Dginnie squeezed his fingers.
She was glad he could still make her laugh. Lately, whenever she thought too hard about what lay ahead, her imagination seemed determined to produce increasingly alarming possibilities.
A little practical planning might give her something more useful to concentrate on.
---
Advisor Merrow listened to their concerns with the expression of someone who had expected this conversation eventually.
"You are wise to raise the question now," she said. "Both of you have demanding schedules. Neither of you should assume that you will be ready to return to normal activities immediately afterward."
"How much time should we take off?" Dginnie asked.
"That depends on how the ritual progresses, how long Kael's rut lasts, and how you both recover. We can make a provisional plan, but I cannot promise that your bodies will follow it."
Dginnie glanced at Kael.
He looked perfectly composed.
His tail, however, had begun moving slowly from side to side behind his chair.
She had learned that this was not always a sign of calm.
"Would a week be sufficient?" Kael asked.
"Possibly. It would be unwise to treat that as a guarantee."
Merrow drew a sheet of paper toward herself.
"I recommend that you complete any assignments due within the next month before your scheduled mating. Speak to your lecturers about upcoming assessments and obtain any lecture materials you can access in advance. You can review recordings, read course notes, and work on assignments during your recovery if you feel well enough. But do not make your recovery dependent on maintaining your usual productivity."
Dginnie opened her mouth.
Merrow raised one finger.
"That includes you, Dginnie."
"I haven't said anything."
"You were about to ask whether you could finish extra work in advance."
Dginnie closed her mouth.
Kael looked delighted.
"She knows you well," he observed.
"She knows students well," Dginnie corrected.
"Some students," Merrow said, "are more predictable than others."
She began helping them work through their schedules. They listed upcoming assignments, practical sessions, examinations, and work commitments. Merrow advised them to speak to their supervisors before the ritual and arrange temporary leave rather than attempting to explain their absence afterward.
By the time they finished, Dginnie had a plan.
It was not a perfect plan, because no one could predict precisely how long they would need to recover. Nevertheless, it was a plan, and that was a considerable improvement over lying awake at night imagining their entire academic futures collapsing because of a few days of interrupted study.
Then Merrow put down her pen.
"There is another matter we need to discuss."
Dginnie felt her shoulders tense.
"Is there a problem with the date?"
"No. The date is suitable. The concern is that Kael's rut may last longer than you expect."
Kael's expression became more attentive.
"Because we're already living together?" he asked.
"That is one possibility. After the matebond forms, considering your species, continued proximity may cause your rut to flare periodically. It is not inevitable, and the severity varies, but we need to consider the possibility before you make your arrangements."
"How periodically?" Dginnie asked.
"That depends on your individual physiology and compatibility. We would need to monitor the situation after the ritual."
Merrow turned to Kael.
"You are taking hormone suppressants?"
"Yes."
"And have you experienced any difficulty controlling your instincts while living with Dginnie?"
"Some but no significant difficulty. When it was bad, I used the emergency suppressant."
The answer was immediate.
Dginnie looked at him.
She had known he was considerate. She had known that he deliberately gave her space when she needed it, and that he never treated his greater size or strength as permission to make decisions for her.
She had not fully understood how much effort might lie behind that restraint.
Merrow turned back to Dginnie.
"I need to ask you something personal. When you experience estrus, how frequently does it occur?"
Dginnie stared at her.
"Estrus?"
"Ovulation and mensturation."
Oh.
Dginnie blushed.
There were certain questions one could discuss quite comfortably in the abstract, particularly when they concerned fictional beastman biology or the contents of an academic textbook.
Being asked about one's own reproductive cycle in front of one's boyfriend was an entirely different experience.
"Well..."
Kael waited.
Merrow waited.
Dginnie wished the chair would swallow her.
"Every month," she admitted.
Silence.
Merrow blinked.
Kael stopped moving his tail.
"Every month?" Merrow repeated.
"Yes."
"Regularly?"
"Yes."
"Naturally?"
Dginnie stared at her advisor.
"I don't know what else it would be."
Kael sat very still.
For a moment, Dginnie thought he might be ill.
Then he looked away, one hand covering his mouth.
"Oh," he said quietly.
Dginnie frowned.
"What?"
He lowered his hand.
"Nothing. I just understand something now."
"Understand what?"
"The scent."
Her face warmed.
Kael continued before she could ask him to elaborate.
"I've noticed it several times since we began living together. I thought you might have been injured during a cocurricular activity. Then I wondered whether you had some recurring illness you hadn't told me about. I even considered whether you were taking hormone supplements."
Dginnie wanted the floor to open.
"You thought I was repeatedly injuring myself?"
"I was trying to think of a reasonable explanation for the smell of fresh blood."
"And you never thought to ask?"
"It seemed personal. I didn't want to embarrass you."
She covered her face with both hands.
Merrow, who had apparently decided that dignity was a luxury neither of them could afford at present, leaned forward.
"Kael, you said you had considered hormone supplements. Why?"
"Because I take hormone suppressants."
Dginnie lowered her hands.
"You do?"
"Yes."
"To prevent your rut?"
"Partly. They help me manage it, particularly while I'm living with someone I'm attracted to."
Someone.
She looked at him.
"Someone being me?"
His ears tilted back slightly.
"Yes, Dginnie. You."
For a moment, she could not find anything to say.
She had known that Kael was careful with her. She had known he paid attention to her comfort and never rushed her when she was uncertain. But she had thought of those things primarily as expressions of his character, of the man he was choosing to be with her.
Now she understood that some of his consideration had also been a conscious effort to manage instincts he did not want to impose on her.
He had been preparing for the possibility that his body might want something before she was ready to give it.
And he had been trying to make sure that possibility never became her problem.
Her embarrassment gave way to something warmer and more complicated.
"You've been taking those this whole time?"
"Yes."
"Even before I agreed to become your mate?"
"Especially then."
His answer was so simple that it hurt a little.
Merrow did not look nearly as relieved as Dginnie felt.
"If Dginnie's estrus occurs monthly, we need to be cautious about what happens after the matebond forms," she said. "Kael, your suppressants may not be sufficient to manage the response to a matebound mate living in the same household."
Kael considered that.
"It might mean I need a different dosage or a different treatment plan."
"It might. Or you may find that living together becomes impractical during certain periods. We cannot know until we have assessed your response."
Dginnie looked from one to the other.
"You mean we might have to live apart?"
"It is a possibility," Merrow said gently. "Some couples do so for physiological reasons. It is not an unusual arrangement among snow leopards."
Kael nodded.
"If it becomes necessary, we'll arrange something suitable."
He sounded almost casual.
Dginnie did not.
She looked down at their hands, still resting together on the table.
She had spent so long trying to secure a future in which she could study, work, and make her own choices that she had not expected the prospect of losing something as ordinary as coming home to Kael every evening to hurt so much.
She had not realised how much she had begun to look forward to that small, familiar comfort.
"I don't want to live apart," she said quietly.
Kael's fingers closed around hers.
"I don't want that either, but your health comes first. We'll work out what is safest. It doesn't mean we have to decide today."
He didn't tell her that everything would be fine. Nor did he promise that biology would conveniently arrange itself around their wishes, because that would have been pointless.
Instead, he kept holding her hand.
Merrow watched them for a little while before speaking again.
"There is something else I need to ask you, Dginnie. And this time, I suspect the answer may change considerably more than your study schedule."
Dginnie looked up.
"What is it?"
Merrow folded her hands on the desk.
"Before we discuss your future family arrangements, I need to understand something about your ancestry."
------------------------------------
Chapter 39: A different kind of beast
Dginnie had begun to suspect that every time she visited Advisor Merrow, she would leave with more questions than answers.
She had expected to discuss her ancestry eventually. Her inability to explain certain gaps in her knowledge had already caused enough concern, and she knew that Merrow was trying to understand where she had come from.
She had not expected the subject to arise while discussing her reproductive cycle.
"Before we go further," Merrow said, "I need to ask about your understanding of your own species. I have suspicions I would like to clarify, if I may."
Dginnie hesitated.
"My species?"
"You identify as human, correct?"
"Yes."
"Not a member of a human clan with a weakly expressed beast lineage? Not someone whose ancestors lost their ability to transform?"
Dginnie frowned.
"I don't think so. None of my ancestors were able to transform. We've always been like this. I'm human. Humans don't have a beast form."
Kael shifted in his chair.
Merrow glanced at him, then back at Dginnie.
"So as far as you know regarding your ancestors, no one has ever been from another lineage or been able to transform?"
Dginnie shook her head.
"I don't have any information about them that would answer that question. As far as I am aware, we are genetically incompatible with any other species other than human. So I actually don't really know if I will be able to have any cubs. That's why I asked Kael the other day how much he wants children and why I have been so reluctant to agree to finding a mate and forming a matebond. I don't know if I can have children with beastmen."
Merrow seemed to be choosing her next words carefully.
"Pureblooded humans are extraordinarily rare. Most people who identify as human in modern society belong to lineages that carry at least some beast ancestry, even if their beast characteristics are too weak to manifest a transformation. The same principle applies to beastmen. Generations of intermingling have made completely isolated lineages unusual."
Dginnie stared at her.
"All right. But what does that have to do with our discussion now?"
Merrow and Kael exchanged a glance.
It was brief, but Dginnie caught it.
"Well?" she prompted.
Merrow sat back.
"Perhaps we should begin with your original question. You asked how beastmen and humans can be genetically compatible if they are different species."
"Yes. Because in most cases, there wouldn't be children at all. And sometimes the offspring are sterile. How does it work in our case?"
For the first time that afternoon, Kael looked genuinely startled.
"You're asking how it works between a human and a beastman?"
"Yes."
"Because you're human?"
"Because we're different species!"
She spread her hands.
"I don't understand how you can have children together. I thought that was a reasonable question."
"It is," Merrow said quickly. "It is a perfectly reasonable question."
But she was looking at Dginnie with an expression that made Dginnie increasingly uncomfortable.
"What?" Dginnie asked.
Merrow looked at Kael again.
Kael's ears had risen. His tail had gone completely stiff.
"Are you telling us," he said slowly, "that you have no beast ancestry at all?"
"I don't know how many times I need to say it. I'm human."
"That isn't quite what I asked."
Dginnie stared at him.
"I don't have a secret leopard form, Kael."
"I know that."
"Or a secret anything else."
"I know."
"Then what are you asking?"
Merrow lifted a hand before Kael could answer.
"Dginnie, we need to establish whether your ancestry is genuinely human, or whether you come from a lineage whose beast characteristics are no longer expressed. Those are very different things."
"Why?"
"Because the implications for your reproductive capacity and compatibility may be very different."
Dginnie looked between them.
She could hear the words. She understood the words individually.
She was beginning to suspect that she would soon regret asking her question.
Merrow continued.
"If your ancestry is entirely human, your genetic profile may be unusually valuable to certain lineages. Pure human genetics could potentially help restore reproductive viability in bloodlines that have become dangerously narrow. It could also be relevant to lineages that have lost the ability to transform."
"Potentially?" Dginnie repeated.
"We would need proper testing before making definitive claims, but it has been so in the past when beastmen mated with pure blooded humans."
"So you think I might be..."
"A pureblooded human," Merrow said.
Dginnie blinked. Of course she was. It's just that she had attempted to hide it and had momentarily forgotten when she might be accused of being anything other than a pure blooded human. Plus, she genuinely had wanted to know how it would be possible to have cubs with a snow leopard beastman although Kael had brushed her concerns away before.
Kael looked as though he wanted to leap out of his chair and run several laps around the room.
He did not, presumably because he was trying to behave like a responsible adult.
Instead, he leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and began asking Merrow questions about inheritance, compatibility markers, and the distinction between reproductive viability and transformation expression.
Merrow answered, then introduced several additional terms Dginnie had never encountered.
They discussed recessive traits, genetic bottlenecks, lineage stability, and the possibility that certain inherited characteristics might be restored through carefully selected pairings.
Dginnie listened.
She really did try.
Unfortunately, the conversation was rapidly turning into a lecture delivered in a language she almost couldn't understand.
"Wait," she interrupted. "If I'm genetically compatible with some beastmen, does that mean I'm compatible with all of them?"
"Yes," Merrow said. "But no. But yes."
"I'm confused. Then how do you know which ones?"
"Compatibility testing can provide some information, but it cannot guarantee reproductive outcomes. High compatibility means higher chances of healthy offspring. You and Kael were already tested as having high compatibility. In fact, you have relatively high compatibility with most beastman species, which surprised me when you first enrolled. I will admit that it made organising your compatibility sessions much easier."
"What happens if I'm not compatible with someone?"
"Then the likelihood of successful reproduction and healthy offspring may be low, depending on the nature of the incompatibility."
"Right. So what happens if I am compatible with someone?"
Merrow paused.
"That is precisely the difficulty."
Kael sat back.
The excitement had not entirely left his expression, but concern was beginning to overtake it.
Dginnie recognised the look. It was the same one he wore when he discovered a problem that had been overlooked because everyone else had assumed it was too complicated to solve.
"Advisor," he said, "how much of this information is reportable?"
Merrow's expression became guarded.
"That depends on what we establish. But the discovery of a pureblooded human is subject to mandatory reporting by university staff."
Dginnie felt the room grow colder.
"Reporting to whom?"
"The relevant authorities."
"And what happens after that?"
Merrow did not answer immediately.
Kael did.
"They'll want to protect you. Take you into protective custody."
The way he said it made Dginnie look at him sharply.
"Protect me from what?"
"From being lost, exploited, or claimed by someone who shouldn't have access to you."
"And what happens after they protect me?"
Neither of them answered or were willing to meet their eyes.
Dginnie slowly drew her hands into her lap.
"What happens to my studies?"
Merrow's expression tightened.
"Your education would not necessarily end. But your circumstances would change."
"How?"
"Your reproductive potential would become a matter of considerable public interest. Certain authorities might insist that you accept additional mates over time, particularly if testing showed that your lineage could help restore other bloodlines."
Dginnie stared at her.
"Insist?"
"Strongly insist. That is the concern."
"You're saying they could decide I need to have children with people I haven't chosen?"
Merrow looked pained.
"I am saying that some people would consider your reproductive capacity a social resource, and they might argue that preserving bloodlines takes precedence over your personal preferences."
Dginnie felt a strange, hollow sensation beneath her ribs.
She had worked so hard to get here.
She had studied, taken part-time jobs, and earned a scholarship. She had endured a new world in which she could barely understand the customs around her. She had tried to learn everything she needed to make sensible decisions about her future.
And now she was being told that the more valuable her body might be to society, the less society might care about what she wanted to do with it.
"What about my degree?" she asked.
Merrow's gaze softened.
"Dginnie..."
"I worked for it. I earned it. I don't want to abandon my studies because somebody decides I should be having babies instead."
"I know."
"Do they know that? This is so unfair!"
Dginnie felt her clothes becoming drenched in cold sweat as she jumped up and looked like she was ready to punch some furniture.
Merrow had no answer.
Kael rose from his chair and moved beside her.
He did not touch her immediately. He waited until she stiffly reached for him, then gathered her into his arms.
Dginnie pressed her face against his chest.
His scent was familiar. His warmth was familiar. The steady movement of his breathing was something she could concentrate on while everything else seemed to tilt around her.
"I don't want this," she whispered.
"I know."
"I don't want strangers deciding who I belong to."
Kael's arms tightened, then eased again.
"You don't belong to them."
"But what if they say I do?"
"Then we'll deal with them."
It was a bold promise.
Perhaps too bold.
Dginnie knew Kael could not simply overpower the entire government on her behalf. She knew that his good intentions did not automatically make him capable of protecting her from every consequence.
Still, he had not told her to stop worrying and he hadn't told her that she was being unreasonable. After all, she was being perfectly reasonable right now.
He was taking her fear seriously and she appreciated it.
Merrow rose and came around the desk.
"I need you to understand something," she said. "I have a professional duty to report certain discoveries. I cannot promise that I can protect you indefinitely by keeping this information secret. I'd be risking both my career and my life."
Dginnie lifted her head.
"Are you going to report me?"
Merrow looked at her for a long moment.
"I am going to give you what time I can."
It was not the same as a promise.
Dginnie understood that.
But it was also not a betrayal.
Merrow continued.
"We have a scheduled mating ritual and registration coming up. I can delay reporting your status until after those are completed. Your relationship with Kael will then be formally recognised, and that may give us a stronger position from which to negotiate your future arrangements."
"And after that?"
"I will be required to report your status by the time of your first post-initial-mating medical examination. They will be doing a full medical examination at that time. We won't be able to hide anything after that."
Dginnie closed her eyes briefly.
So they had a deadline.
Not a particularly generous one, but a deadline all the same.
"What happens when they find out?" she asked.
Merrow's expression became grim.
"Interest in you will increase dramatically. Especially among clans whose bloodlines are deteriorating, whose members are losing the ability to transform, or whose reproductive prospects have become increasingly poor."
Dginnie felt Kael's hand move gently over her back.
"Which is why," Merrow continued, "we cannot simply register your relationship and hope that everything will work itself out. We need a plan to protect you."
Dginnie took a slow breath.
"All right."
Merrow blinked.
"All right?"
"Yes. I don't understand all the genetics yet, and I'm not sure I understand the laws. But I understand that you think I may be in danger if the wrong people find out. I understand that you want to help me."
She looked up at Kael who had drawn her onto sitting on his lap, curling his tail protectively around her. She stroked it as she spoke.
"And I trust him."
His expression changed.
It was a small change, but she saw it. The tension in his face eased, and his eyes softened in a way that made her chest ache.
Dginnie turned back to Merrow.
"I don't want to be treated like a resource. I don't want to be forced to have children. And I don't want to lose my education. But I know you can't promise that none of those things will happen."
"No," Merrow said quietly. "I can't."
"Then help me make the best plan we can."
Merrow nodded.
"That is what I intend to do."
--------------------------------------
Chapter 40: The Price of Protection
"Before we discuss possible mates," Advisor Merrow said, "I want to make one thing very clear. You are not going to solve this problem by finding the first powerful beastman willing to claim you."
Dginnie, who had been contemplating precisely how reassuring it might be to find a powerful beastman willing to stand between her and the authorities, looked up.
"Why not?"
"Because power alone is not protection. The person must be willing to use that power in your interests, and they must have enough influence to withstand pressure from others."
Kael nodded.
"Someone who agrees with the authorities that Dginnie should have as many mates as possible would be of little use, no matter how powerful he was."
"Exactly."
Merrow sat down again.
"We need to consider your position within any household you join. Kael may be your first mate, but that does not necessarily mean he will retain the position of chief mate if you later take another. Seniority, authority, capability, and clan standing can all affect household arrangements."
Dginnie turned to Kael.
"Would that mean someone else could take your place?"
"In some circumstances, yes."
"And you would have to accept that?"
Kael considered the question.
"If we lived in a society where our household was left alone to make its own decisions, we could negotiate our arrangements between ourselves. But if the authorities began imposing additional mates on you, refusing to cooperate might give them an excuse to remove me from the household entirely."
Dginnie stared at him.
"Remove you?"
"Or reduce my authority within the household. The exact legal mechanism would depend on the circumstances."
Merrow nodded.
"And that is why we need to think beyond your immediate relationship. If a more powerful mate were imposed on you, Kael might find himself unable to prevent it. A person with sufficient influence could protect you both, provided that person genuinely respected your wishes."
Dginnie looked down at her hands.
She had imagined finding a mate as a personal decision. She had thought about whether she liked someone, whether she trusted him, whether they could build a comfortable life together.
Now she was being asked to consider a prospective partner's political influence, clan authority, reproductive compatibility, and ability to resist government pressure.
It was an extraordinary amount of work to find someone to love.
"I don't want to choose a mate because he can win a fight with the authorities," she said.
"Nor should you," Merrow replied. "But we cannot ignore the fact that power may become relevant to your safety."
Kael sat beside her.
"We can look for someone who has the strength to protect you without wanting to control you."
"That sounds suspiciously like finding another you."
His ears lifted.
"Are you saying I'm replaceable?"
"I'm saying I would prefer not to have to conduct a recruitment campaign for a second boyfriend."
Merrow covered a smile with her hand.
Kael leaned back, looking offended.
"I see. I am to be judged against an impossible standard."
"You are to be judged against the standard you established by being considerate and kind."
"That is an even more impossible standard. I have to be considerate and kind every day."
Dginnie managed a small smile.
For a few seconds, the room felt ordinary again.
Then Merrow cleared her throat.
"There is another consideration. If the authorities begin looking for suitable mates, they will not necessarily wait for you to develop an interest in someone. They may present you with candidates and expect you to cooperate."
Dginnie's smile disappeared.
"Then we need to find people before they do. Right?"
"That is my thinking."
Merrow drew a fresh sheet of paper toward herself.
"We should begin filtering potential candidates. We need people with sufficient authority to protect you, suitable compatibility, and a genuine willingness to respect your autonomy. We should also consider whether their clans would benefit from a relationship with you in ways that would make them more inclined to defend you."
Dginnie watched her write.
"How many mates are we talking about?"
"We cannot know. The authorities may not agree that one or two are sufficient."
"How many would they want?"
"That would depend on their assessment of your reproductive capacity and the needs of the bloodlines they seek to preserve."
Dginnie felt sick.
"Could they force me to keep having children until I died?"
Merrow did not look away.
"If people with sufficient authority decided that your reproductive contribution was more important than your health, that is a danger we must take seriously."
Kael's expression hardened.
Dginnie felt his anger before he spoke. His tail tightened around them, and his ears were angled back.
"We need to ensure she is never left alone to face them."
Merrow nodded.
"We make certain she has allies. We establish relationships with people who can challenge an unreasonable demand. We document her wishes, her medical needs, and her academic commitments. And we find out which officials are likely to help rather than hinder us."
"That still sounds like preparing for a war," Dginnie said.
"It may be a political struggle rather than a physical one. But yes, we should prepare."
Dginnie was quiet for a while.
Then she asked, "What about Professor Halven?"
Merrow's pen stopped.
Kael looked at her.
Dginnie felt her face grow warm.
"I know he's a dragon. That's the part that frightens me. But I didn't dislike him during the compatibility sessions. He's intelligent, and he's been considerate. I haven't had enough time with him to know whether I could trust him as a mate, but if things didn't work out with Kael and I could overcome my resistance to his species, I was interested in him."
Merrow set down her pen.
"That is a very important distinction."
"What is?"
"Being frightened by his species is not the same as being afraid of him personally. We need to understand which concerns are based on what you know of Halven, and which are based on what you've been told about dragons."
Dginnie thought of Halven's polished manners, his direct questions, and the way he seemed to understand the rules of a conversation without making her feel foolish for not knowing them.
She also thought of the stories she had heard about dragons, their power, and their authority.
"I don't know him well enough or enough about him to decide," she admitted.
"That is fair."
Merrow folded her hands.
"Dragon clan beastmen are uncommon, and very few find a partner with whom they feel sufficiently compatible to establish a matebond. Their clans also tend to have considerable authority. Halven's clan is particularly influential."
Kael's expression became thoughtful.
"And dragons can travel considerable distances quickly," he said. "If we needed to move Dginnie somewhere safe, that would be useful."
"Precisely. Halven could offer protection that neither of us can provide alone."
Dginnie looked between them.
"And what would it cost?"
Merrow did not pretend to misunderstand.
"If Halven became your mate, he would likely have a strong claim to the position of chief mate. Given his clan standing, physical abilities and capabilities, he might well outrank Kael."
Dginnie turned to Kael.
"How do you feel about that?"
He was silent for a moment.
"I don't like the thought of someone else having authority over our household," he said honestly. "But I dislike the thought of you being coerced far more."
His hand found hers.
"If Halven can help protect you, and if he treats you well, I am willing to discuss it."
"Even if he becomes chief mate?"
Kael's tail moved once.
"Even then."
Dginnie searched his face.
He was not pretending the prospect was pleasant. He was not smiling and declaring that he would be delighted to surrender his place.
He was choosing to consider it because he cared about her.
That made it harder, not easier, to bear.
Merrow drew a breath.
"I would like your permission to bring Halven into this discussion. We need to know whether he would be willing to help, and whether he would be interested in a formal relationship with you."
"Would he have to become my mate immediately?" Dginnie asked.
"No. But if he is to stand with us as a recognised partner, we would need to establish the legal arrangement. We can register the relationship before the matebond itself forms like you were planning to do with Kael."
Dginnie hesitated.
"And if I decide I don't want him?"
"Then we will have to reconsider our options. His involvement must be voluntary on his side, too."
Kael squeezed her hand.
"You don't have to agree to him just because he's powerful."
"I know."
"And you don't have to decide whether you want to mate with both of us today."
"I know."
She paused.
"But I would like to talk to him. I would rather understand what we're considering than spend the next week imagining the worst."
Merrow nodded.
"Then I shall invite him."
She reached for the communication device on her desk.
Dginnie watched her prepare the call, suddenly aware that their lives were about to become considerably more complicated.
She leaned into Kael's side.
He put an arm around her without hesitation.