Every day has been painful. Every guest who visited had same questions and discussions. "When are you returning back to your husband's home? Are you seriously getting divorced? Think before you do, nobody else would want you. You maybe 24, but you will be like a second hand passed down object." Naila was tired of listening to these.
"Object?" It was what Naila could never stop questioning about. "How am I an object when I'm breathing. Starting seeing people as living being. I'm not an object. I feel things, I feel everything," she screamed, but internally, as shouting at the guests would add more to the fire burning everyday.
"Can you ask people to not come just to create troubles for us?" Naila asked her mother while helping her in the kitchen, preparing dinner.
"You don't get to make decisions here, we do," her mother replied harshly.
"I guess I'm expected to have no opinions in any house," Naila felt sad and replied to her mother.
Naila at the same time has been looking for some job opportunities. She wanted to leave home as soon as she could, escape from this hell.
She found a lot of teaching jobs are many rural areas. But there was one that caught her attention but they asked her too many questions.
'Are you planning to get married, if you're married, how are you planning to stay away from family? If you are married, when are you planning to have children? Are you sure about postponing your pregnancy? Why are you choosing to stay away from your family? What does you husband do? How did he let you choose our school that's almost 300 kms away from your home?
They had too many personal questions to which Naila answered cleverly. "Marriage does not mean that I cannot be myself. I always wanted a teaching career but unfortunately and due to circumstances, I Iost my way. Now that I have gotten an opportunity, I do not wish to miss it again. My husband is happy with my decisions as he also we will be away for couple of years for his career. I'm still young and I have years in front me to choose motherhood and definitely not now. Maybe this opportunity will be a great experience before I become a mother myself, learning to be with kids," she convinced them somehow that she has nothing short of long term plans. But the salary negotiations did not go well.
She interviewed for the post of a homeroom teacher for primary and she is yet to hear back from them. What made Naila love the most was the location of the school, it's distance from home, and the facilities.
Most of the time Naila sat in her room, looking outside the window, like a caged bridge, waiting to breakfast and fly away, waiting to go to new places, touch new heights, moving along the clouds. Her heart craved, despite knowing well that it's going to be hard, navigating alone, for the first time, but she desperately wanted it. It all felt better than being home, a home that never consoled her, that never supported her. Every day she waited, felt like years. She received two offer and those were close by. The pay and location made her turn them down, reaching back to square one. Anxiety grew only higher.
Amidst of all this, she did not realise that her so called husband has not reached out to her at all. Two weeks had gone by.
It appeared that Danish had gone on a vacation to Europe. Naila could not just believe it. It meant one thing, that he had hid this matter from her while preparing and did not even let her know about the dates.
"Wow," Naila felt betrayed again. "Another reason to divorce then," she threw the phone onto the bed and kept staring outside the window.
Another week passed and this time her in-laws decided to speak with her. "Are you relaxed now? Don't have to cook or clean," her mother in law said.
"Not much," Naila replied.
"She is lazy," Sarah commented. "Sleep, eat, do something, eat, watch something, sleep," Naila felt betrayed again. "This is all she does," both the mothers rolled their yes, expressing the disappointment.
"Left my son alone in a huge house and now he is traveling alone too. All because of your stubbornness," Danish's mother stabbed Naila with words.
"You son hid the fact he hired the cook when I was doing nightshifts, he never let's me know about his work trip, even now, he must have prepared for travel for months for the visa procedures, but in the past two month, he did not let me know a single word about it," Naila said, "Why?" She asked.
"It must be his another work trip or wanted to surprise you," mother in law defended her son.
"Answer me about the cook part also," Naila demanded answers.
"You started working on your own will, leaving him alone at nights. Of course I did not teavh him household chores which women must do. He would not know cooking, so he hired a person, what is wrong in it?"
"One of the reasons I kept working despite the difficulty in the job was because your son demanded money from me every month, though it was hectic for me to meet the number he decided. But there was a peace after paying it, though it meant losing most my salary every month. At least I did not live as a free-loader. I had literally begged him to hire a cook but he never did. But once I left, he was inviting them everyday,"
"What is wrong in what he did? Can't he have a help?" Mother in law asked.
"Why was it wrong when I asked for the same? Why the double standards? Why was I considered the lazy one her quickly?" Everyone remained silent. Nobody had anything to say. Naila stood up. "This is just a single example. There are many more like this," she looked in the eye and said,
without tearing up this time. "Do you want me to list them all?"